Ranma ½ does not belong to me. You can tell it doesn't belong to me, due to the distinct lack of sex in the series.

Chapter 3: Seduction of a Tomboy.

Indicates dialogue in Chinese

Shampoo sniffed as she watched her sister Conditioner exchange vows (Amazon style) with her new husband. He was an American kick boxer, and had swept Conditioner off her feet. Shampoo had been overjoyed to learn that her sister was getting married, but she had been more than a little envious (for obvious reasons). She and Cologne had left for China almost as soon as they'd heard Conditioner had a new Airen. Mousse had stayed behind; largely due to Conditioner's love of kicking him between the legs at every given opportunity (she really didn't like the blind boy).

I'm so happy for you sis. Shampoo said.

Thank you. Conditioner replied. So what's happening with that Japanese Airen of yours? Is he still playing hard to get?

Yes. But I will get him eventually!

"C'mon, hurry up!" Nabiki snapped. "There's still more sales to get to, and Kuno-baby's credit card is still burning a hole in my pocket."

"Isn't using someone's credit card without their permission identity theft?" Akane asked, as she struggled to avoid dropping the huge amount of packages she was carrying.

"She's right," Ranma said, "I'm pretty sure you can go to jail for that." He was carrying an even bigger amount of packages than Akane was.

"Right. Like Kuno-baby ever checks his credit card bill," Nabiki said dismissively, "Now come on, I hear the next store calling." With that, she took off, followed by her grumbling little sister and her also grumbling soon to be brother-in-law.

When they had gotten out of the house earlier that day so Dr. Tofu could finally tell Kasumi how he felt about her, they hadn't expected to be a couple of pack mules for Nabiki's shopping spree. And yet, there they were, struggling to carry enormous amounts of clothes and surveillance equipment (the latter of which would no doubt be put to use for less than morally acceptable practices).

In a way, however, Akane was sort of glad to be there. It had been a couple of days since she had walked in on Ranma in the furo, and gotten an eyeful of the MONSTER between his legs. Since then, Ranma had switched from teasing her to "accidentally" brushing up against her on a near-constant basis. Akane was positive that her baka fiancé was doing it on purpose, trying to either embarrass her or turn her on, both of which he succeeded at.

"Speaking of Kuno," Ranma said, "I haven't seen him, or Mousse for that matter, since they got shaved bald."

"Neither have I," Akane replied, "They're probably planning something."

Kuno looked over the plans Mousse was showing him. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Positive," Mousse said as he unconsciously adjusted the baseball cap he was wearing to hide his bald head, "Ranma won't be able to do that damn jumping around he does with the…"

Before Mousse could finish his sentence, a ribbon shot out, wrapped around the wig Kuno was wearing (that looked nothing like his real hair), and yanked it off his head.


Mousse sweatdropped as he watched his ally chase a cackling Kodachi around the room.

Kasumi hummed to herself as she hung the laundry out to dry. I wonder when Dr. Tofu will get here. I should probably act surprised to see him, she thought, I think I'll give him a big, sloppy kiss. She blushed and giggled as she imagined herself and Tofu in a passionate liplock. All of a sudden, the voice of the man she was fantasizing about broke her out of her daydream.


"Yes, Dr. Tofu?" she asked, her heart pounding.

"Th-there's something I've b-been wanting to t-tell you for quite some t-time," Tofu stammered.

"Yes?" Kasumi said. Her heart was pounding even harder.

"K-Kasumi, I l-love y-"

Tofu's confession of love was interrupted by Kasumi's lips meeting his, much in the same way as she'd been imagining just moments ago. Tofu stiffened in surprise, then, as if a dam had burst, began passionately, almost roughly began kissing her back. The couple made out furiously for several minutes, before an amused voice interrupted them:

"Looks like I'm interrupting something," Nodoka Saotome said, smirking in a way not unlike her son.

"Oh, Auntie Saotome," Kasumi said, her face flushed, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, with Genma gone with Happosai I thought I'd move back in here," Nodoka said, "If that's alright."

"Of course it is," Kasumi replied.

Any further discussion was cut off by the sound of Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki returning home.

"Glad that's over," Ranma grumbled as he set his armful of packages down.

"Yeah, no kidding," Akane agreed, ridding herself of her own burden. She then turned towards her oldest sister and, taking in the sight of her flushed face, disheveled (for Kasumi) appearance, puffy lips, and the fact that she was obviously breathing heavily, and the fact that Tofu looked very much the same, smiled and said, "I guess it went well, huh, Dr. Tofu?" He nodded enthusiastically, a silly grin on his face.

"So does this mean you guys are a couple, now?" Nabiki asked.

"Yes!" Kasumi said happily, wrapping her arms around Tofu.

"Well I'm happy for you two," Ranma said, then, as if noticing Nodoka for the first time, asked, "Hey Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Well, Ranma I'm moving in here. I spent the entire time Genma was training you living alone, and I'm not about to go back to that," Nodoka replied.

"That's great!" Ranma said, looking forward to spend some quality time with his mother (as long as it didn't involve buying clothes for his girl side, something Nodoka seemed very fond of). Of course, this could have an impact on his plans to seduce Akane, but Ranma would cross that bridge when he came to it.

Later that night…

Ranma was awake, but he was waiting until he was sure his mother was asleep. When the time came, he crept out of the guest room and towards Akane's room. Silently entering, Ranma looked at his sleeping fiancée. How the hell could I have ever called her uncute?

"Akane…" Ranma whispered, "Wake up…"

Akane slowly opened her eyes and sat up, only to see nothing. I could have sworn I just heard Ranma just now, she thought, then lied back down, yawning. Must've been dreaming… Akane closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Outside Akane's room, Ranma stood, cursing himself. Shit, shit, shit! I can't believe I chickened out!

The next day, Ranma woke up, still sporting an erection from all the erotic dreams he'd had about his favorite tomboy. As he headed towards the furo, he ran into Akane, knocking her down.

"Sorry about that, Akane," Ranma said and pulled her to her feet, making sure to hold onto her just a little longer than was necessary.

Akane blushed furiously, before backing away. "D-Don't worry about it, Ranma," she said.

Later, the two were running towards the school. It looked like they might actually be on time for a change. All of a sudden however, Ryoga, who had, miraculously, found Furinkan, charge towards Ranma, screaming his signature phrase:

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!"

Ranma groaned, easily dodging the Lost Boy's first attack. He was surprised, however, when Ryoga didn't rush at him again.

"What's the matter, pig-boy?" Ranma sneered. "Afraid to face me? Guess you finally developed some common sense."

Ryoga chuckled. "You're the one who should be afraid, Ranma," he retorted. "With my new technique, I will defeat you once and for all!"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I've heard that before."

Ryoga raised his arms and began to gather his ki. Ranma stood his ground, ready to see just what new trick the Lost Boy had developed this time, and how he could copy and/or counter it.

Ryoga stood on one leg and began to spin like a ballerina. Ranma stared incredulously.

Ryoga continued to spin. Ranma continued to stare.

Ryoga spun more. Ranma began tapping his foot impatiently.

Finally, Ryoga's hands began to glow, and he stopped spinning. He didn't shout out any attack phrase, he simply lowered his arms and let loose a bright beam of energy…

…where Ranma had been before easily dodging.

Seeing his attack missed, Ryoga raised his arms and began to spin again. This time, however, he was interrupted by Ranma's foot slamming into his side. The part-time pig crashed into a nearby tree.

"The big beam-thing is impressive Ryoga," Ranma said calmly, "But with that long wind-up, I've got plenty of time to stop you from using it."

Ranma's words, for once, managed to penetrate Ryoga's thick skull. He's right! Ryoga thought, As fast as Ranma is, I might as well shout out "I'm going to attack you now!" Ryoga dropped to his knees. "I'VE BEEN LEARNING A TECHNIQUE THAT'S COMPLETELY USELESS!" he screamed, then collapsed and began sobbing.

Ranma stared at him, but before he could say anything, he became aware of two more threats.

Kuno and Mousse stood before him, both sporting confident grins.

"This is the day you pay the price for all your misdeeds, sorcerer!" Kuno said.

"Alright, let's see what stupidity you guys have come up with this time," Ranma replied.

"Let's see how stupid you think THIS is!" Mousse shouted, pulling a rope that was seemingly attached to a nearby wall.

"What the hell?" Ranma said, as huge nets shot out from hidden places around the area. Ranma backed up quickly to avoid getting tangled up, and ran into a fountain. It broke and drenched Ranma, the water having its usual effect on the pig-tailed martial artist.

"Pig-tailed girl!" Kuno shouted, leaping towards Ranma. "Doubtless the foul sorcerer Saotome has used his vile magic to escape and put you in his place, but do not worry my love, I shall save you!"

"Stop, you idiot! That's Ranma!" Mousse shouted, pouncing on Kuno.

"Are you mad as well as blind?" Kuno snapped. "How could you possibly mistake this flower of feminine beauty for the vile sorcerer?"

The two began to fight, getting tangled up in their own nets in the process. Within seconds, they were effectively tied together, barely able to move. They continued to argue.

Ranma stared at the two of them, then turned back towards the still sobbing Ryoga. Ranma shook her head, then headed towards the school. "Idiots," she muttered.

The day seemed to drag on forever. Ranma kept fantasizing about how he was going to seduce Akane, the image of her under him, moaning in ecstasy never leaving his thoughts for more than a few seconds. It took some careful maneuvering to prevent anyone from noticing the massive tent in his pants he was sporting for most of the day.

Finally, the day ended and night began. As he had the previous night, Ranma waited until he was sure Nodoka was asleep before getting up. I really wish Mom could've stayed in some other room, he thought.

Ranma stealthily crept towards Akane's room and silently opened her door.

Akane was lying in bed, asleep. Ranma quickly undressed and then went up to her and leaned over.

"Wake up, Akane…" he whispered in her ear.

Akane's opened, slowly at first, then quickly when she saw who was in her room. Her eyes widened further when she took in her fiancé's naked body.

"Ranma, what are you doing you perver-" Ranma cut her off by leaning over and kissing her passionately. Akane's mouth had been open when their lips met, and Ranma took advantage of this, sliding his tongue in her mouth. It was one hell of a kiss. Akane's toes curled and her back arched. When Ranma broke the kiss, she was breathing hard, as if she had just run a marathon.

Akane stared at her fiancé. His intentions were clear. "Ranma…" she said, but he spoke before she could finish.

"Shh," Ranma said, "Tell me to go, Akane, and I'll go."

Akane stared at him for a moment before replying. "Don't go."

Yes! Ranma thought. He kissed her again, as his hands began to roam all over his fiancée's body. He inwardly smirked, as he saw that all the times he had "explored" his girl body were paying off, judging from the gasps, moans, and sighs coming from Akane, and from the way she was squirming.

Soon, Akane was as naked as Ranma, her legs spread wide. Ranma positioned himself at her entrance… and then stopped.

"What's the matter?" Akane said, breathing heavily.

"I thought that with all martial arts training, not to mention all the high kicks, that your hymen would've torn a long time ago," Ranma replied.

"Yeah, you'd think so," Akane said, "but I've been careful about that."

"Oh," Ranma said, and then began to withdraw.

"Woah, what are you doing?" Akane yelled, not caring if she woke up the entire house.

"Akane, I broke my girl form's hymen pretty soon after getting cursed." Ranma explained. "It hurt like hell. I don't want to do that to you."

"What? You come in here, get me all hot and bothered, and now you're just going to stop? I don't think so, Ranma Saotome! You finish what you started and stick it in me!"

"But it'll hurt you!"

"Not as badly as I'll hurt you if you don't!"

"Well, since you put it that way," Ranma said. (When Akane wanted to, she could project more menace than a school of sharks. It was almost enough to cause Ranma to lose his erection. Almost.) With a quick thrust of his hips, Ranma shoved himself inside his fiancée, ripping through her hymen like it was tissue paper. Akane gasped, her face grimacing from the pain of penetration.

Ranma saw this and despaired. I hurt Akane! He began to pull out, but Akane wrapped her legs around him.

"Don't you dare take it out!" she said. "J-Just give me a minute- gods, you're so BIG- to adjust." Ranma obeyed, waiting until Akane relaxed and said, "Alright, start."

Ranma began to thrust in and out of her, slowly at first, then he began to pick up speed. Akane's moans filled the room.

Nabiki listened to the noises coming from Akane's room. (It was hard not to.) Sounds like my little sister finally got her man, she thought as a wide grin broke out across her face. Maybe if I tape it and show it to their various suitors, they'll take the hint and give up. She thought about it for a moment, then frowned. Nah, that's what I thought when I sent them the wedding invitations. She still couldn't believe Ukyo and Shampoo had acted like they had. The weeks following the wedding, Ucchan's and the Nekohanten had the worst business since they had opened in Nerima. This was because Nabiki had spread the word that anyone that didn't want to piss her off (i.e. pretty much the entire school) had better avoid both restaurants like the plague. These days, the only people in all of Furinkan who ate at either place were, ironically, Ranma, and, in the case of Ucchan's, Akane. The two of them were entirely too forgiving in Nabiki's opinion.

Kasumi blushed as she heard her youngest sister becoming a woman. "Oh my," she whispered. She made a mental note to make sure Akane got some form of contraceptive.

Nodoka smiled, the noise her son and his fiancée were making more than enough to wake her up. My son is so manly!

Ranma and Akane continued their coupling. After a while, the initial reactions of the other occupants of the household wore off. They instead began to be impressed by Ranma's stamina. However, as the night went on, that feeling wore off too. They began to get irritated, wishing the two of them would finish up already so that they could get some sleep.

Finally, Ranma and Akane both screamed out their mutual release. Ranma collapsed, then rolled over on his side, holding Akane while he did so.

"I love you, Akane Tendo," he said.

"I love you too, Ranma Saotome," Akane replied while snuggling up to him.

"Would you like to go see a movie with me on Saturday?" Ranma said, "We could get dinner afterwards."

"Are you asking me out?" Akane asked, smiling.

"Yes I am."

"I'd love to."

Ranma grinned. The two laid there in each other's arms for a few minutes. Suddenly, Akane began to chuckle.

"What is it?" Ranma said.

"First, we got engaged. Then we had sex. Then we said we love each other. Then you asked me out on are first date," Akane explained. "Don't most couples do that the other way around?"

Ranma smiled. "But we're not most couples, tomboy!"


Well, that's it. I might do a sequel to this. As for the thing about Shampoo's sister's wedding, that was just to explain where she's been in this fic, because I hadn't realized until I began this chapter that she hadn't appeared.