Joe97: Howdy folks. This is a short story I wrote back in 2003 I believe, during the beginning of my interest in fan fiction. The content is pretty much the same, just with minor edits to make it sound better. I added a bit to the ending to make it better as well. Maybe there will be more Bomberman stories from me in the future, who knows. =)
Pommy's Toilet Troubles
It was a typical afternoon. Bomberman had managed to fend off every villain that threatened his peaceful home of Planet Bomber. Thanks to the local mayor, he was awarded with a medal as a hero and even given a home by the people of the city. He had achieved a lot in his adventures but today was just a lazy day.
He curled up in a big red armchair, his feet propped up on a foot rest and a book in his hand. He finished reading over the last page and closed the book with a feeling of satisfaction. It was quite fulfilling to complete a book that thick; it made him ease into the chair even more. He heaved a heavy sigh as his stomach rumbled. It couldn't be a sign of hunger, he pondered; he had just eaten.
He felt his waist tighten up and then he realized what it meant. He leaped up from his chair and raced to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He finished his business and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. As he scrubbed them beneath the warm water, he looked over at the corner of the bathroom where there was a litter box that had Pommy's name on it.
His thoughts drifted to his little friend. He was a good creature…creature…but definitely not the brightest. Just then he heard a pounding on the door.
"Hurry up!" wailed Pommy "Pommy has to go!"
"Alright alright!" yelled Bomberman.
He wiped his hands on a towel and just as soon as he opened the door, Pommy ran in and slammed it behind him. His thoughts continued to focus on the small rabbit like creature.
"Maybe it's about time I teach Pommy has to use the toilet" he pondered.
Bomberman realized this event could cause quite a disturbance, but he had nothing better to do anyway.
Later that day, Pommy entered the bathroom for another visit. As he switched on the light, he saw Bomberman standing there waiting for him. The small animal cried out in fear and put his hands over his head, trying to hide in plain sight.
"What are you doing!" he wailed "You scared me!"
"Pommy" started Bomberman "I think it's time I teach you how to use the toilet."
Pommy look shocked, and then it turned into a look of melancholy.
"But, I love my litter box!"
He ran over to the box, attempting to hug the sand. His eyes were filling with tears.
"Pommy gave him a name and everything" he cried "Biff is my best friend!"
Bomberman felt an unusual blankness creep upon his face.
"Not only is this completely disgusting" he thought "He named a used box of sand Biff…this is going to be more trouble than I'd bargained for."
"You don't have to leave Biff. You just have to do your business elsewhere."
"Business?" the creature wondered.
Bomberman leaned over and whispered into Pommy's ear.
"Eww!" he wailed "That's gross!"
"It's just something we all do. Now do you want to learn or not?"
"I guess" Pommy complained "But if Biff doesn't like it, then I'm quitting."
"Sure, whatever" said Bomberman, dumbfounded.
A few minutes later, they began the training session.
"Now, the first thing you have to do is lift the seat.
He lifted the seat up and down twice. Pommy raised his hand.
"Can you show me one more time?"
Bomberman did so, an annoyed expression on his face.
"Got it" said Pommy.
"Next, you sit down and do your business, remember?"
"I remember" he said, making a disgusted face.
"Then you use this paper. It's called toilet paper. After you use it, you flush and you are done."
Bomberman flushed the toilet to demonstrate. The sound of the roaring water scared Pommy and he ran and hid underneath the sink.
"It's ok" comforted Bomberman "That's just the sound a toilet makes when it flushes."
"Oh; Pommy is so silly!"
"You got all that?" questioned Bomberman.
"Sure thing" cheered the animal happily "Pommy will be the best bathroom user ever!"
Bomberman sighed and left Pommy to his business. He was almost praying that his bathroom wouldn't be destroyed. He returned to his armchair and pulled out another book, ready to tackle another thick volume of adventure! A few minutes later, he heard strange noises coming from the hall. He looked up from his book and realized it was coming from the bathroom. He walked up to the door and closed his eyes as he placed his hand on the knob. He took a moment to prepare himself for what he might see.
He opened the door, and to his annoyance, toilet paper was strewn about in all directions, all over the place!
"Myu! Myu!" cried Pommy as he leaped over Bomberman's head, carrying the toilet paper roll.
The paper landed softly on his head and Bomberman grew angry.
"Pommy" he said, trying to contain his rage "What are you doing?"
"Pommy thinks the bathroom looks better this way" he answered proudly.
"The toilet paper is for cleaning yourself, not for decorating Pommy."
"Ok" he said defeated "I'll clean it up."
Once again Bomberman left to continue his book. Several minutes passed with Bomberman engrossed in his book; he hadn't noticed the time fly by. The concentration on his book was broken when he felt water lapping around his ankles. He panicked and dropped his book as he ran to the bathroom. He flung open the door to see Pommy stuffing the last of the unrolled toilet paper into the flooded toilet! He pulled the handle and a surge of water blasted Pommy in the face!
Pommy noticed Bomberman and looked at him, covered in toilet water. Bomberman cringed; looking at that face was enough to make him want to vomit.
"Why did you flush all that paper?" asked a stressed Bomberman.
"You told Pommy to flush it when he's done with it."
"But that's too much paper!" steamed his teacher.
"Pommy will get it!"
The small animal leaped into the toilet and flushed himself, riding a torrent of water down the bowl. Bomberman tried to stop him but the water level had risen so high he could barely run. He reached the bowl a few seconds too late. He could only stare in horror as his little friend slid down the hole. He sat down in the water and took a moment to absorb what had happened.
Pommy was gone and he couldn't believe it. An eerie silence filled Bomberman's house as he stared off into space. Several moments passed, when the pipes of the house began to groan and rumble. The sink clanked and the toilet clunked. Bomberman heard this and stood up, bracing himself for what was about to happen. Just then, water burst up from the toilet, rising up to just under the ceiling.
A pink ball floated up through the stream and bounced around on the top of the fountain. Arms, legs, and ears appeared on the ball and revealed it to be Pommy!
"Pommy's back!" he cried, waving a handful of moist paper in the air.
"Oh Pommy" sobbed Bomberman "I'm so glad you're alright!"
Pommy floated down into Bomberman's arms and the two hugged.
"How about we go buy Biff a new friend?" he offered.
"Pommy likes that idea!"
As the two were reunited, the walls of the house began to crack. Bomberman watched as the walls slowly gave and screamed as a wall of water washed he and Pommy away. He held onto Pommy, the two of them screaming as they rode a torrent of water and debris from their former home. The torrent pushed them all the way out into the street where it finally subsided as it channeled into the sewer.
Bomberman stood up and set Pommy down, the two of them staring at the ruins of their house.
"We'd better call a plumber" the small animal chimed.
Bomberman just stared at Pommy, his eye twitching. From now on, the toilet was off limits to his little friend.