By: Albedosreqium / Soyna
Warnings and Genre:
Mature rated but really not as that bad.. Yaoi. Cid and Vincent. Cid being pissed at Vincent and Vincent being all emo….
After Dirge and Advent is all said and done.
All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted by the almighty Square Enix©.
For Abnormals birthday…Short little thing. Enjoy. She mentioned this theme once in passing. She tolerates my stalkerage so, so well. So I decided to write this.
Vincent just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. There are some things that Vincent does need to seek forgiveness for.
Vincent was trying to apologize to Cid. He had been trying for three weeks, ever since the unfortunate incident. He knew that he screwed up big time and he just really didn't know how to say how truly sorry he was.
He had said sorry every time he saw Cid but it was not enough for Cid and he really didn't blame him.
Vincent walked towards Cid. He was ready with a huge apology speech that he had practiced before he entered the control room.
The well meaning words vanished from his lips as soon as he saw the anger in Cid's eyes. His fury had not lessened one bit since that horrible day. Cid's glare was as hard as it was that horrible night that he was trying to apologize for. Vincent stopped walking. He had his golden hand reached forward but it remained suspended as if his whole body froze.
"I'm not talkin' to ya!" Cid snapped and turned on his heel. He waived over to a member of the crew to take over the helm of the ship. Vincent was left standing like a broken statue.
Vincent could only watch Cid go. He tried to make his feet move to follow him. He so desperately needed to tell him that he was sorry about the whole incident and to beg Cid to give him another chance.
He couldn't bare the thought of Cid not being part of his life anymore, and over another thing that he screwed up.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked over at the owner. It was Cloud. "Are you alright, Vincent?" The young blonde looked concerned and gave him an affectionate squeeze. The small comforting gesture meant nothing to him though. The only person he wanted that look from had just left the room.
"Cloud?" Vincent tried to keep his voice strong but he hated the sadness and desperation had seeped into it. He hated to admit that he had become quite dependant on Cid. It made it all the worse knowing that it was something that he did that caused their separation.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cloud asked in a near whisper. The crew that was in the room was looking at them curiously. They all wanted to know why they were dealing with the even more temperamental than usual Captain. It wasn't a secret to anyone that they were having a disagreement.
Vincent gave a slow blink and he let his shoulders slumped. "I don't know if it will help to talk about it." Vincent also was not sure he wanted too. What good would it do to relive another horrible mistake he had made in his life? It obviously had not helped him to resolve the issues with his past.
Cloud removed his hand from his shoulder and placed them on his hips. "Want to go for a drink?"
Vincent felt his shoulders sag as he looked at the younger man. He didn't drink that often for the fear of losing control of his demons. He had fought long and hard to make sure the ones that remained encased inside of him did not come free at the wrong moments.
He swallowed hard at the memory of the night that had ruined the life that he had worked so hard to rebuild. Letting his demons out would have been a better option than what had happened.
"So, what happened between you two?" Cloud finally asked. Vincent was feeling a little numb from the alcohol that he had consumed. His head was buzzing a little bit as he slouched against the bar. He claimed a bottle of rum from the waitress as soon as he walked in. It was nearly empty and clutched in his metal claw.
Vincent didn't want to answer Cloud. He let out a pathetic sounding sigh and watched as Cloud's blue eyes rolled back in his head. It was the first time that he realized that Cloud's eyes were about the same blue as Cid's, without the magical addition of mako, there eyes would be very similar.
"You two were an item, right?" Cloud said softly and gave him a concerned look. They had not really announced that they had been seeing each other but it wasn't like they kept it much of a secret either. Cloud must have picked up on the fact that they had been in a relationship.
Vincent raised his head to look directly at Cloud. "Yes." Vincent couldn't raise his voice much higher than a whisper. "In the past."
"What does that mean?" Cloud asked, looking down at his glass which only contained ice now.
"I made a mistake," Vincent said as he straightened his back. He didn't know why he was talking with Cloud. It was none of his concern and talking about something was not going to make it any better. He still made the mistake. He still hurt Cid. He still was alone and there did not seem to be a way to make it right.
"What happened?" Cloud waited for an answer.
"It's not something I wish to discuss," Vincent said. "It's a private matter." He hoped Cloud would leave it at that. Vincent was thinking about finishing off the rest of the bottle and hopefully then be able to forget the pain that was building in his chest.
Cloud sighed and swirled the ice in his cup. "It's hardly that private. You're moping around worse than usual. Cid is in a constant fury over whatever it is that happened. It would be best if you just got it out in the open so it can be dealt with."
Vincent mulled it over in his head. "It's a difficult topic to discuss."
"Just tell me what happened to get Cid in such a huff," Cloud asked getting a little frustrated at the evasion.
Vincent licked his lips and tried to think about how he was going to word it. How could he explain or have Cloud even understand what he had done and how wrong it had been.
"I said the wrong name," Vincent finally blurted.
Cloud furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side. He looked confused. Vincent didn't want to continue but he found the explanation coming out of him. "I spoke it at the most inopportune moment." He kept his voice low as he spoke and had to look away when he saw that Cloud understood what he was talking about.
It had been the worst thing he could have done at the worst instant.
It had been an intense moment. He had never been so happy that Cid had been willing to switch roles in their relationship. It meant a lot to him that he trusted him enough not to loose control of his demons while they were … intimate. It had been always something that he had feared.
He had always let Cid have the lead before. It was always safer to let the other man take control and be on top. He never could trust Chaos or the others not to want to take control and dominate the man, no matter how much he had desired it.
Cid had finally convinced him that he trusted him and his demons enough not to hurt him.
They had been only been worrying about physical pain.
Everything had been perfect. Cid had been pawing at his shoulders and had howled his name in release. Vincent had felt light headed and was over came with passion. He had screamed out a name, but it was of one that was no longer around.
He had controlled his demons but he had not controlled his pitiful old emotions and feelings, even though they no longer applied.
He had found himself pushed roughly off and onto the floor. Cid had quickly pulled his clothes on, cursing him the whole time.
All Vincent could do was mutter a pathetic, "I'm sorry," before he was left alone.
So very alone.
Cloud sighed. "Yeah. That's never good. Tifa kinda lost it and punched me into next week when I did that to her." Cloud rubbed his jaw as if he was remembering the punch.
Vincent stared at Cloud and blinked. "You did that to Tifa?"
Cloud slumped and his cheeks coloured. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his glass. "Yeah, it took her a little while to forgive me."
Vincent was almost relieved that he was not the only one that had done such an unforgiveable thing and he knew that Tifa had forgiven Cloud. The two fighters were still living together and he had heard rumours that they had been starting to plan on having a family of their own.
"How did you get her to forgive you?" Vincent asked as he brought the bottle to his lips. He needed to know how to get Cid to forgive him for calling the name of his past love but also the name of a woman.
"Begging profusely," Cloud said and let out a heavy sigh, "Flowers, chocolates, new fighting gloves, cleaning up the bar and cooking a million dinners." Cloud looked a little sheepish. "It took a long time."
"What do you think I could do to make Cid forgive me?" Vincent was desperate. He couldn't bear to loose another piece of his heart. The first piece lost because of the lack of his words and the second was because of a terrible choice of words.
He at least wanted the man to allow him to be close to him again, even if it was only so that he wouldn't hate him anymore.
Cloud shrugged. "I don't know if flowers and chocolates will do it for Cid." Cloud raised his glass to the bartender. "Gin and cigarettes? You may have your work cut out for you."
Vincent wanted to bash his head against the bar, but decided to finish the bottle in his hand instead.
"What the fuck?"
Cid looked at his room and was trying to comprehend what he was seeing. He was not very particular about how clean he normally kept his private quarters, but he wasn't a slob either. The room was almost shining. His bed had new linen's and it looked like the wooden floor was waxed. All his laundry was cleaned and put away and there was flowers sitting on his dresser.
Flowers - of all things.
He walked over to his dresser and looked at the strange bouquet. There was a small card sitting by the vase. Cid opened it and frowned. "Shoulda known." He crumpled the note and promptly shed his shirt and purposely threw it on the floor. He prepared to go to bed and tried not to think of the person that had cleaned his room and left him the note.
Cid woke in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs. It was only on Sunday that bacon and eggs were cooked in the ships kitchen. It was only Wednesday and they had porridge on Wednesdays.
There was a knock on the door. It was still too early for anyone to normally bother him. He shuffled out of bed and blearily went to the door. It was his second mate standing there, looking a little sheepish as he held a tray of food. "Vincent wanted me to make sure you got this. He cooked it himself."
He blinked at the food on the plate and examined the small note. He reached for the message. He read it, crumpled it and threw it on the food. "Not 'ungry." He closed the door on his second mate.
He was trying rather hard not to think about Vincent.
Cid left his room quite hungry. He refused to go to the kitchen and get something and went about checking on his ship as he normally would.
If Vincent thought that his pathetic little 'I'm sorry' notions were going to make him forgive him, he was surely mistaken. He was not going to be that easy to win over. It was going to take more than having his room cleaned and being made breakfast. Not after being called a woman's name while he let the man top. It was not something that he could easily forgive. Never mind that it was the most mind blowing sex that he had ever had, ruined by hearing a former lover's name being moaned out of Vincent's lips.
Cid distracted himself with the chores and tasks that needed to be done around his airship. And he had the unwelcome sight of Vincent trying to get his attention and forgiveness at every turn. The chocobo pens were cleaned and the birds were all groomed and fed. When he went for lunch there was a tray of roast beef and chicken salad sandwiches, as well as his favourite dessert.
He knew Vincent had his hand in that, even without the addition of the note.
He tried not to think about Vincent. His touch was evident everywhere even if there wasn't a note. By the time dinner came around he was not sure if he was flattered by the effort or upset.
Tifa was the one that saw him crumple another note and throw it over his shoulder. He didn't see her pick up the note and read it.
"What is this all about?" Tifa said and thrust the note at him.
"Nothin'." He was dying for a smoke and wanted to head to the upper deck but Tifa was in his way. He pulled out his pack of smokes and pulled out one, hopefully, to give her a hint.
"What happened?" She said. "I've seen Vincent being your hidden shadow all day."
"Nothin'," Cid responded. "Need ta have a smoke. Outta the way, Doll." Cid tried to move past her but she was very effectively blacking his way.
"You haven't talked to him in weeks," She said smoothing out the crumpled note in her fingers. "You can tell me what happened. Obviously he feels like he has to apologize for something."
Cid grabbed the note from her fingers. "Damn idiot has a hella lot ta apologize fer!" Cid crumpled the note again and held it in his fist. "I ain't no damn push over. A few little chores and meals ain't gonna make me bend over fer that ungrateful bastard fer what he did!"
Tifa raised her eye brows and Cid found himself blushing under her scrutiny. "Well, it looks like he is trying really hard to make up for whatever he did wrong."
"Well, I ain't that much of a pushover ta fall fer a laundered room and nice food," Cid said and clutched the note tighter in his hand. "And I ain't no girl, so gettin' me flowers ain't goona work."
Tifa's hand landed on his shoulder. "He's sorry," Tifa said, in a concerned tone. "We don't need Vincent to go crawling back into his coffin."
"I dun care," Cid snapped and rolled her hand off his shoulder. "He can go pine fer Lucrecia back in his pine box."
Tifa let out a sigh and squeezed his shoulder firmly. Cid winced under her grip. "Listen here, you crusty old man. You two are the best thing that you had for each other. If you are going to push him aside, he will go back into his coffin pining for you, not her."
She gave him a firm shove. "Think about that," she said and turned to leave him with new thoughts to contemplate when it came to Vincent.
Vincent stood on the deck staring out into space but not really seeing anything. He had done all the things that Cloud had mentioned and Cid didn't seem to be anything more than annoyed.
He was at a loss at how to ask for forgiveness. It had never been his strong point.
He cursed his fate for having lost all his loves because he couldn't get the right words to come out of his mouth.
He wondered why he had even bothered to accept the relationship with Cid in the first place. He didn't deserve happiness or to love another.
He deserved to be alone for all that he had done.
He smelled smoke. He sniffed and turned toward the familiar and comforting smell. Cid was down on the other side of the deck with his nightly smoke between his lips. Cid was standing stiffly and he was still looking angry.
Vincent couldn't help but stare at him and blink back emotions that he never thought he would feel again. His attempts at apologizing had been complete failures and he could think of nothing else he could do to make Cid realize he was sorry. He saw no reason to continue with his attempts. He had been at it for weeks and it was becoming painful at the constant rejection.
He had no other place to go but he knew that he couldn't remain here for much longer. Seeing Cid with that angry look on his face was unbearably painful.
Cid flicked his cigarette over the edge of the ship and started to walk towards him. Vincent couldn't look at him any longer. He turned his eyes back towards the surroundings and was suddenly aware that they had been approaching Kalm.
Cid's voice saying his name, hurt.
He turned to the man to see him and could feel that he was within easy reach and Vincent had to refrain from grabbing him to apologize. He just couldn't handle another rejection.
He could hear Cid shuffling his feet beside him. He felt arms wrapped around his waist and was thrilled to be pulled into a warm body that he had missed being near. He wrapped his arms around Cid and felt all the tension in his body leave as he pressed into him. Cid felt a bit tense still but at least he wasn't running away from him.
"Yer still gotta make things up ta me," Cid finally said after a moment. Cid buried his face into his shoulder.
"Of course," Vincent said simply and ran his gauntleted hand down Cid's neck. He knew Cid like that cool touch of his glove.
"Still mad at ya," Cid said, even though his voice didn't hold any anger.
"I don't blame you," Vincent said. "I'm truly sorry for hurting you."
Cid grunted but remained in the embrace. He could feel the Captain's rougher hands clench and unclench against his back. "I want breakfast in bed in the mornin'," Cid demanded.
"As you wish."
"Yer gonna be in charge of the chocobo pens," Cid said in a softer tone. "They've never been better taken care of."
"Of course," Vincent responded softly and continued the slow motion of his metal fingers against the warm skin. He knew from experience that there would be goose bumps forming along Cid's neck.
"And if yah mistake me fer a woman again, I'm gonna make yer get a fuckin' dress and wear it yerself," Cid grumbled against him.
Vincent snorted. "I could never mistake you for a woman."
Cid snorted. "Explain why the hell ya called me her name then?" Cid's body was tense again and Vincent hoped that he wasn't going to run from him again.
Vincent closed his crimson eyes. He could not explain why he had said her name. He had thought long and hard about it. "It's not because you are like a woman in any way."
"Fuckin' right," Cid grumbled.
"She's the only other person that I had ever cared as much for," Vincent whispered and stopped stroking the back of Cid's neck with his gauntlet. He felt Cid shiver and then pull away from him. Vincent released the man and wondered if he had said something wrong again. Was comparing how much he now cared for the sometimes obnoxious man to his past attachment, barring him from forgiveness? He didn't know how else to explain his emotions or his outburst. Vincent watched Cid pull out another smoke and place it between his lips. Cid lit the cigarette and stood silently; staring at him and smoking.
Cid's eyes were boring right into him and Vincent waited for him to say something.
His cigarette was nearly finished and Vincent felt as if the cigarette was a fuse and either the rejection or acceptance would be completed when it finally was snuffed.
"Fuck," Cid said as he flicked the smoke over the side of the airship. "Yer make it fuckin' hard ta remain pissed at ya."
Vincent hid a smile beneath his cloak and kept his crimson eyes on the Captain.
The brown leather clad hand reached forward and grabbed sharply onto his cape and pulled him into a rough and quick kiss. It took Vincent's breath away. He had never been so grateful to loose his breath this way.
"May still make yah wear a dress to make up fer it anyway," Cid said, and started to stalk away. Vincent remained where he was standing trying to control the flush that was on his cheeks and the revelation that he was forgiven for his transgression.
Before Cid disappeared down below deck, he turned and yelled. "I expect ta see yer skinny ass in my quarters after dinner!"
It felt good to be forgiven.
So… a little birthday fic for Abnormal…
SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY … and all that. Not very smutteth though…