I know this plots been done to death and then beaten with a wet noodle, but this wouldn't leave me alone. I know it's a little choppy, but Harry's world would be choppy...
Dirty Little Secret
Harry couldn't do it anymore.
He loved Snape, he really did, but he couldn't be his dirty little secret. Not anymore.
So he packed up what little possessions he had in Snape's rooms and with a final glance and a muffled sob, he turned from the room and headed back to his own.
He had given Severus four years of his life and he had nothing to show for it. No pictures, no mementos from silly trips. Not even any wilted flowers just because.
He dropped his bag to the floor before he dropped onto his bed and curled into a ball.
Severus was pushed into his rooms by a needy and demanding Draco Malfoy. Snape didn't put up much of a fight; he thoroughly enjoyed what the blonde could do with his tongue.
He didn't notice that there were clothes missing nor did he notice that there was no one in his rooms or that the irritating cat that had been in his rooms was gone.
As he pounded into the blonde's ass, he never even thought about the brunet that he had been with for several years.
It was several days before anyone saw Harry out of his rooms. Minerva had been very understanding and everyone seemed to believe that he was sick with the flu. It had been going around.
Severus never noticed.
Minerva, and several other teachers, glared at the oblivious man.
Harry had sat next to Remus at the table, as far away from Severus as he could get.
Remus furrowed his brow in confusion. Harry didn't smell right.
Over the next couple of weeks Harry felt off. He would feel nauseous at odd times and he could barely make it through the day without a nap.
Everyone's concern was growing, save for one man.
Severus was too busy trying to hide his relationship with Draco from everyone and Harry especially that he didn't notice that Harry wasn't around.
One afternoon about three weeks after Harry had walked out of Severus' life unnoticed he passed out in class. It had been a seventh year class so they knew what to do, and soon enough Harry was in the infirmary, Poppy, Minerva and Remus all with him.
He was two months pregnant.
It explained so much.
Oh gods, what the hell was he going to do?
He would carry this child to term and he would keep it and love it and it would want for nothing.
Harry had spent the last day searching for something, for one of his journals. Finally he sighed and accepted the fact that he had left it in Snape's rooms.
He decided to go for a walk to the kitchens before heading to Snape's rooms.
He was surprised that Severus hadn't changed the password.
There was an odd noise and he went to investigate.
All thoughts of his notebook vanished from his head as he watched Severus pound into Draco.
He turned and fled.
Severus walked into his rooms expecting to be assaulted by a cat and a familiar dark haired wizard.
He got neither.
His affair with Draco had fizzled after six days, like he knew it would but he had needed to get the blond out of his system. And now he had; now he could go back to his Harry.
It only took a few minutes for him to discover that Harry wasn't anywhere in his rooms and that he taken his clothing with him.
He frowned before he swept from his rooms and headed to Harry's rooms. He had insisted that the younger wizard keep them because he didn't think that Harry would still be around after four years.
Harry sat curled up with Remus in front of the fire that was blazing in the hearth.
He had his head in the older man's lap as they talked. He tried to forget about Severus and what he'd seen but the image was seared into his brain.
It was all he saw when he closed his eyes.
It haunted his dreams.
He loved Severus, Merlin knew why, but he did and nothing anyone said or did could change the way he felt about the older man.
Severus headed to the charms corridor, knowing that Harry would be in his office, or perhaps his rooms.
Harry had kept the rooms at Severus' insistence.
He had no idea why but he was glad he'd had somewhere to go where no one would see him cry his eyes out.
He had stayed in his private rooms off the charms corridor for a little while but he hated the silence and the radio hadn't helped much. So he'd moved in with Remus.
Remus, who'd been his shoulder to cry on and his punching bag and everything that Severus hadn't been.
He loved Remus, he really did, but the older man just wasn't Severus.
Severus was surprised that Harry's room was empty. There was nothing to suggest that anyone had been in this room for several weeks.
He frowned. What the hell was the brat up to?
He wandered for a while before he thought to ask Remus.
He was stood in front of Remus' door in the transfiguration corridor with his hand poised to knock.
Suddenly afraid of what Harry would say to him.
With a steadying breath he knocked on Remus' door.
'What the hell do you want, Snape?' Remus snarled as he practically ripped the door off its hinges.
Snape stepped back in surprise. He had thought that he and the wolf had been getting on better, apparently he'd been wrong.
'I was wondering if Potter was here,' he replied, trying to look into the room.
'Sorry, Snape, he isn't here,' Remus replied, slamming the door in his face.
For a moment, Snape could only stare at the door that was inches from his nose; he sighed and turned back to his rooms.
Even if Harry was there, Remus wouldn't let Snape anywhere near him.
'Remy?' Harry was watching the werewolf as he tried to calm himself.
'I'm sorry, Harry,' he began to ramble, 'I know you love him, but I didn't know if you wanted to see him and I didn't think I could stand to be with him in the same room without killing him.'
Harry launched himself at Remus, sobbing into the older man.
Remus closed his eyes and held the younger man tightly.
Harry was sitting with Ron, Hermione and Ginny as they ate dinner.
'So Harry, can we start dating again?' Ginny asked, sliding as close to Harry as she could.
'Give it up!' Harry snapped, 'I'm gay, you irritating twat! I don't like woman and I don't like you that way Ginny, you're like my sister.'
'You're single now,' Ginny insisted, running her hand up his leg.
'And pregnant by my ex-lover, get your hands off me,' he stood up so fast his chair fell over and several other patrons looked over in curiosity. He gave Ron and Hermione an apologetic look.
'You can get rid of it, start over with me,' she replied, following him out of the restaurant. Harry spun around and glared at Ginny while Ron was on his feet trying to pull his sister away from his friend and Hermione was simply beating the table into submission with her forehead. There wasn't much she could do with her seven month belly.
'You don't think about me, you don't look at me and you sure as fuck don't even talk to me, am I clear?' he snarled, causing Ginny to whimper in fear and back away.
He turned and stormed from the restaurant.
Hermione paid for dinner as Ron dragged Ginny from the restaurant.
'I am sorry,' Hermione said to the waiter as she paid for their meal, Ron was hissing to Ginny.
The waiter waved her off, 'we get some dramatic break up or revelation at least once a week,' he said, 'I hope your friend is going to be okay,' he added in concern.
Hermione offered him a sad smile, 'me too,' she said before she followed the others out.
Remus looked up from his papers when Harry slammed the door.
'Harry?' he asked softly.
'That fucking leech...' he was still seething from what Ginny had said.
Remus caught Harry as he passed by him, 'use your words,' he requested with a have smile.
Harry took a deep breath and dropped onto the couch, pulling Remus with him.
'During dinner, she started flirting with me, again and I told her to essentially fuck off but she still wouldn't listen, she said that I could kill it and start again with her,' he blinked furiously, chocking on his words.
'Oh,' he couldn't think of anything else to say so he simply held the younger man tightly.
Severus had taken to watching Harry every since Remus had slammed the door in his face.
The younger professor was different, he seemed lighter, not happier but like he didn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders anymore.
He still looked worried and he caught the younger man giving him wistful looks every so often.
He hadn't realized till Harry was gone that he would miss him, he did, very much, and Severus very badly wanted to touch, to feel, to experience his... his what?
'I'm going to talk to him,' Harry announced as he pulled a thick cloak around himself. He hated the cold and the dungeons were always colder than the rest of the school.
'You sure, Pistachio?' Remus asked, using the affectionate name for the young man.
Harry nodded, 'he needs to know, I need to talk to him. I still love him,' he added with a sigh.
Remus nodded, 'I'll be here,' he said hugging the younger man.
Harry let out a steadying breath before he knocked on the familiar portrait door.
'Come in,' Severus replied absently.
Harry stood in front of Severus in silence for several minutes, waiting for the older man to stop his marking long enough to look at him.
'What?' the potion master snapped as he finally looked up.
'Harry!' he breathed in surprise.
'Severus,' Harry nodded.
'Why did you leave?' Severus asked. He still had no idea that Harry had walked in on him and Draco.
Harry blinked at Severus in surprise for a full minute before his anger exploded from him.
'I left because you treated me like I was nothing. Like I was just some hole for you to shove your dick into to get off whenever you got horny. Four fucking years I gave you Snape and you fucking repay me by fucking Draco Malfoy!' he shouted, he ranted about this to Remus and Ron and Hermione but he'd had yet to confront the man responsible.
Severus looked like he was going to defend himself but Harry continued on, 'I loved you! I still fucking love you, fuck knows why but I do and I thought that one day maybe you would change. Maybe you would love me back. That one day, when I would tell you "I love you" that you would say it back. Instead of rolling over and ignoring me or saying "I know" or making that odd noise that means you're acknowledging something but you aren't agreeing to it or denying it.
'And then I find you with your cock shoved up Draco fucking Malfoy's ass? How long have you been fucking him?' he asked.
'How fucking long?' he demanded, his fury crackling around him.
'He didn't mean anything Harry,' Severus began.
'How long, damn it?'
'It only lasted the one week,' he replied.
'How often?' Harry demanded.
'I just told you, one-' Severus started, sounding like he was talking to someone very slow.
'No, how often did you meet for a week of sex?' Harry clarified.
'It was just the once,' Severus replied cautiously.
Harry sneered, 'whatever, the reason I came down here was to tell you that I was, that I am pregnant. Congratulations, you're going to be a father. This doesn't mean that we're getting back together or anything foolish like that, it just means that should you deem our child worthy then you may see them as often as you would like to. You don't have to support me, that isn't what I want, but should you feel you need to, you may support him,' he stated, his hand rubbing his now obvious bump.
Severus was speechless for the first time, in possibly, ever.
Harry eyed Severus before he turned and left the office.
It took Severus several minutes before he realised that Harry was gone, he flew to the door but Harry was nowhere in sight. He closed the door and leaned against it, slowly sliding to the floor.
What had he done?
Harry felt calmer then he had in a long time.
He felt so much more relaxed as he lay with his head in Remus' lap as the older man ran his hand through the younger man's hair as he read to him.
They were going through essays, and they were terrible.
They were having some good laughs.
'Merlin, I hope mine weren't this bad?' Harry laughed.
'Oh, no, yours were much worse,' Remus replied with his own chuckle.
'Oi!' Harry protested, as he sat up indignantly, 'I had Hermione!'
'That's why your essays were so dry,' Remus commented dryly.
'Thank you,' Harry blurted suddenly, hugging the older man.
Remus just held the younger man, relishing his smell and his heat.
Severus tried, several times, to talk with Harry over the next few weeks but every time he tried, he couldn't find any words.
Every conversation went the same.
'Potter, may I have a word?' he would ask emotionlessly.
Harry would sigh softly, 'yes,' he would reply sadly, giving Severus those puppy eyes that were full of pain and betrayal and humiliation and confusion and sadness.
'I just... what I mean is that... I...' as he babbled, Severus would fidget with his sleeve, his wand, a quill or whatever he happened to have in his hand.
Harry would slump even more into himself and rub his slowly expanding belly.
'I'm sorry, I have to go,' Severus would finally blurt, leaving Harry standing alone, wherever they happened to be. Often times it was Severus own office.
Severus would spend the next several days beating himself up mentally and verbally before he would try again, while Harry would go back to Remus' and his rooms, sometimes he would sob himself to sleep other times he would rant and rave in anger about the other man, and sometimes, the times that Remus liked best would be when Harry would come in and just settle beside him, often falling asleep with his head in Remus' lap.
It had been several months since Harry had left Severus and while Harry had had his say, Severus still didn't know what to say to Harry to win him over or get him back or just get him to talk to him.
Severus watched as Harry grew and he longed to hold Harry, to fell the life in him move.
He was envious of Remus, who got to talk with Harry, to the infant in Harry. He was jealous of Remus, who got to touch Harry, to feel the babe that was growing in him.
He was losing Harry and he had no idea what to do about it.
Harry was stuck in the bath.
Damn it! He really should have gotten that bar. He had no idea he wouldn't be flexible anymore.
Well maybe it wasn't the flexibility thing, maybe it had to do with the fact that he was carrying twins!
'Moony!' he shouted again.
'I'm here, what?' Remus came rushing into the bathroom, drying his hands on a small towel.
'Help,' Harry stated flatly, holding up his arms like a toddler.
'Oh, Harry,' Remus tried not to smile, but Harry was too cute for his own good sometimes.
'Shut up,' Harry growled, the sound going straight to Remus' cock, a fact he tried to hide.
Remus scooped Harry out of the tub like he weighed nothing. Damn werewolf strength.
When he set Harry in his feet they both seemed to realize just how close they were.
Harry turned a deep pink, and Remus ran his fingers over the blush.
'So beautiful,' he whispered.
And then they were kissing. Heated, passionate, hungry kisses that consumed the soul.
Remus pulled away first, horrified at what he'd done, 'I'm sorry,' he whispered, trying to get out of Harry's clutches.
'No,' Harry stated before he buried himself in Remus and sobbed, his fists bunched in Remus' shirt.
'It's okay,' Remus muttered as he rubbed the smooth back of the younger man. He managed to get a towel to wrap around the younger man.
'I'm sorry,' Harry muttered, all the while cursing the friggin' hormones that were coursing through his system, unchecked.
Remus muttered to the younger man as he guided him to the bedroom and got him dressed in some comfortable clothing before settling him on the bed.
'I don't know what to do,' Harry blurted when he was calmed slightly by the laced tea Remus gave him.
'What to do about what?' Remus asked, knowing full well that the brunet was struggling with.
Harry sighed and ran his hands through his still damp hair.
'Despite everything he's done to me I still love him, but,' Harry gave him a watery smile, 'I'm falling in love with you too,' he whispered, barely loud enough for Remus to hear.
Remus almost started dancing around the room, almost.
He'd been in love with the younger man for quite some time. His failed relationship with Tonks just one of the ways he'd tried to get over Harry.
It hadn't worked.
He placed a tender, chaste kiss to Harry's lips, it was enough to leave the younger man breathless, and as he wiped the tears from Harry's cheek, he gave him a small smile, 'no matter what you decide, I will always be here for you, I will always be yours. I love you, 'Stachio, I have for a long time and I have no intention of ever stopping.'
Harry buried himself in Remus' shoulder and just held onto the older man.
Remus was everything that Severus wasn't. He was open and honest. He talked to Harry instead of at him and he took care of him instead of just himself.
Harry wasn't an afterthought. He was Remus' whole thought.
They didn't tell anyone in their change of status but people slowly started to figure it out.
Hermione was first. She always had been too clever for her own good.
Harry was on bed rest, he was bound to pop any second and Remus had settled Harry on the couch for the visit and Hermione had noticed the lingering touches and the shy smiles.
She had grinned to herself and squeezed Harry's hand.
And Harry knew that Hermione knew and she just wanted him happy.
And he was, much happier then he'd been in a long time. He'd been happy with Snape once, back when he'd thought the potion master had loved him back.
Remus and Hermione gave him worried looks but, when he caught those amber orbs, he smiled, a small but genuine smile. As much as he loved and missed Severus, he loved Remus too.
And the other man wasn't second best. Or the runner up. Or anything like that.
No, Remus seemed to be the One, like he'd thought Snape had been.
Next had been Ginny.
She'd come to try her like with Harry again, but with seeing Remus as he helped Harry walk from their rooms to the infirmary, she'd burst into tears and hugged Harry.
'I've been such a fool, I'm sorry Harry,' she cried, begging him.
'Only because I've gone into labour,' Harry had replied, causing Remus to snort.
'You might want to come back later, Miss Weasley,' Remus offered without taking his attention from Harry.
She kissed his cheek softly, 'I'm sorry and good luck,' she offered, before she left the pair alone.
It had hit Ron and Remus at the same time.
Granted Remus had been there for the initial conversation but, still, when Harry had named his youngest son Collin Remus he had been floored. Collin was a Celtic name meaning cub, so Harry had declared him Remus' cub.
Ron had simply grinned and wanted to know if he could hold his nephew.
Severus had been outside the infirmary listening to Harry and Remus and the gaggle of visitors that Harry had to deal with.
He hadn't been able to go in. He had sired those two beings, Collin Remus and Orion Severus, but he didn't know if he would be their father. He wanted to but he had barely spoken to Harry at all.
Even before Harry had left him Severus had barely spoken to Harry.
He hid in the shadows as everyone save for Remus was booted from the infirmary.
'Are you coming in?' Remus startled Severus from his thoughts. He didn't wait for a reply, as he turned back to rejoin Harry in the cooing over the two new infants.
Severus watched the pair, feeling awkward for the first time in a very long time, possible ever.
Harry glanced up at Severus and gave him a soft welcoming smile. It was hard to be mad at someone who had given him the two beautiful boys in his arms.
'Come and meet your sons,' Harry said, moving to make more room on the bed.
Severus moved cautiously, almost as if he was afraid that he would scare someone, either Harry or the boys, if he moved too fast and sat on the edge of the bed.
'Remus has got Collin James Remus,' Harry offered with a smile to the man, 'and this,' he said as he placed the blue bundle into Severus' arms, 'Is Orion Severus Evan,' he offered with a smile.
Severus stared down into the unseeing baby blue eyes of Orion and what the hell had made him fuck up his relationship with Harry so badly.
Harry had just gotten the hell spawn, or rather CJ and Ori, to bed.
When it wasn't one it was the other.
But he wasn't going to dwell on it because they were both, finally, asleep. He collapsed onto the sofa for his own nap when there was a tentative knock on the door.
'I've just but the boys down for their nap,' he stated as he opened the door to Severus.
'Good, I've come to talk with you,' Severus replied, 'may I come in?'
Harry started at the other man for a moment before he stepped aside.
Severus stepped in and hesitated. He'd been in their apartments before but this time it was different.
He took a steadying breath and captured Harry's hands in his.
'I am so sorry, Harry,' he began, 'I don't know what I thought I was doing. At first, when it was all so new it was so good,' Harry smile softly, it had been good. They spent more time in bed talking then doing anything else and Harry had talked about going into crafting and Severus was always going on about this new potion or that elixir. And it had been so exhilarating, because no one really new about them. They hadn't been hiding, they just hadn't told anyone.
As other people began to find out and more people wanted Harry's crafts Severus began to fade to the background.
'I was afraid, and jealous, all of these people were after you and I figured that it would only be a matter of time before you found someone younger, someone better looking, someone who was not me and I was just waiting for you to leave me.'
Harry opened his mouth to protest but Severus held up a hand, 'I know, I know you've been with me for four years but I don't know why. You could have anyone you wanted and I don't know why you chose me. So instead of you making a fool of me, I made a fool of myself, I ruined the best thing to happen to me and I promise you, that one week with Draco was the only time I strayed. He'd been trying to get to me for years and I kept turning him down because I had you. I don't know why I finally caved, but I wish I hadn't. He wasn't you. I love you Harry, I know I've never said it or given you any reason to believe that lately, but I do.
'I've probably lost you to Remus but I won't give up on us. I want to be a part of your life, a part of our son's lives. Please, don't shut me out,' he finished with a plea.
Harry gave Severus a small smile, 'There's the man I fell in love with,' he said softly. He cupped the older man's cheek softly, 'I do still love you Sev, but right now, I can't be with you,' he replied.
Severus blinked furiously, swallowing his tears, he knew it would hurt, but he didn't know it would hurt this much to lose the one bright spot in his life.
Harry gave a soft kiss to Severus' lips, 'I just need some time Sev, and you're always welcome to visit CJ and Ori whenever you like,' he offered.
'Can you give these to the boys?' Severus asked, pulling out two plush toys, a panda and a white tiger.
Harry pushed the toys back to Severus, 'why don't you come back in a few hours and give them to them yourself?' he offered with a small smile.
Severus nodded as he pocketed the toys as he turned to leave.
Harry grabbed Severus wrist to stop him, 'I mean it Severus, you can always come see the boys whenever you want to,' Harry insisted, 'they're your sons too.'
Severus nodded, 'Thank you,' he replied, looking a little less down.
'See you later,' Harry offered.
'Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!' Harry was accosted by a small bundle of energy.
'Ori! Ori Ori!,' Harry mimicked as he hoisted the three year old up into his arms.
'Papa gave Da a potion and now he's a wolf!' he blurted out as Harry carried him to the basement, where there was the sound of a fight.
CJ was standing at the top of the stairs, looking into the basement fearfully.
'Thank Merlin your home!' Hermione blurted as she came running out of the basement, 'Severus thought he'd finished the potion, so he gave it to Remus and I was just dropping off the boys a little early and I have no idea what happened Harry,' she babbled, a habit she'd picked up from Harry.
He set Ori down next to CJ, 'stay here with Aunt Hermione, okay?' he asked the boys, who both nodded.
He glanced at Hermione who nodded.
With a deep breath Harry headed down to the Severus' basement lab.
What he found wasn't a fight, at least not the kind of fight he'd been expecting.
There was a large auburn wolf circling Severus who was crouched on one of the tables. Several cauldrons lay around on their sides around the room, their contents spilling on to the floor.
Harry sat on the bottom step, 'so, uh, what happened?' he asked.
Severus glared at Harry like it was his fault, 'I successfully finished the elixir but this is what happened.'
'So he shouldn't be a wolf?' Harry asked.
'No, he shouldn't be,' Severus replied with a glare.
That's when Remus, as a wolf bound over to Harry and licked his face.
'Don't snot on me,' Harry laughed.
'Sure he tried to maul me but he likes you,' Severus replied, moving to sit on the edge of the desk.
'That's because he can smell the feline in you,' Harry grinned cheekily, as he moved to Severus, who snorted. It had been a running joke that even though his form was canine, he was more feline-esque in his behaviour.
Harry raised an eyebrow before giving Severus a soft peck before becoming a fluffy white Samoyed.
He was pounced on suddenly and they play fought for a few minutes before Remus was trying to mount Harry.
Severus groaned; stupid horny wolf. He watched the pair as Harry readily submitted to the large wolf.
A few moments later, the pair lazed on the floor in satisfaction.
'Come on, you should get up, Cub and Pup are worried about you,' he stated as he moved to the stairs.
Cotton and Moony bolted up the stairs passed Severus, who was assaulted by the sound of manic giggling.
The canines were licking the twins.
'Thank you, Miss Granger, I apologize for the worry we've caused,' Snape offered the startled young witch.
Hermione nodded before she was abruptly guided to the floo.
Later that night the three men sat in the living room, having just put the twins to bed.
Remus straddled Severus and kissed him softly.
'Thank you,' he whispered before diving in for a more passionate kiss.
Severus was startled for a moment before his hands slid up under Remus' shirt.
Harry moaned watching them.
He could watch them all day. He let them have their time, because this was Remus thanking Severus. He would have his own time with both men but they wouldn't have it. It was Severus who pulled him close.
'I love you,' Severus whispered, 'both of you and the boys so much, and I can never tell you how much I do and how glad I am that you've let me in,' he whispered against Remus.
'I love you,' Remus replied with a grin and a kiss for both Severus and Harry.
Harry gave both older men lingering kisses, 'love you,' he replied, pulling them both into their bedroom.
So let me know what you think!
Truth Seer, if you're reading this, I'm not ignoring you, I just can't reply back to you!