I know this is probably a bad time to start a new story, with 3 other multi-chapters that I haven't finished, but I really wanted to do this after watching Beck's Big Break. :)) This is supposed to be continuations of each episode with Bade- they can be inspired by the ending of the episode, or even just a line said by one of the characters. This is is the Pilot, which I though really didn't end on a good note for this ship, so therefore this one is a bit more angsty than normal (I'm planning on more on them being humorous).
Disclaimer: If I owned Victorious, Tori wouldn't look at Beck twice.
How. dare. he. I hate him. I hate her. Who would have ever thought that Trina Vega's (of all people) little sister would be the one to take Beck from me.
"I knew what will make you feel better." I'm sure you do.
"Jumping jacks?" Oh, you naive little boy.
"Kiss me," Idiot girl, I'm still in the room, if you haven't noticed.
"Little weird, but let's do it!" He could have said, "Little weird, so let's not do it!" But he liked her too much.
And so they leaned in. Both of them. Smirking, knowing I was watching.
"Oh, Jade, you're so naive. You're the only girl for me," he had told me, not even a week ago. Cliché, but I fell for it. I believed him, and this is what he does.
I repeat, I hate him. I hate that smirk on his face as he leaned in. I hate the innocent look on his face when he was talking. I hate the ignorance of my presence that he showed.
As soon as they broke apart, everyone broke out into cheers- including Sikowitz. Suddenly, I hated everyone in the room. The radiation of happiness and celebration was too much.
Did anyone realize I was sitting right here?
The most I could do was run.
The tears forming in the corners of my eyes were threatening to fall, and soon, so I sprinted through the hallway, picked a janitor's closet, slammed the door shut, and slid down to the floor with my already damp face in my hands.
I stayed there all day. No one bothered to come looking for me.
I hate this weakness. Crying. It's such a scoff-worthy act. It's something that Jade West doesn't do. These emotions were all so new to me.
Why her? Of all girls at this school, I have no idea why he would pick her. It's an insult to me that he feels Tori is more appealing than I am.
Sure, there were girls that would prance right up to him every week or so, but they're always scared off. By me.
They all run off, sobbing, and crying their eyes out, as though they had had their hearts broken.
I would scoff at them. Heartbreaking happened to the weak only. No one else.
And yet there's a hole in my chest. Stupid irony.
The final bell rung. I could hear the shuffle of kids feet, the shouts of relief that 'prison' was over, the giggling of gossiping girls who were reunited after class.
They all disgusted me. Every single one of them. None of them understand pain. Not like I do, sitting in this stupid closet all day, trying to pull myself together.
My parents always told me they loved me. And then my dad took off one night, leaving my drug-induced mom behind. I thought I understood what it felt like already. But it was nothing like this.
I wish the more confident side of my conscience would help me out, with something like, 'Hell, I'm Jade West. I don't need any of them.'
But it never came, and I was left to sit here in silence.
Until, I heard the faint call of my name.
"Jade?" I could hear knocking on the other side of the door, then a jingling sound.
I pressed my back harder against the door. I felt so vulnerable, another emotion I was new to.
Why didn't I want to confront him? Oh right, I was scared.
Despite my attempts to keep the door closed, it cracked open eventually, the space large enough for him to squeeze in.
He stared at me, the janitor's keys clutched in his hand. The same hand that was clutching the back of her head a few hours ago, while his lips were attached to hers.
I closed my eyes quickly; I didn't want to see him.
I didn't want his sympathy, his pity, his apologies. I wanted him to leave me alone.
Instead, he began by talking about her.
"Tori and I were worried about you today."
Really? The tears were threatening to make their presence again.
I opened my eyes just as quickly as I had closed them, but kept them to the floor, and before he could say some other idiotic statement, I stalked out of the closet, where the Tuesday throng of after-school people had vanished.
"Jade!" he called after me. I didn't turn around- I didn't want to. The way he desperately shouted, even though he had his eyes on another 'piece of arm candy' since the Talent Showcase, sickened me.
I swiveled around just as he touched my arm.
"I trusted you!" I shouted to his face. "I trusted that you didn't like her, that you weren't into her, and you kiss her?" Tears had started to pour down my face again.
"No, no, Jade, it was just a scene. Just an improv game. I promise." He stared deep into my eyes, but I wasn't falling for his stupid acting again.
Promise. I recoiled from his touch. "Never say that word to me again," I snarled.
"Which word? C'mon, please, Jade, I don't even li-"
"Then why, why would you agree to kiss her? I can think of one million other sentences starting with 'L' that you could've used to reject her offer!" my sentence came out garbled, with my voice mixed with the strangled sobs I was unwillingly letting out. But the message came out crystal clear to him.
"I'm sorry," he trailed off. That's all he could say. He didn't even have a reason as to why he was.
I brushed the drops of water spread out across my cheeks off, and said one final word to him. "Bye," and strode away dramatically.
"I just wanna let you know..." he began again, "that I'd rather kiss you than Tori Vega any day." What a horrible last-minute attempt to lure me back in. I didn't respond to his line, I just kept walking. And I knew he was still standing there in that empty hallway.
But I didn't care. Because he never meant a word he said.
I don't know what drove me here. To this place. Of all places. But I had to. I subconsciously got into my car and drove. And when I woke up, I was here.
Beck's RV was pretty much every teen guy's dream. It was a method to avoiding parents, and you could always have privacy.
Pacing in front of it, I wasn't sure what to do. Obviously, I could drive away. Or I could knock on the door.
So I took the easy choice.
I drove away.
Lunch was the hardest part about the next day. I couldn't sit with anyone. Because Tori Vega's more desirable than I am.
Cat was the only one who offered to sit by me; I shooed her away though. I didn't need the bipolar randomness she would throw into the conversation out of nowhere.
I pretended not to notice the entire group laughing. The only one who didn't seem to be having a good time was Beck. He occasionally glanced at my table, but I pretended to be engrossed in my non-veg burrito instead.
As the bell rang, I got up from my table and cleared everything off. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. But I kept moving along. It was the only way to distract myself.
Beck tried to talk to me during Science, because the teacher always read the newspaper and assigned ten pages of questions to do every class period.
Because I ignored him, he did it the old-fashioned way: he passed a note to me.
Meet me in the janitor's closet after class is over.
I didn't even have to ask which closet.
I don't even know myself anymore. I'm actually standing outside the janitor's closet, waiting for him.
It's just like last time. Tears will be falling soon if he doesn't show up. Which I know he won't.
"Jade," his voice has a mixed tone of relief and happiness.
I merely glared at him, in fear that if I responded, my voice would crack.
"I really am sorry," he told me gently.
But I only stared at the polished floor determinedly.
"Jade!" he tilted my head upward, but not forcefully. "I miss you! Can't you get it through your head that I love you?"
He loves me. As if.
So instead of saying anything, reacting by kissing him or shrieking with joy like any normal teenage girl would do, I simply did what I did best. I strode away.
And although I tried not to concentrate on it, I heard weeping sounds behind me.
Tori Vega actually went up to me to apologize the next day. But the bloody annoyance that she is, she still couldn't manage to salvage a proper sorry to me.
Taking my (now) usual seat in the lunch area, I glanced at the table behind me. Two people were missing: Beck, and her.
Probably making out in the janitor's closet.
And that was the thought that made me break down again. That one image of them kissing flashed through my head again, and I just broke through all the defensive barriers I set up for myself, so no one would ever know there was a softer side to Jade. A side I didn't even know existed until last week.
Suddenly, a figure's shadow blocked my sun, and a familiar figure took a seat next to me.
"Why are you being so defiant?" was the first thing he asked.
"What do you want, André?" I questioned, rearranging my expression so I looked more annoyed than emotionally deteriorated.
"He skipped school today, you know Jade," he told me.
"Don't talk about him," I snapped, even though I was partially interested in what he had to say. "Isn't he with your new friend?"
"Nope," he answered dutifully. "She's inside, eating lunch with Sikowitz. She feels just as sorry, you know."
"I don't care."
"Just go away! I don't need anybody to help me! I can deal with this problem on my own!" Every word that just came out of my mouth wasn't true.
But he obstinately stayed seated. "No, you can't. And we both know that."
Since when did André become Dr. Phil?
"Look, I know you're mad at him. But it was a stage kiss. Nothing happened or is happening between Tori and Beck," he continued. "I know it does hurt, but acting always comes with a cost. That's one of the few things they don't really teach us here," he was (unfortunately) right.
The thing is, it was a heavy cost to pay.
But I guess I had to deal with it. Because, hell, I'm Jade West.
I was here again. The RV that brought back so many memories. The flood of vivid recollection caused my lip to tremble with sadness. A week ago, I would have scoffed at this. But a lot can happen in a week.
Before I could knock, the door swung open, almost hitting me in the face.
We just stared at each other. Then, for the first in what felt like years, I said to him, "I'm sorry."
And just like that, he leaned in.
Yeah, I think it's more angsty than my usual style, but it was pretty fun to write. I love Jade, she's an amazing character, and probably my favorite out of the entire Victorious cast (2nd is Cat!)
None of the next ones will be as 'deep,' and not all of them will be in Jade's POV. Thanks for reading!
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