Kako Mo Ima Mo Mirai Mo Kakenukero
Mirai II and One Half: Aftermath (Shiota Hirokazu)


Ugh...

...What the...hell happened...last night?

I'm in a bed...I know that. I've still got my eyes closed, I don't want to open them...My head is pounding...

...Okay...Think back...What...did you do last night, Hirokazu? You haven't gotten this drunk in a long time... ...Or possibly ever... I-I don't know...

I...remember sake...Lots and lots of...sake...

...Oh, right...Takato's cousin... ...Yeah, we were...At a bar, he said he could outdrink me, Okinawans are the better drinkers. I took offense...Well, not really, but I was up for a challenge...

...Oh, SHIT! How much did I drink? I-I don't remember anything past that!

...I...I'm probably at home, Kenta probably dropped me off and... ...Yeah...That's...That's it... I'll just roll over and sleep this off.

I shift in the covers to try to go back to sleep. W-Wait...Am...Am I...Naked?

...I-I think I am...

...Yeah...Definitely...I just...um...checked...

...Maybe I should open my eyes now...

...It's...dark...Not that this headache is helping me see anything in what little light there is...

I see a digital alarm clock on the nightstand next to me. There's...someone next to me in the bed... I-I can hear...breathing, y-yeah...I can't believe...I didn't notice that before.

Am I...in a motel?

It has to be...There's barely any light, but...Yeah, this is a motel room. I can tell just...by the layout I can see.

Okay, motel...naked...someone in bed next to me...

...I guess losing a drinking contest to Kai isn't all bad. Hehehe... ...W-wait...I-I don't...I don't remember...! WH-WHO THE HELL IS THIS? ...Oh, SHIT! What the hell did I do? Who is this! It...It could be some hooker- ...No, I-I would never pick up a hooker no matter how drunk I was...

...Would I?

I get out of bed, quietly...I find my pants and put them on...Thank the Gods...My cell phone is still in my pocket...And wallet, can't forget that. Wallet's there, I'll make sure I still have my cash in a minute.

...I was...I was with Kenta...at the bar, yeah...What the hell, Kenta? You let me go off with some woman? It'd...better be someone I know! ...I mean... ...Actually, Kenta wouldn't let me do this even if it was someone I knew. Did...Did I ditch him or something? Did we have...a fight? ...N-No, I mean...He's Kenta, he's my best friend! I-I would never...But...

...I-I don't,...I don't know... Kenta... ...Did I say or do something to piss you off? And...that's why...?

...Crap, I gotta call him...

I reach for my cell phone, the light from the display screen hurts my eyes...This is going to be a bad hangover...I find him in my contacts and hit talk...I don't care if it's three in the morning...Kenta! I NEED YOU! NOW!

"...Gokigen na chou ni natte..." ...I-I know that ringtone...

A cell phone goes off on the other nightstand, my...um..."Bunk mate" reaches for it, they get it after one or two unsuccessful attempts.

"...Kirameku kaze ni notte..."

"...Hello?" ...Kenta...are you in...the same room as I am?

"...Kenta?"

"Hiro-chan? ...Why are you calling me...You're...like..." K-Kenta...KENTA rolls over in the bed, looking over to me. "...Five feet away..."

I drop my cell phone, my eyes HAVE to be bulging out of my head. "...Kenta...what the hell happened last night?" Suddenly...I feel less hungover and more... ...Scared. Shitless. ...The headache is sort of...not really there but still there, you know?

...Why was I naked?

"...Um..." Kenta turns on the lamp. H-He's...

...Please...PLEASE tell me he's wearing something under the covers...

...I-I didn't...Please, don't tell me...

"...You might want to sit down..." Kenta looks away.

"...Did...Did...Did...Did...Did..." That's...all I can say.

Kenta just nods. "Um...D-Don't get the wrong idea...You were...actually really insistent on it and...um..." He's bright red. "...Check your...pocket..."

"What?"

"Just...do it...Trust me..."

I reach into my pockets, there's...a note, written on the motel stationary... I look at it. It's...written in sloppy, I'm guessing drunken, handwriting...

Dear Sober Me
Kenta's awesome!
Love Hirokazu

"...What the hell?" This...makes the situation even more confusing...

"I kept saying 'no, you're drunk, it's the three gallons of sake talking' and...You wrote a note for your 'sober self' to remind you it was...your idea... And... ...Um..." Kenta's bright red. "I-I wasn't...I wasn't all that sober, either... And, well...After the note you..."

"I...what?"

"...You kissed me. Like, nothing at all likeyour occasional forehead kiss. It was like...Um... ...Let's just say...you're...ONE HELL of a kisser, Hirokazu. I mean... W-Wow..." ...Is it wrong...I'm...actually sort of glad to hear that? I'm still...shocked and...scared and...Everything but...

...I'm one hell of a kisser!

...

DAMN IT THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT HELPING LIKE IT NORMALLY WOULD! NOT EVEN A LITTLE!

...I...I slept with...Kenta... ...My best friend... ...Who...loves me...A lot...

...And...I know it was probably my idea...

"...Holy shit..." I stumble forward and onto the bed. "...Um...Can we...not tell anyone about this? Ever. Like...take this to the grave and...not tell our fellow ghosts?"

"Um...Jen might know."

"Why Jen?"

"He called you in the middle of it...You answered your phone and said, 'Can't talk. Bangin' Kenta.' Then hang up."

"...Are you...serious?" ...I-I...said...THAT...to Jen? ...A-And...I was...actually...doing that, too...?

...Holy shit...

"...Yeah, um, you...really said that," Kenta nods. "Um...Hirokazu...Are you sure you're...?"

"YES!" ...Ninety-percent sure, at least...

"...Just checking..."

"..I gotta call Jen..." I go to get my phone and dial Jen's number. Again, I don't care how early it is.

Jen picks up after five rings. "...Hirokazu, why the hell are you-"

"IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!" I scream.

"...What?"

"I wasn't...really..."

"...Hirokazu, I...laughed before, you were...obviously...jok...ing... ...Holy shit..."

"N-No! No holy shit! No! It. Didn't. Happen. Jen. Rya."

"Holy...shit... ...Um...Wow...Just...Wow..." Jen's...trying not to laugh. I'm...trying to figure some way to reach into the phone and strangle him on the other end. Sorry, Takato, your boyfriend must die to protect this secret! YOU CAN HAVE KENTA! "...Are you...two...Um...An item now?"

"No! I'm not...!"

"...Are you sure about-"

"YES!"

"Okay, okay, okay...Sorry, but...Holy shit...Is Kenta there? I want to congratulate him."

"NOT. FUNNY!"

"...You sure?"

"Jen! PLEASE!

"O-Okay, just...just calm down...What happened?"

"...I-I...slept with Kenta, what the hell do you think happened?"

"...I mean...w-what led up to..." Jen, you bastard, stop laughing! "...sleeping...with...K-KENTA...! S-Sorry, Hirokazu, but...Y-You know...You know how Ruki always joked this would happen..." ...Ruki, you psychic bitch...

"...It involved a lot of sake." I say, dryly. "I'm going to kill Kai."

"H-Hirokazu...After Kai beat you, you...Um...You and Kenta just went bar hopping."

"W-We did?"

"Yeah, I mean...You lost the contest, you puked...But...After about an hour and some nachos you were...You were ready to hit the town again, we couldn't talk you out of it. Kenta volunteered to 'escort' you."

"...How drunk was he?"

"Um...Really drunk..." Jen says. "When you two left...If Takato and I didn't have to carry Kai home, we'd have kept an eye on you...Ruki and Ryou said they lost sight of you around ten."

I hear Kenta sobbing behind me... ...Kenta, I don't...I don't blame you. "...I see..."

"Any...memory at all?"

"H-Hold on...It's...kinda coming back to me..." I think... It's a little fuzzy but...It's sort of coming back...

...Y-Yeah, we went to...a karaoke bar. We sang Otoko Shibuki...Then, um...Kenta and I sort of ordered drinks for each other. Kenta kept ordering me the gayest things he could think of, I mean, even by HIS standards gay drinks...And I was ordering...I know some hard liquor was involved... ...stronger than...what he ordered for me... A lot stronger. And a lot stronger than...what he usually drinks.

...Did... ...Did I...get Kenta drunk on purpose? I-I mean...to...do this?

...Th-This was...my idea... ...K-Kenta wouldn't lie and...I have that stupid note...

...Oh...Gods...

I sit silently, Kenta cries behind me... ...Kenta...This isn't your fault...

Jen finally speaks after more than a minute. I...I sort of forgot I was on the phone. "...One question...Um...How do you feel about Kenta right now? Not 'do you love him' but are you pissed at him for...Well..."

"...He...said I was...really...insistent...And..." ...Holy shit...

"So...you...Do you have ANY idea what your logic was at the time?"

"...Um..." ...That...Kenta's always there for me and... He obviously loves me...A lot. And... ...I can't return those feelings.

He...He dates. Sometimes. But it never lasts long... ...Because he wants "Hiro-chan." Takeshi and I once talked about that after they broke up, he and Kenta are still good friends but... ...Takeshi told me it was obvious that Kenta wanted me instead, Takeshi was just "the best he could do." Takeshi was less upset about that than he thought he'd be, he understood it a little. He liked a straight friend a lot, too, but "not nearly as much as Kenta loves you," he told me, "not even close."

...I've kissed Kenta a couple times when he's felt bad, like that time in the park and...It makes him happy...I think alcohol just made me take 'kiss' to the...extreme...last night. ...I know Kenta wouldn't have started this, or even thought of it. As many times as he or Ruki have joked about this happening...Kenta's not like that.

...I admit it, I-I sometimes...wish I was gay. Just so I could make Kenta happy. If they invented some sort of gay-pill or something, I'd take it in heartbeat...Because I feel so bad for Kenta sometimes. ...I'm sorry, Kenta. I really, really wish I...could love you back. That's...probably why this happened, I was probably so drunk, I thought, "I'll try to go gay for Kenta." ...It...wouldn't surprise me if those exact words ran through my mind at some point when it started. ...Probably explains the "Kenta's awesome" part of my note. ...Kenta is awesome, he's been my best friend since...Forever. And, even after this...I want him to always be my best friend.

Though, I have a feeling he thinks I hate him right now...

I look to Kenta, he's... ...I...I haven't seen him cry like this before. Ever. Yeah, this sort of thing...usually destroys any friendship...

...Not this one.

"...Jen, I'll...call you later. Sorry to wake you."

"Hirokazu, just...one thing."

"Yeah."

"...I know...Kenta wouldn't..."

"I know, I know...Don't worry." I nod. "Call you later." I hang up. "...Kenta..." I look to Kenta.

"...I'm sorry, Hirokazu. I-I should have... ...I should have just kept saying no. I...I was drunk, too, and... ...I'm sorry. I-I just...I was stupid, I...I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay." I sigh. "...Kenta, you're my best friend. You always have been and you always will be. And...the fact you like me so much...It's bothered me."

"It...has?"

"Yeah, but only because I can't return your feelings. I've always felt bad about that. So... ...Look, I was really drunk last night and...Remember that time in the park? With that asshole?" That guy...I saw Kenta talking to him, I got worried when I saw this look on his face and started to approach...The second he pushed Kenta down, calling him a fag and stomping on his glasses, I... ...I lost it. Kenta actually pulled me off of him, he was afraid I was going to kill that asshole. He said he'd never seen me so angry before...

...No-one messes with Kenta. You hurt Kenta, you go to the hospital. That's it. No exceptions.

"...Yeah." He nods, sobbing.

I roll over to Kenta, wrapping an arm around his shoulders...I kiss him on the forehead. "...Feel better, Kenta. We're still friends. Really." ...I actually...have no problem kissing him on the forehead like that. The first time I...felt weird, but... ...I know how happy it makes Kenta. Even after what just happened...I'm not going to stop anytime soon.

He's still crying. "Hirokazu, I'm so sorry."

"Who's Hirokazu?" I smile. "I thought I was 'Hiro-chan.'" He cries even harder, wrapping his arms around me, tightly. "K-Kenta! Come on...Calm down...I'm not mad! I swear!"

"...I-I'm...just so happy you don't hate me, Hiro-chan..." Kenta says. He...always does this. I-I'm always afraid he's more upset... ...I don't know why. "...It...It really doesn't bother you?"

"It...probably won't happen again, but... Hey, congratulations." I grin. "You got me."

...Wait...Did I say...probably? ...I-I...meant...never...

...Right...?

"...Would it...be wrong to say 'I love you?'"

"Nah."

"...I love you, Hiro-chan. And...I'm still sorry, but...Thank you for not being mad." ...I'm...more afraid of the fact this...was my idea...

I-I'm not gay... ...Though, this night kinda makes me wonder...But.. ...I just... I really care about Kenta, because he's always been my best friend. Ever since we were kids... ...I love him, just...Not like that.

Although...

...I gotta know...One thing about last night...

"...One question..."

"...Yes?"

"Who was...um...Y'know...The uh...Um..."

"...You were."

YES! "...Oh, good..."

"...The first time."

...First time? "...H-How much...do you remember of...the...er...Incident?"

"A-A lot...Actually..." Kenta blushes. "I-I kinda...didn't want to forget it. Y'know?"

I nod.

...He gets his precious memories, I get a drunken black out...

...Works for me!


...I...I can't believe I did that... Again, alcohol has...complicated my life. N-Not nearly as bad or...self-questioning as before, but...

I-I thought they knew! HONEST!

...I called...Jen and Takato's confession anniversary "Hot Springs Boner Day" in front of Juri and Ruki. Ruki...got such a laugh out of it, especially the embarrassed look on Takato's face. Sh-She's still...sort of in hysterics back at the table. We're...at a bar again.

Juri...was bright red and...I could tell she was...trying not to laugh for Takato's sake. I'm sure...she's laughing now that Jen dragged Kenta, Takato and I away from the table.

Jen's pissed. As always when I do this. He took Kenta, Takato and I outside, in the alley behind the bar. I'm so gonna get it.

Takato's...pissed, but more embarrassed. Shit, sorry Takato but...It's just so damn funny! Have a sense of humor about yourself!

And... ...To be honest, Takato... Y'know that..."joke" Westerners like to make about us Japanese? You're...Um...You're actually kinda, really...

...I-I'm not...gonna finish that...After that night with Kenta, I don't...wanna think about stuff like that... But...DAMN, Takato...

Jen paces in front of Kenta and I...Pissed. He finally looks at us, then Takato, then us, then Takato again...Then me. He's got this smirk on his face. What's...he gonna do? "...So, Hirokazu, how's Kenta in the sack?"

...Jenrya Li, you BASTARD!

"Wh-What?" Takato looks to Jen. "K-Kenta...in...?"

"J-Jen...N-Not...NOT COOL!" I shout, my jaw drops. Kenta... ...is blushing but...He's got that 'I'm SO enjoying this' look on his face. Kenta, NOT COOL EITHER!

"...W-Wait... ...Hirokazu...you...and Kenta...?" Takato's jaw falls, the red has vanished from his face...

...And he starts laughing, like Ruki when she heard about the hot springs incident. He...He can't stop laughing. He really can't, I've never seen Takato laugh like this...

"...S-Sorry, but...A-Are you...Serious, Jen?" Takato looks to Jen. Jen nods.

"I called him in the middle of it, he said, 'Can't talk, bangin' Kenta.'" Jen says, smiling at me. Takato laughs even harder. "Sounded really proud of it, too!" I DID NOT! ...I hope.

...Kill me...Now...

"So, are you two...?"

"N-NO!" I shout. "It was your stupid cousin and his drinking contest!" I scream.

"Sure, blame Kai..." Takato grins. He then looks to Kenta. "Kenta, um...I-I don't know how to ask this, but...Um..." He whispers into Kenta's ear.

Kenta grins, looks to me, then whisper's into Takato's ear.

The look on Takato's face as he looks to me tells me I got complimented by Kenta... ...But not in a way I want Jen and Takato to know...Or Kenta!

DAMN IT! WHY DID I HAVE TO JOIN KAI IN THAT STUPID DRINKING CONTEST?

"...So, shall we go back to the table? And any more talk of hot springs..." Jen gives me a warning look.

...Point taken, Jen...

...You're still a bastard, though.

~Owari~


Ori's Notes:
This is a bonus chapter for fans of Kako Yadda Yadda Yadda. All three of you (and I'm including Taiki in that count). I give you the aftermath of the sake contest and Jianliang giving Hirokazu a taste of his own medicine...

I thought this chapter would be a nice Christmas gift for readers, I'm really glad so many people liked this one...The entire fic was a ton of fun to write, and this chapter was no exception. I'm really amazed by how well this entire fic turned out and how many people enjoyed it. Thank you, everyone, for enjoying this fic. It really makes me happy to know people actually like the stuff I write.

Finally, I did my best to keep Hirokazu as ambiguously straight as he is in the rest of the fic...I mean, yeah, he said "I'm not gay" a couple times, but just because he says he's not gay doesn't mean it's true...

...What? Don't believe me? I'll prove it!

I'm straight as an arrow!

Merry Christmas! And a grand Feast of Red Cliff to you all!


Taiki's Notes:

Interesting take on Hirokazu's logic that night, and an explanation for his occasional kiss for Kenta.

Loved Jen's form of revenge, too! Especially how he revealed it to Takato!

Though, um, was Hirokazu complimenting Takato on what I THINK he was complimenting...? I-I wonder about him sometimes in this fic. Especially after that. Wow. Just bleedin' wow.

This certainly is quite the Christmas upload for Ori! We've got a ton of fics uploaded! I really hope everyone is enjoying them, I know I'm having a blast editing them! And I know Ori loved to do a big Christmas upload back when he wrote on FFN in the past. He says his final year was his best ever and I hope we can outdo it this year.

Happy Christmas, everyone!
-Taiki Matsuki