I'm baaaaaaaack :3 Did you miss me children

And thus I present to you, a co-authorised multichapter fic between myself and the rather sexual Moonlight and Music.

She will be writing as Mello and myself as Matt

Review for virtual rum ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.


It was another long day on set. Misa-Misa was shooting several music videos in one week, so we dancers got even less time off than usual. I, however, got even less than that being a featured dancer. That's right I was that fucking sexy, they put me next to Misa in all the "steamy" scenes in her videos. The other dancers resented me for it. They can go fuck themselves. It's not my fault they're not as sexy as me, or look as good in all leather. We had just finished the first shoot of the last day. The songs were catchy techno-ish numbers, much better than her usual pop shit she sang.

'Not going to get us' and 'Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy' were the last two songs to be shot. They had to be done today as the agency had just rented the club (which was featured in both videos) for today, so it was going to be a long day. I was cooling off during my twenty minute lunch break when Misa dragged someone my direction screeching something. God, someone please put a muzzle on the bitch.

"Liiighht-kuuun! This is Mello-kun! See look at him I told you he would be perfect!" Well that answered that question, it was Raito Yagami aka Light, her supposed boyfriend and manager. Finishing my water bottle I cocked an eyebrow at the pair.

"Can I help you?"

Bouncing up and down like a retard Misa continued to squeal."See, look at him! He's perfect."

Light sighed. "Fine, Misa. If you think he will work I'll see about getting the necessary paperwork."

"Excuse me? You better tell me what the hell you want, especially if it involves paperwork." Misa jumped in surprise, as if she forgot I was there- which is impossible, I'm too sexy to forget. "If you fucking want something from me tell me now. I have five minutes left on break and I need to stretch so I don't pull something in the next shot." I was getting impatient with miss bitch and her pretty boy toy.

"Misa Misa wants Mello-kun to be the model for the male version of her perfume line!" She chirped happily.

Light held out his hand, an arrogant grin on his face. "What do you say we get together with your manager for diner after the shoot? We can discuss logistics then."

I reluctantly shook his hand, but this could be the break I was waiting for, even if it came in the way of an annoying-ass pop-star and her douche-bag boyfriend/manager.

"I'll be there, but I have no manager. I'm one of the agency's." I informed him.

Light looked surprised. We're not all talentless incompetent people trying to make it big fucktard

True to my word I may be a lot of things but a liar isn't one of them- I met the two morons after the shoot ended at fucking two A.M. I wanted nothing more than a shower and a bed; instead I was at a greasy spoon diner with two people I don't give a shit about, even if one was willing to be my patron.

"I have spoken with the agency," Light stated; jumping right into business. Good, I won't have to deal with the too hyper blond next to him for too much longer. "They are willing enough, but that doesn't change the fact that you have no manager. I have a feeling that this could be the thing that spring-boards your career. Having Misa support you and an ad this big "

"Wait one second here. You haven't even told me what the fuck you want from me yet!" What? I wasn't known for my patience, or my kindness either

Misa bounded like a deranged rabbit in her seat. "Misa Misa wants Mello-kun to be the model for her cologne line!"

Light sighed before stilling her; thank god people were starting to look.

"Misa has a new perfume line out called 'Sultry', it has a male counterpart called 'Seduction' and she wanted you to be the spokes-model for Seduction." He must have noticed my 'what the fuck' look, I mean seduction? For cologne? Before he answered.

"Misa named them herself." Well that answers that question...

"Well, will you do it?" Light slid me a piece of paper with a figure on it. Holy shit. Is that how much I would be making? Giving a sigh I picked up the pen that rested on the table.

"Where is the damn paper work? I'll do it."

Roughly one week later I was at the warehouse that would serve as our set. I loved the chaos that was a set for anything...Holy shit is that the photographer? I leered at the red-head from the shadows. He was defiantly the 'quirky artist' type; I mean he was wearing goggles for fuck sake. However, he was lean and slightly muscled. I would rate him at about an eight out of ten. Who knows, if I saw him naked it might just go up

"Mello-kun!" I found myself assaulted by an overly hyper Misa. "Misa Misa is so glad to see Mello-kun! Is he ready for the shoot?"

"As I'll ever be." I replied dully. Such enthusiasm for my work, no? Misa started giggling. Oh God, this isn't going to be good.

"Oh!" Misa yelped, looking slightly flustered. "Misa forgot to tell Mello-kun, it's a nude shoot."

"Holy fucking shit."