The Beginning:

Germany: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Spain.[A greek vase is shown with a picture of Spain fighting some monster. Vase zooms in slowly]

Denmark: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy. [Denmark waves a sad face mask over his own face]

Finland: Lighten up, dude.

Iceland: We'll take it from here, darling. [He says, putting a hand on his hip]

Germany: You go girls… I mean guys…

Iceland: We are the muses, er the Nordics. Gods of the arts and proclaimers of the heroes.

Finland: Hero's like Spain!

Denmark: Honey, you mean "hunk-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him. [Shows Finland giving Denmark a strange look. 'Who's Hunk-ules?' He whispers to Iceland who shrugs and they continue with their act.]

[the Nordics start humming]

Iceland: Our story actually begins long before Spain, many eons ago…

[Scene changes colors and the Nordics start walking and singing]

Nordics: Back when the world was new. The planet Earth was down on its luck, and everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok.

[schematic pictures of whatever gets mentioned in the song start moving]

Denmark: It was a nasty place, there was a mess wherever you stepped.

Nordics: Where chaos reigned and the earthquakes and volcanoes never slept.

Denmark: Whoo! Sing it Boyfriend!

Nordics: And then along game America. He hurled his thunderbolt... (Shows America throwing Hamburgers at the Titans) He zapped! Locked those suckers in a vault, their trapped! And on his own, stopped chaos on its tracks. And that's the gospel truth. The guy was too "type A" to just relax, and that's the world's first dish.

Denmark: Yeah, baby!

Nordics: America tamed the globe while still in his youth. Tough, honey, it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth. On Mount Olympus life was neat, and smooth as sweet vermouth. Although honey, it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth.

{Schematic picture of Olympus zooms in and turns into a real one. While Nordics still repeat their 'ah's and 'yeah's, camera moves up the mountain slope, while it does, the movie title, Spain, is shown. Then the camera goes inside, passes various chattering gods and finds baby Spain.}

Liechtenstein(shortened to Lili for this story): Spain! Behave yourself.

[America comes in to play with the baby]

America: Oh, look at this, look how cute he is…

[America babbles at baby Spain and he catches America by the index finger and lifts him above the cradle.]

America: Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, hmm?

Italy: (Moving through a crowd of gods) : Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Lili.

[Italy hands Lili a bundle of glowing pasta?]

Lili: Um why, Italy, it's lovely…

Italy: Yeah, you know, I had Belarus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? (flies closer to America now) Fabulous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since France discovered himself.

[France is shown, staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds. Also baby Spain gets one of America's Hamburger bolts and plays with it]

Lili: Dear, keep those away from the baby they are bad for him.

America: Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun.

[Baby Spain tries to eat the hamburger bolt, and gets zapped, and throws it away in frustration. Three gods jump away from its path, until Russia hits it with his pipe so it hits a pillar, which immediately reappears after its destruction.]

America: Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts.

Lili: What about our gift, dear?

America: Well, let's see here… we'll take, hmm, yes, a little cirrus, and, hmmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash of cumulus.[America moves his hand, with a little bull-shaped cloud on it, closer to baby Spain and the cloud turns out to be a baby bull with wings] His name is Taurus, and he's all yours, son.

[Baby Spain bonks his forehead against Baby Taurus', he snorts and licks Spain, they hug, and all the gods sigh.]

America: My boy. My little Spain.

Austria: How sentimental.

[Camera moves to Austria fast after his voice is heard.]

Austria: You know, I haven't been this chocked up since I got a hunk a musica caught in my throat! Huh?

[All the gods look sternly at him]

Austria: So is this an audience of a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress. [He says as he passes each god/goddess until he reaches America who squeezes him into hug.]

America: So Austria, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?

Austria:(taking America's hand off his shoulder) Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? [he moves over to Spain] Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh? [he weaves a sucker with a skeleton head out of thin mist] Here you go. Ya just... [Austria tries to get Spain to eat the sucker. Spain squeezes Austria's finger, and after some fight Austria gets away from the baby.]Sheesh! Uh, powerful little tyke. [He says as he massages his crippled finger]

America:[Hugging Austria ones again] Come on, Austria, don't be such a stiff, join the celebration!

Austria:[Getting free from another hug] Hey, love to, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig. You know, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, America. So...can't. Love to, but can't.

America: You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death...Hah! Work yourself to death![Crowd laughs] Oh I kill myself.

Austria: If only, if only...[He leaves]

[Scene changes back to the Nordics]

Iceland: If there's one god who you don't want to get steamed up, it's Austria, cause he had an evil plan.

[Scene changes to a boat on the river Styx, in which a skeleton is rowing Austria. Nordics sing in the background]

Nordics: He ran the underworld, but thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as he was ruthless, and that's the gospel truth. He had a plan to shake things up, [Austria feeds the three-headed dog Cerberus.] and that's the gospel truth.

[Austria gets on the shore]

Austria: Switzerland!

Switzerland: Coming, your most lugubriousness. [He trips, rolls down the stairs gets seated on a sharp trident, he cries out in pain.]

Austria: Hungary!

Hungary: Oh, I'm sorry, I can handle it! [She runs, but trips over Switzerland, who just got free from the trident, falls over, and her horns get stuck into Switzerland in the same place where the trident was] (yes they both have horns because they are little "demons")

Switzerland: Switzerland!

Hungary: And Hungary!

Both: Reporting for duty!

Austria: Fine, fine, fine, just let me know the instant the Fates arrive.

Hungary: (who just got her horns free from Switzerland) Oh! They're here!

Austria: (bursts into flames) What? The Fates are here and you didn't tell me?

Both: We are worms! Worthless worms! (they really shape change into worms)

Austria: Memo to me, memo to me, maim you after my meeting.

[Scene changes to a cavern with the Fates]

Turkey: Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life good and tight. (He cuts a thread with scissors and a woman's scream is heard)

Egypt: Incoming!

[The Fates laugh as a soul enters the cave and flies into a tunnel. A counter above the tunnel now says "Over 5000000001 served"]

Austria: Gentlemen! Hah! I am sorry that I'm...

Turkey: Late.

Greece: We knew you would be.

Egypt: We know everything. [They pass around a random eyeball as the speak the next three lines.]

Greece: Past.

Egypt: Present.

Turkey: And future (says this to Hungary) Indoor plumbing... it's gonna be big.

Austria: Great. Great. Anyway, see, Guys, I was at this party, and I lost track off...

Fates: We know!

Austria: Yeah. I know... you know. So, here's the deal. America, Mr High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off my hamburger," now he has...

Fates: A bouncing baby brat.

Greece: We know!

Austria: I know... you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept, so let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover gig, or what? What do you think?

Egypt: Um...

Greece: [silences Egypt] Oh no you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future.

Austria: Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you, (to Egypt as he plays with Egypt's hat) did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. [Egypt giggles] I mean, you look like a fate worse than death.

[Egypt giggles more, Greece hits him on the head, the random eye falls into the hands of Hungary]

Hungary: Ewe, Gross! [She tosses it to the floor by Switzerland]

Switzerland:Yech! It's blinking! [He kicks it into Austria's hand]

Austria: Gentlemen, please, my fate..[He puts the eye into Egypt's hand] is in your lovely hands.

Egypt: Oh, yeah.

Greece: Oh all right. [The random eye raises in the air, showing pictures of the future]

Turkey: In 18 years precisely. The planets will align, ever so nicely.

Austria: Ay, verse! Oy.

Turkey: The time to act will be at hand, unleash the Titans, your monstrous band.

Austria: Mm-hmm, good, good.

Turkey: Then the once-proud America will finally fall, and you, Austria, will rule all!

Austria: Yes! Austria rules!

Turkey: A word of caution to this tale.

Austria: Excuse me?

Turkey: Should Spain fight, you will fail.

[Fates disappear, and cackle as they go]

Austria: [Burning into flame] What? [He cools down] Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine. [Bell dings] Switzerland? Hungary? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?

Switzerland: I do not...know!

Hungary: You can't. They're... immortal?

Austria: Bingo! They're immortal. [He takes a vial with red liquid and camera zooms at it, filling the screen] So, first you got to turn the little sunspot mortal.