Disclaimer: I used to own supernatural, the boys, the Impala and everything else on the show. But then, the men in white gave me my meds and I had to take them.
Summary: As it turned out, Sam's dark destiny always had a plan for him. Even when he derailed one, there was always a back-up.
A/N: Hey, everyone. I don't know why, but most of you seemed under the impression that I was done with the story. If I remember rightly, I said that it was a cliffhanger and I could realistically end the story. Could, not would. The only clue of the resolution of the cliffie I gave was that Sam wouldn't be resurrected. I guess this chapter will make it clear that I never intended to end the story at that point.
Pain. That was the first thing he was aware of. A big splitting head-ache. Which was odd, because there wasn't supposed to be any pain in heaven. Did this mean that he had been resurrected again? By Death? Or God? Or Castiel? Or, God forbid, Dean? He tried to raise his hands to his head only to discover that they were tied behind the chair he was sitting on.
"Finally," a familiar voice said. "You are awake. I've been waiting a long time for this, you know?"
Sam looked up to see his grandfather standing in front of him. He and Samuel were in a dingy room with boarded windows that definitely did not belong to any of their bases Sam had been to.
"So Sam, did you have a nice dream?" Samuel asked. "I know that getting off the genie juice can be a little disorienting, but we couldn't let you remain under forever. Atleast you got to have what you wished for, right?"
Djinn Poison. That explained it. It was all a dream, a hallucination. None of it was real. No, that wasn't true. What he felt there, was real. What Dean had said to him there, it was all the truth. Steeling himself, Sam looked his grandfather in the eye.
"Not exactly." He replied sarcastically. "Your head is still attached to your body."
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I thought this," Samuel said, gesturing to himself, "would make you feel more at ease. I didn't know you felt that way about your grandfather. Maybe this will be a better choice." With those words Samuel effortlessly changed his form. "Better now?" He asked in Dean's gruff voice.
Sam's eyes widened at the transformation. Even though Russell had told him, even though Dean had said it himself, Sam hadn't wanted to believe that Dean had failed in completing the job. But right now, the proof was in front of his eyes. It was the Alpha shapeshifter.
"So you are alive." Sam said with all the bravado he could muster. "How did you survive meeting Dean? He is not the one to leave a job unfinished."
"Your brother?" The creature looked surprised. "I've never met Dean. This- this is from the pictures I've seen of him."
"And barging in our camp to kidnap the baby doesn't count?"
"Ohh, that." Realization seemed to dawn on him. "You mean our father. Our previous father, that is. I'm the father now."
The Alpha took a chair from the corner and sat down in front of Sam.
"Alphas don't live forever, Sam." He explained. "What, you thought that one guy has been at the top for thousands of years and never been caught by the likes of you? We have lost countless leaders over time. Every time an Alpha dies, the next in line takes his place. That's true for all the creatures out there who have an Alpha. It's not so much as the first one that's an Alpha, but the one that's the oldest or the most powerful. You should have realized this sooner. You can't kill an Alpha unless you wipe out the whole bunch of us."
So that's what it all meant. That's what Dean had meant when he had tried to tell him that no one could kill an Alpha. He should've listened to him He wouldn't be in this position if he'd just listened to Dean. And the others- they might still have been alive.
"So, what am I still doing here?" Sam asked. "Why not just kill me and be done with it?"
"Kill you?" The Alpha looked genuinely shocked. "We wouldn't have gone to such lengths to get you just to kill you. Why, we even faked your death so your brother won't come looking for you."
His own blank eyes staring at him flashed through his mind. It was a dead shapeshifter.
"Sam, you are too important for us. We sacrificed one of our own for your sake." The shapeshifter continued. "When we heard that you were among those incompetent bunch, we all just put aside our differences to work together, just like you wanted us to."
"What?" Sam asked, perplexed.
"What do you think the war was about Sam? All of us 'freaks' were going to war with each-other for your sake. You were the grand prize. Whoever won the war would get to bask in your glory. We were geared up to fight each-other to death until you showed us how wrong you were. When you burned down the warehouse full of – well – our people, you made us realize that we were all children of the same. Kids shouldn't fight for their parent's attention, they should learn to share. This gathering here was an attempt on all of our parts to learn how to share."
"You are crazy." Sam said, now utterly confused. "You are nuts. Do you even know what you are saying?"
"You don't realize it." The shifter said sadly. "You are our father Sam. You are the first Alpha. You are the one who made us all."
Sam just continued staring confusedly at him. How could he be the first Alpha? Did he time-travel to the stone-ages and not remember?
"Well, technically not you." The shifter said. "But your predecessor. The one before you."
"The one before me what?"
"The first vessel of Lucifer." The reply came. "What did you think happened to the first vessel after the angels cast Lucifer to hell, huh? The story goes, that he had said yes to Lucifer because he hated humanity and he hated being human. He wanted to be so much more. He wanted to create things which were so much more. And even after his master was gone, he didn't stop. We don't know how, but he created all of us from his blood, his demon infested essence. Oh, there were monsters before us, but none who originated from your kind. He took the weak, fragile humans as clay and molded them into us. And now that blood runs through your veins."
Cold dread swept over Sam. Demon blood- the bane of his existence. It had been ruining his life since he was six months old and even now it was still destroying whatever little he managed to achieve.
"Whatever you want from me, I'm not gonna do it." Sam said defiantly.
"But you are already doing it Sam, don't you realize?" The Alpha said, "Your very presence grants us power. We are never stronger than when we are by your side. Haven't you noticed? Your presence has been felt by every single one like us around the world. Why do you think that suddenly creatures that have never set foot on this land are immigrating from the world over? Why do you think we are all able to break patterns now, when we have been trying to do so for centuries? It's your very existence Sam. It's the blood in your body. It's like experiencing roids and rapture together. For us, this is the Second Coming."
Sam sat devastated. He had been the cause of it. This was why he was so essential to Death's plan. His presence would strengthen them and allow them to kill more. He was not a part of the solution, he never had been. He had always been the problem.
"And when you are finally ready," the creature spoke, "You will create more brothers and sisters for us. We know you will see it our way. It's just a matter of time, Sam. We all have faith in you."
He was the problem. He had always been the problem. All his life, however hard he struggled against it, his very existence had been the bane to humans everywhere. No matter how hard he tried, his cursed life destroyed everything he cared about. And he had always made the wrong choices.
He had never listened to his brother. That was the problem. Dean had been right at every turn. He had warned him about wanting a normal life. Warned him about being consumed with revenge. Warned him about the demon blood and the demon he was sucking it from. He had even had reservations about saying yes to Lucifer. He had, unknowingly, tried to protect Sam from this and Sam had ignored his warnings every time. He had been so desperate to escape from Dean's shadow, so desperate to be his own man, so desperate to be a grown-up that he had never stopped to consider the consequences of his actions.
He had hurt Dean. He had hurt him so much and so deeply on his quest for independence. Of all his sins, that was the one he could never forgive himself for. All others could be attributed to manipulations of fate and demons. And Dean had never held them against him. But the ones that had hurt him the most were Sam's own choices. He couldn't blame anyone else for those. And now I seemed that he couldn't even make up for those.
He had made a promise to himself in his presumed afterlife. He had promised himself that he ever got another chance, probably his hundredth; he wouldn't waste it this time. He would spend his life making it all up to Dean, because Dean was worth it. But now it seemed as if he wouldn't even be given an opportunity to do that. Not while he was chained to the wall of a prison cell after his two failed suicide attempts. He couldn't even die correctly. His only hope had been that Dean would somehow find him and put him out of his misery. But that hope had been crushed as well. According to what he had heard, Dean had found the bodies in the abandoned town and burnt them all. He had no reason to believe his brother was still alive. And now no one was even looking for him.
No one except for monsters, that was. Creatures swarmed all around him, creatures he didn't even know existed and some, he thought, were extinct. He didn't know whether they were in some other abandoned town or hidden in the middle of New-York, but new things just kept coming. All wanting to be as close to him as possible. All getting stronger every day due to his presence.
"I would have turned you, you know?" The man before him said.
Sam looked up from his confined position against the wall. Every few days one of the Alpha's would come in and try to convince him to turn to their side. Their arguments ranged from how he was already one of them to how his people had abandoned him. Today, it seemed, it was the vampire's turn.
"I wanted to turn you into one of us." The large black man continued. "One of my kind. I guess all of us did. But that would have been a mistake. I see that now. You are just perfect as you are."
"Go screw yourself." Sam said tiredly. He didn't know how much longer he could last. He wasn't strong, not like Dean. Between the hallucinations the djinns gave him and the rest of the mind-tricks others had up their sleeves, he felt close to the breaking point. But he couldn't give up now. Not after everything. Unknowingly, the vision of Dean that the Djinns had given him were now giving him the strength to hold on. Just think of Dean, he told himself, just keep thinking of Dean.
"Sam, I don't think you realize your position here." The Alpha Vamp said."You have nowhere left to go. Wherever you are, we'll find you. If you kill yourself, we'll find a way to bring you back. You can't run, you can't hide. And there is no one out there who wants you. No one is looking for you Sam."
As if on cue, sudden shouts erupted outside the cell area as four shots rang out. Sudden hope flared in Sam's chest as the Alpha looked back in confusion.
"What's wrong?" He shouted. "What's going on out there?"
He didn't know, Sam realized. He didn't know how close to death he was now. Dean was here. Dean had walked into hell to for him and now he was going to save him from it.
To anyone else Dean's entry would not have seemed too impressive as he rushed in with a desperate look on his face and a panicked "Sammy" on his lips. It certainly didn't seem to faze the Alpha as he turned towards the threat.
"You?" The vampire snarled and even though his back was turned to him, Sam could tell the fangs were descending. "You picked the wrong day to mess with us boy." He pointed over his shoulder while advancing towards Dean, only the bars of the cell between them. "With him near me, you can't hurt me even a little."
Faster that Sam's eyes could follow, Dean threw something at the vampire. His eyes widened in shock as blue sparks ran through his body. He stood looking down at his chest for a moment then keeled over dead and Sam saw a scythe sticking out of it.
"Sam." Dean shouted raising the shotgun at him. Sam's blood ran cold. Dean wasn't here to save him, he was here to kill him. It was okay, Sam thought, that's what he had wanted wasn't it? "Get down." Dean finished.
Sam barely had the time to register and follow the command when a shot rang out above his head. He turned to see one of the protective sigils placed all over the jail being blown apart by the blast.
"Cas, now." Dean shouted.
So, it was a sigil to keep angels at bay, Sam realized numbly as Castiel appeared beside him. He made short work of the restraints binding Sam, but then surprised him by throwing him back on the bed and ripping the front of his shirt open.
"Brace yourself, Sam." He said pulling out a blade. "This is going to hurt."
Sam was about to ask what when Castiel started cutting him with the blade, drawing on him, as it were, with the blade moving in arcs and lines. Sam cried weakly and tried to resist but his attempts were shunned away by a clearly impatient angel.
"Cas, what the hell?" Dean shouted from outside the bars, trying to work the lock open. "Get away from him."
By the time Dean finally made it inside and shoved Castiel away, he was already finished. Sam looked down to see a vaguely familiar pattern on his chest.
"What the hell Cas?" Dean shouted. "You were supposed to use a marker."
"I apologize." Castiel said. "I forgot to bring one in our haste. So I had to improvise."
Sam hadn't realized it before, but there were screams and cries coming from all over the outside. There were others, he remembered suddenly. Not other monsters, but other humans held captive by them. They shouldn't be here wasting time on him when they could save people actually worth saving.
"Dean, there are others- people- they need.." Sam tried to say weakly.
"Cas, go." Dean commanded. Seeing Castiel hesitate, he said, "I can handle it from here on. Go, help the others."
With a nod Castiel disappeared. Dean turned towards his brother and said, "Sam, try to stay quiet okay? This is gonna hurt real bad."
It was the same thing that Castiel had said, Sam realized as Dean pressed down his palm on the newly made wound and pain burst through every fibre of Sam's being. This was worse than any pain he'd ever felt, he realized, worse than blood withdrawal, worse than hell. His blood felt like it was boiling and electricity seemed to run through his body. Inspite of Dean's request, he let out a blood-curdling scream.
Someone was coming, he vaguely realized through the subsiding haze of pain, probably the creatures that had kept him prisoner. They were coming for him and Dean was here all alone. Cas was gone to help the others and if Dean didn't run now he'd be killed, just like all the other hunters. He couldn't escape with Sam, not with Sam like that. Fighting unconsciousness with all his will power Sam said, "They are coming Dean. You have to get away."
"I'm not leaving you again, Sam." Dean said, bending down and pulling out the scythe from the dead vampire's chest and turning to face the approaching threat.
"Dean, please." Sam begged. "You can't fight them all alone."
"I'm not alone." Dean said, raising his right hand to his chest and turning a ring on his finger. "Descend, Seraphiel."
A bright flash of light filled the room as Sam finally lost consciousness.
When Sam groggily made his way back to consciousness, he knew several days had passed since his last imprisonment. He could vaguely remember vague flashes of puking up blood and fevered hallucinations that had kept his internal clock running, but couldn't really be counted as being awake. It was like waking up from a terrible nightmare, but as in the past, Dean was there when he woke up.
"Sorry about your new scar." Dean gestured at his chest that now sported healing remnants of Castiel's artwork. "Cas was supposed to use a marker. But now you have something to talk about on your next date."
Sam looked down at his chest. He knew it had looked familiar. Now he recognized the design as the one Dean had shown him, one that expelled demons.
"I wasn't possessed, Dean." He said numbly.
"I know. This is a modified version of that." Dean explained. "This basically expels all external supernatural substances from your body. Once we figured out that it was your demon blood that was juicing up the creeps, Cas came up with this to fix that. I'm telling you man, he is a bigger nerd than you."
"It's all gone?" Could it really be true? Was he finally free from his cursed blood.
"Not the part Azazel fed you as a kid. That's a part of you now." Dean said. "But the rest, yeah, its gone."
"It wasn't the demon blood, Dean." For some reason, he felt it was important that Dean should realize it. "It was never the demon blood. Everything I did, it was all my choice."
"I know." Dean said sadly.
"What happened back there? How did you know I was even alive?."
"I couldn't burn your body with the others." Dean replied. "I didn't know what to do. When I was taking it back, the skin started falling off. That's when I realized that they wanted you for something more than food. And when I figured out where they were keeping you, I got Cas and the angel patrol to help me clean the house."
"And all of those things are dead?"
"Most of them." Dean said. "Some escaped and there are plenty more out in the world to take their place."
"And the angels just helped you out of the goodness of their hearts? That doesn't sound like them."
"Hey, they couldn't refuse. I got this." Dean said, waving the ring on his finger at Sam. "Besides, Cas and his bunch owed me big time. I helped them win the war."
"Huh? Look at you." Sam said. "You are not Michael's vessel but you still end up becoming heaven's general."
"Yeah." Dean smirked. "I'm badass, aren't I?"
Sam smiled in return and looked down to study his nails. Everything was okay now. Dean had fixed everything as usual. He had made a mess and Dean had cleaned it up and everyone was okay again. For now,
"Why am I here Dean?" Sam asked. "Why haven't you killed me already?"
"No point in that, Sam." Dean answered. "Without the demon blood, you are just another hunter."
"So what?" Sam shouted. "I always screw-up. There is always something with me that's going wrong. It's just a matter of time before I bring you down again and you don't deserve that."
"Self-pity doesn't become you." Dean said in an even tone.
Sam looked away ashamed. He remembered the resolve he had made so many times, a resolve that always faded away after getting back to his brother. HE wasn't going to let that happen again.
"I'm sorry Dean." He said, not meeting his brother's eyes.
"For what?" Dean asked in the same tone.
"Jeez, the list is so long Dean." Sam looked up. "It will take me a whole day to go through it."
"Well, we got all the time we need Sam. And you need to say it." Dean shouted.
"I'm sorry for everything, okay." Sam shouted back. "I'm sorry for letting you down again and again even after you believed in me. I'm sorry for treating you like crap when all you did was care for me. I'm sorry for always trusting and picking others over you when you always chose me. I'm sorry for-for thinking that you were weak and good-for-nothing when you have proved over and over again that you are so much better than me. I'm sorry for leaving you when all you wanted was to be a part of my life. I'm sorry for shutting you out of my life, for making those decisions for you when you have always treated let me make my own. I'm sorry for thinking that being cold and ruthless made me better while it led to me losing the only thing that mattered anymore. I'm sorry I got so obsessed with the hunt and revenge that I lost sight of what was important. I'm sorry for being the person who'd risk his own brother's life like that. I'm sorry for all the lies and the mistakes when you have shown me again and again that you'll always forgive me. I'm sorry for putting you through hell." Sam was sobbing now. "I'm sorry for hurting you so much that you could finally take it no more. I'm sorry for everything, Dean. And I'm sorry, but I don't know if I can be the person you could trust again."
Sam was looking down on his lap as tears fell from his eyes. He had been desperate for this. Desperate to feel again if it only brought pain and remorse. He felt the bed dip as Dean sat down at the edge of the bed.
"Thank you Sam. I needed to hear that." Dean said evenly. He gently placed his hand on Sam's knee. "Look, Sam, there is no denying that you have hurt me a lot. And I have hated you for that." He sighed. "But being with you also made me happy. Happier than I have ever been. That's why I will do anything to get you back like you were before."
"I don't wanna hurt you again, Dean." Sam said looking up at his brother. "I don't want to risk that. I don't think I can be the person you want me to be."
"That's no excuse for not trying." Dean replied.
"I have been trying. Ever since I got away from the Campbells, I have. But I don't think I can. Not without your help." Sam looked imploringly at Dean. "But I know that after everything, I have no right to even ask, but right now, I'm asking all the same."
Dean nodded to himself, seemingly considering the plea.
"Alright then." He said finally. "You will be back on your feet in couple of days. We can go back and stay at Lisa's for a while. Then, when you feel like it again, you can start hunting."
"Just like that?" Sam looked up in surprise. "All is forgiven, just like that?"
"No Sam, all is not forgiven." Dena replied. "You have got a hell of a lot to make up for. All I'm doing is giving you a chance."
"Because you asked for my help." Dean said with finality. "You have never asked for my help to be a better person and meant it. You have asked me to help save your soul, get redemption and help you get revenge, but you have never said you wanted me around because it made you a better person. That tells me that you have really changed, Sam. Part of being a grown-up is knowing when to ask for help and now I feel like you have finally grown-up."
"I don't want to make any promises that I might not keep." Sam said through teary-eyed smile.
"Me neither." Dean replied. "Let's just take it one day at a time, Sammy."
One day at a time. That sounded like a good plan. Sam hadn't become what he had in a night and he wouldn't be all better in one either. But he could do this. He could get back his humanity with his brother's help. One day at a time.
A/N: That's all folks. This story is over for good now. I guess this chapter will make it clear that I always wanted to end it this way. I had mentioned Dean's ring of Solomon back in ch3, the sigil of repulsion in the next chapter and Dean demanding things from death in the next one. I feel I need to explain this because I feel that this chapter is a bit rushed. Whatever unanswered questions that remain will be dealt in the sequel. The sequel won't be a sequel as such, but more of one-shots about the guys' lives afterward, set in the same 'verse. Any making up that Sam does will be in the sequel as well. It will be updated sporadically as ideas hit me.
Though currently the show is not making me feel much better about Sam, soulless or not. Ten minutes after promising Dean that he'd be honest, he starts lying through his teeth again and Dean just takes it. Does nothing more than shout. He even leaves the option of leaving to Sam, so if he had left, once again Sam would have left Dean. And the Campbells are as deprecating and condescending as ever. And Dean seems to doing anything to discredit their opinion. The fact that he was right all along, about everything, doesn't seem to matter one bit to anyone. It's like they're thinking, "So what if he was right this time, he may not be the next time. So I'm not gonna listen to him and do whatever I want or what some shady, untrustworthy character tells me to." Sorry, that may have sounded specific but it was aimed at all the characters of the show.
Anyway. I'm thinking of writing another story. Not in the same verse, but one where Dean turns into what Sam is like now. I would be hard right evil Dean, but I feel that he is being such a goody doormat lately, that he should get a chance let his inner demon, the one we saw in DALDOM out. Tell me what you all think. About this story, about the sequel and about the new idea.