Author's Note: This is a Poker Night at the Inventory fanfiction, but since it's MOSTLY focused on Strong Bad and Tycho, it's under and Penny Arcade, respectively.

"Sorry I'm late- what are we talking about?"

Tycho, Max and Heavy looked over at the late arrival. He dropped his chips on the table with a plastic clatter.

"Not much," Tycho smirked from across the table. "You know- man stuff."

Strong Bad sneered at him. "Guess you wouldn't know anything about that, then," he snorted, shuffling the deck. Max bounced onto the table and propped himself precariously on Strong Bad's head, watching him shuffle. He flashed him an upside down, toothy grin. "We're discussing ladies," he clarified excitedly.

Strong Bad snorted, unaffected by Max's antics now. "Is that so?" he asked distractedly.

"Yuh-huh, Tycho was just telling us about some girl he conquered." He flexed his arms. Heavy let out a low chuckle.

"Is that so? I suppose that would be a work of fiction," Strong Bad snickered. Tycho was unusually quiet.

"I may or may not have embellished some details," he shrugged. "Now where was I?"

"Girl was bent over desk," Heavy stated, looking at his cards. "And screaming."

"Ah, yes." Tycho picked up his cards, and rearranged them absently. "She was begging for it by that point, she was-"

"Oh Tycho," Max cooed, his voice dipping into falsetto. They had apparently been over this in Strong Bad's absence. "Harder, Tycho, harder, holy crap!"

Strong Bad froze, eye twitching.

"Just like that," Tycho mused. "...well, maybe sounding a bit more desperate. You know how those dick-hungry girls can be. First they can't get enough in one end, and then the other."

He paused. "Right, Strong Bad?"

"Vhat is wrong, little man?" Heavy asked, mouth full of sandwich.

Strong Bad was trembling angrily, his eyes narrowed hatefully at Tycho. "Nothing," he snapped venomously, voice coarse and raw. "Nothing is wrong, let's just play the freakin' game and not talk about Tycho's completely stupid and obviously unreal fantasies anymore." He slammed the deck in the middle of the table and focused his attention on his cards, while Tycho just smirked, obviously content. Max and Heavy shot each other a glance and a shrug. Those two could be so weird.