AN: Ok, this is my first attempt at anything Big Bang Theory related, it's just something that has been floating around in my head for a little while, let me know what you think.. I'm intending on there being at least a few more chapters, if people like it... I own nothing but the thoughts on the page..
The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
"Sheldon, is everything alright?" Penny asked in concern.
He swivelled his head towards her and asked blankly, "Of course it is Penny, why wouldn't it be?"
"Well, I don't know.." Penny leaned forward and raised her eyes brows slightly, "But you just drank Leonard's coffee from yesterday, and I know how you feel about germs so.." She said helpfully.
Sheldon looked down at the mug in his hands in shock and revulsion, "Good lord, you're right, I must disinfect immediately!" He cried in horror, putting down the mug and backing away quickly, turning to dash for the bathroom.
Penny sauntered down the hallway and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, watching him.. "So sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked again, raising her cup to her lips and taking a small sip.
Sheldon glared at her in the mirror and continued gargling till his watch beeped, then spit in the sink. Turning, he snidely remarked, "Do you MIND? I'm disinfecting here!"
She raised an eyebrow and shrugged silently. He straightened his shoulders and tried to shut the door, but her foot was in the way.
"Really Penny, I will NOT urinate in front of you!"
She stepped back into the hall with a sigh. "Fine Sheldon, Urinate if you MUST, but we are not done with this subject."
He shut the door and turned the taps on, mumbling the song his mother taught him.
Penny stood outside the door, tapping her foot impatiently. "Sheldon.."
"AND shake it twice for Texas!" He replied loudly.
"Shelllldon..." She sang.
"I'm washing my hands."
She rolled her eyes, "Well that's good news."
The water turned off and the door opened a crack. "Damn, you're still here!" He frowned, trying to shut the door again.
"Sheldon, I don't have to work today, so unless you're going to sit in the bathroom all day, and you know today is the day you get groceries at exactly 11:15AM, then I suggest you get your Texas ass out here." She said through her teeth.
Sheldon pursed his lips at her and narrowed his eyes. "Fine." He said stepping out and breezing past her into his bedroom, trying to shut that door instead, but Penny got her foot in it just in time. Sheldon stared down at her foot and then sighed loudly. "If you MUST know, I had a very uncomfortable REM cycle last night, I must be a touch out of sorts this morning."
Penny's shoulders relaxed and she looked at him sadly. "Aww, Sweetie, did you dream about Goofy again?"
"No." Sheldon looked at his feet before quickly looking at her. "Worse."
"Those creepy white haired guys from that time machine movie?" She guessed.
He shook his head quickly, "No."
She tried to push the door open more but he held it firm on his side, he was surprisingly strong she had to admit. "Well, what could be worse than that?"
He looked away, and his cheeks reddened slightly. "I don't want to tell you."
She banged on the door. "Come on Sheldon, you know I'm going to find out." She growled, before changing her voice to an authoritative tone. "They say that sometimes, when you have a bad dream, it helps to talk about it."
He looked at her suspiciously.. "Who's They?"
She waved her hand in irritation, "I don't know, you know, THEY."
"Really Penny, if you are going to quote someone.."
"Look," she interrupted him, "Would you rather tell Leonard?"
Sheldon froze, and considered it. "No."
She smiled. "Well, then, out with it!"
Sheldon took a deep breath. "You."
"What about me?" Penny frowned in confusion.
"I dreamed about you." Sheldon repeated. "Funny, I don't feel better. Is the feeling better supposed to be instantaneous, or am I going to have to wait?" He looked at her anxiously.
"Wait." Penny held up her hand. "You dreamed about me? And it made you uncomfortable? What was I doing, strangling you?"
Sheldon twitched. "Wrong kind of uncomfortable." He gazed at her willing her to understand.
Penny stared at him for a minute. "Like, sexually?"
Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I would say, physically, emotionally, and mentally." He replied sagely.
Penny blinked, and stopped trying to push her way into his room. "Look I may not be smart but that's no reason dreaming about me should be uncomfortable.."
Sheldon looked at her funny. "Well, OBVIOUSLY you are not as intelligent as I, but I don't think you are necessarily STUPID, Penny." He stopped trying to close the door.
Penny frowned. "Thanks, I think."
They stared at each other in silence for a minute.
"So, you dreamed about me huh? That's cool.."
She shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, sure, it's just a dream and it wasn't sexual, so..."
"I never said it wasn't sexual."
"We didn't actually have coitus of course." He mused.
They were both quiet as they heard the banging of drawers down the hall that meant that Leonard was awake. Their eyes met and Sheldon sighed, reached out a hand and drug her into his room, shutting the door and putting his finger to his lips.
"Why do we have to be quiet?" Penny whispered.
Aghast blue eyes met hers squarely. "Do you want to discuss this with Leonard?"
Penny thought for a second. "No."
Sheldon nodded and motioned to his bed. "Sit down."
Outside, Leonard stomped down the hall and into the bathroom, the water came on, and the door slammed.
Sheldon visibly relaxed."Now, what are we going to do about this?"
"Why, about you parading your naked self through my REM cycle, of course." He gave her a look. "What else would we be talking about? Physics?"
She glared at him. "I was naked?"
"Yes." He nodded. "I was very uncomfortable."
"Why? I'm not your type?"She sounded peeved.
He looked shocked. "I don't have a type."
"You're very attractive Penny, surely you've looked in mirror lately?" He waved his hand vaguely, "There is one in the bathroom you can use but Leonard's in there and I wouldn't recommend entering until at least a half an hour after he's vacated the space." He looked scandalised and pinched his nose. "He does NOT eat enough fibrous material."
Penny stared at him. "SO in which way did I make you uncomfortable then?"
He returned his focus to her. "Physically."
She raised an eyebrow. "Did I make you feel ill?"
"Worse." He blinked. "I enjoyed it."
Her jaw dropped.
He rushed to explain. "It was quite stimulating physically, only it was different from my Zena dreams, because there was butterflies in my tummy."
"And my brain turned off!" He sounded horrified again. "I couldn't remember the ninth element on the periodic table!"
"Which is?" Penny winced..
"FLUORINE!" He exclaimed, "You must know that!"
Penny nodded instantly, "Oh yeah, I was just testing you, that's all, seeing if you're mental powers have returned, that's all."
Sheldon gasped. "Thank you Penny!Thats very sweet!"
"Oh, sure sweetie, no problem!"
Sheldon held up his hand, "Now back to my problem, I really do feel better Penny, thank you, but what do I do about my dream?"
Penny pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Next time, tell me to put my clothes back on." She suggested.
"But what if I don't want you to?"
Penny smiled. "Then ask me to show you how the french kiss."
"I don't like kissing." Sheldon reminded her. "It's highly insanitary."
"You can't get germs from a dream Sheldon." She reminded him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." She nodded. "I'm very sure."
Sheldon considered carefully... "Ok."
"Good." Penny stood up. "I'm going to go get more coffee."