Hey, guys!

It's a miracle- a oneshot and iBaP update all in one day. I got this idea after seeing the Glee epi with Santana and Mercedes singing this song. I don't own iCarly, Converse, the song "The Boy is Mine" or MSN. Sadly.

BTW, I used MSN because it's the primary form of communication at my high school.

Read & Review!

The Dork is Mine

Sam Puckett was walking down the hall, books in hand, to her next class when she heard voices drifting down the hallway. Curious, she listened, and quickly discovered that they belonged to her nubby friend Fredward Benson and a girl whose voice she didn't recognize. Her curiosity peaked and she listened to what they were saying.

"You're a dork, dude," The girl told him.

Freddie's voice was muffled, but it sounded like he was saying, "Go away."

"Why?" The girl mocked. "Can't take it?"

Enragement flooded through Sam like never before. The last time she'd been this enraged was with the whole Jonah fiasco. She didn't understand the rage, nor did she try to. She just kicked her foot against the wall and kept listening.

"No," She heard Freddie say. "I already have someone making my life….sort of miserable every day, and that's Sam. I don't need another one. Sorry."

You tell her, Freddork! Sam cheered internally, then mentally punched herself. Why do I care?

The girl was probably upset. "Oh, yeah, Sam Puckett. Who cares about her? She's just the stupid school bully. No one even likes her. I would be much better at insulting you."

Freddie was quiet for a second before he spoke again. Sam held her breath. "I'm sorry, but the bell's going to ring soon and I can't be late for class again this semester or I'll get a detention slip."

"All right," The girl sounded disappointed. "Consider my offer, nubby boy. Goodbye."

"Bye," Freddie called politely, but as he walked off, Sam could hear him mutter, "Yeah, that's not happening any time soon."

Sighing in relief, she began to walk off. She didn't question this time why she even cared anymore.


Once she got home, she put her iTunes on shuffle. The song that came up first was "The Boy is Mine", and she thought about it for a second. Then, grinning evilly, she pulled up her MSN and typed in a new status.

Sam Puckett (Tuesday, 4:01 PM): I'm sorry that you seem to be confused, he belongs to me, the dork is mine.

Sighing contentedly, she leaned back against her comfy pillows when she heard the familiar dinging sound that indicated she had a new message.

Carly Shay (icarly4life): Um, Sam? Is ur status abt Freddie?

Sam panicked for a second, wondering how her best friend was able to read her like a book. Then she remembered, oh yeah, we're best friends.

Sam Puckett (samisham): uh, yeah.

Carly: Aw! U like Freddie! That's so cute.

Sam: Ew, no.

Carly: Well, what's ur status abt then?

Sam: I just…u know the new girl at school?

Carly: Kayli? She seems a lot like u. kinda aggressive and insulting from what I heard. I only talked to her 1 time, in Math class. But she just asked for a pencil

Sam: yeah, u know….

Sam: She rly likes Freddie.

Carly: Kayli does?

Sam: ya, and she wants him to drop me as a friend and take her on as his tormentor full time. I overheard their convo.

Carly: Rly? What did he say?

Sam: no.

Carly: rly? Aw, I'm so glad that u guys r finally getting along.

Sam: ya, I guess

Carly: well, I g2g

Carly: ttyl

Sam: yeah, ttyl

She was just about to log out of her MSN account when suddenly another message popped up. And this time, it wasn't from Carly.

Freddie: what the heck…who's ur status abt?

Sam freaked out for real this time. Even Freddie could tell that her status meant something; it wasn't just lines out of a popular song (with a word changed). He might even have figured out that it was about him, or (ew) assumed more…like that she liked him, in a sense of the word that implies something stronger than friendship.

She finally built up the courage to type something back

Sam: a friend.

Freddie: o.O

Freddie: kinda random

Sam: ur faces r freaking me out

Freddie: haha, so is ur status to anyone in particular?

Sam: ya, actually it is….

Sam: can I tell u something?

Freddie: sure, of course

Sam: a' ight, but remember, u asked for it

Sam: u know that new girl u were talking 2?

Freddie: Sure, Kayli. I got stuck showing her around.

Sam: well, I kinda overheard ur conversation

Freddie: oh… ah! My mom found out i'm on the comp, I'm grounded for not taking my flea shower like some kind of dog, rly sorry, but I gotta go, I'll explain at school tmr

Sam: well, bye dork.

Freddie: cya

Rolling her cerulean eyes, Sam logged off of her MSN account. Her stomach rumbled, so she dashed downstairs to get something to eat.

Some things never change.


"Hey, Sam," Freddie walked up to her at school the next day.

Sam looked him up and down. He was wearing his usual uniform of blue jeans, along with a dark blue polo and Converse. Preppy dork, she'd say. Safe to talk to. "Hi, Fredly."

"Look, about yesterday," he immediately began to explain. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm not taking Kayli up on her offer. I never even considered it."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I care about you," Freddie informed her, squirming a bit. "Even if you don't really care about me, I care about you."

"I do," Sam huffed. "You saw my status, dude. That's proof enough for you."

Chuckling, Freddie answered, "Yeah, I guess. I'm your dork."

"Yeah," Sam grinned at him. "You're my dorky best friend, and my favorite playtoy. And no stupid little wannabe is gonna change that."

Turning to smile at her, Freddie put an arm around her shoulders. She resisted the urge to exclaim "Ew! Gross!" and flick it off or something. Instead, she just let it rest there naturally. And actually, it felt a bit… good. Comforting, even.

"You know this doesn't mean that I'm gonna go all soft on ya," Sam muttered. "I'm not good with feelings and chiz, so I'm not gonna go in some rant like Carly would about how you're her best friend and you're so caring and all of that."

"You act like I wanted you to," Freddie grinned.

The ball rang, a horrible sound in both their ears. Sam groaned. "Late again. Aren't you gonna get a detention slip now?"

Freddie looked confused. "What?"

"You know, like you told Kayli," Sam reminded him. "You said if you got one more tardy then you would get a detention slip."

"Oh," Freddie snickered. "No. I just really wanted to get away from her."

"Wow, Frednub has an evil mind," Sam appraised.

Freddie's face lit up. "Believe me, I learned from the best."

She punched his arm softly, and they continued on walking.

Sam Puckett: (Wednesday, 3:40 PM): Need to give it up, had about enough, it's not hard to see, the dork is mine.

Many people leave notes in their A/Ns of why people should review. Why should you review on mine? Well, because it'd make me happy. Also, I had the worst dream ever last night, because it was something that could actually happen. Make me feel better?

Ha, I set my status to these lyrics on MSN (except with boy in place of dork) and got so many "…" messages.