It's been a long time, I'm embarrassed.
So many people have fav'ed my Beetlejuice fanfic and have fav'ed me as an author. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH 3
I'm finally publishing this as a thank you, though it isn't a Beetlejuice fic, but I hope you all enjoy this adorable story of Liane and her son.
Liane was sitting in front of the television, in her bathrobe, at three in the morning. It's become her new ritual since her son had turned the dreaded eighteen. Her son, her best friend in the whole world, was growing up, and she couldn't do anything about it. Soon he'd be graduating and leaving her to live his own life.
Liane, like all the other parents in South Park, didn't think her poopsikins was ready to be out in the world on his own. And she also knew that it was her fault. She had made so many mistakes while raising him. All she wanted was a friend while what he needed was a mother. She was a pushover and never disciplined her son for fear that he would grow to hate her. It never occurred to her that disciplining him was another form of love, and could actually be better than just showering him with gifts.
The single mother couldn't do it though, she could never get angry at her son. She thought she could when Cesar helped her, but that didn't last long. She felt too guilty to ever yell at him. After all, she was a crack whore, and it was her fault that Eric was a bastard, literally. How could she raise her voice at her son without being hypocritical?
All this and more ran through her head during those late nights when all that was on television were infomercials of the late Billy Mays. It was too late now, she can no longer protect him. Of course she'll always be there for him, but she was setting loose a broken person, and now everyone will see just how fucked up Eric Cartman was. Maybe Eric's father was right, and she shouldn't have had him…
"You stupid fucking whore! I thought you said you were taking the pill!" Jack Tenorman yelled at the sobbing woman he had been seeing for the past few months.
"I'm sorry Jack! Really! I just, I guess I forgot!" Liane Cartman had her face in her hands, tears streaming, how could she had forgotten to take the pill? She was so sure she took it everyday, there wasn't a single extra pill left at the end of the month, but she was pregnant.
"You guess you forgot? What kind of reply is that! Well you're definitely not keeping it!"
"What?" She raised her head.
"What do you mean 'what?' bitch. Do you really think you're keeping it? I have an actual family! And I can't let this ruin my career as a Denvor Bronco!"
"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you started sleeping with me! I'm not giving up this baby!"
"Why the fuck not! You're a whore, I'm sure you've had plenty of abortions before this!"
Those words stung. It was true that Liane was a notorious whore, she wasn't going to deny that. But she has never had an abortion before. She made sure she never had unprotected sex. The thought of killing a poor little thing because of how she conducted herself was unbearable.
"Jack, I'm only saying this once. I am NOT giving up this baby." She stood and stared at him defiantly as she said this.
Jack looked at her.
"Fine. But I do not want to see you ever again. Or it." He said with distain.
"Fine. The baby will never know who its father is. I'll raise it on my own, so you can go back to your perfect little wife and your perfect little son." At that moment Liane hated Jack's wife and his little son, Scott. She had never hated the family of the men she's been, but now she did, and she didn't like the feeling.
Jack just turned and walked out the door. Liane sat back down and put a hand over her stomach, what am I going to do?
Liane thought of the day she gave birth to her son. The baby was wiggling in her arms and she was cooing over him, thinking how cute and perfect he was.
"What are you going to name him, Mrs. Cartman?" The young nurse asked as she was bringing the new mother some lunch.
"Eric, I'm going to name him Eric." She smiled. Her face a glow as she held her baby's tiny hand with her finger.
"That's a good name." The nurse and the mother turned toward the door to see a ginger man standing there.
"Excuse me," the nurse finished setting up Liane's lunch and walked out the door quickly, feeling an unsettling tension rise in the room.
"What are you doing here?" Liane finally asked.
"He is my son, you know." Jack said as he walked closer to the two. The tiny baby recoiled into his mother's chest and she began to rub his back to calm him down.
"You already have a son, and he looks just like you. My son takes after me, see," she showed him the small tuft of chestnut hair, "so you can go now."
"Don't be like that Liane." Jack said smoothly, "he's my son, and if I want I can easily get custody of him. My wife won't protest, why the hell would she and leave all this?" He waved a hand over himself.
"I feel sorry for her, being married to such a man." She looked down at her baby.
"Oh please bitch, don't act like you're any better."
"At least I've never let anyone trap me." She looked straight into his eyes. How could she have ever been with such a revolting man?
"And what's this." He pointed at the baby. Liane held him closer.
"He's Eric. He's my son. And he'll love me no matter what and protect me when he gets older. He's not a trap, because I don't intend on having you be a part of my or his life. So please leave." Her voice shook, but she didn't want her baby taken from her and she didn't want to be having this conversation anymore. She just wanted to be left alone with her son.
"Fine, I'll go, but just you watch. When that boy grows up and learns who his dad is, he's going to hate you for hiding it from him and he'll beg me to take him in. Beg. Me." He leaned in and was just inches away from Liane's face. The baby began to cry.
"Leave. Now." Liane shouted. The man left. He had no real intention to take the baby away, especially now that he knows he didn't look like him. Even if he was still an infant, that chestnut hair was enough to comfort Jack into knowing that no one would think Eric was his.
"Shh, baby, shh. It's all right, he's gone now. Mommy's never going to let you go, all right." The baby's cries had calmed and Liane kissed his little forehead. Big, amber eyes were staring at her and she lifted him up to look him in the eyes. "Oh Eric, you're never going to hate me right? Or leave me. I love you, I'm your mother after all, and you're father is a bad man." The baby sneezed in response. Liane giggled and kissed her baby again.
"You're father may have been a bad man, but I'm a worst woman," Liane whispered to herself.
"What?" Liane was snapped out of her reverie and saw her son standing in front of her, looking concerned. She then noticed that the television no longer showed infomercials, but was now just static.
"Oh, hi sweetheart, how long have you been standing there?" She smiled. Eric might not be a ginger, but now that he was grown, he was certainly built like a football player. Tall, strong arms and legs, some girth still remaining in his mid-section, but he was no longer the chubby child he once was.
"I was going to the bathroom when I heard the tv and I saw you here." He said. He sat down next to his mom, turned on a lamp and turned off the television. "Are you okay?"
"Yes dear, I'm fine."
"Really? Because you're crying." He said pointedly. Liane looked away and touched her face, she was crying.
"Oh, it's nothing, dear. Go back to bed." She rubbed her face with the sleeve of her robe.
"Mom, why is it that you bitch and bitch at me until I tell you what's wrong, and you won't tell me anything, even when I find you crying by yourself in the middle of the night?" Eric rolled his eyes, getting annoyed with his mother.
"Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about me," she smiled at him. Her son laid back against the couch and sat there until his mom started talking to him. "Eric, I've just, I don't know, I've just been thinking about a lot of things. You're leaving soon, and I'm just scared, and I've been thinking about the day you were born, and when I brought you home. And I love you so much, but thinking back at everything, I know you deserve a better mom than me and I'm just so sorry that I'm such a failure. And…and…" Liane broke down.
She was a failure. She never conducted herself the way the other mom's did. She did drugs; she slept with anyone, sometimes for money, sometimes just because she wanted to. She was even bought off to protect the privacy of a man she hated, Jack Tenorman.
"Oh God mom, what a bunch of crap. Is that what you're fucking crying about? So what if you fucked up a little when you raised me? You're not the first mom to fuck up and you won't be the last. Besides, I'm old enough now to know how much of a shithead I am, but you never lost your temper with me. And Butters mom. Did you forget about that whole situation? Most parents would be in denial that they have a gay son, but you weren't. You helped me deal with all that and now I'm actually happy with that faggot. You're a great mom, what's getting you so upset?" Eric was actually besides himself. No matter how he treated his mother, he truly did love her, and he hated her feeling the way she did.
"Eric, you don't understand…"
"Yes I do. Mom, whatever you think you did doesn't matter anymore. It's done, I'm leaving this fall, and if I fuck up, then I fuck up. But it's going to be because of me, not you. You did what you could and that's all that was expected of you. You could have aborted me, you could have put me up for adoption, you could have even left me with that fucking ginger, but you didn't, and I'm glad you didn't." The thought of being raised by his father, of having Scott as his older brother, made his skin crawl, Denvor Bronco or not.
"You are?" She couldn't believe him.
"Yes! Mom, chill the fuck out. You're a great mom, and I don't want you to think otherwise, all right?" Eric was being sincere, something he wasn't very often, but something that had become easier to be as he grew up.
Liane nodded, but she couldn't stop crying. She never expected her son to say such kind words to her. Maybe he was right and she didn't mess up as much as she thought.
"I love you mom." Eric hugged his mother tightly. He meant it, and he wanted her to know it.
"I love you too sweetheart, so much," she hugged him back. She did love her little baby, she was proud of him, and she was proud of herself. All the bad times aside, Eric was a good son, he loved her, and that's all Liane wanted.
So what do y'all think?
I made Jack as wretched as I could so Eric could be justified in killing him, kind of be the hero and protector of his mom.
Plus, Denvor Bronco or not, our Cartman would never run into the arms of a ginger.
I don't know if I want to do more Liane/Cartman stories.
Let me rephrase that, I don't know if I'm going to make more. I love little stories between Eric and his mother, I don't know if I'll be inspired enough to do something this darling again.
And yes, in any South Park fic I do, if it isn't directly a Cutters fic (Cartman/Butters) than there will at least be a mention of them being together.
ALSO! I have a different version of this story, but I'm not going to post it up unless I get enough people telling me they're curious to read it.
It's basically the same thing, but pre-201. In other words, it's still about Eric's conception and birth, but I wrote it before we found out Jack was his father, so Liane is still a hermaphrodite in the other version.
As per usual, comments/critiques/questions are much appreciated and loved!
Toodles, and until next time 3
(PS. I've been working on some other stories, and those will come up soon, hopefully.)