Bella stood in the open air of Forks…exposed on all sides. The dark red bricks of the high school forced her eyes to water as she fixated on the front doors with unwavering vigilance.
She anticipated that Edward would walk out at any moment. He would be beyond rage because she skipped her last class to meet Jacob. He would somehow find out and she would have to deal with the consequences.
She tore her eyes away from the offending building to scan her surrounding green prison of trees. As usual, the leaves were a vibrant green from the morning rain and they seem to conspire with Edward by standing quietly and watching Bella. They were documenting her every move to report to him later. She shivered at the thought that all living beings were on Edward's side. It seemed that everyone wanted them to be together.
They were all on his side.
Her only friend had been Jacob Black. Edward, of course, had crushed her when he declared that she should not befriend him. Jacob's girlfriend, Leah, also had loud objections to them spending time together. Yet Jake had convinced Bella to skip her last class. They were going to take a ride on his new bike.
She would return to school before the end of the day and she would have to explain her whereabouts to Edward; she would not lie. She could not deny him anything.
He knew her, through and through. Since childhood, she knew that he was within her; he surrounded her. He had invaded her being and she was with him no matter where she was. Their connection seemed to defy all laws of nature. Like air, it was as if she inhaled Edward and he was surely a part of her.
No one could understand the pressure or the difficulty that encompassed being the object of Edward's affection. She didn't even understand his feelings for her. He always had a girlfriend, yet he would talk to her as if she was the only one who mattered to him.
It had always been this way between them.
He asked someone else to dances but he denied her the pleasure of even attending. And he would know if she decided to challenge him; he would stop her before she even built up the courage to get dressed.
She wasn't even free when they were in school. Because even though he didn't have any classes with her, he knew everything that happened in her classes. She knew that their friends told him what she did in his absence. They were his eyes and ears. In fact, they weren't even her friends, they were his friends and she inherited them when he decided that he wanted her.
Yes…Edward wanted Bella…just not yet.
That's what it felt like to Bella. Edward was holding her in queue, as if she was on his long list and he needed to keep her from experiencing anything with anyone else. He had preserved her until he was ready for her.
It was all too much…it had always been too much. She thought she had found a way out when she made her first friend that was all hers and not his. She thought Edward would understand her need to have a relationship that was normal and outside of his control. Why she even thought Edward could be compassionate was beyond her at this moment. She had seventeen years of proof that Edward was and would always be in control.
She just wanted to get away for a moment.
She heard the roar of a bike as Jake emerged from around the corner. His hair flowed freely in jet black streams from under his helmet. His leather jacket gleamed under the dim glow that pierced the clouded skies. He looked like a glorious black night come to rescue the meager maiden…for Bella never felt like a princess.
She glanced towards the building before running to Jake. He stopped quickly and handed her his extra helmet. Fumbling, she shoved the helmet on and shifted her backpack as she flung her frail body behind Jake, holding tightly to his waist. Neither said any words of greeting because they knew how fragile the situation was. Edward could walk out and literally pull her off the bike. Then he would see no problem with using his fist to create a new face for Jake.
When Jake felt that Bella had a firm grasp, he kicked into gear and was rewarded with a hearty roar. They were easing out of the parking lot when they heard glass shattering.
Edward was glaring at the pair.
There was splintered glass at his feet from the wide hole he had smashed in the door; but he did not seem hurt. Instead he seemed feral as he stood tall and lean. His jaw flexed and his eyes narrowed as he remained disturbingly motionless. Bella could barely see from her helmet but she gulped and turned her head in the opposite direction. She was now contemplating running away because he looked like fury personified. She was no stranger to his anger but she had never seen him in this calm rage.
Her dark locks bellowed in the wind as Jake picked up speed.
Before long, they were on the highway. Any other time she would have been angry with him because he was surely speeding, instead she was grateful. She hoped that Edward would be caught by an adult before he followed them. That passing thought nudged her to make a concerted effort to clear her mind and focus on the blur of green and brown streaking by. She ignored her hammering heart; she ignored the voice screaming for her to ask Jake to go back. She just focused on the blur of nature around her. Soon she could feel them go off the highway onto a dirt road. They were traveling though the forest. A part of her was curious, the other part merely collapsed in a heap because she wasn't on the highway.
She was safe for the moment.
When the bike stopped, Jake gently pried Bella's vice grip from around his waist. He helped her remove her helmet as they walked to one of the many ancient trees in the forest. He felt sorry for her but he would never tell her that. She had a tough life and she needed to have at least one real friend. That's why he risked fighting with Leah on a regular basis. This timid girl was being crushed by Edward Cullen and it seemed that no one was stopping him.
The two sat on the wet grass looking at nothing in particular. There was beautiful silence. It was eerie how Jake knew that all she needed was silence. That was the good thing about having a friend like Jake, sometimes he knew what Bella needed even when she didn't.
They didn't talk about what happened with Edward.
They simply existed.
Soon the light of the world departed and twilight left Bella and Jake in the dark. She rose first and dusted off her jeans. They both donned their helmets and got on the bike. Jake purposely took a long way to the Cullen home, now Bella's home too.
Bella could not fully enjoy the ride. This was her first act of defiance and she took in a deep breath, allowing the crisp earthy air of Forks fill her lungs. She didn't want Jake to drive her through the woods to the Cullen home; she was afraid of what Edward would do to him if he saw them. With this fear in mind, she dismounted near the highway.
They briefly hugged before she handed him the helmet. There was a quiet moment before Bella whispered goodbye to Jake. He felt his chest constrict when he looked at her weary eyes. If Edward couldn't see the burden his obsessive affections were having on Bella, then he was a blind man.
She looked back one more time and slowly walked down the long dirt driveway to her home. Her steps began to slow as her back disappear from Jake's sight, he had a terrible urge to follow her but he knew that she wanted to face Edward's wrath on her own. She was a brave soul. Edward would never harm her physically but he was a master of mental strategies. He had the ability to get anyone, adult or not, to execute his wishes without them being aware of their actions.
Memories seemed to drift from the trees lining the dirt road into Bella's head as she walked…
Bella remembered the day she was summoned to the principal's office. She remembered the drive in police cruiser as her father's deputy gave her timid glances through the rear view mirror. She remembered pressing her thin ten-year old frame into the seat and wondering where she was going. She knew she was heading to the hospital before she was there, due to her many visits over the years. She remembered the sterile air as she walked down the halls. The familiar faces of the nurses, who frequently treated her, were mournful on that day. She remembered sitting in Dr. Cullen's office waiting with the deputy who fidgeted behind her. She heard the quiet steps of Dr. Cullen before she saw him. He sat next to her, not in his chair with the desk separating them. She knew him not only from the hospital but from always being in their home. Edward would insist that she accompany him home everyday, so it was normal for her to be in his house with his family.
He had always been kind to her. She heard him tell her that her parents were killed in a car accident. She remembered his voice getting fainter and the sound of rushing air. She remembered he got her a tissue because her nose began bleeding.
Then she remembered nothing else that day.
She woke up in the Cullen home, in a small bedroom on the second floor. She trailed behind Esme all day as she prepared the funeral. Edward went to school but he gave her a hug before he left. She remembered he was really nice to her that day.
She didn't remember anything again until the day of the funeral.
She remembered standing in the cemetery holding Edward's hand but she refused to look at her parents in the coffin. She kept her head looking towards the sky as a light mist fell making her hair frizzy. She remembered the different shades of thick grey clouds and wondered if she could capture all the shades of grey that were in them.
These memories bombarded her as she walked in the dark. The trees seemed to be getting closer and her fear of the dark began to overwhelm her…until her pace increased and she started running to the lit house in the distance.
Bella was breathless as she entered the house. Emmett sat playing a video game as his girlfriend, Rosalie, flipped through a magazine. Bella could hear Esme in the kitchen cooking dinner. It was too early for Carlisle to be home. Maybe she could avoid Edward until after dinner.
"Hey Bella," Esme called her from the kitchen, "did you have fun with your friend? Edward said you were hanging out with a classmate."
"He told you what?"
Esme finally looked up from her preparation to take in a bewildered looking Bella. Her forehead creased as she noticed that Bella looked a little flushed. Then she smiled, "don't worry dear. He didn't tell me if it was someone you were interested in."
Bella's cheeks reddened when she realized that Esme thought she had been over a boy's house. She gave her a weak smile before tiptoeing to her room. She had to pass Edward's room before she got to hers; the only hope was to go unnoticed. Holding her breath, she inched closer to his room only to notice that his door was slightly parted.
Her heart was pounding but she heard something that made it stop all together. There was panting coming from his room.
His lights were off but the moonlight streaming through his large windows illuminated the graphic scene before her eyes. She had always known that Edward slept with whomever he wanted but she had never seen nor heard actual evidence to confirm this fact. It was simply known that Edward Cullen was wonderful in bed.
Now she was locked onto the scene before her.
Lauren Mallory was on her hands and knees and Edward was behind her. He looked like a work of art with his disheveled hair and toned physique as he moved inside her. Lauren's well-endowed chest swung back and forth like a pendulum as Edward moved. Her swollen red lips were parted as her face was flushed in ecstasy. If Edward even moved minutely Lauren panted and whimpered. She looked like she was trying hard not to scream in rapture. They were a moving masterpiece as the light from the moon bathed them in an icy blue tone. Their skin glimmered and Bella suddenly felt her heart sink.
She had always focused on what Edward did to make her dependant on him. Yet she never focused on what he did not do with her. Her never kissed her, never touched her like he was touching Lauren and never slept with her. The most he did was hold her hand or caress her face, it was almost infantile compared to what she saw before her eyes.
She used her shaky hand to cover her mouth as she choked on a sob. Continuing to her room, she sought shelter from her onslaught of pain as she entered her bathroom. Gratification that she could sink to the floor of her shower and cry only tempered the grief for a moment.
Bella realized that she wanted Edward. Yes he was manipulative and possessive when it came to her but she still wanted him. She wanted him to want her now. She wanted him to stop sleeping with all these girls; the pleasure he gave them was meant for her.
She just wanted him to want her…now.
Annotation: Please let me know if you want me to continue this fanfiction. This is my first Darkward fic and I don't know if this is interesting enough to spend time on.