A/N: Set in 2x18 :)

Haven't finished the second part yet so I have no idea when it'll be up, be patient with me please! Lyrics and title are from my new favourite song, by the amazing Cheryl Cole, YouTube the performance she did of it on The X Factor, she's incredible.

In my beginning, there was nothing, so empty, in the space between,
And you came in, turned the lights on, and created, what it's came to be,
Before I, pluck your wings, cover me please, spread your wings, cover me and…

Promise this, if I die before I wake oh
Promise this, take a time to say your grace
On your knees you pray for me
Promise this, be the last to kiss my lips
-Promise This, Cheryl Cole.

Part [1/2}

Mark stood watching as a familiar dirty blonde stood working away at the nurses station, he stared at her for a while trying to place her, but then it hit him, Death Grey, the feisty 23 year old he spent 6 months traveling around Europe with. That wasn't his plan. His plan was to work. But then he met Death and her friend Die and he decided to go along for the ride. For Death especially. His gorgeous sex buddy. He strolled up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around and her eyes instantly lit up.

"Miss me?" he smirked.

"Mark!" she almost squealed jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck "What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's a long story" he smirked "So Death, do I get a kiss for old times?" he said moving closer and closer to her face "You know you want to" he whispered huskily, Meredith let out a laugh, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Better?" she smirked as they pulled away, not caring that everyone was staring at them in awe.

"I missed you" Mark laughed, as Meredith went to speak Derek's fist came flying into Mark's face, Mark stumbled back a little clutching his cheek.

"What the hell was that?" Meredith exclaimed.

"That, was Mark" Derek hissed.

"Oh" Meredith said simply "Oh my god"

"Wait" Mark said with a slight wince "Are you, are you his lusty intern?"

"Yeah" Meredith whispered "You ass!" she said hitting him hard on the arm.

"Ahhh" he whined "Death!"

"Don't 'Death' me Sloan" Meredith smirked "You're an idiot, and you need stitches" she said inspecting his face "We'll talk about this later" she glared at Derek.

"Derek Shepherd!" the Chief shouted storming towards them.

"Richard, calm down" Addison said rushing over to him.

"Calm down! CALM DOWN! My head of neurosurgery is punching out people on my surgical floor and you're telling me to calm down!" he exclaimed "All four of you, conference room, now"

"But…." Meredith started.

"I also heard a rumor that a certain intern was kissing the man who was punched" the Chief glared "Get a suture kit and an ice pack and meet us in the conference room, ok?"

"Ok" Meredith said rushing off.


"Here" Meredith said walking into the conference room and holding an ice pack out to Derek who instantly refused.

"Put the ice pack on your hand Derek" said Addison.

"I don't…."

"Put the ice pack on your two million dollar a year hand" the Chief snapped, Derek instantly took the ice pack, Meredith moved to the other side of the table where Mark sat staring down at his hands, shifting nervously.

"Hop up" Meredith said patting the table.

"What?" he said looking to her.

"Sit up here so I can fix your face"

"Fine" he sighed, he stood up and slipped onto the table, Meredith stood in between his legs and started to clean the blood of the cut on his face.

"So" the Chief started "Is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on here? Meredith, why were you kissing this, man"

"I met Mark about 5 years ago when I was traveling around Europe with my friend Sadie, we met in, London wasn't it? It was all a bit of a...blur" she said with a laugh.

"It was London, I helped you get off the lions in Trafalgar Square because someone was a little scared of heights" he teased "And we hit it off, Death, Die and Sloan, causing trouble in every country in Europe" he laughed.

"Oh god, do you remember when we almost got arrested in Paris?" Meredith laughed.

"That was your fault" Mark smirked.

"Yeah, it kind of was" Meredith said sheepishly "Anyway, Die ended up heading home after 3 months, some family emergency, I wanted to go with her but she wouldn't let me because we'd spent so much time organizing it, she told me to stay with Mark and have fun, and, we did" she said with a slight grin.

"We had a lot of fun" Mark smirked.

"So basically, you're exes" the Chief said slowly "Who kiss each other every time they meet"

"We technically weren't a couple" Meredith shrugged "We were, friends" she said softly "And then it was the end of the 6 months and I had to get back to med school and Mark had work and, we just, lost touch"

"Ok" the Chief sighed "And Derek, why the hell did you punch him?"

"Because that's the bastard I used to call my best friend, until I found him in bed with my wife" he grimaced.

"Oh god" the Chief muttered under his breath.

"Me and you are having words later manwhore" Meredith said with a small smirk.

"Oh like you're so innocent" Mark grumbled "You were the one who organized the threesome in Amsterdam"

"MARK!" Meredith screeched slapping the back of his head over and over again blushing profusely "For gods sake seriously? You bring that up NOW! Oh god I could kill you sometimes! Chief, can I take him to get an x-ray now?" she asked not even bothering to attempt looking him in the eye.

"Yes, yeah go, go on" he stuttered, Meredith pulled Mark by the hand and pushed him towards the door, hitting him on the way out at each step.


"I am so mad at you right now" Meredith hissed as she examine Mark's x-rays "You just embarrassed me in front of my Chief of Surgery, who by the way used to change my diapers, the man I love and his wife! So thank you very much Mark Sloan you've just made my life a million times better"

"Sorry" he mumbled "Wait. You're in love with him!"

"Unfortunately yes" Meredith said biting her lip as tears gathered in her eyes "This is all your fault" she said hitting him hard on the arm "If you hadn't have slept with his wife he never would've come out here in the first place!"

"You're not the only one who's in love with someone they can't have Meredith" Mark snapped "I didn't just sleep with her for the hell of it, I fell in love with her, and I had to watch her hurting every single day because he could never be bothered to come home from work, he left her a long time ago Mer, he left her 2 years ago! He just stopped coming home, and I was the one he'd send over to eat the dinners she cooked for him, I even ate his anniversary dinner Meredith, she was broken, a mess, and one night when I told her again that he wasn't coming home she flipped out on me and starting screaming and hitting and, and it just happened, the next thing I know we're in her bedroom and Derek's standing at the door and, then he's gone. And y'know what, she stayed with me, she stayed with me and she told me she loved me and I screwed it up!" he shouted "I screwed it up because the thought of someone loving me scared the crap out of me! And I cheated on her, I cheated on her and then found out she was pregnant with my child, and I was happy, I was so happy, but then for some reason I cheated again, and she caught me, she got an abortion and was out here 2 weeks later taking the man you love away from you, so don't even try and blame this on me, if you want to blame anyone it should be Derek, and the only reason I haven't punched him in the last 2 years is because he's my brother, we grew up together, and I hate that I hurt him but he was the one who constantly hurt us, so don't, just don't Meredith"

"I'm sorry" Meredith whispered hugging him tightly "I'm sorry I'm just, I'm so mad at him and, I just can't, I'm, I'm a mess Mark"

"I'm a mess too" Mark mumbled against her hair "She won't come back with me, I know she won't"

"Then why are you here?" Meredith asked softly.

"I just needed to see them, I don't have anyone anymore, I just needed to know they were ok"

"I think they are Mark" she said stroking his bruised cheek tentatively.

"We're just a pair of dirty mistresses huh" Mark said with a sad laugh.

"Yeah, I guess we are" Meredith sighed "Why don't we go and get some lunch, and try not to bump into the Chief, Derek or Addison, I can't believe you said that in front of them" she said with a laugh.

"Sorry" Mark smirked "That was a really good day though wasn't it" he said with a grin "Seeing you touching that girl" he said inching closer to her body "Hottest thing I've ever seen" he whispered huskily in her ear.

"Mark" Meredith whined stop doing that.

"Doing what?" he laughed.

"Your sex voice, stop it" she said firmly "Come on, lunch" she said dragging him from the room.


"This is unbelievable" Cristina laughed as she sat with Meredith, Mark and Izzie in the cafeteria.

"I know right" Meredith said with a sigh "It's insane"

"Y'know what I find a little funny" Mark said with a small smirk "Derek walks in on me naked with his wife, actually in the sheets, and he just turns around an walks away, but as soon as he sees me with you, I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting don't you think?"

"He has a point" Izzie smirked.

"There is no point" Meredith said firmly "Stop it Mark, we're not talking about them anymore ok? There's been enough drama for one day"

"Why is it always you?" Cristina said with a laugh "It's like you're cursed"

"Tell me about it" Meredith muttered "Oh god" she groaned as Derek walked passed their table with a slight glare "This is all your fault" she hissed hitting Mark "Everytime he looks at me he's going to think I'm a dirty whore who sleeps her way around Europe"

"Well…." Mark started "Kidding" he said with a laugh as she glared at him "I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean to say that in front of them"

"What did he say?" Izzie asked curiously.

"Just that Meredith was the one who organized a threesome for us in Amsterdam"

"MARK!" Meredith exclaimed with a blush.

"Oh my god" Izzie and Cristina laughed.

"I was young and stupid and, oh god" Meredith groaned dropping her head onto the lunch table "My life sucks"

"Oh cheer up Death" Mark said with a laugh "Come on, let's go and get drunk tonight, for old times sake"

"Fine" Meredith groaned "But I am not sleeping with you"

"Did I say you had to sleep with me?" Mark smirked.

"No" Meredith smirked back "But I know your mind Mark Sloan"

"True" he laughed "Ok well, I'm gonna get going, leave you to work, where shall we meet?"

"The bar across the street" Meredith smiled "See you later manwhore"

"See you later slutty mistress" Mark said pecking her lips "Bye ladies"

"Bye" Cristina and Izzie both said, checking him out as he walked away.

"Meredith Grey you lucky little bitch" Izzie said with a laugh "You get McDreamy and it turns out you have McYummy too"

"Oh, no no no" Cristina said shaking her head a little.

"No?" Izzie frowned.

"McSexy?" Meredith suggested.

"No" Cristina sighed.

"Oh, McSteamy" Meredith said with a slight grin.

"There it is" Cristina laughed "So, a threesome, seriously?"

"Shut up" Meredith groaned "I have work to do, you should both try it some time" she said as she walked away.

"Should we even bother betting on whether they'll sleep together or not?" Izzie smirked.

"Nah, it's too easy" Cristina said with a laugh.


"To the Dirty Mistresses of Europe" Mark said raising his beer "May we live long and prosper"

"Cheers" Meredith laughed tapping her tequila shot against it and knocking it back.

"So, how was work after I left?"

"Well, I couldn't look anyone in the eye" Meredith said with a laugh "I'm ok with my friends knowing since they torture me about my dirtiness anyway but I really hate the gossiping nurses and having to avoid the eyes of all my bosses, I got the evil eye from Dr Bailey all day, she almost killed me when she found out about me and Derek and now you've turned up, they've pretty much all confirmed in their minds that I'm a slutty whore who sleeps with world class surgeons"

"Well if they think that then they're stupid Mer" Mark said softly "You're not a whore, whore's cheat, you've never cheated"

"No, I guess not" Meredith said quietly "I'm just the idiot who falls for a guy who has a secret wife" she said knocking back a shot.

"I'm just the idiot who falls for his best friends wife" he smirked "And I'm a whore so, I think I may win this one"

"Yeah, I guess you do" Meredith laughed "So, when are you heading back to New York?"

"Tomorrow I guess" Mark shrugged "I'll stay longer if you need me too" he whispered huskily in her ear.

"Mark" she whined "You're doing it again"

"Doing what?" Mark laughed.

"Your sex voice, stop it, I'm not sleeping with you again, it would be, a really bad idea" she said shifting nervously as he nuzzled slight at her neck.

"Oh come on Mer, for old times sake" he whispered kissing her slowly, Meredith let out a slight moan as their tongues tangled together.

"Well, maybe just, the once" Meredith breathed against his lips, Mark threw some money on the counter, took Meredith's hand and pulled her out of the bar.

"Told you it was too easy" Cristina smirked as herself and Izzie watched them leave.


"Oh my god" Meredith panted as she collapsed against Mark's body "That was incredible"

"Someone's learnt some new moves" Mark grinned, rolling them over so he lay between her legs, their lips coming together softly "I've really missed you" he said brushing the hair off her face.

"I've missed you too" Meredith said softly "We were really crappy at staying in touch huh"

"Yeah" Mark sighed "But this time, this time we won't be, we'll be better"

"Definitely" Meredith smiled, Mark moved so they lay side by side, their legs tangled together, their arms around each other, their lips softly touched.

"Y'know" he started "You were the first girl I ever had real feelings for, and I didn't even realize it until after we went back home, but I just, I couldn't make the step, I could've come after you, or asked you to come to New York, but I just, I got scared I guess"

"D'you think we would've made it?" Meredith asked quietly "If we'd have really tried, d'you think we would've, been something, no cheating or lies, just me and you"

"I like to think so" Mark said softly.

"Yeah, me too" Meredith said with a small smile "I wish you didn't have to go"

"I don't have to go"

"You kind of do" Meredith said with a laugh "You have your practice and, it's not like you could move here, Derek would kill you for one"

"Why? It's not like I'm staying for Addison, I'm staying for you, my friend, that's not his business, you're not his business, right?"

"Of course I'm not his business" Meredith said with a slight scoff before sighing a little "I'm trying to get over him Mark, I really am, he's just, I can't, I'm really trying"

"I know baby" Mark said softly "It's not easy, I'm trying to get over her too, it sucks but, it'll happen, he's an idiot for messing you around, you don't deserve that"

"Hmm" Meredith sighed "I just don't know what to do anymore, how to, get over him"

"You just have to, give yourself a reality check, he isn't with you, he's with her, and even though it hurts that's just the way it is, you deserve better than someone who can do that to you, to let you fall for him when all along he had this wife who he'd give a second chance, it'll hurt, and sometimes you'll want to give up, but in the end it'll be worth it, because you'll come out the other side stronger and happier and, free, to do anything you want with whoever you want"

"God, what happened to you" Meredith said softly, her thumb brushing against his cheek "When did you get so, full of wisdom? We're supposed to be scary and damaged forever"

"Oh trust me, I'm still scary and damaged" Mark said with a slight laugh.

"Good" Meredith smiled "Would you really move out here for me?"

"You need me" Mark said pulling her closer into his arms, their bodies molding together.

"We're not sleeping together again though ok?" Meredith said with a sigh "I just, I don't think either of us need that complication right now"

"I know" Mark said kissing her forehead "But this was, amazing Meredith"

"It was" Meredith smiled.

"Give me a week, I'll fly back tomorrow, organize all my stuff, and I'll be back in a week, I'll stop by the hospital tomorrow morning before my flight, see if Webber will look me in the eye long enough to be able to give me a job"

"God he changed my diapers Mark, and now he's going to look at me and think 'threesome in Amsterdam'"

"Sorry" Mark said with a slight laugh "He'll get over it"

"Hmm" Meredith smirked "Ok, sleep now" she yawned, snuggling further into his warm body "I have pre-rounds"

"Ok" Mark whispered kissing her forehead "Love you Death"

"Love you Sloan" Meredith smiled.


1 week later.

Mark stood leaning against the wall opposite the elevators on the surgical floor waiting for Meredith to arrive, 3 loads of staff had already arrived, as the elevator doors opened for a third time he looked up, an instant smile coming to his face as he spotted Meredith.

"Hey!" Meredith beamed stepping out and hugging him tightly "You should've told me you were here I would've picked you up at the airport"

"And spoil the surprise?" Mark smirked "I just wanted to check that we're ok for lunch, I'm signing paperwork and stuff all morning, trying to organize the plastics guys, they're the most unorganized bunch of doctors I've ever met, and it's my job to pick up the pieces"

"Oh stop whining, you're getting to be bossy, you love being bossy, did you get a buyer for your practice by the way?"

"Yeah, all sorted, I'm free of all things New York Death, I'm here, and I'm here to stay" he said with a slight grin.

"You're what?" Derek exclaimed, as Mark had spoke the other elevator had opened and Addison and Derek stepped out of it.

"And there it is" Meredith groaned.

"Meredith needs me" Mark said firmly "So I'm staying, you don't even have to look at me Derek, it'd be nice if you'd actually listen to what I have to say, and accept that I'm sorry, but that's your call, I'm staying in Seattle, whether you like it or not"

Derek just made a disgusted noise and stormed off.

"Are you trying to torture him Mark? Seriously?" Addison hissed.

"You're the one who still hasn't told him the truth" Mark said firmly "I won't tell him, but you should, he deserves to know Addison"

"He will kill you! He'll kill both of us! Do you really want that to happen?" Addison exclaimed.

"Of course I don't" Mark sighed "Believe me Addison, if I could, I'd go back and I'd change things, I've ended up loosing my best friend and the woman I love because of my selfishness, I'm staying here, I'm staying here because I need a friend, and she needs one too, this is nothing to do with you, you're going to need to get used to the fact that I'm here and I'm staying, if you don't like it, go back to New York" he shrugged before turning to Meredith "I need to go and sign some stuff, I'll see you for lunch" he said kissing her cheek before leaving.

"I won't say anything to Derek" Meredith said quietly to Addison who stared at her still slightly stunned "It's not my place, just like Mark isn't yours, he's all I've got, and I know once he was all you had too, so please, just leave him be, leave us be, even knowing how much you've hurt him I still like you Addison, and I know you did everything for the right reasons, and believe me I'll tell him that, but you can't punish him for loving you, or for being here, you've all made mistakes, we've all made mistakes, this is the time to fix them" she said softly, Addison merely nodded before walking away, Meredith let out a heavy sigh before heading to the locker room.


2 months later.

"You look beautiful tonight" Mark said softly as he danced with Meredith at the prom.

"Thank you" Meredith smiled "You don't look to bad yourself"

"Y'know" Mark said with a whisper in her ear "I think we could sneak off for half an hour, nobody would know"

"Mark" Meredith sighed "We said we weren't going to do this again"

"But what if I said I wanted you" Mark said quietly "What if I said, these past 2 months have made me fall for you all over again"

"Are you saying that because you want sex or because you mean it?" Meredith asked innocently.

"Because I mean it" Mark said honestly, Meredith pulled him into a kiss, ignoring the fact that they were being watched by everyone, they hung their heads a little as they rushed out of the room.


"Where the hell have you been?" Cristina hissed as Meredith and Mark walked back into the prom.

"Um…" Meredith started.

"That doesn't matter" Cristina said with a sigh "It's all kicking off with the Shepherds, they've been really snappy with each other all night and I think they're about to blow"

"Oh crap" Mark groaned "She told him didn't she"

"Yep" Meredith nodded "She told him"

"Told him what?" Cristina asked with a frown.

"We um, Addison and me we uh, were kind of a couple after he left New York" Mark said quietly "For 2 months"

"Wow" Cristina muttered, before anyone could say another word Derek came storming towards Mark, his fist connecting with his jaw.

"DEREK!" Meredith shouted.

"You bastard!" Derek shouted going to hit Mark again, this time Mark grabbed his arm and shoved him back.

"I'm the bastard?" Mark exclaimed "You were the bastard who left his wife alone for 2 fucking years because his job was more important"

"And you just had to swoop in and save the day didn't you Mark" Derek spat.

"It wasn't like that!" Mark snapped back "I was in love with her, I was in love with her for years and I never did anything about it because you were my best friend, my brother, but when I went to your house for the 5th night in a row that week because you couldn't be bothered to go home and I found her sat at the bottom of the stairs crying her heart out just like I found her every time you sent me to eat the dinners she cooked for you, I gave in, I wanted to make her feel better, I wanted to make her feel wanted, and for some stupid reason I thought she wanted me back, but the truth is, the only reason she stayed with me was because she didn't want to believe she'd thrown her marriage away on a one night stand, and you're hardly one to talk, you came out here and let Meredith believe she'd found the one, and you knew that's how she felt, you can call me all the names under the sun, I know I'm a manwhore, I know I've made mistakes, I know I'm a bad guy, I'm not pretending to be a good guy, but you are, you act like your Mr Perfect, you always have! But you're not, you are not the guy who I called my best friend, my brother, you've changed Derek, and I don't want to know this you, I want nothing to do with this Derek"

"Well I don't want anything to do with you" Derek spat "You've always had to have everything that's mine, always, ever since we were kids, every girl that came near me you went after, you had to have everything and everyone, but I guess now you've found the perfect woman huh? She's exactly like you, a dirty little whore"

Mark didn't even take a second before hitting Derek in the face, sending him straight to the floor in one punch, the quiet room let out a loud gasp, Addison was sobbing into her hands, Meredith had angry tears falling from her eyes, her fists clenched at her sides.

"If you ever, ever talk about her in that way again I will kill you" Mark growled "Who the hell are you Derek? Come on Mer, let's go" he said taking Meredith's hand and pulling her from the room.

"We need, we need to clear up your, face, and hand" Meredith sniffled.

"It's fine" Mark said quietly "I have a suture kit in my apartment"

"But you need an x-ray and…."

"Mer" Mark said with a whisper "I really just need to go home, I think I just lost the closest thing I had to a family forever, I need to go home"

"Ok" Meredith nodded "Ok" she said softly.

[2/2] to follow…