A/N: Thanks to the amazing makesmyheadspin, this idea planted itself firmly in my brain. What we have here are bits from the journal of NerdStud, the amazing Eric from my story Studybuddies. I've gone back to the beginning of the story, so this is when NerdStud was still just a NerdVirgin.
I'll be posting everything for this unbeta'd because it's just something fun I want to do from time to time, so please excuse any errors.
This journal belongs to:
Just after the start of the fall semester…
I finally have something to look forward to every day. There was a girl in the library, one that's different from the rest. She's quite beautiful. Probably what one would describe as an All-American kind of girl. Blonde, blue-eyed, curvy in the places that should be, and hopefully (because I haven't seen it) has a smile that lights up a room.
She's been in the library every day for a week, and she sits in the same seat, so I'm pretty sure it's habitual. I don't know if she's noticed me yet, but even if she never does I will continue to admire her. Not in a creepy way. Just in the I-have-a-crush kind of way. I wish I knew her name.
I still haven't made any friends here. Living in the dorms may have helped, but I wouldn't have been able to tolerate it. It's not a big deal, I suppose. I'm used to being alone.
One Week Later…
She smuggles a soda into the library. I saw her sneak a few drinks of it today. It's Sunkist. I feel like she and I share some sort of a connection through our mutual sneaking of food and drink into the library. I'm food, she's drink. She also bites the end of her pen when she concentrates. Still haven't seen her smile yet.
In other news, my professor told me that I lack the life experience to put real emotion into my writing. She suggested that I go out and volunteer places or just generally socialize with my peers. I don't see why she thinks it would be a good idea to spend time with those people. All they do is get drunk and have sex with each other. What's appealing about that?
Seven Weeks Later…
She finally smiled. When I got up to leave today I looked at her, and found that she was looking right back at me. The only thing I could think to do was smile, so I did, and she smiled right back. I'm sure she was only doing it to be polite. I don't really care though, because her smile could cure cancer. It's like all of the goodness in her soul shines right through her eyes when she smiles. Aunt Sophie would have loved her.
The Next Day…
Her name is Sookie, and I do hope I'm spelling that right. She sounds like what I imagine an angel would. I am almost positive that she likes me too. It all went down because I saw her running through the quad, obviously late, and she couldn't get to the soda machine to get her Sunkist. I got it for her, and when I got to the library I set it on the table in front of the seat next to mine. She took the invitation, thanked me, introduced herself, and then studied next to me until I left.
Frankly, I have no idea where my confidence came from, though I still remained quite introverted, considering. I asked if I would see her tomorrow, and she nodded, so I shall see. I think I may have made my first friend.
A Few Weeks Later…
I attacked her. There's no other way to describe it. My hands are still shaking. Everything was fine, we were sitting there, studying, and she got up to get a book, and it was like I was possessed or something. I followed her, and kissed her. I actually had her pinned against the shelves, and I'm pretty sure I felt her up. She probably thinks I'm some sort of sexual deviant. If only she knew just how much I'm not. She was only my second kiss.
Christ, what does that even matter? She probably never wants to see me again. I may have just ended the only friendship I have. And what if she's already got a boyfriend? She kissed me back, but it's still possible. It's not like I was giving her much of a choice. A girl that beautiful must have a boyfriend. I suppose I can take comfort in the fact that if she does have one, he's a shitty one. She spends every evening at the library. If she was my girlfriend I would be spending every moment I could with her. She could be the girl I've been waiting for.
I think if she shows up tomorrow, I'll ask her on a date. There's a great chance I'll chicken out, but I will try not to. Something tells me she's worth it.