The Life Of A Dark Master
I
War Council Complainers


Piemon, the leader of the group known as "The Dark Masters." He was feared by all, just the sight of him brought out a terror that could only be rivaled by "It" or The Joker, and Piemon liked to believe that was up to debate - He was the scariest of clowns. The Joker and Pennywise had nothing on him! If anyone thought clowns were funny before meeting him, they'd change their mind after just a handshake.

His fellow Dark Masters, of course, were just as menacing: Pinocchimon - A twisted puppet out of Gepetto's worst nightmares. And Mugendramon - The "infinite dragon," a cold, calculating machine equipped with the strongest of cannons. Together they formed The Dark Masters. The reason for their alliace? The complete conquest of The Digital World, of course! What else would a group of all powerful Digimon with a name like "The Dark Masters" be up to? Knitting?

Of course, they needed help. Three Digimon cannot hope to take over the entire Digital World. Oh, no, no, no...Piemon needed help. He was even considering a fourth position among the "Dark Masters," should a worthy Mega-level Digimon appear before him. He did have a few good allies, but they didn't quite fit the profile of a "Dark Master," though one came frighteningly close...

The three "Devi brothers," as they were sometimes known, were Piemon's closest allies. Two-thirds of them at least. Devimon, the middle, served as Piemon's chief strategist. He may just be a champion level but he was one of the few champions that Piemon thought of as an equal, an honor not even most megas could hope for.

The eldest, Vamdemon, was Piemon's right hand man and ruler of a majority of the Server continent. He was as serious as they came and twice as strong. The youngest Devi brother, who hardly deserves mention, was PicoDevimon...Vamdemon's, lesser right hand mon ("right pinky" would be more fitting, but still a bit of a stretch). The Vampire would deny any relation, of course, and severely punish the little flying bowling ball for breathing a word of that "horrible rumor."

The other ally was one that Piemon...was not proud of. The "tech support" of the group - Etemon. Etemon was,,,"different," to say the least. The self-proclaimed "Digimon King," he was a genius when it came to programs and technology. His "Dark Network Project," when complete, will give The Dark Masters control over any portion of the Digital World remotely. Etemon has been testing the project in his domain, the deserts of Server.

And speaking of Server and its two rulers...

Piemon sat in his "war chamber," a decorated room in a once abandoned palace on Server. It was the unofficial headquarters of the Dark Masters, where they would plan their conquest with their subordinates.

Piemon turned to the doorway as he heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

LadyDevimon stepped into the room, bringing a tray holding a snifter of brandy. "Good evening, Lord Piemon."

"LadyDevimon," Piemon smiled. "and you brought my favorite drink, what a pleasant surprise...What's gone wrong?"

LadyDevimon chuckled, bringing Piemon his drink. "You have an unexpected visitor tonight. Our resident Night Flyer."

"Oh, Vamdemon?" Piemon took his drink, sipping it. "Bring him in, give him a drink. Surely there's some servant we can drain a pint or two from."

"I'll get right on it," LadyDevimon smiled. She walked off.

Piemon sat at the purple upholstered chair at the head of the table. On the table itself was a carved map of the Digital World. The table had just arrived, made by Pinocchimon's finest. The twisted little bastard knew his trees and woods...Almost as well as his guns.

Vamdemon stepped into the room. He gave Piemon a light bow. "...Lord Piemon."

"Vamdemon, have a seat," Piemon smiled, motioning to a number of chairs to one side of the table. The other side was reserved for Mugendramon, who was...a bit big for a chair, to put it lightly. A special path to the chamber was made solely for him and Digimon of his size. Piemon did mind how it looked, but Mugendramon's presence was, unfortunately, more important than his taste in home design.

"Thank you." Vamdemon sat down. LadyDevimon returned with a glass filled with a red liquid and brought it to Vamdemon. "...What vineyard?" He said as he sipped.

"Some Evilmon I caught sneaking food yesterday."

"Hm, a bold flavor. I'll remember that the next time I'm...at the market, let's say. Thank you."

LadyDevimon made her exit. Piemon sipped his drink, asking, "So what brings you?"

"I have come to formally complain about the current division of land." Vamdemon said.

"...Vamdemon, we gave you more than three quarters of Server. In fact, you have the largest land ownership out of all of us. What could you possibly have to complain about?" Piemon asked, almost offended.

"My complaint is that the remaining quarter of Server is ruled by a rock and roll obsessed primate," Vamdemon replied.

"What could be so bad about that? I know Etemon is...A little obnoxious at times, but..."

"He plays music loud enough for me to actually hear it despite the distance between us. His idea of being a 'good neighbor' was to throw a 'Welcome Batsy' barbecue in the middle of my castle's courtyard-without any warning-which has caused significant smoke and fire damage as well as left what I can only hope is not a permanent odor of charred meat."

Piemon nodded. "I see."

"His Dark Network project has gone haywire to where it is effecting all television and radio signals in my domain. Though that is more of a problem for PicoDevimon than myself..."

"...You miss your soaps, don't you, Vamdemon?" Piemon smiled, Vamdemon is not one to acknowledge the existence of PicoDevimon unless he absolutely had to.

Vamdemon glanced away, quickly saying, "And, if I failed to mention it already, he is a rock and roll obsessed primate! I am at my wits end and all attempts to deal with him in a peaceful manner have been fruitless."

"...And attempts in a non-peaceful manner?" Piemon asked.

"Equally fruitless, but I at least feel a little bit better afterward."

Piemon sighed, "Complaint noted, I shall have a talk with Etemon about his behavior and music."

"Lord Piemon, I do not think that logical and coherent speech are skills that Etemon possesses. You would be wasting your time."

"Then I will have Pinocchimon speak with him."

A smile crept across Vamdemon's face. "If that is so, I will happily buy the bullets."

"I meant that they can talk on the same level."

The smile left Vamdemon's face, he said, "Lord Piemon, you put too much faith into one of them - But for the life of me, I cannot figure out which."

Piemon smiled. "Which is why the results will be most interesting, don't you think, Vamde-kun?"

Vamdemon rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his glass. "I simply want a good day's sleep, where I do not have to worry about Etemon waking me up or causing chaos in my domain."

"Well, we are having a war council tomorrow. I'm sure there's a couch somewhere in this place you can sleep on."

"I am not one to 'crash' on a couch," Vamdemon replied. "But I thank you for the offer."

"Oh, yes, you prefer coffins, right? Have yours brought over, I wouldn't mind. It would be like a sleepover!"

"...A sleepover?"

"Yes, I can just imagine the fun we'd have! Staying up late, drinking hot chocolate and using some Evilmon for target practice! Oh, it would be great!"

"...I would not object to the latter."

"But you would the former?" Piemon asked. "What could you possibly have against hot chocolate, Vamdemon?"

"The lack of blood protein."

"Oh, fine, we'll stick some O+ in the microwave for you, then! But you're still going to have at least three marshmallows in it! What do you say?"

"A day away from Etemon is tempting. I'll have Phantomon bring my coffin. Thank you." Vamdemon stood and bowed his head. "I'll go give the order to Phantomon."

"I'll be right here, getting that hot chocolate ready," Piemon said.

Of course, Piemon was mostly joking about the "sleepover," he and Vamdemon did spend some of the night discussing their objectives while Phantomon went to fetch the vampire lord's coffin.

"How is the search for the crests?" Piemon asked.

"Gennai hid them well. All we know is that they are on Server, and I'm afraid we may never find even one of them," Vamdemon replied, taking a sip of his drink.

"A pity. At least try to get courage and friendship, I have a feeling those will be the most annoying."

"What about the tags?"

"Devimon has something about that he wants to bring up during tomorrow night's war council, but I don't know what," Piemon said. "I doubt he found them, though. He would have told me of their destruction. Get rid of the tags and their crests will be useless, after all."

"I'll continue my search, but I hope Devimon has better success than I'm having."

"He's quite resourceful, he figured out the secret behind those black gears after all. Pinocchimon is begging him to let him have a try at them."

"What could Pinocchimon possibly want to do with black gears?"

"Hm, I would ask him but...Anything Pinocchimon considers 'entertainment' is something that tends to give me nightmares, Vamdemon."

"If that's the case..." Vamdemon trailed off, sipping his drink.

"Out of curiosity, what would you do with black gears?"

"That depends entirely on whether or not I can use Etemon as a test subject for them."

"And if you could?"

Vamdemon smiled. "I would enjoy his existence, as well as the sweet sound of his screams for mercy. That, especially compared to what he plays, is what I consider music."

"Oh, you are a cold one," Piemon chuckled. "Don't forget, though, he is our 'tech support,' if you will."

"And why is Mugendramon not in that position?"

"Mugendramon is a machine and he lacks the ability to use a keyboard." Piemon shrugged. "That and I already hear 'I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave' enough from his as it is. The last thing I want is him in control of The Dark Network and giving me that attitude."

"...He calls you 'Dave?'"

"...Strangely enough..." Piemon trailed off. "I think it's a software bug, because I cannot imagine him with a sense of humor."

Vamdemon sipped his drink, wondering how an insane Digimon like Piemon could ever hope to control the Digital World - Let alone be as powerful and fearful as he is... ...Then again, given that he has near unlimited power and the strength most megas could only dream of - His warped sense of humor made him even more terrifying. Vamdemon felt a chill down his spine as he realized that. He let out a quiet shudder.

"...I know that sound..." Piemon smiled, eying Vamdemon with a laugh.

"I'm sure you do."


Vamdemon went to "bed" around sunrise, Piemon retired for the night a bit after midnight.

The next day was mostly uneventful, aside from rounding up some poor helpless Digimon for Vamdemon's "breakfast" that evening. PicoDevimon almost being one of them until the Evilmon that caught him was "corrected" by Piemon...By trading places with PicoDevimon.

The next evening, Piemon waited again in his war chamber. His drink of choice this evening being red wine, LadyDevimon was fetching it.

Vamdemon was the first to arrive, letting out a quiet yawn.

"How did you sleep?"

"The best sleep I have had in months, thank you," Vamdemon replied. "I almost wish I didn't have to wake up."

"Oh, care to stay another night?"

"Depends on how the talk with Etemon goes," Vamdemon replied.

"Speak of the Devil."

"Etemon?" Vamdemon turned to the entrance. "...Oh, that Devil."

Devimon stepped into the council, bowing low. "Lord Piemon, Elder Brother."

"Good evening, Devimon. Have a seat." Piemon motioned to the chair to his right. Not even Vamdemon had the honor of sitting next to Piemon...Not that Vamdemon complained, distance from Piemon was... ...A good thing, even if he liked you.

Devimon took his seat.

"Let's...plaaaaay..." An ominous voice echoed through the halls. The sound of running footsteps followed shortly after.

"...Great. He's here..." Vamdemon sighed, Devimon gave an agreeable nod.

Pinocchimon charged into the council, he ran past Vamdemon and gave him a slap on the back. The Vampire barely caught himself on table...Despite the look of the two, the puppet was actually the stronger one. "You're it!"

"I am not playing..." Vamdemon said.

"Fine, you!" Pinocchimon went after Devimon, Devimon shifted in his chair. "HEY!"

"Pinocchimon, save it for later," Piemon said in a warning tone. Though it rarely had a profound effect on Pinocchimon.

"Aw..."

Devimon, eyes wide, gave Piemon a look that said 'THANK YOU for saving me from that crazed marionette from Hell.' It was one he often gave him, much to his displeasure.

Pinocchimon sat down next to Vamdemon, putting his hand on the seat next to him momentarily. He put his hands together, twiddling his thumbs and looking away with a whistle.

"...I assume the poor soul who sits in that chair is in for a nasty surprise, right?" Vamdemon asked.

"...Maaaaaybe..."

Vamdemon was about to speak against the prank, until he realized who the next 'victim' was... "...Carry on."

The twisted puppet gave Vamdemon a wicked smile. "Thanks, Batsy."

"...Please don't call me that..."

The next guest to enter was Mugendramon, though his special entrance. Despite his size, he somehow moved without much more than a low humming...Some sort of hover mechanism or well-made and lubricated wheels - No-one was sure. "...GREETINGS."

A few minutes passed, the group of Digimon waited silently.

"...Where the hell is Etemon?" Vamdemon finally broke the silence.

"You actually want to see him, Vamdemon?" Piemon asked.

Vamdemon glanced to Pinocchimon. "In some way."

"Oh, I get it." Piemon chuckled. "I told you our little wooden friend had his uses."

"May I borrow him next April First?" Vamdemon asked.

"By all means..."

The sound of a guitar riff rang loud through the halls. Everyone but Mugendramon (for obvious reasons) covered their ears, the noise was incredibly loud.

A Gazimon stepped into the doorway, holding a microphone. "Presenting, the King of the Digimon, the Rock and Roll Legend... ETEMON!"

Etemon proudly strode into the war chambers, the Gazimon bowed low. "Thank you! Thank you very much, everyone! ROCK AND ROLL, BABY!"

"...Have a seat." Vamdemon said with a smile.

"Thanks, Batman, you're all right," Etemon said, going to his seat. The very second he sat down he leapt back up with a loud yelp. "AIE!"

Pinocchimon burst into a fit of loud laughs, Vamdemon kept his down to a quiet chuckle, which, for Vamdemon, was a lot.

Etemon glared at the little puppet, pulling a tack out of his rear. "I swear, one of these days you little piece of firewood..." He grumbled, tossing the tack behind him. He checked his seat again before sitting down.

LadyDevimon came in with a tray of drinks. She passed a mug of beer to Etemon, cola to Pinocchimon, Vamdemon's usual to him, brandy for Devimon and red wine to Piemon. "My apologies that it's late."

"Not a problem," Piemon said, looking at his drink. LadyDevimon walked off.

Vamdemon sipped his drink. "...Wait...This is..." His eyes went wide, he looked to Piemon as the clown brought his glass to his lips. "Lord Piemon! WAIT!"

Red liquid sprayed from Piemon's mouth, what he drank was not wine. "Ugh! Digusting...!"

Pinocchimon and Etemon, of course, found this hysterical.

"...I believe we got each other's drinks..." Vamdemon said, holding up a glass of red wine.

"...Trade you back?" Piemon said, dryly, wiping his lips with a handkerchief. "Ugh, how can you drink that stuff?"

Vamdemon switched glasses with Piemon. Piemon shot a glare to the howling primate and puppet. "We'll wait..." He said in an annoyed tone.

"Th-Thanks-Hehehe-We might be a minute...!" Pinocchimon tried to say. Etemon couldn't get a word out.

Devimon held back a chuckle.

Once Etemon and Pinocchimon calmed down, which a drawn out trump sword helped hasten, Piemon began the meeting. "My fellow Viruses, welcome to tonight's war council. We are here to discuss our main objective: The complete and utter conquest of the Digital World and to negate the threat of the 'Chosen Children' legend. I do not have to remind you how close we came to snuffing out Gennai before, and we managed to eliminate at least one of the eight. However, one out of eight is not good enough! We are the most powerful of the virus types in the Digital World, the fact we lost to a Digital HUMAN like Gennai is a disgrace! I insist that we restore our honor and the only way to do that is to conquer and reconfigure the Digital World...Of course, one must ask, what will we reconfigure it into? I have some blueprints I sketched in my spare time I will show you all later. Please ignore the crayon, it is all I had on hand at the time and, well, when creativity strikes you simply MUST jot it down or kick yourself later for forgetting it. No matter how many times you think to yourself 'oh, I'm sure I'm sure I'll remember that, that's too good to forget' and then two days later you say to yourself, 'damn it, what was that great idea I had the other day? It was perfect! Why was I so stupid as to not write it down?' That is why I am willing to suffer the embarrassment of a crayon blueprint over forgotten genius. You understand, right? Now, where was I? Oh, yes, once we reconfigure and control the Digital World...We must also figure out exactly what to DO with it. I mean, what would our policies be? Will we rule with an iron fist or through heavy taxation? Or both? Both would be great, actually...Rule with fear and take money from the poor for grand, completely unnecessary building projects! Like solid gold statues of ourselves that size of Mugen Mountain! And the poor, penniless Digimon can but stare in awe of our wasteful spending as we sit in our ivory towers, bathing in caviar! ...No, no, scratch that...Bathing in caviar is...Just disgusting. I mean, yes, you are essentially saying 'I can waste BILLIONS on a whim,' but in the end you will still reek of fish eggs...In fact, I want to make that a new law, right now. No-one is allowed to bathe in caviar or smell like fish. I hate the smell of fish. I love seafood, but I cannot stand the smell. I know, I know, I drown my fish in lemon to cover it up, which more or less means I'm tasting lemon instead of fatty tuna but...The smell is just TERRIBLE, I would rather drown the fish in lemon juice...In fact, did you know you CAN actually drown a fish? No, really, they don't suck the oxygen from the H2O molecule, that would require an insane amount of energy, like splitting the atom! A fish's gills are NOT a fission reactor! Well, actually, that's a bit of an overstatement, electrolysis and all but you know what I mean! Gills don't work that way! They actually just absorb what little air is mixed INTO the water, which is why you have to change a fish's water to reoxygenate it or they will in fact DROWN! Because it's nothing but water once they suck out all the air! So, the next time someone says, 'he's so stupid, he'd try to drown a fish,' call them an idiot for me!" He put his hands to his side and sat down, sipping his wine. This signified the end of his opening speech.

"...I shall...Make note of that..." Vamdemon said. As shocking as this may sound, this was one of Piemon's more coherent opening speeches.

"Now for our official matters," Piemon looked to Etemon. "How's the Dark Network project?"

"Um, less Network more Dark," Etemon said. "We're still working out the bugs...Like, I need an exterminator bugs. Like an army of 'em! Like last week, I tried an uplink to sector seven-"

"Sector seven?" Vamdemon asked.

"Digitamamon's diner, I wanted to order in," Etemon replied.

"...That is in my land," Vamdemon said.

"I know, but...His food is so dang good! I didn't think you'd mind a couple miles of cable," Etemon replied with a shrug.

"Is that 'couple miles of cable' responsible for my lack of television signals?"

"Could be, the Dark Network kinda screws with analog signals...Not my fault you ain't got cable. I can hook you up, pretty cheap, too! I got a cousin, he's a Goblimon, knows EVERYTHING about TVs! He can get you all the premium channels for free, even the...Bats, what's your late night poison?"

"...I do not want to answer that..."

A perverted grin spread across Etemon's face. "My favorite is-"

"DO NOT finish that, I do not want to know! I want to be able to sleep without nightmares of whatever freakish premium channels you watch in your spare time!" Vamdemon let out a shuddder.

"Can he get me cartoon network?" Pinocchimon asked.

"Hell yeah! That's in the basic package, give him a challenge!" Etemon looked to Mugendramon. "Hey, what about you? Unless you, like, got your own internal thing...You get high speed internet, too? You wireless, iMon?"

Mugendramon was silent.

"...Hello?" Etemon waved to Mugendramon. "Hey, you awake? HAL?" He stood up, leaning forward on the table with one hand. "HEY! Daisy! Daisy! I'm so crazy...!" He sang.

"Can we have ONE meeting where you do not sing?" Vamdemon asked.

Etemon looked to Piemon. "...I don't think that thing's on."

"What?" Piemon asked.

"Tall dark and metallic over there, I don't think he's on," Etemon repeated.

"I assure you, he is." Piemon said.

"Then why isn't he sayin' anything? I think he's unplugged!"

"You do not 'plug-in' Mugendramon."

"Fine, change his batteries! They're obviously dead!" Etemon said.

"Mugendramon does not have batteries, either!" Piemon rolled his eyes. "Etemon, Mugendramon is a being of cold, calculating, mechanized malevolence! He does not need to make noise unless absolutely necessary. When Mugendramon strikes, he strikes in complete silence. His victim does not hear a thing before feeling death's cold embrace."

"...So you are saying Mugendramon is 'silent, but deadly?'"

Piemon's eyes went wide as Etemon and Pinocchimon burst into a fit of howling laughter. Pinocchimon was on the floor. Even Devimon had a chuckle.

"...I don't know what's worse, the sound of their hyenas on helium laughter of the fact that YOU," Piemon looked to Vamdemon. "YOU, Vamdemon, of all people were the one to make a fart joke!"

Vamdemon let out a dark chuckle. Two can play at Piemon's game of 'deadly comedian.'

Piemon reached under the table for a drawer, he pulled out a blue print. "I would like to change the subject and suggest one of my plans for the reconfigured Digital World..." He rolled out the blueprint. On it was a crudely drawn mountain with spiraling lines: One green, one blue, one gray and a magnificent palace on top. "Behold! Spiral Mountain! ...Impressive, no?"

"...No." Pinocchimon said.

"I do not quite get the concept..." Devimon scratched his head. "Please enlighten me."

"Well, we take the oceans, the forests and cities of the Digital World and combine them all into each spiral on the mountain. A Dark Master will control each spiral. Thus, Spiral Mountain!"

"I do not like the name," Vamdemon said.

"What's wrong with the name?"

"Well, to be honest...It sounds more like a bad amusement park. 'Come to Spiral Mountain! Wait in line for hours upon hours for a thirty-second roller coaster with one tiny drop! Sample our overpriced food and merchandise. Would you like a fifty dollar coffee mug with the words 'I got Dizzy at Spiral Mountain' painted on it? Don't worry, I'm fairly certain it's not lead-based paint.'" Vamdemon said.

"...Vamdemon, I know you're being entirely sarcastic, but I simply LOVE that idea! I mean, a deliciously evil amusement park! Can I please use it?" Piemon asked, smiling.

Devimon cleared his throat, "Um, Lord Piemon...Perhaps we could stay on topic? I promise, when we conquer the Digital World you can have your amusement park from Hell. Two, even. You can even build one on File Island!"

"Thank you, Devimon! I'll doodle some blue prints tonight in the bath tub!" Piemon said with an enthusiastic smile.

"Yes, well..." Devimon cleared his throat. "On the subject of File Island. I am certain the tags are there, however even with the black gears I am having no luck finding them. If I may, I would like to borrow Mugendramon for my search."

"Mugendramon? Why?"

"Well, with the Black Gears I can enhance his radar, tracking and scanning capabilities. With him, I think I can find the tags," Devimon said. "Would you mind?"

"You'll have to ask Mugendramon, but I have no objection." Piemon said.

Devimon looked to Mugendramon. "Mugendramon, will you assist me?"

No response came from Mugendramon.

"...Mugendramon?" Devimon said after a moment or two. Still no response.

Etemon got up, walked around the table and elbowed Mugundramon in the side. "Heeey!" He held up both thumbs. Nothing happened. "...Told ya this thing was off!"

Piemon went over to Mugendramon. He opened a console on Mugendramon's chest area. "...You must be joking..."

A screen in the chest console displayed two words: SLEEP MODE.

"WAKE UP!" Piemon slammed his fist on the console keyboard before closing it.

Mugendramon's eyes lit up with a low hum. "...WHAT DID I MISS?"

"YOU WERE IN SLEEP MODE?" Piemon screamed.

"I ACTIVATED IT SHORTLY AFTER YOU STARTED TALKING ABOUT CAVIAR."

Piemon growled.

"Told ya he was off..." Etemon trailed off.

"SHUT UP!" Piemon snapped. "Mugendramon, Devimon wants to borrow you. He's going to do something with black gears to power you up to find the crests. Objections?"

"NONE."

"Then you leave with Devimon first thing tomorrow!"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

Piemon grumbled going back to his chair. "...Any other business?"

"If I may, I think if we went with your Spiral Mountain idea...You said the oceans would be a 'spiral,' correct?" Devimon asked. Piemon nodded in response. "Well, we...lack naval support at this time. I would suggest finding a Dark Master to control the ocean portion, one optimized for aquatic conquest."

"Hm, I suppose you have a point there," Piemon nodded. "I'll put in for a help wanted ad tomorrow."

Devimon nodded. "Thank you, Lord Piemon."

The meeting came to close soon after, Piemon's guests retired to their rooms. They would set off in the morning, to further their goal of Digital World domination...


Original Author AKA Ori's Notes:
As usual, I'm not sure if this is all that funny or not...

The Teki No Digimon...These guys were my favorite characters back when Adventure aired. And...Well, I think this is the most in-character I've ever made them (Well, aside from Etemon and Pinocchimon...Those two are pretty easy to use in-character for comedy). ESPECIALLY Mugendramon... Oh, ye Gods, the things I did to Mugendramon...

Piemon might not be as much of a joker as I made him in this one but... ...Well, he's probably pretty close to his dub characterization. I don't know what he's like in the Japanese version.

This fic is, currently, just two or three parts...We'll call it complete then, but if anything strikes me I'll have Taiki add the extra chapter. But no promises. It's just a collection of short stories with the villains.

Sorry for the massive paragraph in the middle with Piemon's..."speech." I kept it that way to add to the sleep mode joke with Mugendramon. Hope you thought the rambling was funny!

I should also note: The Devimon, Vamdemon and PicoDevimon being related thing is...Just a theory of mine. There is NO evidence to support this, it's just something I've used in my fics because I love those three so much. I know it scared the hell out of a friend of mine who wrote a Vamdemon\Devimon fic, thinking the theory was canon. In reality, the only shred of evidence to support this is that PicoDevimon - Devimon - Vamdemon is an actual evolution line.

Also, Pinocchimon's "Let's plaaaaaay" entrance and gun references...In the Japanese version, Pinocchimon has an episode where he's chasing Takeru around and chanting "A-SO-BO" (Let's play) these scenes are...CREEPY to say the least. Seriously, Pinocchimon is freakin' scary at times. Not J-Reaper scary, but pretty close. J-Reaper is probably the creepiest thing to come out of of Digimon ever, though...*Shudder* How did Takato not notice there was something not just seriously wrong but UNHOLY about that girl?

Also, this was cut ENTIRELY from the dub but in the same episode Pinocchimon plays "war" with Takeru... ...By handing him an uzi. Pinocchimon has a .44 Magnum with dum-dums. "These bullets are hollow tipped. If you're shot in the gut with one of these, your stomach will explode." (Actual dialogue) He even wastes a couple of his minions with it (those two mons that help Takeru. Mushmon and...Some flower mon that's not Floramon, I think), "USOTSUKI!" (LIAR!) *BANG BANG!*

So, yeah, Pinocchimon is really, really creepy in the Japanese version of Adventure.

Also, like the Devi brothers thing, there's no real evidence to support that the villains knew each other at all. A lot of this is just my fan theories.

And finally, Teki No Digimon means "The Enemy Digimon." It's sort of a force of habit that I call them that. A couple of them did get some songs in the Japanese version, the Teki Chara Song File CD. Only Devimon (Dark Wing), Etemon (Love Serenade) and Pinocchimon (Haguruma Jikake No Mori) of the main villains, though...I SO wanted Vamdemon to have a song! The others were...Gotsumon and Pumpmon, Sukamon and Chuumon and Ogremon...Which...Made NO SENSE, none of them were bad guys! ...Well, Ogremon kinda, but... Damn it, give Piemon a song!

Toei! Stop screwing with us! ...And give ChibiKamemon one, too! He's awesome, he needs a song! Kame! Kame!


Taiki's Notes:

It is very unusual to see the Tekis used in one of Ori's comedies being this in-character (Ori hates his old fics where they're super out of character). Especially Mugendramon! I even have trouble picturing Mugendramon without bread jokes and blasting Ken and Osamu Ichijouji into oblivion thanks to Ori's Mugen E series.

I've heard a few songs on that CD Ori mentioned, by the way. Pinocchimon's is a bit weird to me, he has a Chipmunk-like voice. Devimon's is amazing, I highyl recommend hearing it if you haven't!

As usual: Check out Ori's DeviantArt account (Username: Qibushi-Zijian) for Digimon Humor pictures and comics (Link in my profile, under homepage). And please answer the poll on my profile to help Ori figure out what fics to focus on.

Thank you, I hope you enjoyed!

-Taiki Matsuki

EDIT: Ori had me change a bit of Piemon's opening ramble, the fish's gills portion. He knows that splitting a water molecule doesn't require the same energy as splitting the atom (not even close). He just couldn't resist the fission reactor line, so we made sure Piemon noted he's exaggerating with that.