Hello my faithful and most awesome readers! Here I am, Kari, with a new fan fic! XD. Yeah, I didn't plan on doing one until I finished one of the others, but I was "threatened" by a friend to type up the first chappie before anything so yeah. XD.
Dei: This one seems as fun as the one where Danna turns to a five year old un.
Saso: That's because there are children acting evil and psychotic in it.
Dei: No wonder I like the idea un!
Lol, disclaimer if you will?
Dei: Kari-chan doesn't own Naruto or anything else previously owned un!
Thankies. Welcome, to Akatsuki's Chibis!
Chapter 1: The Kids
Kisame stretched as he walked into the room. It had been eleven years since he had seen this room, eleven years since they had all gone their separate ways, in the respective teams of course. He and Itachi had found a quiet place to relax and enjoy the peace. And then-
"You know, these boxes are heavy Kisa-san." -he came along. Kisame turned to the ten year old, mini version of Itachi. Kakuzu was gonna be pissed that they were gonna have to remodel the hideout, but…a glance from Itachi's sharingan and that settled that. "Yes, which is why you should put them down over there Ita-kun." Ita rolled his eyes at his "uncle" before putting the boxes down in the corner just as his father walked in. "I hear that Ita won't be the only child." "That's good! He'll have some kids to play with." Stated Kisame with a grin. Ita rolled his eye, "Whatever. Where's the kitchen Father?" he asked Itachi. The older raven chuckled as he said, "Down the hall, to the left…watch out if you see a giant Venus fly trap….Zetsu tends to like to eat people." Ita's eyes widened a bit, shocked at his father's words, before he nodded and went down the hall. Itachi turned to Kisame, "You couldn't help him with at least one box?" he asked. Kisame shrugged, "Too late now." He said as a kunai went past his head. He sighed. What was it about the hideout that brought the Akatsuki in them back out?
He decided he didn't want to find out. Instead, he went into the hall, headed for the kitchen as well. As he walked, he saw a small figure headed towards him.
The boy had slicked back, silver hair and deep magenta eyes. He wore an open shirt as he was poking a voodoo doll with a needle. "Instant death if stabbed here, slow if stabbed here…" he muttered. Kisame felt his jaw drop as Hidan came walking behind the boy. "OH MY GOD THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! AS IF ONE WASN'T BAD ENOUGH?" Hidan laughed sarcastically, "Hah, hah, very funny you fucking shark. Jash, this is the fucking asshole of a shark, Kisame. Bug him as much as you want." The boy looked up from his voodoo doll and smirked as creepy as Hidan could, "Awesome." He said.
Kisame blinked, "You immortal too?" he asked. "DAMN STRAIGHT!" replied Jash. Kisame wanted to punch a wall, "Fuck. That's not fair…" he said. Jash stuck his tongue out at him before Kakuzu grabbed him, "Where is it you little thief?" he growled. Jash smirked, "Up your ass Kuzu!" Hidan chuckled as Kakuzu dragged Jash down the hall to their room before following.
Kisame knew this was gonna be worse than the last time they were all together…well…maybe not. They had decided to lay low for a while, having just robbed the largest bank in the world, and assassinating the most heavily guarded man as well. They all had enough money (or so they thought, not counting on the little ones) and knew places they wouldn't have to hide in a cave.
So why were they back? Pein had decided that the world had had enough of peace. And he had found out about some very interesting groups of jewels, or so he said. Apparently, there were five different colored jewels. Each one had their own special ability, immortality, telepathy, teleportation, time travel, and premonition; each indicated by the color and shape of the jewel. And so, here they were, Akatsuki, back from retirement. It was actually nice to know that the others were alive and well. He wondered when Sasori and Deidara would-
"I got the door Dei, come on." Said a familiar voice. "Thanks Danna un!" replied an equally as familiar voice. Kisame looked up to see the Artistic duo coming in, each carrying about five bags. Oh no, don't tell me… "Sasori, Deidara, what's up?" he said with a grin. Deidara looked up and grinned back, "Hey Kisame! Nothing much, you know, back here un." Sasori waited for Deidara to be completely inside before coming in, "Hey sharky." He said. Kisame rolled his eyes at the nickname and dared to ask, "What's with all the bags?" Deidara and Sasori laughed, "You'll see soon enough." They said simultaneously as they headed in the direction of their old room.
Kisame gulped. Please tell me it's just some kinda new weapon. Two kids is enough here…another would be deadly…especially if it's a mix of those two. Kisame turned in the direction of the kitchen as the front door to the apartment creaked open once more. His head snapped back in the direction of the door in time to see a small boy with long blonde hair in the same fashion as Deidara walk in. He was paying more attention to looking in his backpack than to his surroundings. Kisame felt his heart drop. This was gonna be hell. Hidan and Deidara, and that Jash brat and Deidara's son, if the boy was like Deidara in personality as much as he LOOKED like Deidara, the heads would literally be flying.
The boy looked up at Kisame. Kisame blinked at his chocolate brown eyes. "Hey, you look like a shark! That's cool un!" Kisame chuckled, "Well, aren't you cute?" he said. The boy smiled, "Yes, I am." He said plainly. Kisame chuckled again, reaching to pat the boy on the head when the kid said in a sweet voice, "Touch my hair and I will blow you into a million tiny pieces un." Kisame froze as he saw a sweet smile on the boy's face. Yeah. Definitely Deidara's son. "Deidara's kid right?" The boy nodded in a hyper way, "Yup! The name's Kama! You're….Kisame right un?" "Yeah…" Note to self, this kid is as mentally unstable as his dad… "I'm also Sasori's son." "What? HOW?" "I don't know. I don't quite understand the whole concept of male pregnancy yet un. I just know that I have two fathers instead of the standard one."
Kisame blinked. Damn, this kid was almost as smart as Ita. Kisame decided he didn't wanna know how Sasori and Deidara ended up with a kid. "Well, fine. Nice to meet you Kama." "It was nice to meet you too Kisame un!" A cute smile appeared on Kama's face as his big chocolate colored eyes sparkled with mischief. He ran off down the hall in the direction of Sasori and Deidara's room.
The door opened again, this time letting a small red head, no older than five, into the hideout. "Oh dear lord no." muttered Kisame. Not ANOTHER kid. Seemed to be the youngest of the group too. He was dragging a backpack that seemed too heavy for him and was carrying a scorpion plushy. He looked up at Kisame with big sapphire blue eyes. Aww, he's adorable. Thought Kisame. "Well, you're a cu-" "Call me cute and I will poison you so bad that you will beg for death but death will never come." Kisame shut his mouth as the kid's eyes narrowed at him. "Are we clear Kisame?" he asked. Kisame blinked again, but the deadly look in this boy's eyes made his voice work, "Crystal. Sasori and Deidara's kid?" "Yeah, my name's Kenji, but most people prefer to call me Scorpling. Now move aside or I will hurt you. And by hurt, I mean decapitate."
Kisame jumped out of Scorpling's way and the boy walked down the hall. Ok, let's not piss those two kids off. They're as psychotic as their fathers. Maybe I should just steer clear of them…
~In Sasori and Deidara's room~
Scorpling walked into the room. It was pretty big and Deidara was putting up the bunk bed, Kama watching with slight interest as the older blonde worked. He turned and locked eyes with his little brother (Kama being older at seven) and grinned, "Hey Patsukun! You see the shark man un?" he asked as he walked over to the younger boy. Scorpling nodded, "Yeah. He wanted to call me cute." "He wanted to touch my hair." Sasori chuckled at his sons. "Yeah, people tend to do that…You didn't kill him did you?" he asked, looking at Scorpling dead in the eye. Scorpling gave Sasori an innocent smile, "Of course not Daddy, you made us swear not to kill any of your fellow Akatsuki." Sasori nodded, though he sighed. I'm sure these two will find a loophole eventually. He chuckled at the thought.
"Done un!" Deidara got up from where he was putting the bed. "Now, you guys hungry?" he ran a hand through both Kama's long blonde locks, and Scorpling's messy red locks. Kama and Scorpling smiled at him, "Yeah!" they said simultaneously. Sasori chuckled once more, messing up both of their hairs. "NYA! DANNA!" yelled Kama as he smoothed his hair down. Scorpling laughed. The only three people that could ever dare to touch Kama's hair without fear of death were his parents and his brother, for obvious reasons. Though it still bugged him when they messed it up.
Kama and Scorpling both ran to the bags on Sasori and Deidara's bed, rummaging through them until they had found what they were looking for. Kama put the small puppet into his pocket and started to mold the clay. Scorpling pulled out a book (written in ancient Greek) and opened it half way. "Hey Danna?" "Yes Kama?" Sasori turned to his little blonde. Kama asked, "Where's the T.V. room un?" he asked with innocent brown eyes. Sasori chuckled, "Come on, I'll show you." Kama smiled and turned his attention to the clay in his hands. He walked out the door, not really noticing the silver haired boy that was running down the hall and not paying attention to where he was going.
"OOFF!" Both boys felt their heads slam against something hard and fell on their backs. Kama immediately jumped back onto his feet, kunai in hand and glaring daggers at Jash. Jash rubbed his head where it had made contact with Kama's and said, "Watch where you're going girl!" Kama blinked once before realization sank in and his glare darkened, his eyes turning blood red. "What did you call me?" he growled. "What? I said to watch it you fucking bitch!" "I'M A BOY UN!" Jash's eyes widened, "YOU ARE?" he asked in shock. Kama ground his teeth as Scorpling came walking out of the room, book in hand as he walked, "Why yes, he is, and I would shut up if I were you." He headed down the hall in the direction Jash had come from. Sasori poked his head out, only to pull it back in to tell Deidara what was going on.
"Whatever, you're still a blonde girl to me." Stated Jash as he got to his feet, heading to his new room. He yelped as he felt pain in his skull and fell face first to the ground. Kama laughed, "BULL'S EYE!" he exclaimed. Jash reached up to the back of his head, pulling the kunai lodged in it out with a hiss of pain. "THAT FUCKING HURT!" he yelled. Kama cocked his head to the side, curiosity apparent in his chocolate eyes, "You're still alive?" he asked.
Jash scowled at him, "No shit! I'm fucking immortal!" Kama's grin widened as those words reached his ears. "That's awesome un." "I know. It-" "That means I can blow you up and kick your ass as much as I want and I won't get in trouble!" Jash blinked in confusion. "The hell is that supposed to mean blondie?" he asked. Kama's grin got even wider if possible. "Wanna find out?" he asked the other boy.
Lucky for Jash, Hidan happened to be coming down the hall. He took one look at the two boys, noted Kama's appearance, and pulled Jash away from him. "Get the fuck away from Jash you little transvestite!" Kama blinked, "Did you just call me a transvestite?" he asked, anger seeping into his voice. "Deidara came out of the room, "If it isn't Hidan, who told you you could reproduce un?" he asked with a smirk. "Who told you to make your son a transvestite?" Deidara's smirk didn't falter, "HE's as much of a transvestite as your son has morals." "Transvestite." "Turrets." "Fuck off blondie." Hidan grabbed Jash by the arm and led him away from the two blondes.
Kama was snickering at the look on Jash's face. "Did you throw that kunai at that kid?" asked Sasori. Kama looked up at him with his big brown eyes, "Yeah, but it's ok cause he didn't die un!" Sasori sighed. Twenty minutes. It had to be a new record. He had found a loophole in twenty minutes. "Just try not to blow up the whole apartment. And don't set a bomb off in the room." He told the boy. Kama nodded as he picked up his clay and ran off in the direction Scorpling had gone.
Sasori thought the whole situation over before turning to Deidara. "You know," Deidara turned to him, "this might actually be pretty interesting. Let's see who's smarter out of the kids." Deidara laughed, "Well, that leaves Hidan's son in last place un! I'm sure it's more between Scorpling, Kama, Itachi's son, and Pein's son. Guess we'll just have to wait and see." Deidara said as he headed for the kitchen. Sasori smirked, "True." He said as he followed…
(A/n) And done! What do ya think? I had fun tormenting poor Kisame. He's the only one that is afraid of the chaos that will ensue with the adorable little Akatsuki Chibis. The oldest of the all is Ita at ten. Then comes Pein's son (you don't get to know his name till the next chap. Yes I'm that evil. XD) at nine. Jash and Kama are both seven, and last but certainly not least is little Scorpling at five. Now, who do YOU think is the smartest of the five? Guess right and you get, not only a dedication, but a cyber cookie too! XD
Dei: Oh, a cookie un!
Lol. Also, why don't you guys try to guess who gets which jewel? Just wondering what you think? R&R! Flames to be used to bake the cyber cookies!