My entry for the In the Closet contest, I didn't win anything but I had fun anyway.
You can read the other entries at www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2424392
I would like to offer my gratitude for my pre-reader Nayarit for vast amounts of praise and encouragement. And love to my beta, Yasmina2005 aka The Comma Commander. I suck at commas - she made sure I knew this.
Stephanie Meyer owns everything. I own nothing.
The room is pitch black, and the only sounds that I can hear are my erratic breaths and my heart beating wildly out of my chest. I am nervous, my body is trembling. I am still tipsy, but my nerves are quickly sobering me up. I am lying in my bed, the bed I normally share with my husband, and I am wondering what is going to happen when she arrives. I know what she wants to happen, but the real question is – do I want something to happen? The answer is yes, and I had known it for awhile now. I just couldn't admit it to myself, but right or wrong, we both wanted it, and after tonight there was no going back.
3 Months Earlier…
My husband and I moved to Seattle from Phoenix about four months ago. His company, SkB Architecture, had just opened a WA branch, and Edward was transferred here to manage the new office.
After a month of living here and having no luck at finding a job, the demand for corporate accountants in Seattle was disconcerting, I began to lose hope. When it became obvious that I wasn't at the top of the application pile, the boredom, depression and loneliness began to set in. I wasn't happy to say the least.
Edward was never home, always working, trying to prove that his dick was bigger than all the other dicks. This left me with plenty of time to sulk about his lack of attention, my loneliness, and my own failures as a wife.
It was on one of my shittier days that I met her . . . my savior, Rosalie Hale.
I was standing in front of my house going through my junk mail, considering a coupon for a full-body massage when somebody rammed into me, knocking me on my ass and causing me to drop all my mail.
"Holy shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!"
I glared up at my attacker from my place on the sidewalk and took her in. She was panting, sweating and had a distressed look on her face. She was dressed in running attire and had obviously been jogging. She was holding her hand out to me, so I took it and she helped me to my feet.
"It's okay, nothing's broken." I wiped my hands over my ass to remove anything it had collected from my fall.
"I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," she said and held up her IPod.
"Like I said, it's okay, I'll live. My name's Bella Cullen, my husband and I just moved in about a month or so ago." I pointed behind me to my house.
"I'm Rosalie Hale, but you can call me Rose, everyone does. I live a few blocks over, welcome to the neighborhood." Rosalie held out her hand and I shook it.
I bent down and began collecting my dropped mail.
"Here let me help you, I am the one who tackled you." She smiled as she bent down and began helping me pick up the papers. Once all the mail was collected, she handed me her share and we stood there, awkwardly looking at each other for a second until I remembered my manners.
"Would you like to come in for a minute? I can get you something to drink. My husband won't be home for hours, and I could use the company." My attempt to come off as aloof was weak at best. I was desperate for the company, on a level that even I wasn't aware of till that moment. I couldn't help the hopeful look that fixed itself to my face.
"Um, sure, I was about done with my run anyway, and a drink sounds nice, thanks."
Turning around, I began to walk towards my house, Rosalie following closely behind me. As I went into the kitchen to fix us some iced tea Rosalie made herself comfortable. From my place in the kitchen I watched her as she wandered around my living room, looking at and picking up knick-knacks and pictures. I couldn't help but notice how attractive Rosalie was - how out of place she looked in my living room. She was fucking gorgeous, and I found myself staring at her, following her long, shapely legs which lead up to the supple curve of her tight backside as she wordlessly perused my living room. I abruptly snapped out of my creepy pseudo-lesbian stare down to finish pouring the drinks when I heard Rosalie call my name from the other room.
"Damn, girl, your hubby sure is easy on the eyes." She was standing in front of the fireplace mantle holding my wedding picture in one hand. I walked up next to her and placed a glass of ice tea in her free hand.
I took the photo out of her hand, my stare longing as I looked down at it. "Yeah, that's my Edward, he is pretty to look at, but he's never home." The bitterness in my voice shocked me. Rosalie raised an eyebrow at my tone. "I just miss him. He's always working, trying to prove something. "You married?" I was eager to move the conversation away from my marital problems.
"No, I am not, well, not anymore at least. I'm divorced," she chuckled to herself, shaking her head. "Emmett and I were married for awhile, but soon discovered that we were… um, incompatible."
"Oh, I am so sorry, that had to suck for you." I wanted to feel bad — but I didn't. I actually felt relief hearing she was single, and that really confused me.
"No, it's fine. We've come to terms with it and it ended amicably. We're actually still very close and get together on occasion for drinks and… things." I got the feeling that there was more to the story, but I didn't think it was my place to ask, so I just kept quiet.
I placed the photo back on the mantle and turned to sit down on the sofa as Rosalie took at seat on the matching loveseat opposite me, where we just sat and talked – for several hours. During that time I learned that Rosalie was 23, employed as a personal trainer and only worked with select clients, meaning Seattle's well-to-do. To be honest, I was impressed and just a tad bit intimidated. She was obviously a strong, independent woman who didn't take shit from anyone. I'll admit I was a little envious of the confidence that she radiated; it was infectious.
Rose explained how she married her high school sweetheart, Emmett, right after graduation, but after 3 years of marriage they both realized they wanted different things in life and had been divorced for 2 years.
Soon the subject turned to me, and I talked about growing up in Forks with my dad, Charlie, and spending my summers in Phoenix with my mom. How I met Edward through his cousin and my college roommate Alice. I told her how we got married right after I finished college and a little about our old life back in Phoenix.
Before we knew it, the sun had set outside and it was going on 9:00 pm. I was hoping Edward would've come home by now so that I could introduce him, but I knew better than that.
Rosalie slapped her hands against her thighs and sighed. "Well, it's getting late, I suppose I should head home. I don't stay this attractive without my beauty sleep, being this hot takes work." She batted her lashes dramatically, making us both laugh.
I couldn't help but silently agree. She was definitely hot.
"Yeah, Edward should be home soon and he'll just want to eat and relax." I then remembered that she would have to walk home. "Do you want a ride home? It's dark outside and I really don't think you should be roaming the streets alone this late at night." The thought of something happening to her made my stomach clench, and I suddenly felt very protective.
"Okay, yeah, sure, sounds good."
We piled into my little red Beamer and started on our way. We chatted as Rose gave directions. She was right, she only lived around the block, so it wasn't very far at all. I pulled into a driveway, in front of a house that looked very similar to my own, just a different color, and we sat.
"Well, it was really nice meeting you, Bella. I haven't sat down and talked like that in a very long time," she sighed. "I don't have many female friends, so it's nice to have someone to talk to."
"I don't have any friends' period since I'm new to the area and not working yet."
Suddenly Rose's eyes got big, an excited look shot across her face. "You should come down to the gym! I work there a few days a week when I'm not with a client. I could totally be your trainer."
I just looked at her, then down at my skinny, less than curvaceous body and looked back up at her with a bewildered expression on my face.
"Umm…" I really wasn't sure how to respond to that comment. Was she saying that I was fat or something? I was confused.
Rosalie quickly caught on to my confusion and began backtracking.
She laughed, "No, no, no… I didn't mean it like that!"
"I only meant that it would be a good way to meet new people, and since I'm there I thought I could help out. I mean what else are you gonna do at a gym, right?"
Understanding dawned, so I quickly pushed away my irrational, self-image issues.
I smiled, "Yeah okay, I can see your point. Could be fun, and I'm definitely not opposed to making some new friends. And I guess a workout couldn't hurt either, I could probably tone my ass up or something."
"I think your ass is hot." Rose giggled, giving me wink.
We laughed at her funny, albeit odd, comment as I handed her pen from my purse. She quickly jotted down all the information she thought I'd need onto a napkin. I could have sworn her hand lingered on mine as she handed the pen back, the soft skin of her fingers gently caressed the back of my hand. It all happened so quickly, I couldn't be sure if the contact was real or imagined. With a quick goodbye and a short wave of her hand Rose disappeared inside.
I thought a bit about how strange the day had been, and then there was just something about Rosalie Hale. I drove home consumed by my thoughts. Rosalie was nothing short of an enigma, and I came to the conclusion that I was losing my mind for thinking these thoughts. She'd been married, for Christ sake - to a man!
As time moved on, Rose and I became inseparable. When she wasn't working with a client, we were at the gym; when we weren't at the gym, we were just hanging out, shopping or having dinner together. Edward was still never around, but he promised his crazy hours wouldn't last much longer - for the sake of our marriage I prayed he was right.
I think he was happy that I had some friends, although he didn't really care for Rose. He muttered something about her being kinda bitchy, and yeah, she is, so I didn't argue. He seemed relieved that I wasn't as miserable as I had been, so he really didn't say anything else.
As much as I loved Rose, there was still something about her she was keeping to herself. I never pushed, it wasn't really my business. I found it curious that a woman with her spectacular good looks didn't date, although there was never a shortage of men vying for her attention, but she never seemed interested and always turned them down. As confusing as it was, I always felt a strange sense of relief whenever another guy walked away, head hung low and a dejected look on his face. At times I thought that maybe she was still hung up on her ex, Emmett, but whenever she spoke of him I never got a sense of longing or regret from her, just friendship. Rosalie was a mystery.
I began making other friends during my time at the gym. Angela was a shy, soft-spoken newlywed. She, like me, didn't need to lose any weight, but was looking to tone and firm, so Rose worked with both of us on getting those buns of steel. Together we bonded over grunts, sweat and our mutual hatred of yoga− it's just not natural to bend like that… downward dog my ass.
There was something about Rosalie Hale. I'd spoken those words more than once since meeting her, and the longer I knew her the more apparent it became. It was a Monday, however, that it really became evident. Before leaving the gym that afternoon, I made plans with both Rose and Angela to meet up later at a local bar for some drinks and girl talk. I was excited; it had been a long time since I'd been out drinking with friends.
I walked into the Orchid Lounge, noticing that it wasn't very busy, but it was still rather early. A few people sat at the bar sipping drinks, and there was one couple sitting in a corner, holding hands and talking intimately. The bartender stood behind the bar, lost in thought, mindlessly drying a glass. Cozy, round tables filled the space, each adorned with the bar's logo. The small dance floor up front stood empty, as an old Def Leppard song floated through the air.
My eyes immediately began searching for Rose's long blonde hair and creamy skin. I knew she was here, she had texted me a few minutes earlier. I heard my name being called from above me; I looked up and spotted her waving me up. A small set of stairs led to a raised portion of the bar.
I found Rose at a table in the back and realized she wasn't alone. I quickly made my way towards her, and the large body builder-esque guy she was sitting next to. He-Man must have said something funny because Rose suddenly threw her head back in laughter as I approached the table. I eyed the man suspiciously, assuming he was just one of many that would be shot down by the end of the night. However, I couldn't help noticing a familiarity between them, they had a definite closeness, and it was obvious to me that she knew him. I felt a momentary pang of jealousy, but quickly pushed it away, because I was pretty sure I already knew who this was.
The closer I got the more I could understand Rosalie's attraction to him. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, a sweet smile and a nice body. As I approached, Rosalie's eyes quickly met mine before darting away. Rose nudged the man with her shoulder and nodded her head towards me, causing the man to look in my direction. When I reached the table, Rose quickly stood up and started the introductions before I could sit down.
"Bella this is Emmett… my ex." I already knew that. "And Emmett, this is my home girl Bella." Emmett looked back between Rose and me, a sly grin sliding onto his expressive face.
"Oh, your home girl?" He smiled while shaking my hand.
"It's nice to finally meet you. Rose speaks of you often, only nice things, of course." I slid into the seat across from them, gleefully noticing that Rose has already ordered me a drink. I stirred it and took a long pull from the straw, relishing in the sweet, minty goodness.
"Yeah, my Rosie always did fuss over me. I don't know why, she's just such a sweetheart." He looked affectionately at Rose, who just rolled her eyes at his remark. I looked at him like he was crazy, because Rose was a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure a sweetheart wasn't one of them.
"Please, Emmy, you eat that shit up, so don't sit here trying to act all humble in front of Bella. You are gorgeous and you know it, so shut the fuck up." Contrary to her words, Rose's tone was light and playful, her hand outstretched, ready to place over his mouth. Quickly dodging out of her way, he started to word his reply. Although cocky, I could tell he was a guy I could easily get along with.
"Yeah, well, I am one hot motherfucker, it can't be helped." Emmett leaned back, licked the tip of his finger, touched it to his chest and made a hissing sound. At that, Rose smacked him in the back of the head, I laughed and snorted mojito up my nose; it burned.
Angela arrived a bit later, stating she couldn't stay very long. Ben, her husband, was worried about her drinking and driving, so he had dropped her off and was coming to retrieve her in a few hours. Ben's concern for his wife was sweet, if not a little irritating; Edward probably didn't even know where I was. I had called him at work before I left to let him know my plans for the evening, but he was distracted, barely acknowledging me and then quickly hanging up. I doubted he heard a word I said.
The night progressed, and at some point Angela left, although I wasn't really sure when, I just knew she wasn't here anymore. The music got louder, and the bar became crowded, the table was sticky, and the drinks kept flowing. Our tongues got thicker, our vision blurred, and Emmett's comments got kinda strange.
"Rosie wasn't lying when she said you were cute as a button," Emmett suddenly declared. Rose just smiled at me, lazily sipping her sangria and nodding her head in agreement.
I snorted, "Yeah, that's what every girl wants to be, cute. Not hot, not gorgeous… cute. Rose is a fucking Amazonian goddess compared to me." I pulled a piece of ice from my drink and began crunching it loudly.
"Nope, she was right, you are one hot little piece, and Rosie always knows how to pick 'em." Emmett licked his lips, looked me up and down like I was something to eat.
"Isn't gonna happen Emmett, back the fuck off, she's married." Emmett turned towards Rose with a confused look on his face, and Rose just shook her head in warning. They stared at each other for a long minute, having some sort of silent conversation with their eyes.
He looked back towards me and sighed, "Married huh? Well, that's just too bad. We could've had a helluva good time, baby girl," he said, running a large finger down the length of my arm.
"That's enough, Emmett!" Rose snapped with a murderous look on her face.
I pulled my arm away quickly as Emmett removed his finger. I realized, through my alcohol induced fog, that there was something more going on here, but I was too buzzed to make any sense out of it.
I stood up quickly. I was done with whatever the fuck was happening here. I was drunk, confused and just a little freaked out by Emmett's bizarre behavior.
He had seemed so sweet earlier.
"Umm, I think it's time for me to go. My husband is probably waiting for me."
I turned quickly with as much grace as I could, straightened my shoulders and made my way down the steps, towards the front of the bar. I pushed my way through the smoke and packed bodies, more than happy to step out into the night air. It was cool and slightly damp and felt good on my face and in my lungs as I breathed.
The cool air was helping to clear my head, but I was still obviously in no condition to drive. I pulled out my phone from the bottom of my purse, groaning as the screen lit up brightly. I had 6 missed calls with as many voicemails and 3 text messages, all from Edward and all with the same question, "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" I stood there in front of the bar, searching my phone for a cab company so I could get home. I could have called Edward to pick me up, he would have, but I just didn't want to deal with him right now, and judging by the tone of his texts, he wouldn't be pleasant.
I heard the door open behind me, the loud music and drunken laughter spilling out into the night. I felt the cool air brush against the back of my legs as it swung shut. From the the click of stilettos against the concrete and the smell of lilac I immediately knew it was Rose.
"Bella, let me give you a ride home." She sounded apologetic and tired. "Unlike you, I didn't drink a gallon or so of mojitos. Besides, I think we need to talk. I guess after that performance in the bar I have some explaining to do."
I looked up from my phone at her. She looked exhausted, it was late, and I had a feeling that she and Emmett had exchanged a few unpleasant words. Good, I hope she ripped him a new one.
I sighed, defeated, having no luck finding a number. "Whatever, Rose, but that shit in the bar was fucked up! And yes, we need to talk, and yes, you're gonna tell me what's going on with you, but not now. I'm half drunk, I think Edward's pissed at me and I can't deal with this shit tonight."
Rose didn't say a word; she just waited for me to finish ranting.
I ran a hand down my face. "Just please, take me home so I can pass out. I'll be pissed at you tomorrow, after lots of sleep and some Tylenol." We both laughed and Rose just shook her head.
"Alright, woman, let's get you home to your man," she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and lead me from the bar over to the parking lot beside it. The parking lot was dark and quiet, except for the sound of a car alarm going off somewhere in the night. I kept my eyes on the ground as I walked in an attempt to avoid tripping, there were cigarette butts and trash littering the ground and the smell of oil and old stale beer drifted up from the cracked asphalt as we walked.
We made it to Rose's black Mustang which sat angled across two parking spots; I just shook my head at her parking job. I heard the alarm chirp as she opened the door to allow me to clumsily flop down in the seat. The inside was nice and smelled just like Rosalie, like fresh rain and lilacs. The seats were leather, soft and tan, and it was relatively clean with the exception of a few empty Taco Bell wrappers in the back seat; Rose obviously had a weakness. I picked one up just as Rose slide into the driver's seat and shut her door. I held it up to her, looked at her and arched an eyebrow.
I continued to look at her questioningly. It really was amusing to me; the sexy blonde bombshell personal trainer had a weakness for greasy wannabe Mexican fast food.
"Hey, a girl's gotta have her vices, ya know. Some have chocolate, others have ice cream, I happen to love the occasional soft taco. You got a problem with that?"
I snorted with laughter and threw the wrapper in the backseat, shaking my head.
"No, I just find it funny that you, the picture of womanly perfection, have a secret fast-food habit. It's a good thing you exercise for living, because that stuff will go straight to your ass."
Rose just laughed at me. "Don't I know it." She started the car and pulled out onto the street.
Neither of us said anything, it was quiet in the car; not a tense quiet, just calm. I leaned my head against the headrest and closed my eyes, wondering what I was going to be dealing with when I got home.
He'll probably be asleep, he usually is, and tonight shouldn't be any different.
"I'm not, you know?" Rose spoke, startling me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I had no clue what she was talking about. I turned my head to look at her; she looked sad and maybe a little irritated.
"Perfect. I'm not perfect. You have this ridiculously high opinion of me, Bella. You think that I am perfection, flawless, but I'm not, I have my faults… trust me."
"Rose— " I started to speak, but she cut me off.
"No, let me finish. I am not perfect, Bella. My ass is a little on the flat side, I have split ends and I'm pretty sure my right breast sits lower than the left. I suck at relationships, I have a failed marriage under my belt, I live alone, all my fish die and you're practically my only friend. Now please explain to me exactly how this is perfection?"
I sat silently for a minute, watching the city lights pass by my window before answering her.
"I know that you're not perfect, Rose, no one is, and I don't expect you to be and I'm sorry if I upset you. I've had too much to drink and my mouth spouts off shit it shouldn't."
She didn't respond.
"I don't care about your flat ass or your dead fish, you're my best friend, and I love you for who you are. You know that, right?"
She sighed, pulling the car into an empty Dairy Queen parking lot down the street from our subdivision and shut off the engine. The pale yellow light from a lone streetlight illuminated the inside of the car just enough for me to make out her silhouette, but not enough to see the emotion on her face.
She sat silent and unmoving, gripping the steering wheel and staring blankly out the windshield. Before I could ask her what was going on, she angled her body towards me, a determined look on her face. Okay, so I guess we're gonna talk. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what was to come.
"Yeah, I know that and I love you too. I guess I'm just feeling like shit because of what went down at the club, and I know you said you don't want to talk about it tonight and we're not. I'm just afraid that when we do you're not gonna like what you hear."
I reached over, took her hand in mine and squeezed. I knew she had a secret, I had known that for awhile. There was something about Rose, but I could never quite put my finger on it. I just assumed if it was important she would tell me when she was ready. But it wouldn't really matter; whatever it was, I would support her, she was my friend, and that's what friends do.
"No matter what, Rose, I'll always be your friend. There's absolutely nothing you can say that would push me away or jeopardize our friendship. Got it?" She nodded her head, holding my gaze with hers, and slowly pulled our enclosed hands up to her lips where she placed a feather light kiss on the back of my hand, her watery blue eyes never leaving mine.
"Thank you," she whispered.
A pleasant sensation shot through my hand and up my arm, making my heart beat faster and my body hum. Her soft, full lips touching my skin excited me in ways that I couldn't describe, and what concerned me the most was I liked it. I liked it a lot more than I should have.
"You're welcome," I said, looking into the deep sapphire of her eyes.
Everything was suddenly very still: the city outside our windows, our bodies, and the air. The only sounds were the short and fast breaths coming from my chest as it quickly rose and fell and the sound of my pulse thrumming loudly in my ears. Rose was watching me carefully, gauging my reaction, but didn't let go of my hand. When I didn't pull away, she put two fingers of her free hand under my chin and very slowly, very carefully began to bring my face towards hers, again her eyes never leaving mine.
My breathing sped up until I was almost panting, sweat began trickling down the back of my neck and down my chest in between my breasts, it was hot, the air in the car was stifling.
I saw the question in her eyes silently asking me if this was alright, but no answer was needed as I angled my head and met her the rest of the distance, her wine stained lips felt like heaven against mine. Our eyes closed as our lips met very lightly and very slowly, nothing urgent or needy. Gradually her lips began to move against mine, I let her lead but moved my lips in time with hers. I wanted more.
I brought my hand up to the back of her head, entwined my fingers into her soft locks and began kissing her more forcefully. Taking the hint, she opened her mouth as I opened mine, and I felt her tongue tentatively peek out and taste my lips just as I did the same. Rose tasted like sangria and sex, it was divine, and I couldn't get enough. Her tongue was soft and supple as it entwined with mine, caressing, testing, tasting. The kiss was sensual as our tongues danced together; our only sounds were soft moans and breathy sighs.
Rose moved forward and pressed her chest to mine, the swell of her breasts pressed against my smaller ones, the sensation of her hardened nipples against mine ignited a deep need inside me, and I wanted more, I wanted to entangle my body with hers and just feel her everywhere against me. Rose was rubbing small circles on my back with one hand and the other was in my hair, I hadn't been kissed like this in so long, and her hands touching me, rubbing me just felt so damn good. It seemed as though Edward hadn't touched me in forever and I had been so lonely, for so long.
At that moment my eyes flew open… SHIT, EDWARD!
I immediately ended the kiss, pulled my hand out of Rose's hair and jumped back into my seat, my back pressed against the door, the handle pressing sharply into my spine.
"Shit, shit, shit!" I started shaking my head and running my hands though my hair over and over. Rose looked shocked and confused, not knowing what to do or say.
"Are you okay?" she asked, placing her hand on my knee.
I quickly nodded and looked down at my lap, unable to look her in the eye.
"Oh my God, I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sor— "she started.
"No no, its fine, well no, it's not fine. I mean, I just… I don't know what I mean," I sighed loudly. "Can you just please take me home?"
"Yeah, okay…. sure." Rose quickly started the car and pulled out.
I sat staring out the window, a million thoughts running through my head rapidly with nothing making any sense.
Oh God, what did I do? What did this mean? I must still be drunk, right? I mean that's gotta be it, right? People do lots of stupid shit when they've been drinking, things they wouldn't normally do.
I was working myself up to a full-blown panic when the car came to a stop in front of my house. I looked from the street to my house and saw all front room windows lit up and the porch light on. I glanced at the clock on the dash that read 1:43 am. Shit, Edward was probably sitting up worrying about me all night while I've been out doing, oh God, I can't even think about it.
I reached for the door hand so that I could exit the car and begin my walk of shame towards my pissed off husband when Rose grabbed my wrist.
"Bella, please… "
Still unable to look at her, I kept my eyes on my house. "Really, Rose, it's fine, I swear. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
"What about your car? You left it at the bar. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow so we can get it?" Her voice sounded shaky and unsure.
"Um, no, that's okay, I'm sure Edward can take me, but thanks for the offer." I desperately wanted out of the car and the growing tension between us.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later then, I guess."
I glanced over at her quickly, barely making eye contact, nodded my head and got out of the car, making my way up the walkway to my porch. I heard Rose's car pull away from the curb and take off down the street. Just then my front door opened, revealing Edward, shirtless and barefoot, and oh yes he was pissed. I could tell immediately from the blaze in his tired green eyes and the tense set of his jaw, this was not going to be pleasant. Edward and I never fought, but then again, we never saw each other long enough to fight.
Edward said nothing to me as I passed him into the house. I noticed the small collection of empty beer bottles on the coffee table sitting next to his phone and the TV remote. I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"You don't know how to answer your phone?" I could hear the barely controlled anger in his voice.
"Yes, I do. It was in my purse, and the bar was loud so I didn't hear it ring, I'm sorry." I turned around to face him. He was leaning against the entry way to the kitchen, arms crossed, and I could see the tension radiating off his body.
"I come home, you're not here, there's no note. I call your phone, you don't answer. I send you texts, you don't reply. I don't know who to call, and I don't have that friend of yours' number."
"Rose, Edward, her name is Rose, you know that." He was purposely being an ass.
"Whatever, I don't have her number and I didn't know where you were. You didn't think it necessary to let me know that you wouldn't be home, or tell me where you're going or who you're with… I mean something, ANYTHING?" His voice was getting louder the longer he spoke, practically shouting the last few words at me. He rubbed his hand over his face. "I mean, Jesus Christ, Bella, I was about to call the cops."
I was trying to remain calm even though I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me with his every word. I thought he was upset because I was out so late and didn't answer my phone, but no, he didn't know where I was in the first place and that was HIS fault, not mine!
"I did," I said calmly, leaning against the sink mirroring his position.
"You did what?"
"I told you that I wasn't going to be home, where I was going and who I was going with."
He snorted loudly at that, "You sure as hell did not, because if you had we wouldn't be having this ridiculous conversation at two in the morning!"
"Oh you're right, Edward it is ridiculous because I did call you. I called you this afternoon and told you that I was going out with Rose and Angela for drinks tonight. I told you that I would be home late and not to wait up. Do you remember that phone call? Do you remember speaking to me at all? Or were you too busy with your precious project? Because I seem to recall that you couldn't get off the phone with me fast enough. So don't stand there all accusing and self-righteous when you couldn't even manage to give your wife two minutes out of your oh so busy day!" I finished my argument, my words accusing him of so much more than having a bad memory.
Edward just stood there looking at me wide eyed like a deer caught in the headlights. I shook my head and put my empty water glass in the sink. I was tired, my head hurt and I was really just done with this conversation. Entirely too much shit had happened tonight, and I wanted to sleep on it and deal with it all later. I turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Edward standing there looking dumbstruck.
I walked into our room and immediately noticed the packed suitcases next to the door. Shit, that's right, his trip, I forgot. Edward was heading back to Phoenix for a week to consult with his old team there on some project that just had to be done in person.
Whatever, he's never here anyway.
I angrily snatched my nightgown off the foot of the bed. I brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my tangled hair, the entire time avoiding my reflection in the mirror; I wasn't sure I would recognize the person looking back at me.
I shut off the light and went to walk out, but as I turned to leave I was stopped short. Edward was sitting on the end of our bed which faced the bathroom door with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees. I leaned against the door frame, just watching him; he looked tired and defeated, I really didn't know how to fix this. He looked up at me with red rimmed eyes and my heart broke for him. He held out his hand to me and I took it. He pulled me to stand in front of him, wrapping both arms tightly around my waist, and pressed his forehead into my silk covered abdomen.
He spoke quietly, "You're right, you did call, and I wasn't paying attention to you... again. I had no right to be angry with you. I'm so sorry, baby. I was just so worried that something had happened to you. When you wouldn't answer your phone I started to panic." He sighed as I began running my fingers through his soft hair. "This is my fault, I'm always so wrapped up with work and you're always home alone." I didn't argue because he was right.
"Things are so messed up right now, but they're gonna get better, I promise. After this trip things will get back to normal, the plans for the new project will be complete, and I can finally relax and start working regular hours. Okay?"
"Okay," I said, bending down and kissing the top of his head. I yawned loudly, sleep pulling heavy on my eyelids. I pulled out of his arms and made my way to my side of the bed. I climbed in and snuggled my head into the softness of my pillow. The bedroom light shut off, and I felt Edward's side of the bed dip down as he climbed in. He curled up behind me, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me tightly against his chest and tangling his strong legs with mine. I could feel his hot breath against my neck, as he planted a few light kisses behind my ear.
"I love you, my Bella, so much," he whispered in my ear.
"I love you too." I pulled one of his hands up and kissed his palm, entwining his fingers with mine, settling them against my belly.
I adored him and I knew deep down that I would love him until the day I took my last breath; so why, as I lay here, wrapped in the arms of this beautiful man, were my thoughts drifting to someone else? I floated to sleep on a cloud of guilt and confusion to be dealt with another day.
Waking up the next morning was excruciating. My eyes hurt, my head hurt and my mouth tasted like old dishwater. I glanced towards the bedroom door where the suitcases were the night before; they were gone. I guess he already left. I decided my goal for today was quiet and comfort, so after I took a shower and finished my morning routine I slipped on a pair of yoga pants, one of Edwards old band T's, and a pair of soft toe socks.
Making my way into the kitchen, I noticed a note on the dining table. I put on some coffee, threw a bagel in the toaster, then picked up the note and read…
Left for Phoenix, I'll call you when I get in. I love you.
I settled myself on the couch for the day, wrapped up in a blanket, watching bad daytime TV and napping on and off, still refusing to think about certain events. Around noon the phone rang, I picked it up assuming it would be Edward; it wasn't, it was a wrong number. The phone rang again around 2:30, I again thought it might be Edward, and again it wasn't, it was Rose… I didn't answer.
I awoke later that evening with a sore body and a stiff neck from sleeping on the couch all day. After sitting up in the dark room I realized that I was absolutely starving, and that Edward had never called, I was forgotten again, it seemed. I wasn't really in the mood to cook, so I figured I would head down to the deli around the corner and pick up a sandwich and a slice of strawberry cheesecake. I slipped on my sandals, grabbed my purse and headed out. As I turned to lock the door, I remembered that my car was still parked at the bar and I had no way to go get it.
Annoyed, I went back into the house and grabbed the phone. I was obviously going to have to call someone to take me to my car. I stared at the phone. Normally, I would have called Rose, but I was not ready to deal with what happened last night and I knew that if I called her there would be no getting around it. So that left me with one other person, Angela.
Twenty minutes later, I had my car and was on my way home, food in hand. I took three bites of my sandwich and ate cheesecake 'til I was sick. I watched a marathon of Cheaters and waited for Edward to call. He didn't. I wasn't surprised. He talks a good game, but when it came down to it work always came first, I wondered if it always would. I could call him, but I didn't think I could handle being blown off again. I really hoped he meant it when he said things were gonna change after this week, because I wasn't sure how much longer we could go on like this. I curled up under my blanket on the sofa and thought about Rose before letting sleep pull me under once again.
It was Friday, and I had successfully managed to avoid everything and everybody for three whole days. Well, that's not entirely true. I had spoken with Angela yesterday, and we made plans for her to come over and hang out with me tonight since Ben had to work late.
Edward finally decided to call me last night, but I was too hurt and angry to answer; he left me a voicemail which I'm sure was full of excuses, so I deleted it. I also avoided Rose. She called once on Wednesday and sent a text on Thursday. I wasn't upset with her; I just didn't know how to deal with her. I was confused and it was just easier to avoid her, but I knew I couldn't do it forever. Rose was pushy and wouldn't be ignored for long.
Later that day I was in the middle of cleaning out my closet when my phone chimed, alerting me of an incoming text. It was from Rose, letting me know that I had until 2 pm to call her or else. Then she kindly reminded me that she had my emergency house key and she would be more than happy to use it if need be.
Shit. What time was it? 1:45. Well, at least she gave me a fifteen minute warning, how thoughtful. I sat on the floor staring at the phone in my hand and at 1:59 I pushed send. It rang once, twice, thr−
"Oh why hello Bella, what a surprise, I didn't expect to hear from you," she answered in a sickly sweet tone, sarcasm dripping from every word.
"Yeah, yeah you're hilarious. But before you bitch me out, I just wanna say that yes, I know I have been avoiding you like the plague, yes, I suck at dealing with life and yes, I know I am a shitty friend." I paused, there was silence for moment.
"You done yet?" she asked.
"Umm, hold on." I took a deep breath, "okay, go ahead, do your worst, I'm ready."
"Hmmm," Rose hummed thoughtfully to herself, "as much as I would enjoy making you feel like shit and giving you hell for your aforementioned grievances…I really don't think I will."
It was not like Rose to pass up an opportunity to prove someone wrong or make her point known; she lived for such things. Before I could ask her if she was feeling okay she continued.
"If I know you, and I think I do, you have been cooped up in that house all alone, driving yourself crazy with guilt, watching bad daytime TV and binging on deli cheesecake. Am I right?"
I huffed loudly, "Yeah, whatever." Rose laughed at my childlike behavior and then got serious. "I think you know we have to talk about what happened, and I also know that Edward is out of town 'til Saturday."
"Damn you Angela," I muttered under my breath. "Okay," I agreed, "you're right… let's talk."
"Nope, we're not gonna do this over the phone. Nice try. When can I come over?"
I figured it was best just to get it over with. "Well, Angela is supposed to be coming over tonight at seven with take out for a girl's night. I guess- " I didn't get to finish my thought.
"Okay good, if Ang is coming at seven I can be there by six. That should give us an hour to talk, and then we can party it up, I'll bring the booze! Tequila okay with you?" she asked excitedly.
"What? Party? Rose wait, I really don't thi− "
"Okay, Bella, see ya then. Bye, babe." She hung up. I groaned loudly. Damn her! So fucking pushy, and I really didn't think alcohol was a good idea. We needed to talk, not to get wasted on tequila shots.
I left the closet and figured if people were coming I should at least make sure I didn't stink, so I showered, shaved, and threw on some cut off jean shorts and a white tank top. No sense in dressing up for tequila and take out right. I quickly picked up the house getting ready for company. I checked the time on my phone and realized that Edward called while I was in the shower, leaving another voicemail and a text which read…
Bella, I know you're pissed. I'm sorry… again. Please call me back. I love you ~E.
I stood there staring at the text, and part of me wanted to give in and call him, but the other part, the angry part, said fuck that. He'll be home tomorrow afternoon, and we can deal with his failure as a husband then, but right now it was only quarter to five, and Rose wouldn't be here for over an hour. I crawled up into my bed and cleared my mind.
I was jarred out of my slumber by the sound of my doorbell being rung repeatedly.
"I'm coming, I'm coming! Shit!" I yelled as I flew down the hall. I threw open the door, and Rose just looked at me. She slid her designer shades down her nose and eyed me over the top.
"You look like shit, sunshine," she said as she breezed through the door, carrying a bag in each hand, and made her way towards the kitchen. I shut the door and followed her to the kitchen, sat down at the kitchen table and yawned loudly. I watched Rose as she began unpacking the bags she brought: tequila, lemons, sangria, rum and strawberry daiquiri mix.
"Jesus, Rose! You really think we need all that or are you hosting a frat party?"
"What, this? Oh please, stop being so dramatic, Bella. The tequila is for you, the sangria is mine and the rum and that strawberry crap is for Ang, cuz I know she'll only drink that frozen shit."
"Oh I see, well, it all makes perfect sense to me now." I rolled my eyes. I was being a smart ass; I'm cranky when I wake up. Rose turned to face me, leaned against the counter, crossed her arms and eyed me suspiciously.
"Stop being a bitch. And why are you sleeping at six at night?"
"Because I was tired and I can," I answered coolly.
"It isn't normal, Bella." She paused. "I think you're depressed."
"What? Are you serious? I'm not depressed, Rose. I'm avoiding life, I told you this already. I'm fine, I swear." She plopped down in the chair across from me and looked me in the eyes.
"How's Edward's trip going?"
"I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to him since Monday night." I paused and took a breath, realizing I wanted to, no, needed to get this out. "We got in a fight after you dropped me off the other night, because he is a self-centered prick. He apologized, made promises, left for Phoenix, said he would call and then he didn't. He is an ass and I am refusing to speak to him at the moment."
"So same ole same ole?" she smirked at me. Smart ass. I laughed and the mood lightened a bit.
"Yep, same shit different day. I just thought… well, I don't know what I thought. But he said things will be better after he comes back, and I hope he's right, because I've had about enough of it. If I wanted to live alone I would've stayed single."
"Well, good, it's about time you put your foot down. You've put up with his shit for long enough." Rose cleared her throat nervously. "Now I think we have some other issues to address." I nodded. "Now I'm gonna explain some things to you, so just let me finish before you say anything. Okay?"
"Okay." I sat back and watched her take a deep breath, and steel her shoulders. She looked me dead in the eye and blurted out…
"Bella, I'm bisexual."
I just looked at her speechless, and she didn't say anything else.
"Oookay," I said slowly. "Is that it?" Not really knowing what else to say at that point.
"No, there's more. I, well, I guess I'm more of a lesbian than a bisexual in that I mostly prefer women, but I'm not opposed to an occasional stiff dick every now and then. I married Emmett because I thought that's what I was supposed to do, and don't get me wrong, I loved him, it just got to be too much for him."
"Too much for him?" I was confused.
"See, I have always been attracted to women, but I never thought anything of it. In college I had a few 'lesbian encounters' which I always justified by saying I was experimenting, but deep down I knew I wanted more. Eventually, I managed to talk Emmett into the occasional threesome, and he was all for it at first. But in the end occasionally wasn't enough, and sex with Emmett just wasn't doing it for me, and he knew it. And then one day he came home early and caught me in bed with a girl from work, and that was the end game for him. I guess it was one thing to do it with him, but without him was a whole other deal. We both realized that things weren't working out, that he wasn't what I needed and if we stayed together we would both be unhappy, so we divorced."
"But you stayed close," I confirmed.
"Yes, we stayed close. Very close, in fact, and I usually call him when I feel the need to scratch that other itch and I usually have a girlfriend join us. I've never really been in a serious relationship with a woman, I don't really do relationships so well after the divorce, but I have a few friends I see casually, and they never mind Emmett joining in on occasion. So at the bar that night with you he- "
"He thought I was one of your 'special friends' and that he was gonna be getting some 3-way girl on girl action."
"He's a jackass, it's not like I asked him to meet us, he just happened to be there. He was drunk, thinking with his dick and started running off at the mouth but really he's harmless, Bella, I swear."
"Mmhmm." I'd believe it when I saw it. "Well, this explains… a lot actually," I said, blowing out a breath of air and smiling. The secret of Rose was finally revealed and the pieces began falling into place. The lack of dating, the strange looks and comments, the car… it was all starting to make sense now.
"What happened in the car that night with you, Bella… it shouldn't have happened. I mean, I think you're attractive and I would love to, but you're married and I shouldn't have kissed you. It was wrong and I apologize," she finished and eyed me nervously.
"It wasn't just your fault, Rose, I had too much to drink, things got outta hand and I vividly remember kissing you back. It's not like you forced me or anything and besides, I…I think I kinda liked it," I admitted, my left knee bouncing up and down nervously. "Does that mean I'm gay or something?"
Rose threw her head back and laughed loudly. "Is that what you think? Is that what had you so freaked out? Jesus, Bella, you think everything to death. No, you're not gay. You were drunk, things got heavy and really, who could resist all this?" she said waving her hands up and down her body.
I rolled my eyes at her absurdity. "God, Rose, could you be anymore vain? No, don't answer that, I don't wanna hear it."
She flipped me off. "It's not vanity if it's true, Bella, and I cannot tell a lie."
"What, you're George Washington now? Shut it, lesbo. And for the record, no, I do not think I'm a lesbian, I was just making sure. I was freaking out because, well, okay I might have thought I was a lesbian for like a minute. I just feel all this guilt because of Edward and I just wasn't sure if I should tell him or not. So yeah, I kinda freaked myself out."
"If I were you I'd keep my mouth shut. It was just a silly little drunk kiss and it could get all blown outta proportion and just… don't fuck things up worse than they already are over something that stupid. Okay?"
"I know, I know, I just don't like keeping things from him, but you're right. It would just make shit worse."
I was glad that Rose and I had cleared things up, but it still felt shitty keeping things from Edward.
"So, we good?" she asked me.
"Yeah, we're good."
With that Rose jumped out of her chair and headed for the makeshift bar on my counter.
"Alright, after all that I think I could use a stiff drink or five," she said, pulling my blender down from the cabinet. "Bella, go put on some music, Angela should be here in like 5 minutes with the food."
Three drinks and one very hot delivery guy later the three of us were seated in my living room. The smell of Chinese food permeated the air, and music from an all 90's radio station drifted from my stereo. Partially empty take-out containers and a variety of mixed drinks littered the round maple coffee table in front of me. I was stuffed beyond capacity and well on my way to being tipsy.
"Oh God, I'm so stuffed," Angela groaned from her spot on the other side of the table. "I think I'm gonna puke… I ate way too much." She shifted from a sitting position to lying on her back on the soft tan carpet and closed her eyes.
"The dream is within you," Rose said wistfully from her spot on the love seat next to me.
I turned my head and cracked open one sleepy eye, looking over at her, curious as to what she was talking about. She was sitting on the love seat, her long legs folded beneath her, holding a tiny slip of paper in one hand and a half empty glass of sangria in the other. A fortune cookie sat broken and empty amongst the remnants of the take-out in front of her.
"The dream is within you," she repeated, sipping her fruity wine and licking her lips. "I wonder what that means? Maybe it means I need to have bigger career goals." She thought about it for a second more before crushing the tiny paper between two expertly manicured fingers and tossing it towards the table dismissively.
"Ang, what did yours say?" Rose asked, leaning forward to look at Angela who was currently in a food coma on the floor. I took a sip of my beverage. I was bored, and discussions regarding phony cookie fortunes didn't amuse me. I began softly singing along with the Ace of Base that was currently coming from the stereo across the room and bobbing my head to the music.
"What did my what say?" Angela asked from the carpet, not bothering to open her eyes.
"Your fortune, you know, in your fortune cookie." Rose tipped her glass back, draining it.
"Oh, um, I don't remember, something about being bad. It's on the table there; I'm too full to sit up."
Rose reached over, snatched up Angela's fortune and read, "Nothing is as good or bad as it appears." Well, that sounds like it could be good. Oh, and your Chinese word is vegetable.
"Oookay," Angela replied sleepily from her spot on the floor.
"Rose, you don't actually believe these things, do you?" I asked, hoping that she was just drunk, because Rose was way too intelligent to believe in this crap.
"Bella, the Chinese are ancient and wise people. They know things." She began refilling her glass from the wine bottle on the side table next to her.
I snorted, yep, definitely drunk. "Rose, you do know that fortune cookies aren't actually Chinese, right? They were made up by some guy in California to generate business for his restaurant."
"You're such a non-believer, Bella." She took a large swig of her wine, belching loudly and giggling.
"No, I'm a realist, there's a distinct difference. Me realist, you idiot," I said in my best Chinese accent, pointing a finger in her direction.
"Fuck-ee Off-ee," she said in an equally bad Chinese accent while flipping me the bird. I just laughed and shook my head at her while finishing off the rest of my Mexican martini. I glanced down at Angela on the floor who still hadn't moved, and I wondered if she had in fact died from a Chinese food overdose.
"What did your fortune say, Bella?" Rose moved from her spot on the love seat down to the floor in front of the table and sat Indian style next to Angela.
"I don't know, I didn't open it." I reached down, grabbed the treat off the table and tossed it in Rose's direction. She snatched it out of the air, ripped off the plastic and cracked it open, swiftly pulling out the paper inside. She read it, then looked from the paper to me and then back down again before she fell over laughing, holding her side and waving the paper up in the air. "This is what you get for being a non-believer Bella," she gasped out between very un-lady like snorts.
Angela finally sat up, Rose's loud snorts and giggles bringing her back from the dead. "What'd it say?" she asked Rose.
Rose passed the paper to Angela who looked at it and started giggling and shaking her head.
I was seriously starting to think I needed to cut these two off, even though Angela hadn't even finished her first daiquiri.
"Are you two drunk or just mental?" I raised an eyebrow when they just continued giggling like two school girls. "Whatever, I don't care, ya'll are jack asses." I pulled an olive from my empty glass and popped it in my mouth, refusing to be pulled into their insanity.
"You sure you don't wanna know what it says?" Angela said in a sing-song voice, waving it in front of me, taunting me.
"Fine, lemme see the damn thing." I reached across the table and plucked it from her fingers. I held the tiny fortune up to read,
Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
"What the fuck is this supposed to mean?" I yelled, waving the tiny scrap of paper in front of me. "Why didn't I get a fortune? Everyone else got a fortune?"
Unable to contain it any longer, Rose and Angela exploded into laughter, falling all over each other and pointing at me.
I stood abruptly from the couch and walked around the table "That's it, you two are cut off! Especially you, Rose, ya damn lush." I wadded up the useless non-fortune fortune and threw it at my two friends, who were still giggling loudly at me. I turned to walk out of the room to use the bathroom.
"Tequila shots coming up, ladies, grab the lemon and salt ya'll. Let's get this party started!" Rose yelled from behind me, as the music suddenly got much louder. Oh God, this wasn't gonna end well, I just knew it.
"One, two, three…lick, drink, suck!" Rose yelled. I immediately licked the salt off my wrist, threw back the tequila shot, swallowed, and then, just as the bitter gold liquid began burning a hole through my chest, I popped a lemon wedge into my mouth and sucked hard, the tart juice instantly easing the growing fire in my chest. I slammed the empty shot glass back onto the messy coffee table and looked over at Rose who was just now sucking on her lemon and make a squinty sour face.
The stereo was currently playing a Nirvana playlist from Angela's Ipod, Rose and I were both sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my coffee table, which was currently covered with shot glasses, spilled tequila, salt, used lemon wedges and lemon juice. It was gross, sticky and we didn't care. We were slurring, sloppy and beyond trashed. I lost count of how many shots we had actually done. Angela did a few shots with us, and then took off running down the hallway after the last one. She never came back. Maybe someone should go check on her.
Rose slammed her empty shot glass down on the table and spit her lemon wedge onto the table. She looked over at me and started laughing, which made me laugh too, even though nothing was funny… yep, we were drunk. The world was tilted, my teeth were numb, and nothing could touch me.
"Okay, I'm done, that's enough for me, any more and I'm gonna get sick." I tried to stand up from my spot on the floor, but lost my balance and fell right into Rose, who tried to catch me but her reaction time was a bit off. My falling incident brought on another round of laughter from us, because at this point everything was hilarious.
"Jesus, Bella, if you wanted to be on top all you had to do was ask," Rose said in between laughs.
"Yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you, since you're all about the ladies, right? You would just love these titties all up in your face, wouldn't ya?" I grabbed both my breasts in my hands and rubbed them, because I was drunk and my judgment was quite impaired.
"You do have gorgeous tits, Bella, you have no idea how much I would love to have them in my face and in my mouth. I bet you have pretty nipples too. Do you have pretty nipples, Bella?" She reached out with her index finger and rubbed a small circle over my right nipple.
All joking and laughter immediately ceased with her question, and when she rubbed my nipple with her finger, heat shot straight through to my center as I felt my nipple harden under her finger.
Rose leaned over closer to me and began whispering in my ear, "Haven't you ever thought about it, Bella? What it would be like to be with a woman? How good it would feel?" I could feel her hot, moist alcohol scented breath down the back of my neck and in my ear, which caused goose bumps to pop up and down my arms.
She leaned back when I turned to look at her, her eyes were glassy and her face was flushed, but damn if she wasn't sexy as hell. Her lips were soft, full and pouty. I had kissed those lips before, I had liked it and I realized then that I really wanted to do it again. I licked my lips, not sure what would happen when I answered, so I just whispered, "Yes, but only with you." The alcohol was making me bold, loosening my tongue as well as my inhibitions.
The words from my confession seemed to hang in the charged air between us. As I looked into her eyes they seemed to darken as the corners of her mouth turned up. Using her finger tip, she made a trail from the back of my ear, down my jaw and neck and down my chest over the tops of my breasts. She leaned closer, staring into my eyes, and whispered, "I can show you, Bella. Can I show you how good it can be?" Visions of our kiss in the car flashed through my mind, I recalled how good it felt and I remembered how I wanted to just wrap myself around her.
With her hot breath on my neck, pouty lips, and fingers on my breasts, I could already feel the fire slowly building between my thighs. I knew I had to have more, more of her, so I nodded my head and answered, "Okay."
She quickly lowered her mouth to mine, and I opened my mouth to grant her access. Her tongue, sweet and spicy, wrapped around mine in the sensual dance we had practiced before. One of her hands moved into my hair at the back of my head and the other began to slowly caress my breast. It felt so good, a throaty moan escaped my throat when we heard a door shut in the back of the house. We quickly jumped apart like two guilty teenagers, both of us staring towards the entrance of the living room listening for footsteps or any other noise.
"It was probably just Angela coming out of the bathroom," I whispered, "we should probably go check on her."
"Okay, I'll go check on her and then I think I'm about ready for bed. She had a devious smile on her face. "I'm sleeping with you tonight, right?" I think this was her asking permission to spend the night with me, and in my current state of inebriation I couldn't see how that could be a bad thing.
"Yeah, you're sleeping with me tonight."
The room was pitch black, and the only sounds that I could hear were my erratic breaths and my heart beating wildly out of my chest. I was nervous, my body trembling. I was still tipsy, but my nerves were quickly sobering me up. I was lying in my bed, the bed I normally shared with my husband, and I was wondering what was going to happen when she arrived. I knew what she wanted to happen, but the real question was – did I want something to happen? The answer was yes and I had known it for awhile now, I just couldn't admit it to myself, but right or wrong, we both wanted it, and after tonight there was no going back.
At the very moment my decision was made Rose walked into the dark room, shutting and locking the door behind her.
"Angela is dead to the world, didn't move a muscle the entire time I was getting her in bed." I could hear her getting undressed by the sound of fabric hitting the floor. The bed dipped as she got in. No going back now. She scooted closer to me, and my heart really started thumping, I was so nervous I thought I might pass out. I had never done anything like this before and didn't know what to do.
I could hear Rose's breathing as she pressed her body against the side of mine. She had left her bra and panties on; I could feel them against my heated skin. She held her hand over my heart.
"Are you scared?" she asked in a whisper. "Your heart is beating so fast." She ran her nose up and down the side of my neck.
"Are you sure you want this? We don't have to do anything you don't want to." She was giving me an out. I almost took it, I probably should have, but she smelled so good and her body was so warm and soft against mine, I didn't want her to stop.
I could barely make out her face in the dark. Turning towards her, I said, "I'm just nervous."
"Just relax and do what feels natural. You don't have to do anything; I just want to make you feel good. Okay?"
"Okay," I replied, trying my best to get my nerves under control. Rose began kissing my neck, gradually making her way to my lips where she put her soft ones on mine and began kissing me, slowly at first, but as her tongue mingled with mine the kiss quickly became heated as our tongues sped up. We were frantic, lips, tongue and teeth all meshing together, and it was driving me crazy.
Rose pulled away and grabbed the bottom of my night shirt to pull it off; I sat up and let her remove it. Her mouth immediately found one of my nipples, and I gasped audibly as she began to gently suck on the sensitive skin. She gently pushed me down onto my back as her mouth continued working my breasts. By now I was panting heavily, my body overheated as frenzied lust bloomed hot and wet between my thighs.
I had my hands in her soft blonde hair as she left my breasts and began trailing down my chest onto my belly with her tongue, dipping it into my belly button and sucking a tiny bit of skin into her mouth. I moaned and my hips moved off the bed a bit seeking out some sort of friction. Rose sat up suddenly on her knees, reaching behind her to pop the clasp on her bra. She pulled the material off, and her large breasts spilled out. My hands went to them automatically - I had to touch them. I felt them soft and heavy in my hands; I took a firm nipple in between two finger tips and squeezed, twisting lightly, causing Rose to hiss through gritted teeth. She reached down and put a finger into each side of my lace boy shorts tugging them down. I lifted my hips off the bed and allowed her to pull them off completely.
I was bare before her and nervous as to what was coming next. I had an idea and I was excited… I wanted it. Rose backed up and grabbed my left leg. Lifting it in the air, she began kissing the arch of my foot and sucking on my toes, and holy shit, that felt good. I moaned loudly and I could feel her smile against my foot.
"You like that, huh." She reached over and began doing the same to the other foot. I was so turned on at this point I knew when the time came it wouldn't take much to get me where I wanted to go. I was pulsing, wet and ready to go. Rose explored my entire length of my leg with her mouth and fingers. She licked and sucked her way up my inner thigh until her nose came to rest directly above my sex. She pushed my legs further apart, spread my lips with two fingers and pressed a kisse directly onto my swollen nub, causing my hips to jump towards her.
"Oh God," I moaned quietly. Rose placed kisses all over and sucked on each one of my lips, before licking the entire area with the flat of her tongue in one upwards stroke. It felt so fucking good, I thought my entire body was going to ignite and melt away. Her mouth and tongue were so soft against me, so gentle and precise, it was incredible, and I had never felt anything like it before.
Rose grabbed my hips and pulled me further towards her. Then, spreading my legs, she began to lick at my entrance before dipping her tongue inside me and exploring. My eyes rolled back in my head and my legs shook, "Fuck, fuck... oh Jesus… so good, unnng…" She continued fucking me with her long tongue while simultaneously rubbing my clit. My hands were in her hair as I tried not to grind my pussy into her face, I was so close.
"You taste so fucking good. I knew you would, I knew you'd taste so sweet. I've been dying to fuck you with my tongue for so long." Her dirty words were driving me closer to the edge. "Are you gonna cum in my mouth, baby?" I was unable to speak, only lust and fire entered my thoughts.
She dipped one finger inside me, then two and began pushing in and out at a rapid pace. I threw my head back and gripped the sheets, I knew it was coming, I could feel it building. My clit was throbbing and swollen, the slightest pressure would send me flying. Rose curled her fingers inside me, finding my spot, and then she wrapped her lips around my clit and began sucking hard, and that was it. I tensed, my back arched off the bed, my body exploded and shook as my orgasm hit me hard.
"Yes, fuck yes, oh my god!" I screamed and spread my legs wide, grinding down onto Rose's face, pleasure rocketing through my body, the ecstasy consuming me entirely. Rose continued to suck and stroke me, drawing out the pleasure until my body had no more to give, and I collapsed into a boneless heap, content and sated.
Rose pulled her fingers from my body, brought them to her mouth, and licked them clean. Placing a light kiss right above my clit, she crawled up my body and kissed my lips softly. I could taste myself on her lips, sweet and musky, not bad, just strange. I wondered if Rose would taste similar, but when I thought of doing to her what she had done to me I began to panic.
"You're so beautiful when you come, Bella. I am glad I got to see it." She placed light kisses over my neck and chest. We lay there quietly for a while, not moving or speaking.
"Do you want to touch me, Bella?" she asked suddenly. "You don't have to, but I'd like it if you did."
"Okay," my voice a shaky whisper. I really did want to touch her. I wanted to feel her warmth and wetness on my fingers, I wanted to try and make her feel as good as she made me.
She grabbed my hand and moved it down between her legs and pressed my fingers to her. She lay back and spread her legs open for me. I felt a small patch of soft hair at the top of her, as I took one finger and ran it down her slit and pushing it open. It was warm, soft and very wet. I immediately found her nerve bundle and slowly circled around it, causing her to hiss and her hips to buck slightly.
I moved my finger down, finding her entrance and slowly put the tip of two fingers inside her, making her hips roll. I gathered some of her wetness on two fingers and, coming back up to her clit, began rubbing soft circles on and around it. After a few minutes, she was panting and moaning, circling her hips in time with my fingers. Her breathy moans and movements had me turned on, throbbing between my legs once again.
Suddenly Rose sat up and moved my hand. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes." I was kinda confused as to what she was going to do.
Rose moved down the bed, turning, and put one leg underneath me and one on top of me, in a scissor position. She pushed up and situated our bodies so that our centers lined up with each other. She grinded herself into me, I could feel her swollen nub rubbing against mine, and it was heaven. I moaned and pressed back, and soon we were writhing, rubbing and moaning loudly. Her swollen clit, rubbing against mine, created a delicious friction that felt fantastic, and I knew I was going to cum again quickly.
"Oh fuck, that feels good, I love feeling your pussy on mine. Oh God, harder!" It seemed that Rose liked to talk dirty, and while I was never really into that, hearing her say these things turned me on immensely. At Rose's request I pushed myself against her harder, feeling her clit on mine I began rolling my hips, which seemed to do the trick for both of us. Rose yelled, "Oh God, right there! Don't stop, please don't fucking stop! I...I'm gonna cum!"
I could feel my body about to give me what I wanted as well as I began to babble nonsense, "Yes, yes, fuck, yes..."
Rose suddenly tensed and shrieked, "Oh fuck, I'm cumming!" she started grinding her pussy into me harder than before as she came, which set off my own orgasm, so I pressed right back into her. I could hear her moans of bliss as my body exploded once again, pleasure shooting through my entire body and for those few seconds as I came, only the ecstasy within me existed and nothing else.
As we both came down from our orgasm induced highs, Rose whispered "Fuck, that was good," and began extracting herself from my legs. She climbed up my body and placed a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. When she pulled away, I sighed as my eyelids began to droop; two orgasms in one night were exhausting.
"Thanks for tonight," she whispered into my ear. "It was really good." With that she kissed me on the cheek, and turned on her side, facing away from me. I turned on my side, my back to her, the smell of sex and the sounds of her soft breathing in the air. I pressed the satin sheet to my naked chest and drifted off to sleep wondering what the morning would bring.
When I woke up the next morning I was alone. I sat up in bed, holding the sheet around me and noticed the time, 9:37 am. I looked over to the pillow next to me, which held a piece of paper. I picked it up and read…
We are heading out. Thanks for the girls night, call ya later.
Last night came rushing back to me in an instant. I groaned, threw myself back on the bed and pulled the covers over my head. See, this was the kind of stupid shit that I did when I drank. For some reason I thought it would be a really good idea to jump into bed with my lesbian best friend and have an orgasm fest, not thinking of the consequences. I knew Edward was gonna be home in a few hours and I was going to have to deal with him, and now I just made everything a thousand times worse.
My eyes began to burn with tears at the realization of what I had done. I angrily wiped the tears away, refusing to let myself cry. I fucked up, crying wouldn't fix anything. I just needed to figure out what to do, but first things first; I needed a shower… badly. I was covered in dried sweat, saliva and smelled like the essence of Rose. Under the hot spray, I washed my hair and then went to scrubbing my body, focusing on the area between my thighs, as if I could scrub away last night's events with vanilla body wash.
I gave up on my scrubbing and leaned my forehead against the shower wall, reflecting on what had happened last night and what to do about it. I made a conscious decision to do those things with Rose. Drunk or not, I had wanted it, I wanted to see what it was like and I didn't actually regret doing it. I felt guilty because I cheated on Edward; yes, it was with a woman, but I cheated and I enjoyed it.
What kind of person does that make me? What does this mean for my marriage?
Sitting in the bottom of my shower and pondering the answers to these questions, I ultimately came to the conclusion that yes, I loved my husband, and yes, I had fucked up, but I really wanted things to get better in our marriage. I wanted things to work and I knew that for that to happen I was going to have to come clean and hope he would forgive me. I wasn't sure what this would mean for my friendship with Rose, but I did know that what I did last night was a mistake I would not be repeating.
I got out of the shower, and got ready to face the day. I started some laundry, and cleaned up the house a bit. Edward's flight got in at 11:00 am, and it would take him about an hour to get home. I just needed to stay busy until then.
By noon I was an absolute wreck, sitting on the edge of the sofa in the front room, my hands twisting around each other. I wasn't sure how to tell him about what I had done. It would be so much easier to just keep my mouth shut and pretend it never happened, but I had to be honest with him; I owed him that much.
I can do this. I can do this. He'll forgive me, he loves me.
I kept telling myself this over and over. What I really wanted to do was go crawl into bed and never come out, but I had to do this, this was my life, and I had to take control of it. I wasn't leaving it up to fate, luck or some silly non-fortune in a cookie; I was taking control of my future, right here, right now. I could do this.
At that moment I heard a car pull up in the driveway and a car door slam. It was him, he was here and I was ready. Keys in the door and the front door swung open. I heard footsteps in the hall, and his voice called out, "Bella?"
"In here," I answered, my voice shaking. He walked into the front room and stood in front of me. He was beautiful, he was always beautiful, but it didn't matter. He took in my stiff posture, twisting hands and anxious eyes and knew something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He said nothing, but his eyes betrayed him, he was afraid. Edward slowly sat down next to me and waited, his hands clasped together between his parted knees, his gold band gleaming from his left hand.
Swallowing thickly, I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, looked him right in his scared green eyes and began with famous last words…
"Edward, we need to talk."