So... I know it's been a long time since my last update. Sorry. I had a hardcore case of writers block.
OK. I just want to say that I feel this chapter isn't very good. I feel like it doesn't flow right. But whatever.
It had been a week since Kendall and Logan's incident in the living room. Both boys were pretending nothing had happened. Kendall tried his hardest to hide the pain he was feeling. Logan was trying to sort through all the confusion in his mind.
Katie, James, and Carlos-hell, even Ms. Knight-noticed something was wrong. Both of them were walking around looking hurt. Neither of them would say what was wrong. It was frustrating to their friends. Didn't they realize they would feel better if they talked about whatever was wrong?
"Honey, are you OK?" Ms. Knight asked her son. She had been asking him that everyday for the past week.
Kendall groaned. "Mom, I'm fine." He went back to eating his breakfast in silence. He could feel Logan's eyes on him, but refused to look. Wasn't Logan aware that staring at him wouldn't help Kendall heal his broken heart? Asshole.
James stood up. "We should get to the studio now."
As they walked, Kendall stayed as far away from Logan as possible. Before their little adventure in the living room, Kendall made sure he was next to Logan.
Carlos placed an arm around Kendall. "Are you sure you're OK, man?"
Kendall sighed. "Yes. I'm fine."
"You're not acting like it."
"You need to get your eyes checked, Carlos." He smack Carlos on the chest lightly.
"You know what would make you feel better?"
Kendall laughed. It felt good to finally laugh for real. It had been awhile. "Corndogs only make you feel better."
Rage was boiling inside Logan as he watched Carlos make Kendall laugh. He had no idea why. Carlos was able to make everyone laugh. But somehow it was different this time. Logan wanted to be the one to bring a smile to Kendall's face. At least once. He'd been trying all week, but Kendall acted as if he didn't exist. Every time he tried to start a conversation, Kendall would either ignore him or give one syllable answers. It all made him feel a little sick.
During the car ride to the studio, Logan watched Kendall. He was silently begging Kendall to look at him. Logan felt that Kendall making eye contact would prove that Kendall didn't hate him. He couldn't stand the thought of Kendall hating him. Kendall was his closest friend. He would die if he lost Kendall.
"OK, dogs," Gustavo said. "Today we're going to start working on a heartbreak song."
"Oh, the irony," Kendall mumbled.
"What'd you say?" James asked.
"Uh. Nothing." Kendall didn't realize he had said that out loud.
Logan felt a pain in his stomach when he heard that. He felt like the king of douches.
After they were finished all their work for the day, Gustavo stopped them. "Which one of you ordered a movie called Fed-Exxx?"
Kendall was slightly thrown off by the question that he temporarily forgot he was upset with Logan. He shared a quick glance with Logan and they tried not to crack up.
"No, Gustavo," Kendall said. "Why would one of us watch a movie with such a stupid title?"
Logan nodded. "What kind of film is it?"
Gustavo turned beat red. "Never mind. Just go."
The boys quickly left Gustavo. Kendall and Logan were laughing like crazy.
James turned to them. "Did you two watch a porn while we were on tour?"
"Maybe," Kendall said with a smirk.
"Was it any good?" Carlos asked. James gave him a look of disbelief and smacked the back of his head.
"It was just like every other porno," Logan told Carlos. He looked at Kendall and wondered if he too was thinking about the events that took place after the movie.
As they rode back to the Palm Woods, things seemed normal. All four of them were laughing and joking. Kendall was even acknowledging Logan's presence.
Once home, the boys separated to get changed since they all decided to go to the pool.
Kendall was actually feeling a little better. As long as he didn't pay too much attention to Logan, he figured he could survive. After all, he had missed talking to Logan.
"Today's been fun so far," Logan said to Kendall.
"Yeah," Kendall agreed without looking at his friend.
"Um... Can I ask you something?"
Kendall turned to Logan. He saw that Logan has already changed into his swim trunks, and thankfully, had a shirt on. "Ask away."
Logan took a deep breath and stepped closer to Kendall. "Are things back to normal now?"
Kendall's heart thudded in his chest. "Normal how?"
Another step closer. "Like, are things cool with us?" Yet another step. "Are you going to start acting like the Kendall I know and l-"
Kendall put a hand over Logan's mouth. "Don't you dare say that," he whispered harshly. "Things were on the way to getting better, but you just fucked that up. You can;t just go throwing that word around to me. Especially since you know how I feel." That was the first time Kendall announced his feelings since the living room. "Do you enjoy ripping my heart into millions of pieces? Jesus, Logan. Have you even considered my feelings? Or is this all about you?"
Logan pushed Kendall's hand away. He had never seen Kendall so furious. "Of course I think about your feelings. That's why I didn't want anything to happen again. I knew it would complicate things."
"You think I only dropped the L word because we jerked each other off in the living room?" For the smartest person of their group, Logan could be pretty stupid.
"I don't know," Logan said quietly.
"God, you're such an idiot sometimes. It wasn't just a sudden thing. It's been slowly happening since New York."
Logan's stomach did a flip. "Oh. Really?"
"Yes, Logan. Really."
Kendall watched Logan just stare at him. He could tell Logan's mind was moving a mile a minute. But what was he thinking?
Logan was cursing himself for not noticing. Kendall had started to fall in love with him after New York? He thought back to that last month of touring. There was always more touching between them. More looks. They always stood next to each other. Then something clicked in Logan's mind. It wasn't just Kendall doing those things. He was too. Could he be in love with Kendall too?
Logan went to touch Kendall's hand. Kendall moved his hand away as if Logan had some kind of disease.
Kendall tilted his head. "You what, Logan?"
"I... I..." Logan ran a hand through his hair. He really didn't know what he wanted to say. What should he say? Tell him how he feels? How does he feel?
Although Kendall was pissed at Logan, he was beginning to worry. Logan was standing completely still. He also looked like he was about to puke. "Logan? You look sick." He put a hand on Logan's forehead.
Logan reached up and pulled Kendall's hand off his head. He then just stood there, staring at their attached hands.
Kendall cleared his throat. "Um. Logan? What are you doing?"
"Kendall. I. I, um. I gotta go." Logan practically ran out of 2J. He needed to clear his head.
James and Carlos had heard the conversation. They were listening at the door. When Logan came out, they quickly hid.
Soon after, Kendall slowly walked out of his room. Carlos and James followed him to the living room.
"What's going on with you and Logan?" James asked.
Kendall jumped. He didn't know his two friends were still around.
"Tell us," Carlos demanded.
Kendall figured he might as well tell them. They knew something was up, and Kendall couldn't keep it a secret anymore. "Something... happened.. in New York."
"What?" his friends asked.
"Um." Kendall looked down at the floor. "We kinda had sex."
James asked, "How do you kinda have sex?"
Kendall chuckled. "OK. We had sex. Uh. It was my first time."
"Like ever?" Carlos asked.
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Yes, Carlos. Anyway, I'm kinda-"
"Kinda?" James asked.
"I am in love with him. Or whatever."
"I knew it!" James yelled.
"It's so obvious you and Logan are in love."
Kendall shook his head. "Logan doesn't love me."
"Of course he does."
"James, you weren't there. What happened in New York was just a fuck to him."
"And it wasn't for you," Carlos stated simply.
"Obviously," Kendall said. "Anyway, we ended up messing around last week-"
"Where? When?" both James and Carlos asked.
"As I said before, it was last week. Everyone else had gone to sleep. And it was on the couch."
"Aw. Poor couch," Carlos said.
Kendall laughed and punched Carlos' arm. "Anyway, afterward Logan just flipped out. He was saying it was a mistake, but he was the one who initiated it. Um. That really upset me. Then he just walked away. I whispered that I love him. He pretended like he didn't hear, but I know he did since he stopped walking for a second."
"What a douche," James said angrily.
"He broke your heart," Carlos said.
Kendall was glad his friends weren't freaking out over the fact that he loved another guy. He figured that was just what true friends did. Accept you for who you are. Then again, his friends were fucking weird.
"Yeah. He did," Kendall said with a sigh. "Look. I'm going to go sleep. You guys can head off to the pool."
Once Kendall left, James and Carlos ran to the pool. They glanced around and quickly found who they were looking for.
"Katie!" they yelled when they went up to her. "We know what's going on with Kendall and Logan!"
"Well, spill!" she commanded.
"Something happened between them in New York," James said.
"Something kids should not hear about."
"Kendall fell in love with Logan," Carlos told her.
"Yeah. And Logan loves him back."
James said, "But he's lying to himself about it."
"So what happened between New York and now? Everything was fine before."
"They had another moment," Carlos said.
James continued, "Logan started it, but said it was all a mistake after. As Logan walked away, Kendall confessed his love. Logan acted like he didn't hear it."
Katie looked mad. "Logan broke my brother's heart."
Carlos and James nodded.
"I'm gonna kill him. Where is he?"
"No clue," James said.
Katie sighed. "Where's Kendall?"
"I'm gonna go talk to him. You guys stay here."
Katie walked back to the apartment and knocked on Kendall's door.
"Go away!" she heard Kendall yell.
Katie tried the door. It wasn't locked, so she walked in. "I hear Logan broke your heart."
"Jesus," Kendall said as he sat up. "Word travels fast."
"How long have you loved him?"
Kendall felt weird talking to his little sister about it. But then again, she was strangely mature for her age. "It just slowly happened during the last month of the tour."
Katie nodded. "That's what I figured."
"Never mind." Katie went and sat on Kendall's "What are you gonna do?"
Kendall shrugged. "Try to get over him. Then after we can try to mend our friendship." Logan had been his best and closest friend. He needed Logan in his life.
"What about Jo?"
"You know, your girlfriend."
Kendall forgot about her. "Shit."
"You need to break up with her."
"Why? She could help me get over Logan."
Katie rolled her eyes. Boys are so stupid, she thought. How do two guys ever manage to make a relationship work? "It's not fair to be with her while you're in love with someone else."
She had a point. "But what do I tell her?"
Katie shrugged. "I don't know, Big Brother. That's your business."
Kendall groaned and laid back down. "This is all too complicated. Maybe Logan was right. What happened last week just fucked everything up."
"Well, from what I hear it's Logan's bad. You didn't do anything wrong."
Kendall sat up again. "Are you saying Logan did it on purpose? Just to mess with my emotions?" Kendall was a little pissed at his sister. Logan would never intentionally hurt him. Yeah, Logan broke his heart, but he didn't mean to. Did he? No. He couldn't have. He just kept making mistake after mistake. Kendall being one of them. And those mistakes just happened to hurt people. Well, hurt Kendall.
"That's not what I'm saying," Katie told him.
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm just saying that Logan is the one who started it. If he didn't want to complicate things, then why'd he do it? And who started it in New York?"
Katie shook her head. "Logan is such a dumb ass. If he loves you, why does he keep doing this to you?"
"What's wrong with you people? Logan doesn't love me! He was just using me to get off!"
"I so didn't need to hear that," Katie mumbled.
"Logan's just freaking out because he's having issues admitting his feelings. I mean, he's been looking as hurt as you all week."
"No he hasn't."
"How would you know? You've refused to even glance at him! I don't think he's even slept. Logan has broken his own heart too."
"I hate to tell you this, but you're wrong."
Katie stood up. "No, I'm not." She started to leave, but paused at the doorway. "You better break up with Jo. Today. Don't keep leading her on. She deserves better."
The walk did not clear Logan's mind. He was even more confused. All he wanted to do was make things right with Kendall. But every scenario he ran through his mind just wouldn't lead to good things. Even apologizing wouldn't work. But what else could he do? Maybe he should just let Kendall cool down? But how long would that take? Kendall could hold a grudge for a long time.
A sad thought hit him. What if Kendall wanted to switch rooms? For some reason, that hurt. A lot. And not just because sharing a room with James or Carlos would be fucking annoying. It hurt because that would mean everything he had with Kendall was over. For good.
Logan stopped walking and groaned. What did he even have with Kendall? Yes, they were friends. Was there something more? Kendall obviously felt something more. Logan desperately needed to know if he, himself, felt something more.
He started to run back to the Palm Woods. He ignored the stares of others as he dashed through the lobby and up the stairs. As he made his way down the hall, he collided with someone and fell on his ass.
"What the fuck, Logan?"
Kendall. Logan looked up. "You're talking to me?" He got a feeling of hope.
"Having someone crash into me caused me to forget my anger for a second." Kendall put out a hand for Logan. Logan took it and he stood up.
Kendall tried to pull his hand away, but Logan gripped it tightly.
Kendall sighed. "Logan, I don't have time for your bullshit."
"Jesus, not this again." Kendall was just about to push Logan away when he felt lips press against his. Without thinking, he kissed back. It was painfully sweet. Amazing. Perfect. Then he remembered Logan was an asshole and pulled himself out of his friend's embrace. "You're a real son of a bitch, you know that?" Logan opened his mouth to speak, but Kendall shut him up with his fist.
"Holy fuck," Logan whispered while holding his left cheek. He sighed. "I deserved that."
"You bet your ass you did. What made you think you could do that?"
"I needed to see something."
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Well, I hope putting me through even more pain helped."
"Kendall," Logan went to touch him, but Kendall pushed by him.
"I have something to take car of."
"None of your fucking business!"
Logan watched him walk away. He let out a sad breath. The kiss had answered some questions. What Logan felt inside wasn't friendship or even lust. It was a more intense and heart pounding feeling. Fuck.
He walked into 2J and immediately felt a tiny hand slap him. In the exact spot Kendall had punched him.
"Jesus. Do all you Knights aim for the same spot?"
"You're a real jackass, Logan," Katie said angrily.
Logan gasped. "Katie, did you just swear?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm allowed to swear. Now, go sit on the couch."
Logan did as she commanded. He watched as Katie quickly called someone. Then she stood in front of him with her arms crossed. Soon, Carlos and James came flying in. They stood on either side of Katie and mirrored her pose.
"Katie, did you punch him?" Carlos asked.
"But he's getting a bruise," James said.
"I just slapped him is all."
Logan interrupted. "Kendall and I had a little argument and he punched me."
"What did you do to my brother this time?"
"We all know what happened between you two in New York," James told Logan.
"And what happened last week on the couch," Carlos added.
Logan paled. "He told you?"
They all nodded.
"What's wrong with you?" Katie asked.
"What? You have a problem with two guys being together?"
Katie slapped Logan again in response. "No! I got a problem with you breaking my brother's heart."
Logan started to feel queasy. He put his head in his hands. "Oh God. Kendall hates me. I knew it. He hates me. He hates me."
Katie looked at the other two members of Big Time Rush. "If only Kendall was hear."
Logan looked up. Tears were in his eyes. "Why?"
"So he could see your pain."
"Katie," James whispered. "That's kind of harsh."
"So?" she said. "It would make him feel better. Then he'd know that Logan is hurting too."
"I don't know where you're going with this," Carlos said.
"One of the reasons Kendall is in pain is because he thinks Logan was just using him to 'get off' or whatever. But look at Logan."
The three stared at the boy on the couch. He was a mess. He didn't seem to be aware he was crying. All color had left his face. He looked like he wanted to die. It was pathetic.
"Hi heart is broken too," Carlos said.
Katie nodded. "Yup. Which he damn well deserves. But Kendall thinks Logan doesn't love him back."
Logan let out a moan of pain and upset. "How could he love me?"
"Say what?" Katie, James, and Carlos asked.
Logan leaned back and put an arm over his eyes. "That first time it was just to... relieve... frustration."
"The second time?" Katie asked. She couldn't help but think she was a little too young to be dealing with all this. How'd she end being the mature one?
"Why does it matter? He only fell in love because of a fuck."
"Katie, maybe you should leave," James suggested.
"I don't care how uncomfortable this is for any of us," Katie said. "I'm not leaving before I get answers. Now. The second time."
"It just... kinda... happened."
"Bull." Katie needed the truth from Logan. With the truth, all the drama would be over-well, a good chunk of it. And it would help heal her brother's heart.
Logan stood up. "What do you want me to say?" he screamed. "You want me to tell you how Kendall haunts my dreams every night? How I sometimes want to throw Carlos and James out a window just so I can be alone with Kendall? You want me to tell you about how hard my heart pounds when he walks into a room? About how I have to restrain myself from touching him out of fear of jumping his bones? About how I have to tell myself to not stare at him? About how I can only get through sex with my girlfriend by thinking of him? About how bad I wanted our moment in New York to happen again? About how I was in cloud fucking nine last week on this very couch? You want me to tell you how much his pain kills me? Do you have any idea how much I've just wanted to kiss away all the hurt? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?"
"That was actually pretty good," Katie said. "But you left out one important thing."
"That you're in love with Kendall!" James and Carlos yelled.
"Being in love with one of my best friends would just screw my life up."
"It already has!" James told him.
"It's too late to fix now!"
Katie kicked Logan's shin. "No it's not!" Then she softly said, "You can start fixing it when you admit your feelings to both Kendall and yourself."
"Just say it," Carlos urged.
Logan said, "I guess-"
"Guess?" James asked.
"Fine. I am in love."
"With who?" the other three asked.
"Kendall. I'm in love with Kendall mother fucking Knight! You happy?"
They all nodded.
"Well," Logan said. "Now I'm emotionally drained, I'm gonna go take a nap."
As he walked away, Katie said, "I'm never going to be able to look at my brother, Logan, or Camille the same again."
"Kendall, please say something," Jo begged. He had just been sitting their silently for several minutes.
"I don't know where to begin."
"Just... say it."
"I, um. Cheated on you while on tour. And last week."
Kendall could tell she was fighting the urge to bitch slap him. "Who? Do I know her? It has to be someone I know, right? I mean, you did whatever with her last week. Ugh. Is this because I'm not ready for sex? Because that's so unfair."
"Well, here's the thing," Kendall began. "It was someone you know, but-"
"Who is she?"
"I cheated on you with, well, a guy."
Jo tilted her head. "So... you're gay?"
Kendall was taken aback. Carlos, Katie, and James didn't ask that. They just accepted it. "I don't think so."
"So you're bi?"
Kendall sighed. "I don't know! All I do know is that I lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, Logan during our last month on tour."
Kendall nodded. "Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell me right after it happened?"
"It was only supposed to happen once! And I'm pretty sure love wasn't supposed to be thrown into the mix."
"That doesn't explain why you didn't tell me!"
"How was I supposed to tell you I got fucked by another dude?"
"You forgot to mention the love part!"
They both stopped speaking. Finally, Jo asked, "How did it happen?"
"We were horny. Logan came onto me, I guess, and I didn't stop him."
"You always did like Logan more than James and Carlos. I just didn't realize how much."
"That's not true."
Jo shook her head. "It is. You were always close with him."
"But now he's being a huge piece of shit."
"You didn't just come here to tell me what happened."
"You want to break up."
"Yeah. Are you mad?"
"Of course I am!" She took a deep breath. "But you're confused and hurting, so I guess I'll be able to forgive you. With time. Just... if you get together with him, don't flaunt it in front of me."
"Jo, he doesn't even feel the same."
Jo rolled her eyes. "I think you're wrong about that."
Kendall didn't know what people were smoking. What was making them think Logan had feelings for him? "Whatever." Kendall stood up. "I'm so sorry, Jo."
She didn't say anything as Kendall left.
Logan woke up from his terribly short nap and walked to the kitchen to get a drink. He could feel James, Katie, and Carlos watching him while he did so.
"You feel any better?" Katie asked.
"No," Logan said as he took a sip of water.
The door opened and Kendall walked in. He paused when he saw Logan. They just stared at each other.
Kendall noticed that Logan looked a wreck. A bruise was forming on his cheek, he looked insanely tired, and had an extreme case of bed head. Somehow he still managed to look adorable.
"How'd it go?" Katie asked.
"Well, she didn't kill me," Kendall answered, his eyes not leaving Logan's.
"What exactly were you doing?" Logan wanted to know.
Kendall showed no emotion as he said, "I broke up with Jo."
Logan's heart thudded in his chest. "Can we talk?"
"No." Kendall walked away and headed to his room. He knew Logan was following him, so he quickened his pace.
It sucked that Kendall was taller than Logan. It made it difficult for Logan to keep up with him. Kendall reached their bedroom and slammed the door shut. Logan heard the lock click.
Logan got to the door and pounded on it. "Kendall!" There was silence on the other side of the door. Logan placed his head on the door. "Please let me in," Logan begged pathetically. Still no answer.
Logan sighed. "Fine. I'll leave you alone. Forever if you want. Well, I have to take care of something." Logan placed his hand on the door briefly then left.
"Where are you going?" James asked Logan as he charged through the living room.
"I need to break up with Camille."
"Thank God," Katie said. "I had to tell Kendall it wasn't right to keep dating Jo. You really are the smart one, Logan."
"Thanks," Logan said as he shut the door.
He reached Camille's apartment and knocked urgently.
"Hi, Logan," Camille said when she opened the door.
"I need to talk to you."
Camille took a deep breath. "I've been waiting for this. Come in."
They went into her living room and sat down.
"You've been waiting for this?" Logan asked.
"You've been acting weird since you got back from tour."
"Oh yeah. So what's going on?"
"Well, I slept with someone while on tour."
Camille shrugged. "I gave you one freebie per tour."
"But this is different."
"It was Kendall."
Camille's mouth dropped. "That. Is. So. Hot."
Logan chuckled and rolled his eyes. Of course Camille would be excited about it. "Well, there's more to it than that."
"Wait. Before you continue, who was the top?"
"Just tell me."
"Anyway, we messed around last week too."
Camille glared at him. "Oh?"
Logan nodded. "Yeah..."
"There's something else, isn't there?"
"Yup. Um. Well. I'm in love with him."
Camille was silent for a beat. "Damn. I should've seen this coming."
"Just the way you and Kendall are together. Even before, you two were kinda... flirty with each other."
Logan sighed. "I never noticed that."
"You wouldn't. So. You're dumping me?"
"Is that OK?"
"Well, I don't want to date a guy who's pining for someone else."
"Do you hate me?"
Camille shook her head. "I love you, Logan. And, yeah, if you get with Kendall it'll hurt seeing you with him. And someday I'll get over you and find an awesome guy."
Logan smiled. "I'm sorry, Camille."
"It's OK. You go get your man."
"Well, that'll be hard. He's pissed at me."
Camille tilted her head. "Why?"
"I kind of flipped out after what happened last week. He told me he loved me, and I ignored it. I broke his heart."
"Logan! That's such an assy move!"
"You go back to your place and fix this!"
"He won't give me the time of day!"
"Don't give up!"
"Why are you so passionate about this?"
"I don't want our breakup to happen for nothing! And I want you to be happy. Kendall too. Now go!"
Logan and Camille got up and she showed him the door.
"Oh. Kendall broke up with Jo," Logan told Camille.
"I should go comfort her huh?"
"I guess I'll go get some chocolate and ice cream first."
Katie, James, and Carlos had gone out to dinner with Ms. Knight. They decided they should leave Kendall alone. And hopefully Logan would show up and they could work things out.
Logan had been gone for about a half an hour, so Kendall left his room to go watch TV.
The door opened, and Kendall didn't have to look to know it was Logan. He could feel Logan's gaze.
"I've just been standing outside the apartment for a good fifteen minutes," Logan told Kendall.
"Thanks for the update," Kendall said flatly.
"I was a little afraid to face you."
"I don't really give a shit."
Logan knew Kendall didn't want to talk, but he refused to give up. "Where is everyone?"
"Why didn't you go?"
"I'm not hungry."
Logan walked to the hallway. He knew Kendall would try to hide in their room, so he decided to block the way. "I just told Camille everything and we broke up."
Kendall's heart skipped a beat. He refused to have fantasies of being with Logan just because both of them were currently single. "Good. She doesn't deserve an ass like you."
Logan's chest started to hurt. "And neither do you."
Kendall finally looked at him. "What?"
"You don't deserve an ass either. You're obviously too good for me. I mean, I've just hurt you so much."
Kendall was surprised by Logan's tone. He sounded so sad. "What are you going on about, Logan?"
"I'm just saying that I don't expect you to give me a chance after everything I put you through. Like, I broke your heart."
Kendall stood up. "Um. I'm kinda confused about what you're saying right now."
Logan was aware that he wasn't making much sense. He just had to get all the jumbled thoughts in his head out. "You know, the fact that I broke your heart and knowing you hate me has absolutely killed me."
Kendall stepped a little closer to Logan. "Are you shitting me right now?"
Logan shook his head. He turned around and went to their room. Kendall wanted to know what the fuck was going on, so he followed. Once he got in, he shut the door and locked it. He didn't want the others to interrupt whatever was about to happen if they came home.
Logan was sitting on his bed, ignoring Kendall. He needed to just suck it up and tell Kendall how he felt. But he had never told anyone that he loved them before. No even Camille. It was just so... scary.
"Logan, what the hell is going on in your head?"
"I don't know! I've just never... felt so much before. It's confusing. It's annoying. It's frustrating."
"Right now you're being confusing, annoying, and frustrating," Kendall told him.
"Kendall, I've realized... things."
"What kind of things?" Kendall's heart beat quickened. Was Logan about to tell him what everybody else had been telling him he had been telling him all day? Logan did look really nervous. And his hands were shaking.
"Feelings," Logan said. "I've realized some feelings."
Kendall nodded. "OK."
As they stared at each other, Logan asked, "Don't you want to know what kind of feelings?"
"I'm not sure if I want to know," Kendall admitted as Logan stood up. "Will I just get even more upset?"
Logan stepped forward a little bit. "Kendall... I..."
"Oh my God, Logan! Will you stop saying that and just TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
"Fine! I've finally realized how I feel about you!"
Kendall raised his eyebrows when Logan didn't say anything else. "Well? Are you going to keep me guessing? Or-"
"I'M IN FUCKING LOVE WITH YOU! OK?"
Suddenly, the distance between them was closed, Kendall was pushed up against the door, and their lips collided.
This kiss was different than all the previous ones. Everything was out in the open now. No one was holding feelings back. There was no more confusion.
Kendall could feel Logan gripping onto his hair for dear life. As if Kendall was the only thing keeping him planted on earth. It was glorious.
Eventually, they pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other's. Logan kept his eyes closed, somewhat afraid to look at Kendall. Meanwhile, Kendall was looking at the shorter bot lovingly.
"Did you really mean that?" Kendall asked.
"Can you please open your eyes and then answer?"
Logan chuckled and looked up at Kendall. "Yes. I mean it. Always. And I'm sorry I've been such a douche."
Kendall snorted. "This past week did suck."
Logan pouted sadly. "Which is why I don't deserve your forgiveness."
Logan tried to pull away, but Kendall wouldn't let him go. "I never said I didn't forgive you. Apparently this week has sucked for you too."
"You have no idea."
Kendall placed his hands behind Logan's neck. "Just. Promise to never do that to me again."
"I'd rather die than hurt you so much again."
Kendall laughed. It was the greatest thing Logan had heard in days. He was finally able to make Kendall smile.
"You make it sound like we're in some teen drama show."
Logan removed his forehead from Kendall's. "It's felt like it."
Kendall smiled and touched Logan's cheek lightly with his fingers. "I did a number on your face, didn't I?" he said, referring to the bruise.
"Well, Katie slapping me didn't help."
"It's not important."
Kendall let it go for the moment. There were other things that needed to be taken care of. He leaned down and kissed Logan's injured cheek. He made his way across the jaw until he got to Logan's lips. Almost immediately, Logan requested entrance into the other boy's mouth. Kendall gratefully granted access and let out a sigh of contentment as Logan took control of the kiss.
Kendall pulled back a little. "Logan, I want you," he whispered against Logan's lips.
"And I need you."
Their kisses became more urgent as they blindly made their way to one of the beds. When Logan felt the back of his knees hit one, he allowed Kendall to push him down onto his back. As Kendall climbed on top of him, Logan kicked off his shoes and socks.
"Did you just remove your socks with your feet?" Kendall asked.
"What can I say? I have skillful toes."
Kendall smirked. "You also have a very skillful tongue."
Logan chuckled. He grabbed at the hem of Kendall's shirt then took it off in one swift morion. He pulled Kendall's neck to his mouth and went to work. Sucking, biting, licking.
Kendall groaned loudly. He got up onto his knees and laughed at Logan's scowl. He forced Logan into a sitting position and pretty much ripped his shirt off. He cupped Logan's face with his hands and kissed him, making sure to bite down on the other boy's lower lip. He pushed Logan back down and nipped at his collar bone. He made a point of occasionally biting down hard enough to leave a mark. Kendall wanted the world to know that Logan was his. His lips trailed down Logan's chest and stomach. He stopped at Logan's pants, undid them, and pulled them off.
Logan sighed when Kendall removed his boxers. He then gasped when he felt Kendall's mouth wrap around his member. "Oh God. Kendall." He thrust his hips up slightly to get himself down Kendall's throat further. He could feel himself getting closer to release, but he didn't want it yet. He tapped Kendall's head and mumbled, "Stop."
Kendall removed his mouth and looked a Logan with a frown. "Why? Was it bad?"
"The exact opposite," he told Kendall with a kiss. "I just didn't want to come yet. Take off the rest of your clothes."
Logan sat up as Kendall got off the bed. He watched Kendall slowly undress. He bit his lower lip as he got more aroused by the second.
Kendall just smirked at him. He liked that he was driving Logan crazy.
"Kendall..." Logan said with a warning tone.
Kendall tilted his head to the side, raised his eyebrows, and asked, "Yes, Logan?"
Logan got up on his knees and glared at the other boy. "Get over here. Now."
Kendall found that incredibly sexy and went immediately over to Logan. He was slightly surprised when Logan grabbed him and united their lips. Logan took hold of Kendall's shoulders and guided him onto the bed so that he was lying under Logan. During this process, their lips never separated.
Soon, Logan moved onto Kendall's ear, biting the lobe, knowing how much Kendall enjoyed it.
"Please get inside me."
Logan chuckled. "As you wish." He presented Kendall his fingers. "Suck."
Once he figured it was enough, Logan removed his fingers. Then he slowly inserted both fingers in Kendall's entrance.
Kendall shut his eyes tightly. He had forgotten the pain. But then Logan hit the spot inside of him. "Yes!"
"Are you ready for me?" Logan asked with caution.
Kendall nodded. Logan took out his fingers. He once again used his own saliva as lubricant. As he slowly made his way into the other boy, Kendall let out a whimper.
Logan resisted the urge to move, and instead kissed Kendall's forehead. "You OK, love?" he asked.
Kendall opened his eyes. "Did you just call me love?"
Logan blushed. "Yeah. Does that bother you? Because if-"
"No, no, no. I like it. A lot." He lifted his head and kissed Logan. He wrapped his legs around Logan and said, "You can move now."
Logan pulled out a bit then pushed himself back in. Hard. Kendall screamed out in both pain and pleasure. Though it didn't take long to be just pleasure. Especially when Logan began to to hit his prostate again and again.
The room was quickly filled with the sounds of Kendall yelling Logan's name as well as occasionally shouting "yes" and "oh God." Logan let out dozens of moans and whispered Kendall's name many a time.
Kendall clawed at Logan's back as the pace quickened. Kendall moved his hips to match every thrust Logan made.
"Harder," Kendall cried with a groan. Logan did as he requested and Kendall knew he was getting close, even though his cock had so far remained untouched. He saw that Logan's eyes were still closed, so he said, "I want you to look at me."
Logan smiled and opened his eyes. Kendall's eyes were so full of love it almost made Logan's heart stop."Jesus, Kendall. You're so beautiful."
Kendall just laughed. He made a move to touch himself, but Logan knocked his hand out of the way.
"That's my job," Logan said as he began to stroke Kendall.
Kendall pulled at Logan's hair and said, "Fuck! I'm almost there."
Logan nodded, silently telling Kendall that he was reaching the edge too. Kendall shouted Logan's name as he released all over them both. Seeing Kendall's eyes cloud over from his orgasm caused Logan to finally let go.
Both were panting like crazy as Logan pulled out and placed his head on Kendall's chest. The sound of Kendall's heart beat was probably the most relaxing sound in the world. Then Kendall began to pet his hair and he let out a happy sigh.
"That was better than the first time," Logan pointed out.
"Yeah," Kendall agreed. "Maybe it's because then it was just a fuck. But this time..."
"We made love."
Logan didn't have to look at Kendall to know he was smiling. "Exactly. Do you really think I'm beautiful?"
Logan lifted his head and kissed Kendall's nose. "Of course I do."
"Well, you're fucking gorgeous."
"Way to one up me."
Kendall laughed. "That's what I do." He laid there for awhile just staring at Logan.
"What is it?" Logan finally asked.
"Nothing. I just... love you is all."
Logan smiled. "I love you too. And I promise to never hurt you again."
"I believe you." Kendall let out a breath. "We should probably shower."
Logan smirked. "While we're cleaning ourselves up, we can have a round two."
"You read my mind."
Later, Kendall and Logan were on the couch watching TV. Kendall was laying down with his head on Logan's lap, and Logan absentmindedly ran his hand through Kendall's hair. Logan let out a sigh.
"What?" Kendall asked.
Kendall poked Logan's stomach. "Tell me."
"It's just... I've never been this happy before."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"No. I'm just stupid for postponing all the happiness. I mean, you're happy, right?"
"No, Logan, I'm miserable," Kendall said with sarcasm. Logan flipped his forehead in response. "Domestic abuse!" Kendall cried. Soon, they began slapping each other and somehow ended up on the floor wrestling.
The door opened, and both boys flew up onto their feet. They watched as the other residents of 2J came in. When they spotted them, Logan and Kendall waved.
"So. How was dinner?" Kendall asked.
"Good," his mom told him. "Well, I'm gonna go to my room to read." As she walked away, she gave James, Carlos, and Katie a look. They all nodded.
They heard her door shut, and in a flash the three who arrived were bombarding Kendall and Logan with questions.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Quiet!" Kendall yelled. Everyone shut up. "One question at a time, OK? Katie, you first."
"Has Logan stopped being stupid?"
Logan rolled his eyes. "Yes, I have."
"So... Are you two, like, together now?" James wanted to know.
Kendall looked over at Logan with raised eyebrows.
"I assume we are," Logan said.
"Your assumption is correct," Kendall told Logan.
Carlos and James jumped up and down happily while clapping their hands. Katie just smiled.
"Can we see you kiss?" Carlos asked.
"Why would you-" Logan was cut off by Kendall grabbing his chin and giving him a light kiss.
The other three said, "Aw!"
Logan blushed and Kendall just smiled. But then his face sobered at a thought. "How are we gonna tell my mom?"
"She already knows," Katie informed him.
"We talked about you two at dinner," Carlos said.
"She knew something was going on between you guys," James added. "So we brought her up to date."
Logan gaped at them. "You told her we had sex?"
Kendall paled. "Please say no."
When Katie said "no" they both let out a sigh of relief. "We told her you guys had a moment in New York, and after that moment you fell in love. Then we said that after another moment, Kendall admitted his feeling, but Logan was still in denial. And we said that we hoped you two worked out all the hurt feelings."
"And you did!" Carlos yelled.
Logan looked at Kendall. "Your mom totally knows we had sex."
Kendall nodded. "I guess we should expect a talk tomorrow."
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to make eye contact with her again," Logan said.
Kendall put his arm around Logan. "It'll be alright, darling."
"You're gonna call me darling?"
"Yup," Kendall said with a cocky grin.
Logan rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Well, all the ups and downs of today has taken a lot out of me. I'm hitting the hay early."
He walked away and Kendall followed, calling, "'Night!" to the others.
"I'm glad this drama is over now," Katie said.
Carlos and James nodded.
"I love happy endings," Carlos said with dreamy eyes.
God. There was a lot of eye rolling, eyebrow raising, head tilting, and sleeping in this. Sorry.
Anywho, I hoped the ending satisfied you. :D