By: Neenajo

I'm told I need a disclaimer thingie ma bob: I don't own any characters named here, I am simply borrowing them. Oh, and Jerry Maguire is also not mine, it was someone else's movie made a few years back.



I don't think I have ever been so happy in my life. I never really believed in fate, or miracles. Hell, I don't think I ever really believed in God for that matter. Until fate blessed me. I have a suspicion I sound just like the girls I used to make fun of…gushing over their boyfriends and the teddy bears and flowers. But now I understand all to well how it can feel.

I've been with my fair share of guys. I've been called whore, slut…anything along that line you can think of. I don't know why I do it, really. Maybe…maybe I know that the physical pain that comes from being with some guys is just that…only physical. They can't break a heart they never had right? And my heart has only ever belonged to one person. Ugh, I can't believe I am such a sap at heart.

Every time I passed Jean in the hallways, I would feel sick and…weak. I think that's the only way I can describe it. It took me a while, but I finally realized that SHE was the one person that could make me complete or break my heart in two. Damn it, there I go getting all Jerry Maguire again.

I spent almost six months, admiring her from afar. Admittedly, I had my fair share of angst-ridden "she's-straight-she-will-never-like-you-so-just- give-it-up" moments. I mean, she had Duncan AND Scott right? Earth to Tabby.

But then it happened. IT, the big fate thingie that I didn't believe in. It's hard to believe it was only 2 months ago. In a stupidly, brain-dead, lovesick moment…I wrote her a love note. And I mean, I didn't hold anything back. It came out like a bad version of "How do I love thee…" yadda yadda yadda. I even doodled cute little hearts around the border of the page. I was a moron I suppose, for even writing it, but openly? Where anyone walking by could read it? Idiot.

Taryn, forever after known solely as "the bitch"- although I could go into much greater detail, how I really feel about her- snatched the note in typical high school bitch fashion.

And read it.

Aloud.

In front of the whole lunch court.

Including the girl of my dreams.

I must make note now, that I didn't cry. I guess a lot of people couldn't hear it over all the noise at lunch time. But the damage had been done; word would spread. I already heard a few calls of "Lesbian," and "Queer." Not that that particularly hurt my feelings, because that is just me, it's what I am. Screw them for being bigots and not being able to handle it.

What got to me was seeing Jean. I couldn't really read her expression, but it didn't look too happy. Kind of, disgusted I guess you could say.

But I didn't cry; I did the next best thing. I bitch-slapped Taryn, grabbed the note and ran away. Great thinking Tabby, sure, running is going to you A LOT of good.

THEN, I cried. A broken heart is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. Maybe it's because I am not used to it. I don't know, but I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

That's when the ever present "fate" threw me for another loop. I was sitting in one of the hallways, wallowing in pity. I heard a noise, someone seating themselves next to me. When I looked up, I swear I could hear sappy music in my head, befitting of a bad, teen, coming of age movie that I seemed to have landed myself in. I almost expected her to start a heart-to-heart talk about "Everything is going to be O.K." Instead she just looked at me.

I could only manage a weak, oh-so-lame "I'm sorry."

I would like to say that our first kiss was perfect, like in the movies. She leaned her head towards mine…

Then we just sort of collided in the middle in an awkward sort of half kiss, half accident. Well, I guess it's me that botched it up. Jean was perfect. I was nervous, surprised, psyched, etc., etc. Then she got up and said we'd talk later, and she smiled at me, and I heard that sappy music again.

Now, I have a special someone. Someone I really love…a girlfriend. I almost get giddy and pass out at that word now. I remember not too long ago I was making fun of everyone for that. It's not easy, dealing with everyone's feelings about us being together. But now I am not alone, and I know we can make it through together. My Jean. My miracle.