Okay, I don't really know why there aren't that much of reviews (but THANK YOU so much to LilasRose and ilovebellasuzepotter for giving some!). Is the story bad, or boring, or something? I don't know. :(
Please tell me. Please? It'll really help.
So anyway, here's chappie 3! :D
3 Guilt Trip
"Whoa," I said, looking up at the paper still stuck at the ceiling and feigned amazement, "now that is a Ripley's Believe It Or Not."
And then, all of the sudden, ghost girl reached out behind me and grabbed my wrist, almost crushing it.
"OW!" I cried out, and reacted by flicking her hand away. And then she dematerialized for all she's worth. Stupid ghost. My other hand reached up and massaged my wrist. Oh, she was so gonna get it. I didn't realize that Father D and Jesse were eyeing me with a sort of shocked expression until I looked at them. "Sorry," I muttered under my breath, "just had a crick. No biggie."
Okay, calm down, Suze. God, the things I do to keep myself from being shipped off to the loony bin.
"Well," Father D cleared his throat. "As I was saying," he handed me hall passes and the paper that flew out of his hands just moments ago. I didn't even realize it had fallen back already, "off you go now."
I grabbed the stuff and got out of there. Where was that ghost? I have a bone to pick with her.
"Susannah," I heard a voice behind me say but I ignored it. No surprise there.
My eyes darted in all directions as I walked. She had to be here somewhere. You know, normally, I was quite calm with ghosts. Just don't let them touch me and put me in a situation where I almost expose what a freak I really am. Because, then, they are so gonna wish they were never born.
And who the hell was calling me? Didn't they get the point that I was busy and I was ignoring them?
"What?" I cried out, turning around. And then I saw that it was actually the new guy, Jesse, who was calling me. He was walking towards me, his eyebrows knitted at the center. "Oh," I said, looking down, feeling a bit embarrassed at how I acted just now, "it's you."
"I'm sorry." He told me.
I raised an eyebrow at him. God, he was tall. Like almost a head taller than me. And he had quite a handsome face, really. From his glossy jet black hair and eyebrows, to his thickly lashed deep brown eyes, to his strong set jaw, and to his gorgeous mouth that was on the thin-but-wide side. He could be a model. Okay, maybe he was but who knows?
And what was he sorry about? He didn't do anything wrong. And just like that, I found that all my anger was slipping away like water through my hand. And I was just looking at him! What's that about?
"I'm not," I said, crossing my arms against my chest, "mad at you."
"But you're mad at something." He said, stepping closer and placing a hand on my arm, "I know that you probably have better things to do than lugging me around school like some kid. And I'm sorry that you had to be dragged into this. Believe me, I told them I didn't need someone to help me. I could manage on my own. So if you don't want to do this, it's fine by me. I won't hold it against you, Susannah."
Was this guy actually serious?
I stared at his hand. They were big, warm, and brown. Perfect for, if you think about it, running along my body. Holy cow… what am I thinking? Impure thoughts alert, Suze! I wrenched myself from his grasp and glared at him. My anger creeping back again. This time, directed to myself more than anyone else.
"Okay, one," I told Jesse, "no touching. And two, it's Suze not Susannah. A–"
"Why?" He asked. God, this was so frustrating. "Susannah is a beautiful name. I like it."
I decided to ignore that. Though I could feel my face heat up. No one has ever said that before. That was sweet. Right, moving on, Suze. I cleared my throat, "Okay, as I was saying, it's Suze. And three, I don't really care what you will or will not hold against me. I don't give a damn. I'll do what I do and if you want to tag along, that's your choice. Got that?"
He nodded but there was this amused expression on his face.
Why, in God's name, did he have to be so freakingly hot and so annoying at the same time?
I turned around and walked across the courtyard. When I got to the hallway, I paused to look at Jesse's schedule. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that he only began to move from where we stopped just a moment ago. I told him, "English is this way. And hurry up or we'll be late."
And sure enough, we were. Late, I mean. Mrs. Taylor was already giving her lecture when I entered the room and handed her the hall passes. Leaving Jesse to fend for himself when he entered the classroom, I went and took my seat in between Kelly and Debbie.
The whole class watched as Jesse handed a letter to the teacher and left to sit at the empty seat at the front row without so much as a blink or a mumble.
And then the whole class erupted in an excited buzz. I knew what that hubbub was about. I got it on my first day here too. And let me tell you, it's not a nice feeling to know that people were talking about you behind your back.
All of the sudden, I felt sorry at how I acted towards Jesse.
Kelly turned her honey-colored head towards me and whispered, "Okay, Suze, give us the deets."
"Yeah," Debbie whispered on my other side. "Who's the hottie?"
Great. Now I was joining in this too. Didn't I just say that I didn't like the who's-the-new-student buzz? Guilt was making me feel sick. I sank lower into my seat, wishing I'd just disappear at that moment. As if that'd erase what a hypocrite I was.
"That's Jesse. He's our new classmate."
"And?" they both wanted to know.
"Father D wants me to be his guide. Help him out for the next few days. But… I kinda blew him off."
"You did what?"
"Hello, earth to Suze, did you hit your head or something? Why did you blow off a hottie like that?"
I sank lower into my seat. This was so not helping.
"And you didn't even bother to get to know him even just a little bit on the way here?" Kelly asked. Her eyebrows were raised as she looked down at me, "That's all you know? His name?"
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"Jesus, Suze," Kelly sighed as she settled back in her seat, "no wonder why you haven't been kissed yet."
Thanks Kels, I wanted to say to her, thanks a lot.
But seriously, this got to me. Well, my conscience did.
Twice, I glanced in his direction, you know, to check if he was doing fine. Okay, three times. Four… six times… once every five minutes. Okay, enough, already! I admit, once every three minutes. All throughout the morning subjects.
That's how worked up I was with guilt.
Why did I have to be such a bitch to him anyway? I mean, like I said before, he didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't his fault that I was sent to the principal's office to be his designated tour guide. It could've been anyone really. But because of my own inattentiveness, I was that schmuck. He even said he didn't need help. But they wouldn't listen to him. So no, I had nothing against him. He was just probably looking for a friend in this new environment. I had no reason to be so mean to him. He was just the new guy…
Remember what being new felt like? Yeah, alone and out of place.
I had to set things right.
Damn me and my conscience.
I couldn't sit still and stop fidgeting during lunch. I wasn't even listening to Brad and his group bragging to my friends what they did during summer. I didn't care. All that was running through my mind was that where the hell was Jesse? That I needed to apologize to him. Make everything okay.
And then there he was.
He sat down next to that boy, Adam McTavish. They were surrounded by a group of girls. Many of which – I realized that I didn't really know most of their names mainly because I haven't actually mingled with them – sorry to say, weren't really that much of a looker. A motley bunch. Some were acned, some overweight, some way, way too skinny, too tall or too short, or just plainly a fashion victim. They were, I grasped, that albino girl's posse. Members of the school paper, Mission News. And true enough, I found the albino, CeeCee, sitting across Jesse. They all looked like they were going to pass out any moment as they couldn't believe someone as good-looking as Jesse would deign them with his presence, much less,
speak to them.
I found this quite amusing.
Okay, what was I waiting for?
I swiped some lip gloss over my lips and ran a hand through my hair, shaking it a little. Standing up, I pulled on my top, giving my self a once-over. If I had to do this, I wanted everything to my advantage. And take note of this, people, a little lip gloss can go a long way. Believe me.
As I strutted across the schoolyard, a couple of people stopped talking and looked up. Oh, I had an audience. Great. Not. It's not like it's going to be interesting anyway. But one thing I was sure though, everyone back at the table I just left was watching me closely, I could feel their gaze on my back.
Jesse and the others didn't even know what was going on. The first reaction though, that gave me away, was when CeeCee looked up and her mouth literally dropped. Some of her friends also followed her reaction when they saw that I was really actually going to their table. Funny. Jesse, finally realizing that something was up, turned around just as I got to him.
"Susannah?" he asked me. As if unsure that I was actually there.
"Jesse, can I talk to you?" I told him, staring deeply into his dark eyes. He was still sitting down so I was looking down at him. "Alone."
"Why would he talk to you?" a girl, probably the better looking out of all of them, standing on the other side of the table blurted out. Her hand flew up to her mouth. Like she couldn't believe she just said that.
Excusez-moi? I raised an eyebrow at her, refusing to answer her question. She slowly backed away and hid behind this fairly overweight girl who suddenly looked scared that she was made a shield against me. As if I'd be throwing daggers any minute. Cool, I thought, I didn't know I had this effect on people.
"Okay, fine," I said, looking back to Jesse, "I'm sorry I was rude and mean earlier. I didn't mean to, believe me. I just had a lot of things going on and I took it out on you. That was wrong of me. And you have nothing to apologize for, Jesse. You did nothing wrong. I did and I'm sorry."
At first, Jesse didn't say anything. No one seemed to move at that moment. And then after what seemed an eternity, he stood up and smiled at me. A genuine, heart-warming smile. He said in a soft voice only I could hear, "You didn't have to do that, Susannah."
Now I had to look up to him. His eyes were so entrancingly beautiful. "But I had to."
"Well then, thank you, Susannah." His eyes darted to glance at my mouth for a second before returning to my eyes. And strangely enough, it sent my heart into a backflip.
What was wrong with me?
I gave him a smile before turning around and started to walk away. But then I remembered something, "Oh yeah," I turned back to face him and said, "some of us are going down to the beach later. You know, soak up some sun before fall makes it too cold. Wanna come?"
Jesse let out a soft chuckle. "Sure, I'll see you there."
"Okay, great. Later," I told him and walked back to my table. Kelly, I saw, was watching me with a proud expression on her face.
And then I heard Adam saying in a low voice, thinking that I was out of hearing distance, "Looks like you still got a shot."
But shot to what or to whom he said it, I didn't know.
And I didn't care.
So, that was it.
Hope you liked it. :)
Reviews would be nice and appreciated!