Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own any of the Mary Sues that are featured in this satirical fanfic collection. I am going through an archive of Harry potter Mary Sues I frequent.

"The copyright law contemplates that fair use of a copyrighted work without permission shall be for purposes such as (1) criticism and comment, (2) parody and satire, (3) scholarship and research, (4) news reporting and (5) teaching, and that such fair use will not result in the infringement of a copyrighted work."

Dedication – First and foremost, each Sue is dedicated to the original Suethor of each Mary Sue, who shall remain unnamed, as some have kept their old user names and are still around. Writing a Mary Sue is not a bad thing, it is part of the growing process. You can take something old, and turn it into something new and better.

Also dedicated to all Suethors who have left the site because they were flamed/bullied away. Critique people please! Also dedicated to all the Suethors who never gave up. I myself wrote my own Mary Sue, ever so long ago and I have fond memories of said Sue, though not everyone does.

Magical Mary
~Diana Chambers~

Snatching a Letter

It was mid May when the Chambers' family car drove up into the driveway of the house next door to the Dursley family home. Their daughter, Diana, stepped out of the car as soon as it stopped, brushing away her dirty blond hair from her forehead. A smile spread across her face. That wasn't the Dursley house, but the house of the Harry Potter.

She had a book clutched to her chest, the whole thing worn out from reading the book over and over again. She could feel a rush in her head, adrenaline truth be told, resulting from her excitement of a dream actually having the chance to come true. To the brown eyed girl, she took this feeling to be her true love voicing that this was the best thing.

Actually, when she found out from her parents that she would be moving here, she had planned her move out carefully. She had fallen in love with Potter ever since she had found the brand new book lying in the street. She had read everything, and knew exactly what she wanted to do. Her mother calling her name, caused her to let out a yelp.

"Come now, Diana... you start school tomorrow," the woman sighed.

"That is part of the plan," the girl chirped, turning to her mother with bright almond shaped eyes.

Her father made a face at this. "Diana... we're your parents. We're the ones doing the planning here. It is rather odd for someone to come out and say something like that, considering the situation."

However, Diana simply skipped up the pathway, her smile plastered over her face. As soon as she got to the front door, she happened to hurry up the stairs to the room she knew was hers. It was completely unpacked and ready for her to use right away. She opened up her window and glanced out. However, with the setting sun, she couldn't see anything.

~H-P~

At school the next day, she found herself being introduced to the entire classroom. She grinned broadly at everyone and looked around for her Harry Potter. He had to be there, as they were destined to be together. However, her eyes first came across a rather round boy, picking his nose. Her smile faded as she definitely didn't like seeing that.

The male teacher glanced around the class room, then his eyes settled upon a particular student.. "Chambers... why don't you go and sit behind Potter?"

Clinching her lips tightly, she walked over to where his hand indicated. The boy, with his black hair and glasses didn't bother to look up, which Diana found disappointing. However, she went and took her seat. She opened her mouth to say something to him, however, it came out as a stutter that simply couldn't complete herself.

Her mouth snapped open and a girl leaned over and whispered to her. "I pity you."

"Why's that?" Diana asked, confusion in her voice.

"New girl, you're stuck behind Potter. Nobody likes him," the girl stated firmly.

"I don't understand. Why wouldn't anyone like him?" Diana bubbled out. She glanced at Harry, who simply didn't speak up for himself.

"Because," the girl stated firmly. "Everyone knows that if you try to be his friend, his cousin will beat you up. Plus, his aunt says that he has problems."

The blond haired girl tried to speak up and say something, but then stopped. She thought to herself. "Wait until you can put your plan into work. You aren't meant to get to know him until then."

~H-P~

May passed into June, with Diana becoming more frustrated with the fact that time was not passing as fast as she wanted it too. She sat up in her room, writing in her journal, scribbling things down, then scratching them completely out. One one side, she was excited that the date was becoming closer, and she could finally activate her plan.

On the other hand, she was depressed at the fact that she could be with her Harry Potter. She couldn't speak to him at school, due to her mouth clamming up, and the fact that Dudley was in fact likely to bully even a girl. She also rarely saw him outside of school, as his aunt kept him out of public eye whenever she could.

Of course, Diana missed some of the talk that adults were beginning to have around her. For example, the fact that they noticed that the Chambers girl happened to take what everyone considered an unhealthy incident liking to the nephew of the Dudley family. Petunia was rather upfront with people that Harry wasn't exactly all there.

Diana didn't know this, or more of... she didn't understand this. She had read her book, and it told her that Harry was a rather amazing person. Amazing people simply don't have people make biased opinions against them. Of course, that simply only happened in a perfect world. In the real world, people may not always truly understand someone.

She sat in the front yard of her house scribbling in her journal. She had a blanket spread out so she could enjoy the nice weather. This was also so she could be ready for when that particular day came. She used her colored pen to write out her crush thoughts. As she was doing this, she heard a commotion from next door.

Pausing, she stopped to listen. A smile spread on her face when she heard that the next door neighbors were leaving for the zoo. That meant that today was in fact Dudley's birthday. That meant that her day for her plan was even closer. However, as they pulled out of the drive way, she couldn't help but feel a little bit of a wishful thinking.

She wanted to go with them, to the zoo. She wanted to be part of Harry's adventure, all the way through. However, she paused. "It is better that I wait for the day, like I planned. I will be able to spend time with him at Hogwarts everyday after that." She then smiled, and then went back to her journal, scribbling more gushing nothings into her journal.

~H-P~

After that day, she began to watch the Dursley place carefully, watching for that one thing that would indicate that it was time to move her plan into action. She also watched around her own house. Her mother raised her eyebrows, a tad bit confused about why her daughter was suddenly acting strange. Then, out of the sky, she saw it come.

It was a beautiful looking owl, and as soon as she saw it, she hurried forward to go after it. The owl, which carried an object in its claws, suddenly startled, dropping the object that it happened to be carrying. Diana hurried forward and picked up the letter. A grin spread on her face, as she recognized the words written on the letter.

Diana took a deep breath, "It's his letter to Hogwarts." She held the letter to her chest. She glanced around though, a little bit perturbed. She was quite sure that her letter should have also been delivered. She bit her lip, glancing around for a second owl, one flying particularly to her place. However, she saw none.

"It has to be because mine will be delivered later." She then began to head up the side walk. "I need to do this now, before more owls with his other letters begin to show up. I can wait for mine to come. I'll knock on the door, hand him the letter, and then he'll be very happy. Also, he'll look in my eyes and fall instantly in love with me."

However, someone suddenly tapped her from behind. "Excuse me miss."

The girl suddenly blinked, turning around. "Um... hello, who are you?"

"I'm Bode of the Ministry of Magic," the man stated, tipping his hat politely.

"Ahh! Then you are here to deliver my letter so I can go to Hogwarts?" the girl smiled.

"No. You won't be going to Hogwarts young lady," the man stated firmly.

"But, I am... I have magical ability," Diana was a bit perturbed.

"Actually, you don't," the man stated.

"Are you telling me I'm a Muggle?" the girl suddenly closed her mouth shut, her face twisting in anger. "Don't lie to me about this."

"Sorry miss, but you are in fact a Muggle," the man stated. He raised his wand, then muttered a spell. The girl blinked a couple of times, and he then carefully guided the girl so she was heading back towards her own house. Passing her by, on the way out of the house, was a female. "Did you get what you needed Croaker?"

"The journal and the book?" the female stated firmly. "I got both. I don't know who keeps dropping the books, but we have enough alternative universes without one like this."

"I know, I know," the man sighed. "Or the ones who simply drop in from another world. The whole thing is crazy. Eleven to twelve year old kids aren't old enough to date!"

"Yes... but eleven to twelve year old girls are old enough to crush on boys," the female gave a weak smile. "How many more of these do we have to take care of?"

"To many... but then... it is our job. Good thing few people in the Wizarding World know about this..."

~H-P~

News soon spread through the neighborhood. Diana had walked into the house, completely confused, and had asked her mother why they no longer lived in their old house. The woman freaked out, and had Mr.. Chambers come home early from work to take their daughter to the hospital. No injury was found, but their daughter definitely had a form of amnesia.

Despite the fact that her parents said that the doctors said there was no injury, there was speculation from some that the doctors didn't do their job right, and that it was a case of TBI. Nobody suddenly forgets a month or two of memories for no reason at all. Thus speculation went around as to who happened to have caused the injury.

However, after the Dursley family gave news of where their nephew was now going to school, many figured it to be him. Some thought it might have been Dudley too, simply because the boy didn't know his own strength, or that was what Petunia insisted on. A few families felt the Dursley family was actually rather shady.

After time, it simply died down. Perhaps though, that was for the best.

Author's note - Diana, the Sue, found one of Harry's letters and gave it to him, only to have Harry fall instantly in love.

Here are the things one can learn from this Mary Sue.
I personally would avoid titles that include that your character is a certain person's love interest, that tends to be a high indicator you have a Mary Sue. As is the OC having an owl just like Harry's. On the end note, Diana shouldn't have been able to find one of Harry's letters easily. I mean, the only people who would have been mailing him letters, would be by Wizarding post