1Disclaimer: Don't own it. Just borrowing the characters a bit for my own entertainment.
Hesitation: A Max Story
The first time they had kissed it had been sweet, but awkward. Max had found herself a bit drunk after a night of celebrating becoming top squad. They had started the night with all four of them, laughing and drinking the night away. They lost Dominique early to a tall well-sculpted Hispanic boy driving an expensive looking sports car. She waved goodbye, telling them she would see them in the morning. They were used to it. Janet called it quits as soon as they had gotten back home, apparently it was past her bed time as she had spent most of the night yawning and nursing her one cherry vodka sour. Somehow she still managed to trip on her way up the stairs. Max had never met more of a light weight.
Then it was just the two of them in the common room, Amy lounging lazily on the couch, her legs stretched across Max's lap, as she giggled and re-counted something funny that happened to her on the way to the bathroom. Brewer watched the other girl through heavy lidded eyes.
"-and then the tall guy put his hands up the girl's skirt and jumped back screaming 'man! Man!' I was like 'duuuuh', even after those shots I could tell that he-"
Max never did find out what Amy could tell even after all those tequila shots. Unexpectedly, even to herself, she had closed the distance between them in one swift move, her dark full lips grazing Amy's pale pink ones.
Even in her clouded state of mind she half expected Amy to pull away, disgusted. In her head she was already thinking up excuses to say to her after she was rejected, arguments that she was just drunk and she didn't mean it. But she had meant it, and apparently the other either didn't mind, or was too drunk to care, because she returned the kiss full heartedly, her hands gripping the back of Max's skull, her slim fingers tangling themselves in dark locks. The squad captain couldn't help stifle a moan as she depend the kiss, her hands running along Amy's sides, gripping at the sheer fabric of her 'going-out' dress.
They didn't remember when they had stopped kissing and when they had accidently fallen asleep.
"Girls, you have 10 minutes to be out of here, meet me at the café! Let's go, go go!" Mr. P's voice shouted over the intercom, causing both girls to awaken with a start, Amy jumping up and causing Max to roll off the couch and fall onto the floor with a hard thud.
"Oh! So sorry, Max!" The blonde exclaimed, cheeks flaring a deep red as she helped her fellow D.E.B. off the floor and back onto the couch.
Max smiled at her nervously as the previous nights events flashed through her mind. Amy smiled at her expectantly, looking completely adorable. She would have liked nothing better than to kiss her again, but instead she sighed, forcing her face into a hard look.
"Amy, about last night…"
The blonde's face took on an entirely new shade of crimson as she struggled to maintain eye contact with her friend.
"I, we, were drunk. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry…"
"I didn't mind! It's not like you were taking advantage of me or anything, honest. I- I'd wanted to do that for a while now…"
Inwardly, Max could feel her heart soaring at the words, so happy that the other felt the same way. Outwardly, she struggled to keep her face blank.
"Amy, I mean, it was nice but it's not the kind of thing we should make a habit of. I mean, you just started dating Bobby and-"
"But I don't even like Bobby, I could break up with him, I mean your single and-"
The squad captain sighed, trying to choose her next words to her first carefully.
"Amy, look, you're my best friend, and I only want what's best for you. And this isn't it, okay? Stay with Bobby, please! Now I have to go get ready, I'll meet you downstairs in five, okay?"
The perfect score nodded solemnly, rising from her seat and making her way to her bedroom.
Max felt pained, but knew it was the right thing to do, for both their sakes.
Three months had passed before she found herself in Amy's bed for the first time. They had been studying for an important test in their Criminal Profiling class. Max had been arguing with Amy about the validity of one of her answers when suddenly she felt the blonde's lips on her own.
She froze, her thoughts racing. She had no excuse this time, no alcohol induce idiocy to blame it on. But Amy's lips felt so incredibly soft on her own, and her mouth tasted sweet from the vegan ice cream she had snacked on earlier. She closed her eyes and eagerly responded, deepening the kiss as her hand's explored the blonde's fit body, finger's playing with the hem of her short plaid skirt. Amy shyly reached for her own blouse; inexperienced finger's stumbling to undo the buttons, needing more skin. Max was all too willing to comply.
That night, as Amy finally lay asleep in her arms, her chest rising and lowering slowly with each breath. As the blonde snuggled closer, a slight smile gracing her pale lips, Max felt a terrible pang in her chest.
She was in love.
She was in love with Amy Bradshaw, 'The Perfect Score'. So in love that her chest felt constricted, as if she could barely contain the feeling swelling painfully in her heart.
Max smiled sadly at the other girl, kissing her softly on her forehead before gathering her clothes and returning to her room.
"Good morning…" Amy smiled shyly as she stood in Max's doorway, clad in only her pale blue house robe, looking completely stunning.
"Hey" Max smiled weakly, motioning her to come into the room. Amy complied, closing the door behind her as she made her way towards the bed. She leaned her face close to Max's, drawing her lips as if she meant to kiss her. The other girl jumped back as if bitten, much to Amy's dismay.
"Sorry, I just thought that, well, after last night… that maybe you wanted to, er, be together?"
"Amy, I'm sorry but I just can't. We can't do this, it's not that I don't want to, I just…"
"Well, what if we kept it a secret…"
Max sighed, considering the thought, and then shook her head.
"We live in a house full of spies, Bradshaw, someone will find out eventually. I'm sorry."
Amy nodded morosely before leaving an even more depressed Max Brewer alone in her room.
It was the end of the year, only a little over a month before End Game, and they were having the same conversation again, now in the form of an argument.
"If you don't want to be with me then why do we keep doing this!" Amy screamed; cause Max to grab her arm, trying to shut her up.
"Amy, someone's going to hear you. Let's just sit down and talk about this like adults." She urged, forcing her voice to stay low.
"I just don't get it. I like you, a lot, Max. Obviously you like me, more than a best friend, since this keeps happening! I just don't get why we can't just date, it's not like it would be THAT big of a deal if you acknowledged your feelings in public enough to hold my hand."
"Look, you don't understand. You're just naive. But it would be a big deal! Can't you just accept the fact that no matter how many times we have this conversation, my answers always going to be the same?"
Amy stared at her, blinking away the tears. She looked angry, angry than the other had ever seen her. At the same time she looked strong, resolute. Max knew it wasn't going to end well.
"Fine. Then I'll do something different this time. I'll say no. No more of these secret little dirty liaisons. No more secrets. Next time I say you're JUST my best friend I can actually mean it."
Max wanted to beg her, she wanted to just confess her love for her and hold her close like some cheesy romance movie. But she didn't. She simply nodded dumbly as she watched the girl she had grown to love stomp angrily out of her room.
That was the last time they had that conversation.
"I broke up with Bobby!" Amy yelled over the loud thumping of their car radio's music.
"I said, I broke up with Bobby!" She repeated.
"Why?" Janet asked, dumbly. Max knew the answer but just kept driving, trying to push the painful memories out of her head.
"I want to be in love!" She replied, eyeing the darker girl sadly.
That was the day that changed everything, the first time they set eyes on Lucy Diamond.
When Amy went missing her world was turned upside down completely.
The girl Max loved had been taken away by the most notorious criminal in the country! She didn't even know if she was alive.
Max was suddenly filled with regret that her own cowardice had made me hurt the girl she loved so dearly. She felt sick at the thought at how weak she'd been. She had to find her. She had to rescue her and set things right.
Every lead she followed, every time she wanted to collapse and just cry, she imagened the day she would find her. Max would rescue her and Amy would smile and run to her, and she'd kiss her in front of everyone. That one thought comforted her throughout the entire horrible ordeal.
Too bad that wasn't exactly how it all went down.
Finding Amy in that bed, with that woman... the thought of it still makes my blood boil!
When she came home and assured us all that she was never going to see Lucy again I felt relived, but deep down didn't believe it. I saw the hurt in her eyes at the mear mention of the criminal's name. Still, as much as I could tell she loved her, I couldn't let her go.
That night I snuck into her room, like I used to, and tried to wake her up with a kiss. She smiled, causing my heart to do happy flip flops in my chest.
"Lucy…" she whispered, rolling over to her side, still asleep.
I hung my head in defeat and left the room.
I knew I had already lost, I'm not stupid.
I knew it before Amy had botched up her speech and ran off to find Diamond. Hell, I knew I had lost her months ago, due to my own cowerdice. The one thing I wasn't sure of was if I could let her go.
Amy, my first love, clung to Lucy like a life line as she tried to talk me out of doing something stupid.. Honestly, I had half the mind to shoot the bitch where she stood.
Surprising everyone, including myself, I let her go.
"If you hurt her I will hunt you down." I growled, meaning every word, as I watched Amy shoot me one final thankful smile and run off with her now reformed criminal.
So I had lost her. I could've been that one renting sailboats to tourist, or whatever idiotic idea Lucy had to do while Amy attended art school. Whatever, I'd get over it.
Running my fingers through Dominique's light brown hair, I smile to myself as I cuddle closer to my new lover. Hey, she wasn't the perfect score, but it was a start.