It had been silent for hours. Room service knocked a couple of times but went away unattended to. Mitchie's movements were slow as her fingers gently moved along the outline of Shanes strong jaw, her soft fingers brushing against his light stubble. She watched his chest raise and fall like she had been doing for a couple of hours. She slept but only for a while before waking again, but she didn't mind. Her finger gently pressed against the circular bruise on his nose that had left a permanent mark on his pale skin when Jason had once hit him accidentally with a baseball a couple of years prior. Mitchie giggled lightly at the memory and brought her face near the nook of Shane's neck, not touching the skin, but feeling the heat radiating from his body. She closed her eyes, liking the warmth and Shane stirred beside her.
Mitchie's eyes shot open as the car jerked from a pothole and she looked around her surroundings with her heavy eyelids, the mexican sun not helping the headache she could feel forming from the abrupt end to her precious sleep. "Wh-where are we?" she licked her lips, swallowing the saliva down her dry throat.
"You were sleeping with your mouth open" Nate laughed while Mitchie rolled her eyes at him. "We still have more than an hour till we get to the hotel. The traffic today is crazy." Mitchie nodded at Nate, immediately closing her eyes again to get more sleep, but the only thing she seemed to get was another headache. "Are you okay?" Nate asked as Mitchie reached into her hand bag for a Parecetamol and snatched the water bottle that lay on Nates lap. She nodded, swallowing the liquid and when she looked around the large SUV they were all travelling together in, she found Shane's eyes trained on her. Mitchie ignored the stare feeling slightly uncomfortable and turned her gaze outside the window.
They were near the hotel when Mitchie felt her headache subduing and she looked down at her own lap noticing the tan line on her naked ring finger. She sighed staring at the line of paler skin where he ring used to be and she realized how stupid she had been to hold onto it for so long.
"And guys, remember" Shanes father spoke to the group "we're meeting here, on this spot" he pointed to the ground while looking at his watch. "In two hours. Jason, Danielle, Shane, Nate and Mitchie you must all be with your groups at all times, never should either one of you be alone. We dont need a messy situation here where we'll have to call security to get you guys away from any fans and if any fans do approach you, sign whatever they have for you to sign, is that clear?" Everyone mumbled a response in the positve as if they already didnt know what to do. Who knew going on a little shopping trip in a little market in Mexico would require so many instructions. It was their first day in Mexico and only night off they would get till they got to Brazil and everyone decided a little sight seeing and shopping would be of any harm and would be far better than staying within the walls of their hotel the night.
"Don't you want to buy anything, I hear the dresses here are really nice." Danielle asked as she went through a rack of summer dresses.
"Nah, I'm just hungry," Mitchie looked around the store aimlessly before looking down at her watch. Two more hours till everyone was to have dinner, damn.
"Blue looks good on you though," Danielle stated holding up a baby blue and tourquise shaded cotton dress to which Mitchie paid no attention to. Her eyes were trained outside the glass windows of the store where Shane stood a couple fo feet away looking around aimlessly with his phone in his hand. "I like the shorter verion of that one," Dana expressed holding up indeed a shorter version of the dress Danielle was talking about. "that looks even better, try this Mitchie," she shoved the dress into Mitchies chest ushering her away into the changing rooms. Mitchie tore her eyes away from the window and mumbled something Danielle and Dana could not understand as she got into one of the changing rooms
"Here, happy? It doesn't even fit me," she wined before she could even get into full view of the two girls after leaving the changing room. She stopped on her tracks though when she noticed Shane biting his nails, looking around the womans colthing store aimlessly. He also stopped his movements as his eyes landed on hers. Mitchie tugged onto the end of her short dress, an uncomfortable feeling settling through her almost making her blush as Shane watched her. "Well, the shorter the better," Dana announced. "And the dress looks good on you," Danielle added, turning to Shane for his opinion, almost forgetting who he was to Mitchie. "Doesn't it look good on her, Shane?"
Mitchie hated the feeling. She felt like she was looking forward to his answer, she was almost anticipating it. "You're beautiful," the words left his mouth as if it were as simple as him saying here, you can take my last piece of candy. Mitchie turned around before Shane or the others could see her blushing wildly and stepped back into the changing room without a word. She could hear high pitched voices coming from the little group she had just left. When she returned, back in her old clothes, she realized the source of those voices. Two girls who wouldnt be more than 16 were wildly blushing just like Mitchie had been a minute ago and were exclaiming words in hapiness that made thier voices go a couple of octaves higher. The girls were talking a picture with Shane and Danielle when one of them noticed Mitchie "Oh my god, Mitchie Torres!" one of them pointed. They looked like they were about to have a seziure as their faces moved from Shanes to Mitchies and then back to Shanes again. "Oh my god, Oh my god," they both chanted at the same time.
Mitchie smiled softly, waving to the girls and walking to them were they stood near the rack she had been minutes ago. "Hi," she greeted. "Oh my god, hi Mitchie! my-my name's Ally and this is my friend Jamie, we're huge fans!" the girl gushed. "Thank you." Mitchie smiled. "Our friend will never believe this!" The other girl exclaimed causing Danielle and Dana to chuckle, Shane and Mitchie were already used to these exact same words. "We-we listen to your music everyday! I love you!" Ally spoke again, this time directed towards both Mitchie and Shane.
"Well, that means a lot to us." Shane explained. "Would you like us to sign anything?" he offered.
"Oh my god, yes please!" Jamie digged through her purse, "I can't believe this, my friends will not believe me," she said as she opened up the scrunced up reciept in her purse, the only peice of paper she could find.
"Are you guys coming to the concert tomorrow?" Shane made small talk as he signed the paper and passed it onto Mitchie.
"We have front row-center seats to tomorrows concert, we're so excited. I can't believe we're meeting you guys, this is unbelieveable!" Mitchie chuckled lightly at their enthusiasm and handed them the wrinkled paper. "Well, we're glad you guys could make it. We're looking forward to seeing you at tomrrows concert," she said politely.
"Thanks," they blushed. "Can we take a picture with you and Shane?"
The girls gathered around their idols, each standing on either side of them, squeezing Shane and Mitchie painfully close together so that it was possible for all four of them to get into the picture Dana had been asked to take from one of the girls phones. "Smile," Dana announced as she clicked the picture.
"Are you guys back together?" Ally asked just as she and her friend walked towards the exit to the store. Mitchie and Shane both turned at the question directed to them. "Huh, er..." Mitchie replied uncomfortably. It was still uncomfortable for her - relationship questions, relationship feelings, just relationships in general. "No," Shane finished for her. "No we're not together," he said with a tight lipped smile.
For the next hour Mitchie tried her best to ignore Shane, not that he was doing anything to get her attention. He stood behind the girls as they shooped, obviously bored, but having no where else to go since he lost Jason and Nate and had no idea where they went leaving him. But Mitchies eyes would dart towards him every now and then. She'd watch him from the corner of her eye, or tilt her head a little pretending to admire the fabric in her hand while she looked at him. Mitchie felt dissapointed when Shane had to leave, she liked his presence, but would never admit it.
Mitchie liked the feeling of acceptance from Nate, Jason and his wife, it made her feel wanted and much more appreciative of being a part of the tour. She felt exhausted from all the travelling she had done that day and fell asleep in the SUV on the way back to the hotel after dinner. "Mitchie, wake up we're at the hotel," Mitchie muttered something in her sleep before moving around a little and opening her eyes. "We're at the hotel. Everyone's already in their rooms. It took me forever to wake you," Shane chuckled from the seat in front of Mitchie.
"Oh," Mitchie said, slightly dazed. "You didnt have to wake me, Dana or someone could-"
"It doesn't matter. Eveyone is really tired anyway." He replied.
"Oh, I uh, then thanks," She gatherd her bags from the dark SUV, the only light came from the brightly lit hotel the car was parked in front.
"Here, give those to me," Shane offered, taking the shopping bags from Mitchies hand before she could protest. "We need to get inside quickly though, fans are still waiting outside the front entrance."
The walk to Mitchies room was silent and Shane only lingered at the doorstep to give back her bags. She wanted him to tell her goodnight, but he left in a silence that Mitchie couldn't attempt to break. She was exhausted and fell asleep in a corner of her enormous queen sized bed after showering, but woke up only a couple of hours later, just past midnight. Apparently she wasnt as exhausted as she thought she was, or the thoughts lingering in her mind wouldnt allow her to sleep. Her brain wouldnt shut.
She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and she messaged Shane before her brain could formulize what she was doing.
Time: 12:37 am
Are you awake?
She stared at the screen for a whole five minutes, not being able to believe what she had done. She could hear her heart beating against her ribcage and her whole body suddenly felt hot from perspiration at the light sound of knocking at her door. Her breating fastened and she looked around the dark room, for a moment deciding whether she should open it or not. She knew who it was and in her mind she knew exactly what she was doing.
He was wearing his light blue pajama pants and a white wife-beater when she opened the door. His dark short hair was a mass of mess poking out from places from rolling around in bed. She felt guilty knowing she had woken him up. Everyone wasn't like her with sleepless nights and lonely days.
"I can't just, I can't just leave this tour Shane! I am the headlining act." Mitchie stated as if it wasnt already obvious. Shane shook his head, he knew this would happen, but hoped he wouldn't have to go through it again.
"I don't believe this," he yelled, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You were the one who locked yourself in your hotel room for days. You wouldnt talk to anybody, you wouldnt eat. I had to come all the way from Los Angeles to Europe, Mitchie. You can't do this, you have to leave!"
"I don't have to do anything!"
"You are being a real stubborn bitch now Mitchie!"
"Really, Shane? Really?" She asked, appalled crossing her arms across her chest. "I'm not being anything, I'm just doing my job!"
"You don't have to fucking work, Mitchie. You don't have to do any of that, not now. Can't you see what it's doing to you?" He asked his eyes and voice softening. "You're becoming someone else. I don't know who you are anymore. Why don't you try and understand that this-" he poined around the room, "This isnt good for you."
"I'm still myself Shane. It's you who doesn't want to understand, you just don't get it. This-" she cried out helplessly, "This is my escape. I don't want to go back there anymore. I don't want to remember any of it."
"Mitchie," Shane engulfed her in a loving hug. "We don't have to go back there. We can go somewhere far away. Somewhere where it's just you and me, just us, baby."
Mitchie shook her head in his chest, wiping away her tears with his shirt. "We can go away." He reasoned. "For a month, three months, six months, a year, anything you-"
"I don't-" She breathed out heavily. "I don't want to be with you. You remind me of what happened. Your face, everytime I see it Shane, it reminds me of what I lost and what I can't have back again. It reminds me of the pain and the tears, of the feeling of helplessness. I love you but I can't be around you right now."
The words Mitchie thre at him, never processed in his brain, he didnt want to believe what she was saying or what was happening. She didn't understand how much those words had hurt him more than the actual incident itself. He shook his head in denial and just stood there waitng for her to say something else.
"Shane, please say something." MItchie begged.
"Why are you doing this to me?" He let go of her, turning around, refusing to show her the tears in his eyes because of her. "Why?" he coked.
"Because I'm in so much pain-"
"So you want the whole world to suffer with you? You want everyone to hurt just because you're hurt?" He demanded, his voice, his body, everything radiating anger again.
"I can't do this anymore." Shane cut her off. "I can't deal with you right now. I'm leaving," he said, suddenly gathering his things. "Come back home when you're ready. I'm not going to come and get you again."
He left with Mitchie staring at the door, the feeling of guilt weighning down on her more than any other feeling in the world.
Mitchie stepped back, allowing him space to enter her room and closed the door quietly behind him. "Is everything alright?" He asked. "You-uh, you messaged me," He said unsurely, looking back at his phone to make sure he hadnt been dreaming things.
"Yeah," Mitchie nodded. "Can we just, can we talk? I couldn't sleep," She sat down on the edge of her bed, tapping her hand on the seat beside her. Shane took her movements as an invitation and slowly sat next to her. "What do you wanna- what's up?" Shanes groggy voice asked unsurely. Mitchie bit her bottom lip, her hands in her lap. His voice so near her sent shivers down her spine. She missed waking up to that voice.
"Nate told me you went to ."
Shane was silent for a moment, thinking of his answer before speaking. "Eleven months now." He let her know.
She nodded, drawing circles on her bare leg. "How do you feel?"
"I'm breathing," He shrugged. "Thats what count's right?"
"It does get better though."
"Are you still broken?" She looked up to see his striking brown eyes staring right at her. Her breath hitched and she sucked in a breath. She wanted to kiss him so badly. It was so wrong and she knew it but it was the most she had felt in the longest of time.
"You're still broken," He replied, not answering the question she asked.
"It's that obvious, huh?" Mitchie laughed shortly.
"Why are you talking to me, Mitchie?" He inquired.
"Because you're listening," She shrugged. "And because I have so much to say, the weight of it all is burdening me and I want to tell you, but I dont want to burden you," Mitchie smiled nervously, running her hand through her messy hair. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling,"
"No, it's okay," Shane spoke up, gently moving away the strand of hair that masked her face. "You're not,"
"I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did." Mitchie explained. Shane nodded in surprise, not believing that he was witnessing the day that Mitchie as apologizing. "It was all I knew how to do - to hurt the ones around me. It was all I could feel."
"You changed into this emotional wreck Mitchie. You wouldnt let anyone handle you. No one was good enough for you. You became isolated. You still are." He pointed.
Mitchie closed her eyes, the words he was saying made her feel better and worse both at the same time. "I know," She breathed out "And I apologize,"
"I havent forgotten the way you made me feel." He mumbled, sadly. "You made me feel," he breathed "you made me feel worthless Mitch."
"I'm saying sorry, Shane. Is it so hard to accept my apology?" Mitchie asked, growing frustrated.
He could see it, her defenses going up again. She was turning into the stone he knew all to well the past year.
"I accept your apology," Shane stated.
"Good," Mitchie breathed, barely able to control her body as her hand quickly moved and cupped a side of his face, pressing her lips firmly onto his. Shane's body went rigid. He wasn't expecting that and Mitchie stopped kissing him when she felt him not kiss back. She was ashamed and embarrased with herself. What was she thinking? Shane pulled her back to him as soon as she moved away and returned the kiss with just as much detremination. Mitchie moaned in surprise as she found herself falling on top of him. They never detached thier lips though as she ran her hands down this toned arms yearning for the feel of his muscles under her. She kissed the moles on his neck, each one at a time remembering now how much she missed them now more than ever before Shane pressed his lips back down to hers in a passionate kiss..
"Mitchie," Shane whispered as they parted for air.
"Don't" Her voice against his ear sent chills down his spine and any thoughts of stoping what they were getting themselves into were long forgotten by Shane. Shane took her bottom lip inbetween his and started sucking. Mitchie moaned quietly and his hands moved skillfully up from her ass to her back. She mumbled something Shane couldnt quite understand and sat up from her position and straddled him. "I missed this so much," She whispered bringing her face closer to his, her hair masking them. Her hot breath against his skin sent it tingling. "I dreamt of this," She admitted, her finger moving agaonizingly slowly against his jaw-line before she splattered kisses across his jaw. She rubbed her nose against his cheek, inhaling the scent of his musky lotion. The scent took her back home, their home. She closed her eyes and cherrished the feeling. Mitchies soft lips moved to kiss his earlobe causing him to hiss in pleasure.
He feverishly pushed her onto her back, hovering over her and attached his lips to her neck. Mitchie arched her body forward at the amazing feeling of his stubble against her soft skin and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Mitchie," He spoke, his eyes holding hers. "You're a mess, I'm a mess too." He breathed heavily onto her skin, regretting every word but wanting it as much as she did. "We shouldn't-" His words were cut off by Mitchies lips pressing desperately againt his. "I don't care Shane," She fisted her fingers into his short curles making him hiss. Shane roughly pushed her against the matress, tearing her tanktop in the process of pulling it over her head and Mitchie giggled. "You don't know what you did to me," Shane pressed his lips against her ear, making Mitchie squirm in pleasure, the feeling going all the way to her toes. "In that dress today," His large hands went to her bare sides, rubbing them gently. "Every single fucking day,"
Mitchie moaned his name and pulled his shirt off of him relishing the feeling of their bare skin against each other. She was afraid to breathe. She didnt want to miss a second of being close to him in a night she knew would never happen again.
Being away from him was harder than she had ever imagined. The tour continued from city to city and country to country but Mitchie never knew where she was. She knew she had ruined the best thing in her life. The guilt and hatred towards herself wouldnt let her see herself in the eye in the mirror. She wanted to feel better but everyday she was sinking deeper into a dark hole. She started smoking, even considered alcohol to make her better, but she knew it would make her an even more of a dissapointment. Shane never called, but she knew he kept tabs on her and her pride kept her from calling him. He was always the one to give up and apologise in a fight, not her then why should it be different this time?
Mitchie knew she had the greatest hand in ruining her own relationship, but it wasnt over. She didnt even know when Shane birthday came and went and when she did she demanded to get onto the first flight to LA. She couldnt call him, not after what she had done. He deserved more than that. She needed to see him and she needed to see him soon.
When she stepped back into the house she shared with Shane, she knew she was insane to have left it all to be on tour with no one she loved, millions of miles away. The smell of her house broke a smile across her face and she pulled her luggage into the drawing room, looking around searching for Shane. She called his name but got no answer and sigured he was out. She hadnt informed him about her visit. She was supposed to be on tour not in Los Angeles.
She walked upstairs and through the large hallway to her bedroom. She walked into her bedroom, everything was as she remembered and stood there. Something wasnt right. Her instincts were in panic mode before anything even happened and she knew something she didnt want to happen was happening. The guest room door was slightly ajar and squeaked when she opened it a little further. The blood from her face drained and her heart beat picked up. She and Franchesca looked up with shocked expressions and Franchesca jumped from under him covering her naked body with one of the bed sheets. Her bed sheets. Shane's expression changed from shock to shame as the blood returned to Mitchies face.
"You asshole, Shane. You fucking asshole." Her eyes clouded with tears and she forgot how to breathe.
"Mitchie please-" She slapped him across his face when he stepped forward to stop her from leaving, his already pink cheeks turning red.
"You you you..." She couldnt even speak. She couldnt believe this was happening to her. "Never show me your fucking face again Shane,"
Mitchie woke up the next morning to an empty bed feeling distraught, but it wasnt like she was expecting anything else. She dragged herself out of bed and did her normal morning routine of getting ready for the next day. Every time she looked in the mirror it was like her body was screaming at her, reminding her of the night before. It was too early for so much hassle she thought as she walked into the lobby of the hotel they were all staying at when she saw an enormous crowd of people gathered around the grand hall. They were fans no doubt, but Mitchie couldnt remember having been told about any sort of event happening at the hotel.
"Dana!" She called when she saw her friend leaving the hotel resturant, Mitchies stomach rumbing in hunger. Dana walked towards the wall Mitchie was hiding behind in amusement. Mitchie wasnt in the mood of yelling and screaming as soon as she woke up. "Whoa, who got hold of you last night?" Dana smirked as she stood in front of Mitchie.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Mitchie asked, confused.
"Did you see yourself in the mirror in the morning?" Dana asked, examining Mitchies neck. "Looks like you were attacked by a roccoon."
Mitchie blushed wildly, dropping her gaze. "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, what's going on here?"
"Oh," Dana shrugged. "Miss-I-Like-To-Be-Attached-To-My-Boyfriends-Hip arrived this morning. Shane threw some surprise meet and greet for her fans for her or something,"
Of course Shane would. That sinking feeling returned again.
Hello my lovelies :P
Okay I know you guys probably hate me for being the worst updater in the whole world and I'm sorry, but guess what? My exams finished last week wohoooooo :D so I should be able to update more frequently now...how about that?
Anyway, back to this chapter...things didnt go exactly how I planned, but I like which road this is heading...kind of *insert evil grin* haha
So yes, they had sex and no they are not togther, not yet...you know how much I love franchesca...just had to throw her in there at the end.
I know how I'm gonna end this story, not saying the end is close yet but I just know how I'm gonna end it and i still have a couple of different ways the story can go from here, lets see which I choose :P
I hope you guys enjoyed this because I sincirely missed writing for you guys and your reviews. Gosh, your reviews light up my day. I swear I smile wildly and do the happy dance everytime I get one. Hope eveyone reading reviews.
I love you all and would def love to read some theories about what you think will happen and about what you guys think about what happened now and in the flash back :P
PLEASE REVIEW! IT TRUELY MEANS A LOT 3
P.S forgive my spelling mistakes. Spell check on fanfiction isnt working.