Let the Guilt Go

Summary: Joseph/Evelyn. After giving into their desires, Joseph is feeling guilty for being with another woman so soon after Shannon's death but can Evelyn help him through it? One shot.

For Abi (gayfortinafey) 'cause she asked nicely and I didn't write her a birthday fic!

First attempt at Caprica fanfic, any canon mistakes are mine.

He held her hips tightly in his grip as he pounded into her tight heat, his head pressed against her chest as he let the feelings wash over him like a wave; feelings that Joseph had not experienced in a long time now. All he was aware of was the needs of his body, and of Evelyn's. For once he was not plagued with the agony and grief of losing his wife and daughter, and trying to make sure William grew up as normally as possible under the circumstances. Instead, he could focus on something familiar, something that felt good; so good. Why he had he not thought of this before; this sweet escape? Clearly, Evelyn had wanted this too, whatever 'this' was. But, as he came back down from the high of his climax, the guilt set in with an alarming force. What had he been thinking? What about Shannon?

She didn't mind that he cried out his dead wife's name when he came, exploding inside of her. Nor did she mind when he pushed out of her and away from her almost before she'd finished her own orgasm. She knew that he must be going through hell, his seemingly perfect family literally blown to pieces. She couldn't expect him to give her what she wanted from a relationship but she was prepared to wait for Joseph; for him to be ready.

Evelyn watched as Joseph, still half undressed walked away into his bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him. She sighed, straightening her own dishevelled clothes and flattening her hair back into place. She went into the kitchen to potter around but really there was nothing to do. With Ruth occupying Willy for the evening and Sam Gods only knew where, there was really very little for Evelyn to do. Part of her wondered why exactly Ruth had persuaded her to initiate a physical relationship with Joseph, after all it was Ruth's own daughter that had been killed in the bombing. Evelyn's position within the family was important though and she wanted Joseph to see that she was not going anywhere and that maybe, in time, he could learn to love her the way she had loved him for so long.

Evelyn turned around at the sound of a door opening and saw Joseph, now fully clothed but with his shirt open at the neck, walking towards her. The expression is his eyes was difficult to pinpoint but Evelyn was sure that, whatever he was going to say, he wasn't going to ask her to leave. He motioned to the couch and they both sat down, trying to think about something other than what had happened the last time they had sat there together only minutes earlier.

"Shannon," Was all he said.

Evelyn took his hand. "I know."

"I still love her, I always will." He continued, looking down at where his and Evelyn's hands were entwined on his lap.

"I know." She repeated. "Of course you do. I don't want to replace her; I just want to help you get through this."

He smiled and it felt like such a foreign gesture, something he hadn't cause to do in so long even though he had tried his hardest for Willy's sake.

Evelyn seized the moment and leaned in, kissing him again. She knew that they had plenty of time and were unlikely to be interrupted. Joseph pulled away just seconds into the kiss and Evelyn couldn't ignore the sting of rejection until he pulled her up with their joined hands, leading her towards his bedroom.

Joseph would have been lying if he'd said that he didn't have some reservations about making love with Evelyn in the bed he had once shared with his wife; the mother of his children but this felt right and he trusted her. It would be a long time before he was able to let Shannon go but with Evelyn he thought that maybe someday he could move on and love again.