Ianto set Rhiannon's mug down carefully and waved her back into her seat. "I've got it, it's fine," he assured her. "Milk and one sugar, right?"
"Like you need to ask," she scoffed, still watching his broken wrist as if she expected his hand to drop off, or something equally dire. "Are you going to tell me what you were doing to injure yourself this time?"
He sighed and collected his own coffee, returning to the sofa to sit down with it and tuck his leg under himself to face her. "I fell downstairs."
"I did!" he protested. Okay, so he'd been pushed by an alien trying to get him away from her babies, but she hadn't meant any harm, and she'd been very apologetic once they got the translation feed working and Gwen had managed to calm her down, and Jack's face when he came thundering down the stairs had been worth it. He took another sip of his coffee and smiled. "It's not even that bad, I've just been told to take a day off work to rest it."
"Every time I see you, you've got some new injury," she said darkly.
He looked away guiltily. It was true, he only got to see her on his injury days, because his rare official days off were spent with Jack. They did sometimes go to see Rhiannon or his mam, but mostly they grabbed the day and spent it doing the things they never got to do normally. "I appear to have developed a clumsy streak," he said at last.
"That's what Karen said..."
It took Ianto a moment to remember which of Rhiannon's many friends Karen was, so he had a mouth full of coffee when he twigged. Rhiannon got up to pat his back ineffectually whilst he choked. "Rhi... no," he said firmly, rubbing his chest. "No, it's not Jack."
"Are you sure?" she looked sceptical but relieved. "I don't want to think that... Look, Ianto," she cut across his attempts to insist further, "I like Jack, you know I do. And I know he's... I'm not stupid, I can tell he's depressed or stressed or something. But that's no excuse, if he's taking it out on you. And I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself and get it sorted out, so I'm not saying you should leave him, either. But I don't want you to think that no one's noticed. I don't want you to think that I don't worry."
Ianto leaned back into the sofa and sighed. "Is Mam worrying too?"
"Of course she is," she assured him.
Rhiannon had taken his mug whilst he was choking, so he ran his hand through his hair. "It's not him, Rhiannon. I can't explain why it's happening so often, but Jack would never hurt me."
She sighed and nodded, settling back down more comfortably. "So it's true. You're Torchwood." He gaped at her and she smiled slightly. "After that explosion down Butetown way last week, you were just on the edge of the shot on the news. David spotted you and asked if you're bomb squad. Well, what was I supposed to say? I told him that if you were, you weren't very good at it, were you? But it set me to thinking, because you're always getting hurt, and you're always busy when something like that happens, and there's Jack in that bloody great coat... not exactly subtle, is he?"
Ianto chuckled and shook his head. "Subtlety's not part of his repertoire."
"You'll note that I'm not asking how extensive his repertoire is," Rhiannon said primly, smirking into her tea. "I hardly believe it, my baby brother's Torchwood."
He shook his head and reached out for his coffee again. "Promise me you'll keep this one quieter than you did me and Jack? Because we're not supposed to exist. Mind you, neither is Jack."
"What do you mean?"
"He's..." part alien, born in the future, immortal, been living here longer than anyone should be able to understand, "sort of classified. His identity's... it's weird."
Her eyes and mouth went round. "You mean like James Bond?"
"Except for the bit where everyone's heard of James Bond, yeah," he chuckled.
"Well," she opened and closed her mouth a few times and took a sip of her tea to stop the goldfish impression. "That'll make getting a civil partnership more difficult."
Ianto choked on coffee for the second time in the conversation.