Alright, here it is. The fic spawned by a random comment I made after seeing 2.06 (the one with Jane and the pretty horses). This is pretty much straight up fluff. But it's team!fluff. It's also straight up friendship.
Hope you enjoy the silliness.
Five Times Team Members were Accosted by Ungulates
Def'n (for my purposes): A hoofed mammal
"Anyone seen Van Pelt lately?" Lisbon asked her colleagues.
"She said she'd meet us out here after she talked to the farmer's wife. Remember boss?" Rigsby reminded her.
"Yeah, but that was like..." Lisbon glanced at her watch to confirm. "An hour ago. How long does one interview take?"
"Now Lisbon," Jane said pleasantly. "You know how thorough Van Pelt can be. Besides, didn't she grow up in a farming community herself? Maybe she's bonded with the family. That might be helpful."
"I just hope she hasn't gotten lost," Lisbon muttered. "It feels like we've been walking through fields forever. We ever gonna get there?"
"Body's just over the next hill," the local officer who was showing them to the dump site assured her.
"Van Pelt's probably just behind us," Rigsby assured his boss. "I'm sure she'll catch up."
"She probably will catch up," Jane added. "After all, I think we've been taking the longest route possible around all the fields."
"Hey!," the local officer defended himself. "I'm not sure what's in all these fields exactly. I know the owner keeps cows. Cows aren't always as calm as they look if you know what I mean."
"Plus they travel in packs," Cho said, speaking for the first time.
"Actually," Jane interjected with a grin. "I'm pretty sure the term is herds."
"Whatever," Cho said with a shrug. "What they lack in intelligence they make up for in superior numbers."
Rigsby smirked. "Then maybe we should hope that Van Pelt doesn't take any shortcuts."
Lisbon frowned briefly in worry.
Jane caught her expression. "Meh," he said with a wave of his hand. "I'm sure Grace is more than a match for a few cows. She can take care of herself. Like I said, she grew up in a farming community."
He'd barely finished speaking when the local cop interrupted again. "Um, your missing Agent, she doesn't happen to have long red hair does she?"
"Yeah," Lisbon confirmed. "Why?"
The cop gestured into one of the adjacent fields.
Lisbon turned to see Van Pelt running at top speed towards them. The team wasn't exactly sure why she was moving so quickly until a large bull rounded the corner about thirty yards behind her.
"Oh crap!" Lisbon said expressively as she reached instinctively for her gun. She heard Rigsby and Cho do the same.
"Oh come on," Jane said. "You're not going to actually shoot the bull are you?"
"I absolutely will shoot it if it gets anywhere near her!" Lisbon snapped in response.
"Of course you will," Jane muttered under his breath. "Look Lisbon, I know he's gaining on her, but I'm sure she'll make the fence in plenty of time..."
"Shut up Jane!" three voices ordered in chorus.
"Come on Van Pelt!" Lisbon yelled.
"We got you Grace!" Rigsby added.
Cho just trained his gun more accurately on the approaching bull.
The five of them watched Van Pelt run the last few yards and hop over the metal gate.
The bull continued to approach, but he slowed as he reached the gate, seeming to know the limits of his domain.
Shooting the animal a final glare, Lisbon turned to her agent. "You okay Van Pelt?" she asked in concern.
"Yeah boss," Van Pelt panted. "Just a little out of breath."
"Good. Then what the hell were you thinking cutting through a field with a bull in it?" Lisbon demanded. "You almost took ten years off my life! I thought I was gonna have to shoot the thing. Who knows how much it would have cost to replace a bull!"
"You don't want to know Boss," Van Pelt told her quickly, interrupting her mid-rant. Everyone knew it was better to stop Lisbon before she really got started. Less painful that way.
"Yeah," Lisbon agreed. "You're right, that I don't want to know. You know who else probably doesn't want to know? Hightower. Because I doubt our boss would have been pleased if the CBI had to compensate the farmer for it! What were you doing in the middle of a field with a bull anyway?"
I didn't know there was a bull in the field when I decided to cut across it," Van Pelt explained. "The farmer told me they kept cows. I'm used to cows. He didn't say anything about a bull. And I thought if I cut through a couple of the fields I'd catch up to the rest of you more quickly," she added, hoping to calm Lisbon down. After all, the boss always liked it when things were done quickly.
"Still," Lisbon muttered. "Don't do it again."
"Sure thing Boss," Van Pelt agreed. "I promise to do my best never to get chased by a mad bull again."
"It's still staring at you," Cho remarked, having never taken his eyes off the animal.
"Maybe it's the red shirt," Jane said cheerfully.
Van Pelt looked down at her sweater and groaned.
"Rigsby! Give Van Pelt your jacket," Lisbon ordered.
"Right," he said quickly. "Here you go Grace," he added, handing it to her with a smile.
"Thanks," Van Pelt said wryly as she slipped it on. The jacket came to her knees.
"Maybe you should also try to tuck as much of your hair into the back as possible," Jane suggested cheerfully.
Van Pelt sighed.
"Maybe we should just keep moving," Cho suggested. "Then hopefully it'll lose interest."
"Good idea," Lisbon agreed. "Let's go."
The six of them began walking again.
"Hey Lisbon?" Jane asked suddenly.
"What do we know about cause of death of this body?" he asked.
"We're meeting the M.E. in the field," she told him. "Why?"
He shrugged. "No reason. I was just thinking though. If our victim wasn't as good at the 200-yard dash as Grace here, then our friend Ferdinand over there is looking like a decent suspect."
Lisbon smirked. "I'll be sure to ask the M.E. to rule out both goring and trampling," she assured him dryly.
"See Grace!" Jane said cheerfully. "No need to sulk. Without you we wouldn't have arrived at that possible avenue of investigation."
"Yes," Cho agreed. "Because otherwise I'm sure we never would have thought of death by trampling."
"True," Jane admitted. "I suppose that would be rather obvious. But at least it livened up the day. And now you don't have to go to the gym tonight."
Van Pelt scowled. "Oh, shut up Jane."
Sacramento was turning into a zoo. Literally.
It was like something out of a bad movie; a train carrying a variety of zoo animals had been detained on the tracks while another one passed it. Somehow two of the cars got open and various animals got out. The only thing that prevented the situation from being a complete cliché was the fact that as far as anyone could tell, only herbivores had escaped.
Large herbivores that were now roaming the edges of the city.
So, in other words, no one was likely to be eaten, though trampling was still a definite possibility.
Cho'd heard that most of the gazelles had already been caught, along with the single hippopotamus. There were still a few things missing though. The owners assured everyone they weren't particularly harmful, though obviously any wild animal could attack when cornered.
Which was why the CBI had offered any free agents to the recovery efforts. They were basically there to help with crowd control and subduing panic in the city.
Cho'd never wished for a sudden murder investigation more.
He was sick of assuring random citizens that the authorities would prefer if they didn't drive in that direction at this time because one of the escaped animals had been cited down that street. He was even sicker of denying government cover-ups and refuting claims that instead of some sort of hoofed mammal, what was actually down the street he and Rigsby were trying to block off, was in fact a rabid tiger. Or worse.
Cho sent the latest conspiracy theorist away in relief. He was just praying that he got to go home as soon as possible.
Rigsby seemed to be enjoying himself, but Rigsby had the advantage of finding the whole thing rather funny. Cho was just bored. He wanted to do something, anything, other than stand around telling people to go away. Usually his overall demeanour was enough to keep strangers at a distance.
"Hey Cho!" Rigsby called to him suddenly.
"What?" Cho asked, turning his attention from the crowd they'd been sent to subdue.
"Look at that," his partner said, gesturing off to the right.
Cho followed his arm only to see four animal control employees, clearly out of their depth, trying to wrangle one of the escaped animals back into a cage. He almost couldn't believe his eyes.
Before he could say anything to Rigsby about it, the beast, suddenly deciding he'd had enough of the people trying to catch him, turned and charged towards the two CBI officers. Cho was torn between feeling like he should do something to help animal control catch the thing and an overwhelming desire to just get the hell out of there. Just as he was about to jump out of the way, one of the men trying to recapture the animal managed to administer a tranquilizer.
The animal stopped, blinked at Cho for a moment, then turned and allowed its pursuers to lead it into a cage.
"So that's a zebra then," he said after a moment.
"Yup," Rigsby agreed. Cho didn't need to look at him to know that he was smirking. "What do you think?"
Cho stared at the animal. "Little overrated don't you think?"
Rigsby chuckled. "Sure."
"I mean, it's basically a horse with stripes," Cho explained.
"True," Rigsby agreed. "But not many people can say that they've narrowly escaped being charged by a zebra."
"I didn't escape charging," Cho told him. "All of a sudden it decided not to charge. That's not an escape."
"Still," Rigsby teased suggestively. "Bet Elise'll be impressed."
Cho paused to consider that. "Maybe," he admitted after a moment.
"So we'd better get back to it," Rigsby added.
"Yeah," Cho said with a sigh.
"And hey," Rigsby said cheerfully. "Now you've seen a zebra."
"Whatever," Cho said with a shrug.
Rigsby shook his head in defeat.
Cho smirked. When Rigsby wasn't looking of course.
"I hope they don't have dogs," Rigsby muttered to Cho, as he knocked on the witness' door. "I hate it when they have dogs."
"I thought you liked dogs," Cho remarked casually.
"I do," Rigsby defended. "Nice dogs. Dogs I know. Large, unfriendly, snarling things I'm not so fond of."
"You really think a single woman in her mid-thirties with no criminal record that we know of is going to have a violent German Sheppard?" Cho asked, referring to the owner of the house they were currently standing outside of.
"You never know," Rigsby reminded him. "We've opened doors on some pretty strange stuff in this job."
"That's true," Cho agreed.
A second later the door opened to reveal a normal-looking woman, no dog. Rigsby pulled out his badge. "Hi there Mrs. Da Silva. We're from the California Bureau of investigation. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."
"Oh," she said in surprise. "Have I... I mean, what about exactly? Have I done anything..."
"No ma'am," Rigsby interrupted quickly. "Nothing like that. We heard you were working late two nights ago and well, someone was killed nearby around that time. We wanted to ask you if you saw anything out of the ordinary."
"Of course," the woman said immediately. "Come on in. I'm sorry; I'm just not used to having the police show up at my door."
"That's a good thing," Cho told her.
"Right," Mrs. Da Silva said awkwardly. "Won't you sit down?"
"Thank you," Rigsby replied, as he sat down in the chair she gestured towards. Cho decided to stay standing.
"So you were working late at the local grocery store two nights ago," Cho double-checked.
"I was," Mrs. Da Silva confirmed.
"Do you remember what time you left?" he asked.
"Around ten I think," she replied. "Though I couldn't be sure of the exact time. It was definitely somewhere close to ten though."
"Do you usually work that late?" Rigsby wondered.
"Often," their potential witness said with a shrug. "I am the manager after all."
Rigsby opened his mouth to ask another question when he felt something strange against his leg. "What the–!" he shouted.
"Oh, Howard's come out to play!" Mrs. Da Silva cooed. "Isn't he adorable? Don't worry; he's very friendly. Completely harmless."
"Uh..." Rigsby muttered. 'Howard' was in fact a 200 pound pot-bellied pig. And he was still sniffing around his shoe.
"Pigs are such intelligent animals," Mrs. Da Silva continued cheerfully. "So easy to train, and remarkably docile if you know how to handle them."
"Unusual pet," Cho remarked, when it became clear Rigsby wasn't going to answer.
"They're not illegal to own in this city," the owner defended quickly. "I checked."
"I'm sure that's true," Cho agreed.
"Besides," Mrs. Da Silva continued oblivious to Rigsby's discomfort. "I thought with the size of my backyard I should get a pet." She finally seemed to notice that Rigsby was shifting as far away from a still snuffling Howard as possible. "I hope he's not being too much of a nuisance," she said. "It's just the natural urge to root you know. But Howard can't dig under the chair can he snookums? No, he can't. The floorboards get in the way."
"Maybe I'll just stand," Rigsby said quickly. "Did you see anything out of the ordinary two nights ago? Maybe you glanced out the window?" To his annoyance he realized that Howard wasn't interested in rooting under the chair but around his pant leg. He gritted his teeth. "Maybe you heard something!" he exclaimed, his voice a slightly higher pitch than normal.
Cho ducked his head to conceal a grin.
"Well, now that you mention it," Mrs. Da Silva exclaimed. "I think I did hear something two nights ago."
"Could you describe it for us ma'am?" Cho asked, seeing that Rigsby was too busy trying to subtly escape Howard to ask for clarification.
"Of course," their witness agreed. "It was just about 9:30..."
Fifteen minutes later they were done. Both agents quickly declined Mrs. Da Silva's offer of tea and made their way out of the house.
"Thank you ma'am. I think we've got everything we need for now," Rigsby assured her, glancing worriedly at Howard, who was still trying to get to him from behind his owner. "But call us if you think of anything else."
"I certainly will," Mrs. Da Silva said as she shut the door. "You two have a nice day."
They walked down the driveway together. Rigsby let out a sigh of relief. He glanced at Cho, who was smirking. "Don't even start," he warned."
"Hey," Cho said almost cheerfully. "At least there wasn't a dog."
Lisbon stared at Jane then back into her office, an expression of amused disbelief on her face.
"It's a pony," she said in shock.
"Yes," Jane agreed.
"There's a pony in my office," she said in the same tone of voice.
"Yes," Jane agreed again.
"You put a pony in my office?" she asked.
"Yes," Jane agreed a third time.
"How did you even get a pony into my office?" she wondered, her brain finally catching up to the reality in front of her.
"Oh, now Lisbon, that would ruin the magic of the surprise," Jane told her indulgently.
"You really got me a pony," Lisbon said softly.
Jane shrugged his shoulders, "Technically it's a rental."
"Still, you really magicked a pony into my office," Lisbon said, a genuine grin on her face.
"Yes Lisbon," Jane agreed in a superior tone. "The animal in front of you isn't an illusion."
"Why?" she asked, turning to look at him.
"Why isn't she an illusion?" Jane asked. "Well Lisbon, I suspect that answering that question would require an in depth discussion on the nature of reality that I'm not really sure I have time to go into. Technically I suppose we could all be illusions, in which case..."
"No you idiot," Lisbon interrupted. "Why did you put a pony in my office?"
"It's your birthday present," Jane said matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything.
"A pony." Sure she'd said it about ten times now, but Lisbon felt it was a fact that bore repeating.
"I thought that was what all girls wanted," Jane said with a shrug.
"Some girls maybe," Lisbon agreed. "But no one actually ever gets one. Especially when they're in their thirties and working for the State Government."
Jane frowned slightly. "Why not?"
"Because..." Lisbon trailed off. It was one of those things that shouldn't need explaining. They just were. But then again, that made it exactly the sort of thing Jane had trouble with.
"See, you can't actually think of a reason," Jane said triumphantly.
Lisbon scowled. "Because it's not practical," she said finally.
Jane grinned slowly, "That's not a good reason."
"Be quiet," she told him quickly. But she smiled as she said it.
"Hey! You should be nicer to me!" Jane reminded her. "I just brought you a surprise pony."
Lisbon tucked a stray hair behind her ear as she glanced back at her pony. "Can I pet him?" she asked hopefully.
"Her," Jane corrected. "And yes. Her handlers assured me she's quite tame."
Lisbon walked over to the pony. "Hello..." she cooed. "What's her name?" she asked Jane over her shoulder.
"Sandy," he answered. "Not particularly creative but there you go."
"Hello Sandy," Lisbon said, reaching her hand out to the pony to stroke her new friend. "I can't believe you smuggled a pony into my office," she said absently for the umpteenth time.
"Get over it," Jane said bluntly. "I've got some carrots hidden in my couch if you want to feed her."
"Really?" Lisbon asked in pleasure.
Jane smiled again. "I brought a pony up several flights of stairs and you're surprised about the carrots?"
Lisbon rolled her eyes. "One, I assumed you took the service elevator. Two, you told me to get over the pony. And three... Actually, you're right. I don't know why I'm surprised about the carrots. Of course you hid them in your couch and not in the fridge like a normal person."
"You might have seen them and caught wise to the whole plan," Jane explained.
"Oh, right," Lisbon said sarcastically. "Because if I'd seen a bag of carrots in the fridge the very first thing I would have thought of is 'Hm. Jane must be planning on smuggling a pony into my office for my birthday.'"
"You might have," he insisted.
"And pigs might fly tomorrow morning," Lisbon snarked.
"A pony did ride an elevator today," Jane reminded her.
Lisbon grinned as she scratched between Sandy's ears, "So you did take the service elevator."
"Of course I took the service elevator!" Jane said in exasperation. "You really think I was going to lead a pony up the stairs?"
"You know Jane, I hadn't really given much thought to how you would smuggle a pony into the CBI to be quite honest with you," Lisbon admitted, still half-distracted by the animal in her office. "No I didn't. Did I Sandy? Oh, you're a nice pony aren't you?"
"Would you like me to go get your carrots now?" Jane asked, the laughter clearly audible in his voice.
But Lisbon didn't care. She was busy playing with her pony, "Yes please."
"Alright," he agreed with an affectionate shake of his head. "I'll leave you to bond with Sandy."
He left her office, grin firmly in place. He saw Van Pelt go in almost immediately. No doubt Van Pelt wanted to bond with the pony as well. Rigsby followed after a moment, while Cho remained in the hall
"Lisbon seems to like her gift," the Asian agent remarked.
"Yeah," Jane agreed. "She does."
"That's nice," Cho added. "She looks happy."
"That was the plan," Jane said absently on the way over to his couch. "Thanks for your help getting it into the elevator by the way."
"No problem," Cho said. After all, it hadn't been his foot the pony had stepped on.
"Aha!" Jane said as he removed the carrots from underneath a couch cushion.
"Hey Jane?" Cho asked.
"Don't bring an animal of any kind, especially one as big as a pony, into the CBI on my birthday, okay?" Cho told him.
"Course not," Jane agreed. "You don't have an office to hide it in."
"Still," Cho prodded.
"Relax Cho," Jane told him. "I wasn't going to anyway."
Cho grinned as Jane bounded back into the office. "Didn't think so," he murmured.
Inside the office Jane was greeted by an admittedly attractive sight. Sandy and Lisbon had apparently bonded far better than he'd anticipated and the pony was busy nuzzling her arms and inside her jacket, almost certainly looking for treats. Lisbon was trying not to laugh, but Jane was sure that had she not been in the office the usually no-nonsense agent would be giggling. "I guess she's looking for these," Jane said holding the carrots to his boss.
"Guess so," Lisbon said with a half a laugh. She grabbed the carrots and gave them to the eager pony. "How long is she here for?" she asked Jane.
"About another 45 minutes, nearly an hour," he told her.
Lisbon watched Sandy eat. "I think we're going to run out of carrots before that," she said dryly.
"I think there might be some in the fridge from the last time Van Pelt brought snacks!" Rigsby suggested quickly. "I'd be happy to get them. Someone should eat them after all."
Van Pelt shot him a look before shaking her head. "There may be some sugar cubes in there too," she added. "I'll check."
"Thanks guys," Lisbon said softly as she scratched the now-particularly-affectionate Sandy's ears.
"Keep giving her treats and you'll have made a friend for life," Jane remarked softly.
"Yeah," Lisbon breathed absently.
Jane watched her in silence for a moment.
"Hey Jane?" Lisbon said suddenly.
"Thank you for the pony," she said.
"Happy Birthday Lisbon," he replied with a smile.
Another day, another murder.
This particular day Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon were on their way to interview Melanie Doyle, the sister-in-law of their latest victim. They didn't know much about her, other than that she'd been widowed about five years ago when her husband died in a car crash. Well, that and that she ran a small hobby farm outside of town.
Jane knew Lisbon was also hoping that the woman could shed some light on her brother-in-law's recent activities.
The two of them pulled down the long driveway and came to a stop outside of a largeish white farmhouse. Lisbon's polite knocking and repeated ringing of the doorbell yielded no response.
"Pickup's parked in the driveway," Jane remarked after a moment. "So she's probably home."
"I know," Lisbon agreed. "You wanna try around back then?"
"After you," Jane gestured with a smile, leading her off of the porch.
Lisbon walked briskly around the house. As expected there was a barn, a paddock with a couple of horses in it, and a few other smaller buildings. "Mrs. Doyle?" she called as she walked towards the barn.
A middle-aged woman walked out of the door. Jane was amused to note she was being followed by a goat walking a few paces behind her. "Can I help you?" she asked.
Lisbon walked over. "I'm Agent Lisbon," she said holding up her badge. "This is Patrick Jane. We're with the California Bureau of Investigation. We were hoping we could ask you about your brother-in-law."
Melanie Doyle sighed. "Yeah," she said softly. "Judy called me when it happened. I figured you guy's be by for a word soon enough."
"When was the last time you spoke to Joe?" Lisbon asked quietly.
The woman shrugged. "A couple of days ago actually," she admitted. "Joe and I, we kind of lost touch a bit after my husband died, but we still tried to check in with each other regularly. We never really clicked all that well personality-wise y'know? But Joe was a good man. I almost can't believe he's dead."
Lisbon nodded. "When you spoke to him did he say anything..." she started to ask, when she felt something nudge against her leg. She glanced down in surprise.
The goat was staring back up at her.
Mrs. Doyle laughed. "Don't mind Frank," she assured her. "He's harmless. Just likes someone to scratch behind his ears. And he's a bit of a ladies' man, or goat rather. Got a thing for pretty women."
Lisbon laughed softly and obligingly scratched behind Frank's ears. The goat closed his eyes in pleasure.
Lisbon went back to her interrogation, all the while scratching behind Frank's ears.
Jane mostly stayed silent in the background, watching the two women closely. After a few minutes he decided it was time to put himself forward.
He took a couple of steps closer to the two women. "You didn't kill him," he said confidently, gesturing to Melanie Doyle as he did so.
She looked briefly insulted by his remark. Unfortunately, the usual effect of one of his unexpected statements designed to confuse his target and catch them off guard was ruined when it was followed almost immediately by a rather loud yelp. "He head-butted me!" Jane cried, rubbing his thigh as he took a step back from the still hostile-looking goat.
Both women smirked. "Ah yes," Melanie said. "I forgot to mention, Frank can also be rather territorial."
Jane sighed. "Anyway," he said, deciding to start again as he shuffling slightly closer to Lisbon, only to be head-butted a second time. "OW!" he yelled. "He head-butted me again!"
"He's territorial,Jane," Lisbon repeated slowly.
"Yeah, but of you?" Jane wondered. "I mean, I can understand Melanie here, but this is ridiculous."
Melanie smirked. "Frank makes friends quickly," she said with a shrug. "And like I said, he likes pretty women."
Jane sighed, but he was determined not to let a mere goat get the better of him. He tried to surreptitiously get closer to his boss. It didn't work. "Lisbon!" he complained after yet another headbutt to the leg.
She was smirking. The woman was enjoying this. "What do you want me to do about it Jane?" she asked.
"Call of your goat," he muttered.
"Not my goat," she reminded him easily. "Besides, I always thought goats were ornery animals. Like someone else I know, by the way. I bet even if I wanted to I couldn't call him off."
"You're right about that," Melanie interjected. "Frank's decided you need protecting from this one, so protect you is what he'll do. After all, you scratched behind his ears for a good five minutes."
"Oh brother," Jane muttered. That resulted in another head-butt in the thigh. "Okay, that thing has horns!" he complained.
"I had noticed," Lisbon said. "Why don't you just take a step back then? It'd probably be easiest all around."
Jane scowled. It was ridiculous when a man couldn't even stand next to his boss after all. How was he supposed to get any work done this way? He'd have to complain to Madeleine about working conditions when they got back to the CBI. His leg was going to have a bruise on it and everything now.
Not to mention Lisbon was going to mock him the whole way back.
After a few minutes (and much head-butting), Jane and Frank reached a compromise. Jane could stand within speaking distance of the two women (albeit a few paces further away than he was used to), but if he tried to get any closer to either of them, particularly Lisbon, he received another headbutt in warning. Frank seemed to feel the need to hover particularly close to Jane in order to make sure this system was enforced. It was irritating.
Stupid, stubborn goat. He could understand how the animal could get attached to Lisbon, but this was ridiculous. He'd never noticed before how often he inadvertently moved towards her when they interviewed people until that ability was taken away. Jane was rapidly getting frustrated by the whole thing.
Actually, he wanted to leave the farm altogether.
Thankfully, a few minutes later Lisbon decided they could go. After all, as he'd realized two minutes after meeting her, Melanie Doyle wasn't their murderer. As far as Jane could tell she hadn't been kidding when she'd said she and her brother-in-law weren't particularly close; she only knew basic background on their victim, nothing to help find his killer.
"We'll call you if we need anything else," Lisbon told her, as she turned to go.
"You'll find who did this Agent Lisbon?" Mrs. Doyle asked.
"We'll do our best," Lisbon promised. "Goodbye Frank," she added.
"Yes, goodbye," Jane added curtly.
"I guess you and Frank'll never be friends," Mrs. Doyle said with a smirk. "Try not to take it personally."
Jane smiled, his move improving, now that he'd finally be able to get away from the stupid animal. "It's fine," he assured her. "I'm tough enough to take a few head-butts to the leg. I think my ego can survive a single goat's dislike."
"Yeah," the widow agreed, as she walked back towards the barn. "But what about your suit?"
Jane looked down in horror. Sure enough, the corner of the suit jacket he'd been holding over his arm had what looked like a large hole in it. "Lisbon!" he cried. "That goat ATE my suit!"
"I know," Lisbon said cheerfully. "I noticed."
"Well, why didn't you say anything?" he demanded.
"Payback," she said succinctly.
"For what?" he asked as he examined his suit in disgust. Thing was completely ruined now.
"For all those times you didn't tell me something that you should have," Lisbon told him. "Now come on you big baby. Let's go catch a killer."
"But my suit..." Jane whined. "There are teeth-marks in it now! It'll never be the same."
"No one cares, Jane," Lisbon assured him.
"The CBI better compensate me for this," Jane growled.
Lisbon laughed. "Yeah, good luck with that."
Jane followed her sulkily, muttering about stubborn animals who destroyed perfectly nice suits and women who didn't give adequate warning when it happened. "I liked that suit Lisbon," he said again, hoping to elicit sympathy.
He didn't get any. "Just get in the car, Jane," she ordered.
"You're very stubborn. You know that don't you Lisbon?" Jane asked. "Hey, maybe that's why Frank liked you so much! He realized you had something in common."
"You're just mad because he ate your suit," Lisbon told him.
"And gave me a bruise on my leg!" Jane added. "I'm injured Lisbon. And you're being mean. I think you should kiss it better."
"Not a chance," she retorted, ignoring his pout. "Actually," she added, as she started the car. "Frank reminded me of you in a way?"
"Me?" Jane asked in disbelief.
"Sure," Lisbon agreed with a shrug. "He hovered around my personal space waiting for me to give him a pat on the head and generally made a nuisance of himself."
Jane crossed his arms in annoyance and decided not to dignify that remark with a reply. It was ridiculous anyway.
He didn't wait around for her to pat him on the head.