Don't look at me with those eyes, never look at me with those eyes. Those deep eyes that stare into the depths of the cavity of my being. Your hand extends to me and the result is always the same. Your blade goes for my neck and my scythe goes for your heart. I want to pierce it, I want to see it - bleeding between my claws so I can know that a heart even exists. I've never felt one beating within my chest but I can see one behind the glow in your eye. I close my eyes with a smirk and when I open them I'm in a world that I know nothing of. It's much more peaceful here and I seem to be in a body that is not mine but I do not entirely care. I do things I am not accustomed to. I brush my hair, I get dressed, almost as if I know every action that follows and I leave this temporary sense of sanity. I hear a voice inside my head, guiding me what to do. Her name is "Takanashi-"
"-Yomi" I whisper in response.
Takanashi Yomi, is that my name? I'm only familiar with the name that was given to me by that girl. She said her heart told her that my name was Dead Master. However, the voice inside my head here tells me that my name is Yomi. Takanashi Yomi. Here I have a voice, here I can speak - feel, things I have never felt in the otherworld. Here I am not Dead Master, but here I am .. Yomi. I leave the car, still trying to grasp the things that are in this world - and I hear footsteps off in the distance mixed with footsteps of blank faces that all look the same to me. In the crowd I spot her, .. I spot the girl with the heart. No, it can't be her - there is a difference. There has to be a difference.
I look away quickly. It's those eyes again, those eyes that captivate me and hold me in a stillness of an emotion that is foreign to me. Let me walk away, let me never see them again.
But she follows me. In this world she follows me, and she talks to me, and she smiles at me. She no longer raises her sword to me, she no longer fights with me. In this world, her name is "Kuroi Mato" - and for whatever reason, my lips pull into a smile and I fade away into the depths of this girl's mind. I let the voice inside my head, the voice that dared to take the name of Yomi become conscious. I linger in the back, watching, waiting - I do not trust the girl with the heart. I've never trusted her. What is there to trust in people? Nothing, absolutely nothing for each person is the same.
I hate them, I hate them all, so I will let Yomi have her chance, I will let her watch - I will let her find this happiness and when the day comes that it shatters and those blue eyes betray her, I will vanish from this world and return to my castle. I can only trust myself. Stop making me think that I can trust you. I can't. You pointed a gun at me after claiming you could take me away from everything. You told me you could save me inside your eyes. I hate you, disappear, disappear, disappear.
I can feel something beating within Yomi's chest whenever she is near Mato. It becomes fast, then slow, and her face becomes hot when Mato touches her hand. I have never felt these things before. My skin was always ice cold, there was never a rhythm inside my chest. Everything about my existence was dead. Perhaps that was why she gave me the name "Dead Master" - I bring death not only upon myself, but to things around me. It's fine, I remind myself. It's fine, because at the end of the day knowing there is the blood of the one who betrayed you along the blade of your scythe you can smile and laugh knowing you wouldn't want it any other way.
So why have I made tears stream down Yomi's cheeks?
Mato wipes them away. It makes me angry. She's such a liar, those eyes are lying. Those blue eyes hold more than just some sense of justice and gratification. They hold deceit. She's just waiting for the right moment to betray Yomi. That's what those eyes do to you. You believe them, they captivate you, and then they betray you.
Stop looking at me with those eyes, stop touching me, stop making me feel things I do not understand.
Dawn breaks through the horizon and Yomi awakens. I linger in the back of her mind, I have taken more control lately ever since that Yuu has taken her place in Mato's heart.
"She doesn't need you anymore." I whisper.
"That's a lie .."
"She never loved you, or cared about you .. Look, she's disposed of you so easily. She's replaced you with Yuu - oh, and you thought she could be your friend. You thought you could trust her, couldn't you? After all the moving, after all the tears, and the loneliness, you thought you made a friend. Well isn't it fitting that she betrayed you."
"Stop it!" She screams at me, the voice inside her head.
I've been dormant for very long, watching, observing. It is pointless to feel this emotion, the emotion that Mato declares for Yomi and Yomi reciprocates for Mato. There was a time when I believed that I felt that for her. There was a time when I believed in the touch of a hand, the beat of a heart, the warmth of skin. It's a shame when it all comes to an end, such a swift end. I manifest myself around Yomi's subconscious, holding her, cradling her. Whispering over and over to let me take her to a better place. To let me show her that this world was not meant for us. I whisper the truth into her ears, the truth that she and I both know.
The girl with those eyes can not be trusted.
She nods, weakly, and I vanish back into the corners of her mind. She is still hesitant, so I let her go to school. I let her see why, I want to let her suffer and writhe in the pit of what she thought was love. I want to show her how cruel people can really be.
"It's a lie." she says, almost inaudibly.
"It's a pleasure to hear you agree."
And in a moment, - all it takes is a moment, Yomi and Dead Master become one entity and leave this world for that lonely castle on the cliff of what could have been.
So now it is my turn, in the body I was so familiar with. I bring my index finger to my lips and lick my claw. It tastes salty, like tears -
Why am I crying?
I walk over to the body of the girl with the eyes, she is beaten on the ground and unconscious. I kick her, and laugh. Then I kick her again, and again, and again. I bruise her, until she coughs and wakes up, grabbing at her side. She looks up to me. Stop looking at me with those eyes. I hate them, stop looking at me with the eyes that made me fall in love with you. Stop making me believe something that isn't true. But she doesn't stop, she stands up onto her feet. She wobbles, and she extends her hand out to me once more - with a smile this time. Why is she smiling at me? I scream and I hiss, hitting her hand away but she just shakes her head and extends her hand out to me once more. There's a trickle of blood along her lower lip now. Did I cut that too?
"Stop it!" I scream
She doesn't listen. She doesn't say anything. What, is she mocking m-
That warmth. The foreign warmth that Yomi felt when Mato hugged her. I feel it, in Black Rock Shooter's arms. She's so warm, and I am so cold. My body is freezing compared to hers and for a moment I almost thought that I could feel her shiver. Still, she does not let go. Her hold on me is so tight, I feel as though I might burst. Tears run down my cheeks, but I do not want this. I do not deserve this. Stop, stop. You're being the monster here, not me. Stop it - stop it!
I cry and I scream and I claw at her skin and push her away but she does not let go of me. The rips I have created in her pale flesh bleed but she does not let go.
"She has come to rescue me .. She loves me." Yomi whispers into my ear.
What do I say in a moment like this? I can feel my presence fading. Perhaps I am .. what do they call it? Slipping away? Do I no longer have a purpose here? My purpose all this time was to hate you. To kill you. Now I no longer have one. I have no means to stay here, so instead let me hand over this girl to you. You love her, don't you? When your hands held each other, I could feel warmth, - is that what you call kindness? When you two kissed, I could feel her heart racing, - is that what you call love? I was not meant for such things as love and kindness, but if there is still room for Yomi - who is also me, to be able to experience it, then I will gladly disappear. Never know of my true feelings, Black Rock Shooter.
Before I disappear I want you to see me as you always saw me, evil, cold, ruthless,
But as Yomi, remember me as something better, remember me as a smile, a hug, a laugh.
And never forget that I loved you.
Even after I disappear.