I have no idea where this came from. The first paragraph drifted across my head and then turned into a 200 word story.

An important note: in the season 5 and 6 parts when Buffy uses the word love she's not actually in love with Spike. Her feelings are just big and confusing and she's not sure what to call them. I'm not sure how I feel about this story, but it wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it down. Let me know what you think?

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS. I just like getting into the characters heads.

Season 5, after Intervention

Most times I hate you and everything makes sense. But sometimes I love you and nothing does. (The music's starting baby, and we'll dance, dance, dance).

Season 6, between Smashed and As You Were

Sometimes I hate you and sometimes I love you (and I always, always want you) and either way my world makes sense. But mostly I think I'm starting to like you despite everything that's happened and everything that's happening. It's the liking you that will destroy me. (Flame on dynamite, we'll both burn the same).

Season 7, between Him and Touched

I don't hate you anymore and I don't think I love you. Nothing makes sense. But that's just how it is in our world now. (The world is crashing all around us; take my hand I wont let go).

Season 7, Chosen

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you and there's no more room for hate. We're alone in hell and you're dying. Loving you so suddenly, so fiercely, so surely shouldn't make any sense at all. But it's the only thing in this world that does. (I'd whisper goodbye, but, darling, I'll see you again).