DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
NOTE: Okay, this is a "crack fic" - it's not meant to be taken seriously. We're just out to have a bit of fun with a bizarre idea. Originally the idea was mine, taken in one direction by Matdeception, and then taken in an entirely different direction by myself and Kender.
Chapter One: Trouble can be spelled M-I-H-O-S-H-I
"So you're... a genie," said Ranma, looking at the smoky figure who had just appeared out of a lamp.
"That's right!" chirped the tanned blonde in the harem outfit.
"I was expecting someone with blue skin and a beard," said Ranma after awhile.
"Well, I've never had a beard, but once I got really really cold and got kinda bluish," said the girl. "Oh, and you don't get three wishes. Just one."
POOF! Terms & Conditions of Use:
Genie Wish (1)
Rule #1: You can't simply wish for more wishes. Not permitted. Not gonna happen.
Rule #2: The power of Life & Death is not within the province of this particular genie. He'd have to contact an outside source - and if that's a no go - you'd have wasted your wish. So no killings, and no resurrections.
Rule #3: All wishes will comply with the Law Of Conservation Of Magick, least amount of magic required to reach the specified result.
Rule #4: No run-on wishes.
Rule #5: No intrinsic world-wide changes in personality allowed. World peace would require everyone in the world to either be dead or mellowed out to the point of near catatonia.
"Okay," said Ranma. "So could this... cure a Jusenkyo curse?"
"Oh yeah, but you really got to get the wording right," said Mihoshi. "They tell me the strong curses are really hard to fix because they tend to try to not get fixed."
"Okayyyy," drawled Ranma. He had to word something RIGHT? "Who's 'they'?"
"The regular genies," said Mihoshi. "I'm actually an officer with the Galaxy Police, except I kinda got involved in one of Washu's experiments in contacting other dimensions and well - here I am!"
"Uh huh," said Ranma. Okay, he had to get the wording just right and this gal was a total airhead - that was his assessment. He was SCREWED. Waitaminute. Maybe...
"So let me get this straight," said a skeptical Nabiki. "You need a wish worded so that this blonde cosplayer can cure your curse. How did you get this money anyway?"
"You know those guys from the boy's school that have been mugging elementary school kids? I hadda word with 'em," said Ranma.
"Okay," said Nabiki. "Looking for a little positive karma?"
"Need all the help I can get with this one," replied Ranma.
"True," said Nabiki, wondering what the REAL angle was. Oh well, one way to find out. "It's simple. If I were in your shoes, I'd pick up the lamp like this, hold it firmly so it doesn't get knocked out of your hands by space ninjas or something. Then it's easy. All of your problems are because of your father, your upbringing, or that you can't focus beyond martial arts."
"Can we get back to fixing it so I don't have a Jusenkyo curse?" asked Ranma.
Nabiki nodded and pocketed the money. The joke should end here and then she could find out what was REALLY happening. "So I'd just wish that you were exchanged with the character from THAT manga."
"Okay, granted!" said Mihoshi, her eyes flashing and the lights shifting.
"Wha?" asked Nabiki as Ranma vanished and someone else appeared.
"Operator?" asked the boy, clutching absolutely nothing and looking around him in shock. "I think I've been disconnected."
"Waitaminute," said Nabiki. "If you're here, then..."
"That's right, they've been exchanged," said Mihoshi. "Now I've got two more people to grant wishes to! Bai-bai!"
"WAIT!" said Nabiki, but the girl had already vanished, leaving her pink haremwear behind to flutter to the floor.
"Uhm, excuse me?" said the thin boy. "What happened?"
"I made a major mistake," said Nabiki absently. Then picked up her glass of water and threw it at the boy. Who turned from a thin wimpy looking boy to a thin, somewhat goth-looking girl.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!" said the boy, looking down his shirt then clutching his crotch, and then finally fainting dead away.
"Oh, this is NOT going to go well," said Nabiki.