Pokemon Halloween Horrorfest 4 : Curse of Wizard Itchy
D: Geez, did I really come close, guys. October 29th. Two days before Halloween (almost one in some places). Laziness and writer's block really got to me this year, and I still could have done better. I tried, though. I'm not about to let myself down, let alone others. And if no one else likes it, well, I tried. I don't have to impress anyone except myself. xD I swear, though, I came pretty close to this becoming OrangeShippy. Forgive me ! (Sorry, Tracey. xP)
And without further ado, I bring you Number Four ! :D
NOTE : This fanfiction makes references to South Park, Harry Potter, Death Note Abridged, and anything else that Axy made a reference to and can't place right now. Note that she has nothing against any of these references and actually enjoys all of these things. Thanks~
Housesitting was a flop.
When Mrs. Ketchum asked for someone to watch her house while she and Professor Oak traveled to Isshu with Ash, Mimey being gone on his own "journey," Misty gladly volunteered for the position. With Daisy taking over the Cerulean Gym for a few weeks, she finally had some time to herself, and what better way to spend it than in her best friend's home ? All she had to do was collect the mail and make sure coyotes didn't get into the garden, and she could camp out for a month. When Misty first arrived at the Ketchum residence, she was ecstatic. There were so many possibilities ; she could train with her pokemon, or snoop around for some thrifty coupons. How she was so misled.
Despite all of her little visits to Pallet in the past, this extension made her realize that when a person really got down and dirty, the town really was filled with what were country rednecks. The Ketchum family was no exception. Delia's house was spotless, yet the lives that lived there seemed to live an unsatisfying dull life. There were no interesting board games to play, nor any humorous pictures hiding out from the visible photo albums. Even Ash's room proved to be filled with nothing that could entertain, other than an ancient computer with bad service. Only three things gave her comfort in this time of boredom - pokemon, food, and the gracious television.
By the time Halloween came, housesitting had reduced Misty to a couch potato. A springy comedy blared on the TV as the redhead was stretched across the couch, feet rested against a couple of throw pillows. No doubt Delia would have scolded her for abusing the furniture, but what mischief lurked when the mom was away. Besides, a good spraying of Febreeze would hide any evidence. She never knew how her sisters could get into so much trouble until she actually lived in someone else's house. It was a lot easier to bend the rules.
A hand was half-dipped in a small bowl of melted cheese, fingertips warm with its leftover heat. The other hand was squished under her belly, gasping with sweat to be with its companion in the bowl. Neither she nor her hands noticed right away when a figure opened the front door and crept inside to stare at her, beyond bewildered. It was only until the comedy was interrupted with some commercials that she noticed the figure, a boy, standing over her with a hand behind his head. She almost swung her cheesy hand until recognizing him. " Ohh, Tracey, it's you. "
" Yeah. " Tracey Sketchit broke into a nervous chuckle. It was quite discomforting to see a fellow visitor like himself relaxing on the couch like she owned the place. " Um...Professor Oak and Mrs. Ketchum should be coming back from that conference sometime this week. I'm sure they'll both be happy to come back to clean houses. "
Misty shrugged. " Not much reason to dirty up the place. Gary's still in Sinnoh, and Ash is in...where'd he go this time ? "
" Isshu. "
" Right, Isshu. " Careful of not flicking cheese anywhere, she sat up and stretched out her arms, yawning. It wasn't often that Tracey had enough free time to dawdle and visit. Since she arrived in Pallet, she only saw him once before this. " Hope he gets mauled by the pokemon there. I didn't even get to see him this time. "
As sweatdrops started to form, Tracey chuckled louder to avoid Misty dragging him into that dark, violent atmosphere. He decided to sit down next to the girl before she directed her violence at him. " Uh-huh. Listen, Misty. I didn't exactly come here to plan out Ash's death by a bunch of foreign pokemon. I just thought that since the Professor's left me alone, and you're here doing nothing but eating up all of Mrs. Ketchum's groceries...um, I figured that maybe we could feed the lab pokemon together. "
" Tracey, I swear to Mew, if you're hitting up on me..."
" No, no, no ! " Honestly, it seemed that every teenage girl he met thought he was hitting up on her. Just because he was friends with Gary didn't mean that he was a ladies' man, too. Then again, most of the girls that he met were usually pretty. Looking and talking to Misty made a clear exception to the usually rule, though. " I just thought you'd want to get out of the house, is all. Haven't you ever heard about how more hands mean quicker work ? And maybe afterwards we could goof off and order a pizza ? "
He gulped, knowing too well that this wasn't helping his argument. Expecting the trademark mallet of DOOM to smash his head, he shut his eyes and awaited unconsciousness. When she didn't attack him he opened one eye to see what was delaying said attack. Misty was still sitting on the couch, hands stuffed in her shorts pockets, the cheesy one probably soaking in the lefty. No mallet, not even a frown. Just a smirk that held a lot of excitement. " Just as long as we can do half-and-half on the pizza. Not everyone enjoys tofu as much as you and the Professor. " She stood up, yawning. " You do know that if you were Gary asking this I would've punched you. "
" I know. "
" Your nose would've been leaking like a fountain. "
" And I would've had to throw you out of here. "
" Of course, Misty. "
In a few minutes, the two teenagers were out of the house and halfway across to the lab with pails in their hands. Misty made it a life mission to soak up all of the outside that her small, side-pony head could hold. It was true that television made people into slobs ; it hadn't been that long of a house-sitting, and she already felt like mush. No wonder Tracey didn't like to sit around for too long. Since when did such a light pail feel so heavy ? Maybe the outdoors could be like whatever those American superheroes' powers were to the superheroes. She would have to bug Lt. Surge about that when given the chance.
Another few minutes passed. As they approached the lab's gates, she took a deep breath. Outdoors in the country really was like having superpowers. It almost felt great when she nearly hit Tracey with the wooden gates as she came running into the fields. Tracey himself didn't seem to mind too much, rubbing his bum in an attempt to feel better. " You seem to be a bit overjoyed about working, Misty, " he noted.
" Indeed I am. It's times like these that make me miss the gym. I can't wait to go back now. " She wiggled her pail and grinned, please. " So, do we just go out there and start feeding them ? "
" Yeah, just go out there. "
" 'Kay. "
Wiggling her pail once more, she began to distribute the generic pokefood to the many pokemon that resided on Oak's property. Misty never thought she could feel so many emotions through just feeding them. It felt slimy to dip her hands in the cool water and help, and creepy to drop kibbles into the Diglett holes. Ash's Bulbasaur turned out to be a picky eater, tossing his food with Vine Whip, while Squirtle kept trying to steal the food pails. At least none of them tried to attack her.
It was when she crossed over to the fields where the Tauros grazed that something within her felt spooked. Still wondering how Ash could've caught thirty hyperactive bulls so long ago, it seemed that something was different about them. Visibly different. Usually they would be devouring grass and fighting each other for dominance, but instead all thirty of the Tauros seemed lifeless. Not one even noticed Misty as she passed by them. Most were laying down, looking up at the clouds. A few mooed and bumped into each other, pupils the size of tiny pinpoints. It had to be Tracey's fault. Professor Oak kept telling him not to interfere with their lives just for a quick sketch.
Deciding to confront him about it, she stomped over to where Tracey was playing with an Aipom and punched him in the arm. He winced and rubbed the sore spot, watching as the Aipom turned over in laughter. " Ow. What did I do now ? " he whined.
" Depressing those poor Tauros, that's what ! " Misty hissed, punching him in the other arm. Earning another wince and a confused look, she put down the pail and placed her hands on her hips. " Aren't you supposed to be the smart one of this group ? As an assistant shouldn't you know what's going on in this preserve ? Or are you worrying about your tofu too much to care about anything else ? "
" Misty, that's not fair. You know I can't be everywhere at on- "
He stopped in mid-sentence at the sight of the mallet of DOOM being pulled out from nowhere. The Aipom sweatdropped, shuddered, and scurried up the nearby tree. Misty wagged her weapon and frowned. " They're all just gathered around like a pile of logs. It's like they just ate something Ash made. Didn't the Professor tell you to quit sketching them ? "
The confusion grew deeper in Tracey's face. " I haven't been sketching them. Maybe they're just tired ?"
" At four-thirty in the afternoon ? "
" It happens. "
A sigh came out, and she poofed the mallet of DOOM back into nothingness. Misty bent down and picked up the pail, smiling. " Guess you're right. They'll probably feel better later. Now let's go ! Pizza awaits us ! "
This was the real meaning of vacation, having a warm blend of cheese and sausage swishing around her tongue. Despite being country people, the ones at the small pizzeria really knew how to make a good pizza. Misty beamed as she smelled and tasted the triangular slice of food. It was a change from eating nothing but sandwiches and salad.
Next to her Tracey was enjoying a tasty mix of tofu and mushrooms sprinkled with extra shredded cheese. His taste was far from normal, but at least he didn't put anything and everything on his pizza like Ash did. He ate quietly like a Rattata, nibbling at the creation with his front teeth. Unlike Misty, his only worry at the moment was getting no stains on Professor Oak's couch.
Scratch that. They sat on said couch, watching a wrestling program, much to Tracey's reluctance. Somehow keeping clean and watching men break chairs on each other's backs didn't seem to mix. Misty usually wasn't into the program herself, but there was an extra-special match that could only be accessed through Pay-Per-View, which was bought with Professor Oak's satellite dish. Although Tracey wasn't too enthused about it ("$14.99 for a wrestling" was all he could say before being hit with the mallet of DOOM), Misty's sparks were on high-wire. Crasher Wake was spinning around in circles as Lt. Surge prepared another knuckle sandwich for him. Very interesting.
In the midst of the first knock-out, she felt something was wrong. While Crasher Wake was finally making his comeback and now had a lethal chokehold on the lieutenant, she could've swore that she heard a faint mooing sound. Not wanting to alarm the uptight Tracey, she kept quiet, continuing to stare at the screen. Those Tauros were on the other side of the preserve ; not even a herd of them could have made that much noise. It had to be her imagination, she decided.
A few minutes later, the mooing grew louder, more realistic. She tried to focus her attention on Lt. Surge grabbing a lawn chair thrown from the audience, but now she knew she was going crazy. Too much time courting the television had finally gone to her head, and now she was hearing voices. When Tracey nudged her, she was ready to jump. " Misty...do you hear mooing ? "
" I'm not going crazy ! " A deep red spread across Misty's face, and she chuckled, putting a hand behind her head. " Um...what I meant to say was yes. You think it's the Tauros ? "
" I dunno. They're usually quiet this time of hou- WAAAH ! "
BOOM ! The herd of Tauros broke into the wall and stampeded right past Misty and Tracey, all mooing and crushing anything that their hooves stepped upon, even the coffee table. With horror the teenagers realized that none of the bulls showed their pupils, only blank, white eyes. As they made their way across the lab, breaking another wall to go back outside, Misty knew something was wrong. And it wasn't the food.
She shuddered and stood up, avoiding the glass and splintery wood. Tracey's face was pale, and he looked at her, bewildered. All she could do was shrug and shake her head, searching for words. "A-D- we need to call someone. "
Tracey nodded and walked over to the phone, picking up the receiver. He turned to glance at her and mouthed, "Ash ? " to which she shook her head again. " You think Ash can help us out at a time like this ? He probably doesn't even remember ever catching thirty Tauros ! Call Gary. "
" Gary ? Like...motherflippin' Oak, Gary ? "
" No, Tracey, like Gary-mother-f-king-Oak, Gary ! Call him ! "
Another nod. He began to dial the foreign number, hoping that the call wouldn't add an extra charge to the monthly bill. While he explained the problem to Gary, Misty flopped back on the couch and turned off the TV, wiping a teary eye with her hand. She shouldn't have felt so distressed about this, but something was definitely wrong. Since Gary was learning to become Mr. Expert, maybe he could help them. Being neighbors with Ash, he probably dealt with worse situations than this.
Soon Tracey handed the phone to her, and she almost sighed in relief when Gary's voice greeted her. " Yo, Carrot-Top. "
" Hi, Gary. What's the verdict ? "
" The verdict is- did they really crash my gramps's pad ? "
Misty rolled her eyes. " Yes. There are two gaping holes in the wall and the coffee table's broken. Go on. "
" Right. " She could hear Gary trying to stall for time. It wasn't a good sign. " Misty...I've been keeping a dire secret from you. "
" Oh, Mew, you're gay. "
" ...no. It was three years ago. I'd try to go into flashback mode for you, but you know...the phone's visually impaired. Damn technology. " He snorted. " Anyway, it was right after the Indigo League. Ketchum decided to call me and rub his little 'victory' in my face. He was at the Pokemon Center. You and Brock were probably getting busy or smoking pot or whatever, I dunno. I won't judge you for getting into that hippie Wiccan crap. "
" Get on with it..."
" Whatever. Anyway, there was this one part in the conversation where Ketchum mentioned something about one of his new friends. You probably know who he is. Looks like Ketchum with that dopey smile but looks like a ginger ? "
" Ritchie ? "
" Yeah, him. Mr. Itchy. Ketchum was blabbing about he and Mr. Itchy met, how they're all good best of buddies and going to have an everlasting friendship or some stupid b.s. like that. And then..."
" 'And then' what ? " Misty prompted.
" And then things got superfreaky. He was saying all these weird things, like Mr. Itchy's been casting spells since he was six, and he can summon really huge Dragonite. I thought he was pulling stuff out of the sky like he usually does, but then there was something that really struck me. I dunno if this counts as psychic ability or not, but Mr. Itchy could control living things with his mind. There was this incident with a wild Growlithe that wasn't doing anything wrong, and Mr. Itchy did something to it. That Growlithe had no pupils, just like those Tauros, and it ended up terrorizing the nearby community for a year. There were rumors that the Growlithe went psycho because of some deal gone wrong. "
A brief period of silence began. Misty waited patiently for Gary to regain his grip and continue. When he did there seemed to be an aura of awkwardness hanging over the phone. " You know, Ketchum isn't the best friend in the world. Sure, you could travel with him for what seems to be forever, but when the end of forever comes, he'll toss you. It's happened to you, me, Squinty, Sketchit, that blue-haired cheerleading chick. Even if he doesn't toss you, he'll forget your birthday, pokemon, likes and dislikes. Mr. Itchy may not have traveled with Ketchum, but that broken bond, along with his already wacky state of mind, must have drove him up the wall. And so now you have a herd of homicidal zombie Tauros. Not a pretty sight from what I'm hearing. "
The faint mooing sound from earlier became louder. Misty placed a fist under her chin. " So, what do we do ? "
" Well, without involving Ketchum ? Shoot Mr. Itchy. Preferably kill him, but a crippling blow can do it, too. Paraplegics can't be pokemon trainers. He'd be dead on the inside. "
" Gary ! "
" Hey, I'm only speaking the truth ! You think a guy in a wheelchair can travel for miles on end with dirt roads and crazy criminals by just wheeling himself around ? Point is, you either cripple him or put him outta his misery. And then the Tauros will go back to normal. Can't say the same for Gramps's walls, though. "
" Okay. Thanks for the help, Gary. "
She hung up the phone and turned to see Tracey bent down, sketching the massive hole in the wall. As his eyes met Misty's, the artist blushed and tucked away his sketching pad and pencil. There was a fiery look of determination in her eyes, which somehow frightened her more than her mallet of DOOM. The fright meter only intensified when he saw her take Professor Oak's trusty shotgun from above the fireplace. Whatever Gary had said to her, it wasn't good. " Misty ? What's going on ? "
" Gonna shoot us a ginger. "
Tracey nodded before becoming confused again. " Wait, aren't you a ginger ? "
" SHUT UP ! "
They walked deep into the forest. Shotgun in her hands, Misty hid her fury under a hood and kept an eye out for any icky bug pokemon. Behind her came Tracey with a flashlight. He had never met this Ritchie before, or even heard about him before this, but knew that any crazed pokemon trainer was not to be reckoned with lightly. And if Misty wanted to go so far as to kill him, then maybe it was a B-grade relationship gone bad.
A cloud drifted across the moon, shrouding the last shred of natural brightness. Two Tauros circled around a small shack that was discovered near a few shrubs and a tree stump. On a loose piece of wood, probably the door, hung a sign with scribbly handwriting. When Tracey shone the light upon it, it read, " Enter at ye risk. "
Obviously taking the risk, Misty kicked the door open and ran in, Tracey rushing in after her. The shack was very tidy yet underlined with a powerful sense of creepiness. Pictures of the famous plumbers Mario and Luigi making out were nailed to the walls. A rug with a pentagram on it served as a welcome mat. And sitting in a leather chair was none other than Ritchie himself, dressed only in a pointed hat and a dark purple "wizard's" cloak.
" Eek, turn the flashlight away ! "
Misty batted the flashlight to the floor and shuddered. Another round of mooing began as Ritchie flushed and stood up, hiding his private parts with the cloak. When all was back to normal, he smirked, turning on a red light for dramatic effect. " Greetings, Miss Waterflower and the guy with perverted drawings, " he started, grinning. " I suppose you are here because of the Tauros. Or maybe you've come to play a little D&D ? "
" Ooh, is that the new Yahtzee game ? "
" TRACEY ! "
Ritchie facefaulted. " Who dares to insult the mythical power of Dungeons and Dragons ? "
" So...it's a new version of DDR ? I've been wanting to see which hot Swedes made the ticked this time..."
- MALLET OF DOOM ! -
" We're here for the Tauros ! " Misty snapped, smacking Tracey's head with the butt of the gun. " I dunno what beef you've got with Ash, but you're at the end of the line ! "
" Huh ? I don't have a beef with that crazy lunatic. I have a beef because of that crazy lunatic. " One of Ritchie's hands went under his cloak, causing his fellow peers to pale. " He has presented me from being Weasley to that Granger. And possibly left me with some Death Eater spells on me no-nos. "
" ...what ? "
" I said that Ash is a bloody Harry Potter ! He has taken me good credits and cast them to Slytherin ! His stupidity has cost us a billion Gryffindor points ! And now he has forced me to take rein of his flying oxen, only to be talked to so lowly by the love of me life and her oversized hobbit ! Does that settle with me lass ? "
The shotgun was cocked. Misty furrowed her eyebrows. " Only thing I understand is that you're hitting up on me, gross ! "
" What's the problem, Misty ? I'm a highly skilled wizard. My funds and charms won't go out easily. And I've defeated the powerful Voldemort ! Look ! "
He pointed to a lifeless figure that rolled out from under the bed, female with long, brown hair. Tracey threw up on the rug, while Misty's face grew even paler. " Dude...is that Daisy Oak ? "
" Sure is ! " Ritchie replied. " A tempting mistress, she was. More powerful than the best Expecto Patronus. I picked her up on the side of the road and we let that magick-with-a-k flow. 'Course she was yelling about how she'd make me pay if I told her brother about it. " He sighed. " I would've let her go, but then she kicked me in the Sorcerer's Stones. And so my Nimbus grew stiff with anger, and I had to kill her with my spells. Now that I think about it, she was probably from Slytherin. That's when I began itching. "
" Would you knock it off with that geek talk ? "
" Muggle woman, I shall not be insulted ! "
Misty groaned. She still barely understood him, and being called a "Muggle woman," whatever that was, didn't help her patience. " Look, all I want is for Ash's Tauros to go back to normal. Then we'll leave you alone to do your freaky-deaky wizard crap, or whatever you wanna call it. We're all tired ; I'm still hungry because dinner was disrupted. "
" I've got some frozen Zubat in my icebox. "
" . . . no. "
Ritchie sighed again, continuing to scratch under his cloak. He pointed his other hand at the door, where a Tauros stood in the entrance. The mooing became louder and more persistent than ever. " Oh, Misty, love. Perhaps you're not the fair Hermione I've been looking for all my life. Either that or Potter's completely brainwashed you. Alas, you're not the same Hermione I've become smitten with. So, I have no choice but to do away with you and your hideous hobbit. "
He flicked his fingers. The Tauros rushed toward Misty, snorting viciously as it slammed her into the wall. She gasped, spitting out blood from her throat as she felt something crush. Not the gun, since she had made sure to hold onto that. Maybe it was one of her ribs. Daisy always scolded her about broken ribs.
Tracey glared at Ritchie, who had cracked up in laughter. He put a hand in his pocket while the wizard clutched at his stomach. " Hey, what kind of wizard are you supposed to be ? "
" Never mind what I am, you stupid hobbit ! "
" Stop calling me a hobbit, you psycho ginger ! "
" Blasphemy ! "
" I'll show you blasphemy ! "
Pulling out a sock puppet with button eyes, Tracey placed it on his hand and waved it at Ritchie. The wizard gasped and stepped back, eyes bulging as big as dinner plates. " No ! No, you keep that thing away from me ! NOOO ! "
" Shoot him, Misty ! "
She did. She could feel more blood coming up from her, but with the trusty shotgun, she put a bullet through Ritchie's spine. Immediately the boy screamed and passed out on the floor, once again exposing his Sorcerer's Stones and Nimbus to the world. The Tauros who stood by Misty regained its pupils, mooing not out of possession but of hunger. Misty herself slid to the floor, taking out a small cell phone as she grinned at Tracey. " Am I glad that guy is stupid. "
" Yeah, no kidding. " Tracey chuckled, putting away the sock puppet. " You okay ? "
" Yeah. Nothing a doc's visit won't fix. First we gotta take care of some unfinished business, though. "
" Huh ? But Ritchie's crippled. He'll never make another Harry Potter reference again. "
Misty shook her head, pointing to Daisy's corpse. Tracey blushed as she began dialing Gary's number. He knew sock puppets were scary, but Misty was ten times scarier.
" Hey, Gary, it's Misty. You should come back to Pallet right away...something about jackhammering your sister ?..."