(This is a songfic to Back to December by Taylor Swift, just with slightly different lyrics to fit the vampires and Bella. I don't own Taylor Swift, Bella, Jasper, Twilight, or Back to December.)

He remembered.

He remembered when his family left. He remembered when he came to visit her, and the words that she spoke.

"I'm so glad you came to see me.
How's life, tell me how's the family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been gone, busier than ever.
We don't talk, but you work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why.

Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You wanted my blood so you left me there to die."

He remembered how awkward he felt with her casualty. He remembered how he tried to apologize, how she blew it off. He remembered how she acted like it was nothing. He remembered what he said.

"So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to September all the time.
Turns out eternity ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to September, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to September all the time.

These days I haven't been concentrating
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized that I loved you the whole time.
Then the light came, the bright days when fear crept into my mind.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to September all the time.
Turns out eternity ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to September, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to September all the time."

He remembered how she smiled. That casual smile that frightened him, made him think she never loved him. Maybe she didn't. Maybe he was fooled. Everyone loved to fool him.

He remembered what she said after that smile.

"I miss your cold skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that summer night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking.
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand."

He remembered how he didn't understand. He remembered how his enemy, Jacob, Bella's new husband, came barreling down the stairs, nose wrinkled in disgust. "Bella, why's there a leech at our door?" he complained.

"Same to you, dog," he had spat.

"Calm down, Jasper. Jacob's my husband. You were too late.." he remembered how she gave him a sympathetic look. He remembered how he protested feebly.

"But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to September.
Turns out eternity ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to September turn around and make it alright.
I'd go back to September turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to September all the time."

He remembered how she had shook her head and silently closed the door.

A blonde lock of hair fell in front of his face as he dry sobbed.

It was all his fault.