***I won the Loving Bellsper Contest!*** Squee! ^_^
So, this was a gift for my dearest lover JasperLuver48. She gave me a prompt & I gave her a story :-D
Handsandfingers pre-read this thing through every stage and helped me make it so much better. She rocks my socks. Literally. *waggles eyebrows*
And you all know my baby mama coachlady1 beta'd. ^_^
"Oh. Em. Gee! I have an idea!" Jessica shrieks, discarding her Cosmo magazine as she stands to hop up and down.
Why am I here?
"Let's write down the names of all the boys we've screwed!"
While I'm drowning in a chorus of "Ohmigod's!" and "Totally's!" I'm contemplating exactly how many brain cells I'm going to lose tonight.
As Jessica passes around pink, bubblegum-scented stationary and fluffy glitter pens, I'm guessing about half.
I never should have come; why didn't I fake an illness or a fashion crisis? Chinese water torture has nothing on these broads. Goddamn Rose, trying to make me fit in. I love her for trying... but I hate her for succeeding. I've been pretending to be one of them for two fucking years now and every minute that I continue this charade, I'm pretty positive a baby seal dies.
The next time you feel shitty about yourself, remember that you're not the asshole who's singlehandedly responsible for the gruesome baby seal death epidemic—and smile because someone out there named Bella Swan is crappier than you are.
All of the girls are burning brain matter, pens flying across paper as they try to list every one of the countless, random guys they've fucked from here to Timbuktu. And my pen has yet to move. Yeah, I'm a virgin, but damn if I let any of these chicks know. First off, they'd never let me live it down. Second, I'm sure they'd try to hook me up with every guy in the Western hemisphere, even though I seriously doubt any of them even knows what the Western hemisphere is.
I start writing down a few random names because there's no way I'm going to be caught with a blank paper.
After a while, everyone has listed all of the guys they can remember—not that every guy they've screwed is named. Most of them can't remember half of the guys they fucked in the past month, so this is essentially just a fraction of the slutty whole. I lose count, zoning out when Charlotte reaches number twenty-six, James Hunter.
They compare notes, and while they're huddled up and giggling about something undoubtedly stupid, I calculate my chances of successfully nose diving out of this two-story window without getting caught. I really should jump right now. At this point, I could give a damn if I break a few bones.
"Ohmigod! All of us have fucked Edward, Mike, Tyler and Emmett! How awesome is that? We're connected! Squee!"
Group hugs ensue and somewhere out there, a baby seal is being massacred by a killer whale.
"Wait a minute, Bella, you didn't tell us your guys."
Alice, please shut the fuck up and die in a sparklyfire.
They gang up on me, all "yeah, read your list!" which leads to me wishing that I could turn back the hands of time and pick the "jump now!" option as I wistfully look at the paned glass in front of me.
I take a deep breath and look down at my paper. "Ummm... Phineas, Ferb, Arthur Dent, Jackson, John Madden... uh, that's all I got."
"Ohmigod, you're practically a virgin!" Lauren cackles, her frost pink lips giving way to perfectly straight, pearly white veneers.
They all giggle at my expense and I hold my tongue... and a baby seal is now shark bait.
"You haven't even had sex with Edward and that's tragic, Bella. He'll fuck anything! What's wrong with you?"
"Ohmigod," Rose intervenes and I shoot her a grateful smile before she continues. "Did I tell you guys about Laurent?"
The rest of the night oozes by painfully slowly and I start to fall asleep out of sheer boredom when the girls start reading sex tips out of Cosmopolitan. I hate that damn magazine.
As my eyes begin to droop, I can't help but say a quick prayer for the multitude of innocent baby seal souls that have lost their cute little lives at my expense.
Alice is in my driveway, honking the obnoxious horn of her equally obnoxious powder pink Yukon Denali. The girl can't be taller than a goddamned Cabbage Patch doll, yet here she is, stretching her neck so that her elfin nose is barely peeking above the steering wheel.
Mr. Brandon is never home and out of guilt, likes to lavish his dainty princess with anything her little materialistic heart desires. What she desired last week was a Denali with a horn that plays Madonna's Like a Virgin.
I wish I was lying.
We ride in silence to school. And when I say silence, I mean we don't speak because Lady Gaga is assaulting my ears while Alice bounces around to the cookie cutter beats. I will never understand this Lady Gaga infatuation that people have nowadays. Her music is your every day, run-of-the-mill commercial garbage, the choreography is a joke, and her being "artistic" is so fucking forced, it's sickening...
And baby seals are dropping dead at an alarming rate as I bop my head right along with Alice while inwardly cringing, willing her to drive faster so I can escape this manufactured Pop hell.
We park in the front of the school, in a handicapped parking space, because we can —we're popular!—and another baby seal succumbs to the hunger of a vicious polar bear.
I thank the heavens that this is the end of my senior year. Just one more week of pretending before I'm off to U-Dub and away from the pettiness that is high school.
When Rose helped me shimmy my way into the popular crowd, I never thought I'd have to alter myself so completely. Before becoming one of them, I was so tired of being a nobody, of being ignored and I was desperate to fit in. Well, now I do and life fucking sucks because I don't even recognize myself anymore.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else is pretending, too. I know Rose and I can't be the only ones around here who have more depth than a cup of water.
Alice doesn't notice me slink away to my locker—she's too preoccupied with mouth fucking Edward Masen's syphilitic tongue at the moment. There's only so much PDA I can take before the urge to punch out someone's teeth wins. As I get the books I'll need for first period, a note falls from my locker. I pick it up, unfold it, struggling to read the chicken scratch.
The year is almost over and mine is still intact. Is yours?
I have to re-read the words a few times before everything suddenly clicks, and my eyes bug out of my head as I remember everything that I'd pushed to the back of my mind two years ago.
I hurriedly close the note and look around with paranoid eyes, making sure no one else saw— which is ridiculous since they would have no idea what it meant. But still.
My neighbor and used-to-be best friend.
One winter day while we were sitting under a makeshift comforter tent and whispering sneakily in my bedroom, we'd made a pact. Jasper and I vowed that if we were both virgins by the end of our senior year of high school, then we'd just fuck each other to get it over with because going into college a virgin wasn't an option.
We'd pinky sworn and pricked our fingers over an original, first edition, still in its original packaging copy of The X-Men Volume 1—the first X-Men comic ever published. And we were careful not to get any blood on it; that thing was our holy grail. We'd saved our combined allowances for five years before we were able to afford it, so giving our word over the cellophane wrapped comic was a big fucking deal. You don't go back on a promise like that unless you want Hades to emerge from the ground and stab you with a thousand, fiery pitchforks.
Damn my fourteen-year-old self and my raging hormones. What the hell was I thinking when I agreed to that?
Am I even ready?
How can I tell?
I scribble out a quick note, telling him to leave his window open because I'd be coming by tonight to talk about everything. When the coast is clear, I rush to his locker and slip the paper in.
"Ohmigod, did you take that quiz in Cosmo? I am so a sex goddess!"
Nauseating, high-pitched giggles flood the halls and by the sound of it, they're coming my way.
I look around, trying to find an escape because I really don't want to deal with them right now. But there's only one way out and that's directly toward the girls.
I walk around the corner and join them, immediately blending in. None of them noticed my absence, my return or my phony, nervous laughter as I attempt to mask the butterflies in my stomach.
After changing into sweatpants and a tank top, I walk the few feet between our houses and eye the lattice that leads to Jasper's window. It's been so long since I've been here, yet it looks exactly the same. I wonder if his room is any different. Will the walls be covered with pictures of swimsuit models? Will it be simple and sophisticated?
I take a deep breath and start climbing, knowing which weak spots to avoid as I go. Over the years, I learned the hard way where and where not to step and I still have a few scars on my legs to prove it. The window is cracked open and I smirk, rolling my eyes when I peek in. Messy, as always. He's such a slob.
He rushes to the window and lifts the sill with one hand as the other reaches for my hand to help pull me in. Even though it's been a while, we still move together flawlessly, having memorized this same song and dance after doing it a million and two times over the years.
"Why didn't you clean up?" I tease.
He shrugs and sits on the edge of his bed. "Why would I?"
Damn, his voice is so... different now. Deep where it used to be squeaky; raspy where it used to be cute.
I like it.
"I don't know. 'Cause I'm a guest?"
I think about it, unsure of how to answer. Am I a guest? I'd been up here numerous times, probably spending more time here than in my own house. But it's been two years since I've stepped foot in this room and I'm not exactly sure if I'm comfortable here anymore.
Does he even want me here?
If I were him, I sure as hell wouldn't. I'm a shitty friend.
The thought that he might feel uncomfortable with me in his room saddens me, but it's my own dumbass fault.
"Uh, wanna sit down?" He sounds nervous.
I walk to the closet and smile. My spot's still here. Jasper's meticulous when it comes to his shoes, all of them neatly lined by type and color. Growing up, he'd always left an empty spot for me to put my shoes because he hated to have them just lying around in his room.
He didn't want shoes cluttering up his space but the room was a pigpen, clothes, science and technology magazines and comics all over the place—but he always knows where everything is.
After putting my shoes up—making sure they're perfectly aligned, because it'll drive him nuts if they're not—I go and sit on the bed.
"You saved my spot." I smile.
He nods and lowers his eyes, the thick frames of his glasses sliding down his nose a bit. It's cute. "Uh, yeah. I've always saved it... just in case, you know?"
In case I ever stopped being a baby seal killing asshole.
God, I suck.
My teeth catch my bottom lip, vehemently gnawing as I nervously fidget my fingers. "I'm sorry, Jasper."
"I know. What you did was messed up but it's cool, I get it. This is high school." He shrugs and looks at me. "So, how is it? Life seems pretty good for you now."
I snort. "Looks can be deceiving."
His brows knit. "Then why do you do it? What's the point, if you're not happy?"
"I don't know." I bring my knees up to my chest and rest a cheek on them to avoid his scrutinizing gaze. "It's just... easier, I guess."
Could I be any more cowardly?
Jasper lies across the foot of the bed, closing his eyes as he stretches his arms above his head.
I take in a deep breath of air, internally smiling. This feels like old times, both of us here in comfortable silence, not needing to fill the stillness with unnecessary words.
After a few minutes, he drapes an arm over his eyes and I take advantage of the view since I know I won't be caught. Jasper really has changed a lot, how could I not have noticed before?
He has facial hair now, unkempt and scruffy. His hair has grown out and been dyed black, the shoulder length, disheveled strands splayed wildly around his head. Jasper has always been a string bean and that hasn't changed. But I notice that there's now a bit of definition in his arms and as I gawk at the morsel of skin that's peeking through between his shirt and jeans, my greedy eyes detect a few slight cuts in his abs.
Wow, Jasper's kind of... hot.
"Why are you staring at me?"
I quickly drop my cheek back down to my knees, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment. "What? I'm not. I wasn't."
"You were too. My super-senses let me know these things, Jean."
"Shut up." I mumble.
Jean Grey was my alter ego when we were kids and ran around pretending that we were superhero mutants. Jasper was Scott, since he thought Cyclops was the coolest X-Man in existence.
The bed shifts and creaks and I look up. He's in front of me, sitting cross-legged with a serious expression, pushing his glasses back up on his nose. "So in your note, you said... uh... I was wondering if—what did you want to talk about?"
Shit, I'd almost forgotten. My heart speeds up as I open my mouth to speak. "Oh. Well, I'm still a... you know... virgin."
His eyes widen. "You are?"
"What? Is it that unbelievable?"
"No! No, it's not that. I just thought that... well, you're so—"
"It's okay. Forget it."
I shouldn't be surprised. I hang out with the slut brigade, so I guess everyone assumes that I fall in the deluxe-whore category, too.
One of the many perks of popularity.
"Anyway," I continue. "Are you? Have you done it?"
"No. I mean, yes—no, I haven't done it. There were a few almost close calls, but no. I mean, yes... or whatever."
Almost close calls?
I take a steadying breath. "Okay, so we're still on, then?"
He blushes and looks down, making his glasses slip yet again. "Um, I guess so. I mean, is it okay? Do you still want to?"
There's no way in hell I'm backing out now. It would no doubt roast the few baby seals that are left in a fluky, merciless forest fire.
I nod. "Yeah. Yes, I do."
I almost laugh at how eager he is, but thinking about how much this shit is gonna hurt is not a laughing matter. Actually, it's pretty much the complete opposite of funny.
"Aren't your parents home?" I try stalling.
His face falls. "Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"Well, then, we can't do it now. I'm not losing my virginity with your parents in the same house or even in the same neighborhood, for that matter."
"Okay, okay. Um, is your dad home?"
An awkward silence grows between us and we're both looking at anything but each other.
He's probably trying to figure out where we can do the nasty. Really, if I would have known he wanted to do it tonight, I would have never climbed through his window. I probably would have stooped so low as to pretend that I had never even gotten that damn note in the first place.
Having sex has never really crossed my mind. I've never given it any serious consideration. But now that it's so close and obviously in my very near future, I'm kind of freaking the fuck out.
"What about the lake?"
I look at him, puzzled. "What about it?"
"Uh, we could do it there. You know? In my truck... in the back."
Lose my virginity in the back of a pickup? What is this, a country song?
"It could be nice." He's obviously trying to sell me on the deal. "With the moonlight and the water."
And the mosquitoes.
"Tonight?" I gulp. My palms are starting to sweat.
"If you want to... I mean, I would like to do that tonight."
I'm brainstorming, desperately trying to think of any plausible excuse that I can give him.
"Uh... what about gas? I don't have any gas money."
He smiles and fixes his glasses. "You don't have to worry about that, my tank is full and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't take your money."
"Er, that truck is kinda old. It might break down or something."
"Nah, I just had a tune up. It's good."
I'm floundering here.
I got nothin'.
"Okay." I acquiesce, trying not to pout.
I tell him that I'll meet him at his truck in thirty minutes and I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest as I climb out of the window to go home.
I'm half hanging out, my feet already finding purchase on the lattice, and I lift my head to look at him. "Yeah?"
He walks closer, pauses and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. "Well, since we're going to do this, I was thinking that maybe we should kiss first?"
That makes sense. Kissing should come before fucking, right?
"Okay." I agree.
I nod, blushing a little, trying not to snicker at his impatience. "Sure."
"Okay, uh, did you want to come back in, or...?"
"Oh, sure. Yeah, I'll come in."
He once again helps me up and I slip off my sandals by the window since I won't be staying long. Turning around to face him, we're now standing toe to toe and my face reaches his chest—I didn't realize he'd gotten so damn tall.
I look up, he looks down and we just... stare.
What's he waiting for?
Should I make the first move?
After a second or two of internal debate, my hands lift to his arms, traveling to his chest as I keep my eyes trained on his. He takes the hint, finally inching closer until I can feel his soft, shallow breaths fan across my face. I close the gap between us, sliding my eyes closed as our timid lips meet for the first time.
His lips are soft, so soft and sweet and delicious against mine, our connection causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach before he backs away. I open my eyes and am met with his heated ones, the silence ballooning around us as his heart thrums wildly beneath my hand.
I want to kiss him again. I need to feel his lips, feel that electricity. Just one more time. I'm asking with my eyes, begging him to kiss me one more time.
He steps closer to me, until my less than impressive chest is flattened and molded against him. His shaky hand lifts to right his glasses before he slowly lowers it, hesitantly resting his palm on my hip. My body erupts into goose bumps at the contact and I realize that my breathing matches his—heavy and labored. His fingers clench, gently squeezing and I hold my breath as he leans down and places chaste, tender kisses on my lips once... twice... three times.
My arms wind around his neck to pull him closer to me, head spinning as he moans into my mouth and buries his hand in my hair. I feel euphoric, my toes curling and digging into the plush carpet, his fingers sinking into my skin, our tongues sliding, savoring and discovering.
I press myself closer to him, wanting to fuse our bodies together, feel him everywhere. My need becomes doubled when I feel him rapidly harden against my stomach and my fingers fist his hair tighter as I attempt to control myself.
I did that.
I made him hard.
This makes me incredibly horny.
He pulls away all too soon and I groan as he rests his forehead against mine, clenching his eyes closed.
"Sorry. I, uh... had to stop."
I don't know what to say to that because, honestly, I want to jump his bones. Right the fuck now. For some reason, thinking about his hard-on gets me really hot and bothered.
My cooch can't be depended on to answer the question and my brain isn't much better, so I just settle on a simple, "'Kay."
He takes a few steps away from me, covering his crotch with his hands. But they don't do much to hide the very noticeable bulge trying to karate chop its way out of those jeans.
"Um, I have homework and lots of things to do in the next thirty minutes, so..." Jasper's blushing as he turns his back to me, his face is lowered in an attempt to hide his reddening cheeks and his glasses are slowly slipping down his nose.
One look at him and my hormones quickly calm down, the horny fog finally lifting.
What the hell was that about? Just a minute ago I was seriously ready to lose my virginity where I stood, not giving a damn that Jasper's parents were in the next room. What had me so ready and willing? A kiss? I'd kissed guys before, but I had never felt like that. What's so different about him?
My eyes narrow. Is he a damn wizard or something?
Another look at Jasper and I lose my train if thought. He looks so broken—so embarrassed. I take a step toward him and he moves away, trying to keep his back to me.
"Jasper, it's okay." I walk around to face him and he averts his gaze, looking at the wall. "That's supposed to happen, remember?" I kiss his cheek and smile, pushing his glasses up for him.
Before he can say anything, I'm climbing down the lattice to head home.
What the fuck is going on?
After I cut Jasper out of my life like a supreme asshole, he still talks to me and holds no grudges. I kissed him and actually liked it—wanted more. A lot more. I'm going to have sex with him. Tonight.
This whole situation is beyond weird.
How in the hell did any of this happen?
I'm a nervous wreck when I leap into my window a few seconds later. In the shower, shaving my legs takes double the time it usually does because my hands are shaking like Jenna Jameson's vibrator. I take extra time scrubbing my nether regions because I refuse to lose my virginity feeling less than fresh.
Getting dressed, I decide to wear the one pair of lace underwear that I own since Jasper might appreciate the notoriously sexy fabric.
I wonder if there's something I'm missing. Should I shave my cooter? I think guys like that. Maybe I should rub on some smell-good lotion? Buff my feet? Paint my nails? What color? Red, maybe? Red is sexy, right?
I'm biting my nails as I look at the clock. Crap.
Jasper's already in his truck when I open the door to get in and we're now on our way to Cherry-Pop Land. We make small talk and catch up on old times, laughing at the dumb shit we used to do when we were kids.
But a funny thing happens. The closer we get to the lake, the less we talk. By the time we reach our destination, my nervous laughter has just barely died off. He puts the car in park and we're enveloped in dead silence.
"Sooo..." I fumble. "How 'bout them Yankees?"
"Good team. Good team." He wipes his palms on his jeans.
"Yep." I pop the "p" repeatedly.
"Um, can you turn on the radio?"
"Huh? Oh, sure. Yeah."
R. Kelly's "Bump & Grind" fills the small cabin. We both squirm uncomfortably in our seats. The irony is not lost on either of us.
"I, um, brought some blankets. And a pillow for your head for when... you know."
"Oh! Thanks!" It comes out louder and slightly higher pitched than I intended.
"Why are you yelling?"
"Sorry." My face is now fluorescent red.
He wipes the sweat from his brow. "So, I guess I'll get everything set up in the back and..."
"Yeah, sure. I'll... be right here." I chuckle nervously.
He topples out of the truck and curses under his breath when the door slams on his fingers.
"Are you okay?"
"Yep, yep, yep. Dandy." Now there's the voice I recognize.
He closes the door again— successfully this time— and my heart is racing when I realize that I'm now only a few minutes away from doing the deed.
Calm down, Bella. Stop being such a wreck.
I can't believe this is happening.
What will it feel like?
I should have Googled this shit.
Crap, crap, crap.
He opens the door and I yelp. I'm gonna have a stroke by the time this night is over.
"Oh, sorry. Um, everything is ready now, so..."
We settle into the blankets that Jasper swiped from his house, sinking into the softness. I swear he had to have stolen three thousand covers from his mom's hall closet. This pile is more comfortable than my damn bed.
Crickets are chirping, fireflies are twinkling and the radio is still playing. It's kind of romantic with the full moon and everything.
Jasper scoots closer to me and I feel his breath on my ear, slow and steady. The moisture of his tongue slides across my lobe before he starts sloppily lapping at my ear, slobbing at the cartilage. I quickly squirm away and wipe the droolage with my sleeve with a frown on my face.
"What are you doing?"
"Um, girls are supposed to like getting their ears licked."
"Says who?" That shit is gross.
Ugh, I should have known.
"The devil is a lie."
"Cosmo is the devil."
"Oh." He lowers his head. "Sorry."
"It's okay. You tried." And failed.
We both stare out at the lake for the duration of three songs, awkwardly fidgeting with our hair, fingers, clothes.
"Sooo, should we get naked or something?"
My eyes bug.
"Like... naked, naked?"
"I think that's what we're supposed to do, so clothes won't be in our way, I guess."
He takes off his shirt and I hesitantly follow, my collar getting caught on one of my hoop earrings.
After what seems like forever, we're both stark naked and lying stiffly side by side.
Oh, God, this is really happening.
Why am I wheezing?
He slowly rolls on top of me, his eyes piercing. "Do you... mind if I look at your boobs?"
My chest heaves with nerves as I take in a few gulps of air before answering. No one's ever seen them before.
His eyes travel down, down, until they rest on my chest and his mouth drops open.
Good wow or bad wow?
I want to cover myself up. I grip the cover on my sides to keep from hiding myself from him. He's supposed to look, right?
My boob is now in his hand and he's gently kneading it. "Whoa. Amazing."
Amazing is good.
His head dips down and he places a soft kiss on the tip of my nipple. Then the other. I grip the blanket tighter—for different reasons this time.
He looks at me, eyes wide and full of wonder. "I like boobs."
I smile at his cuteness. And as encouragement because I want his mouth on my nipples again.
"Um, I brought condoms for... the sex." The last two words are whispered as if having sex is a conspiracy or something.
He starts to get up, but I place a hand on his arm to stop him.
"Er, I'm on the pill. And since we're both virgins, I figured that we wouldn't... you know... um, need to use one."
"That—wow, that's great. I like that idea. I like that idea a whole lot."
His eyes roam down again and he's gawking at my boobs... again.
I want to tell him to either kiss them or stop staring, but I don't. My throat is suddenly constricted because I feel his peen against my thigh, only a few inches away from my womanly bits.
He shifts and I feel it between my legs.
Oh, my gosh!
How will it fit? He's gonna rip me in half.
"Um, are you ready?"
My eyes squeeze shut and I take in a shaky breath. "Yeah."
It's there, right there, gradually pushing into me.
Hmm, it's not that bad. Weird, but not bad.
I like big butts and I cannot lie,
You otha brothas can't deny.
When a girl walks in wit' a itty bitty waist and a round thing in yo' face, you get SPRUNG...
My eyes pop open. "Um... Jasper?"
He stops moving after barely entering me and opens his eyes, looking confused. "Huh?"
"Uh, this song. I just... I can't lose my virginity with "Baby Got Back"playing in the background."
His face contorts into a mixture of humor and horny impatience. "So, uh... you wanna wait for it to go off or something?"
"Or you could turn it off right now..."
"Bella, I really don't want to move right now. This is kinda phenomenal."
I'm tired of magazines, sayin' flat butts are the thing...
"Um... how much is in?"
"Huh? Oh, um," he looks down. "A little bit of the head is in."
You can do back bends or situps, but please don't lose that butt...
A little bit of the head?
I thought it was more than that!
Oh lord, I don't know if I can do this.
Perspiration starts building on my upper lip as my panic builds.
I look down to see if he was telling the truth because there has to be more in than that—but something catches my eye.
"Are you wearing socks?"
"You have to take them off, Jasper. I'm not losing my virginity to a guy who's completely naked except for his striped tube socks. It looks silly."
He wiggles a little bit, headbutts my chin and a boob because he doesn't want to pull out of me, and mumbles some hurried apologies. The damn socks are off and I breathe a sigh of relief because I don't know how much more headbutting I can take.
"Um, the song, it's off now. Can I—can we do the sex now?"
He whispers those words again and I would seriously laugh if I wasn't such damn basket case right now.
"Yeah, go ahead." He pushes in a little more and the stinging makes me a little hysterical. "WAIT!"
"Oh, shit, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He looks horrified.
"No. It's just... Jasper, I don't think you'll fit. You'll break my vagina."
"Bella." He chuckles. "I don't think vaginas can break. It will stretch and that'll probably be really uncomfortable, but it won't break, Scout's Honor."
I pout. "Don't laugh at me. And you were never a Boy Scou—"
His lips are on mine and my hands mindlessly migrate to his hair. All is forgotten as our mouths meet, his tongue swiping across my lip making my legs open further to accommodate him.
He pushes in more and hits my barrier. My fingers grip the hell out of his hair because it fucking hurts. I back away. He scoots with me and hits the barrier again. I back away again until my head hits the wall of the truck. I'm trapped.
I gasp. "Just... just do it."
"You sure?" His lips meet mine again, innocent and sweet.
"Yes. Yes, just go."
"Try to relax. Take a deep breath."
I take in a deep pull of air and it all whooshes out when he pushes all of the way inside of me.
"You okay?" He's breathless.
My nails are digging into his back as I attempt to get accustomed to this unfamiliar feeling. It's so weird and uncomfortable. It burns.
I wiggle a little, trying to lessen the pain. "I'm fine. Just move or something."
He does as I asked, moving slowly as he grunts in my ear. I don't know what to do, so I just lay here and watch his face.
He's concentrating so hard with his eyes shut tight and scrunched up nose. He looks adorable.
This is so different, him filling me and pulling out only to push inside again. It kind of feels good but I still don't get what all of the fuss is about. It's so uncomfortable and strange.
Jasper starts moving faster and harder and this feels kind of... really good. I moan and feel myself twitch around him.
"Oh fuck. If you do that again... I can't..."
I pull him closer, until our chests are pressed together, loving the way his weight feels on top of me. I open further and we both groan loudly when he slides in a bit deeper.
He starts pretty much jack hammering into me, which is kind of weird. But hot. It feels pretty damn great.
"Bella... Bella, I can't... ohhh... ohhh fuuuck!"
He's still now, his head nestled in the crook of my neck, his labored breath warming my skin.
What the...? Is that it?
Sex is so overrated
"Wow." He looks at me with a dopey grin on his face. "That was unbelievable." He fixes his glasses. "Uh, was it okay for you?"
"Um, I guess?"
He frowns. "It was too fast, wasn't it?"
"No... I don't know. It wasn't bad, I guess. I didn't know what to expect."
"I—can I make it up to you?... next time?"
Do I want there to be a next time?
As I look up at him, with his hopeful eyes shining behind those fogged up, Coke bottle glasses, I smile and realize that yes, I do want there to be a next time. And a next time after that.
I nod. "Yeah."
His face lights up. "Good."
He pulls out of me and it feels so... weird and stretched. And wet.Gross.
We lay in each other's arms, watching the stars and Jasper drums a few beats on my skin as the music plays.
I don't know how long we stay there in silence, but we eventually have to head home before we get caught. He holds my hand the entire ride home and walks me to my window, kissing me before I climb up to my room.
Like a Virgin is now blaring outside and I curse under my breath because I've been standing here for forty-five minutes and haven't accomplished anything but scratching the shit out of my skin.
Jasper better be ate the fuck up, too, damn it.
I can't believe I'm not a virgin any more. I don't regret it; it was actually kind of sweet, us throwing out our "V" cards together. I just wish he would have thought to bring citronella candles or something. Going to the lake was all his idea, after all. He should have thought of all this crap, covered all the bases.
It feels so different down there.
Like it's open now or something.
I hurry up and swipe on a little lip gloss before jogging downstairs. My rush to get to school has nothing to do with seeing Jasper.
Nothing at all.
This morning, my ears are violated by the talentless waste of life that is Ke$ha. The fact that she has an actual dollar sign in her name blatantly affirms just how much of a douchebag she really is.
Someone needs to punch her. Hopefully, in the near future, that someone will be me. Since that "Tick Tock" abomination, I'd say a little knuckle tap has been a long time coming for Miss Ke$ha.
"Ohmigod!" Alice squeals as soon as I buckle my seatbelt. "Isn't this like, the best song of all time? The lyrics are so true! Ke$ha is like, a genius!"
I don't have it in me to agree. Not only would it decimate the baby seal population, but it would also simultaneously kill fifty percent of the world's panda bears.
I simply smile. It's a little lackluster and a lot forced, but Alice doesn't notice. She never notices anything that doesn't have a peen or her reflection on it... but mostly peens, since she's made fucking them into a full-time job.
Thankfully, we reach the school before blood starts seeping from my ears. Honestly, I can't get out of this damn car fast enough.
Something strange happens throughout day. Every second, I'm constantly aware of Jasper's presence, when my pathetic ass had never even acknowledged his existence before. Whenever I attempt to sneak a glance at him, I catch him already staring at me. When I'm eating lunch and look up from my lunch table, our eyes lock. His shy smile and bashful wave make my stomach flip. After getting a hall pass to go to the ladies room, I pass by shop class and almost wet myself when I see Jasper in a muscle shirt, welding metal and biting his lip.
Jasper is consuming all of my thoughts and I don't know how to feel about that.
This is all so damn weird and my guilt is eating away at me. Cutting him off was such a shitty thing to do. And for what? I haven't gained any real friends besides Rose, I'm forced to be someone I'm not, I kill baby seals on a daily basis...
God, I suck.
"What are you staring at?"
I jump and clutch my chest, turning toward Lauren. "Uh, nothing. Just looking at the boys." I laugh lamely.
She pushes me out of the way and presses her nose into the narrow window on the door. "I don't see any boys, Bella. The only one in there is Jasper Whitlo—Ohmigod! Were you staring at that geekazoid freak?"
Shit, shit, shit.
"You were! You were staring at that loser!"
I want to deny it. I don't want to ruffle any feathers. I want to stay blending in, stay popular... but... I don't.
I don't really want those things.
I don't really need those things.
What's in it for me, besides constsntly feeling shitty about myself?
I'm tired of having baby seal blood on my hands.
"Yes." I cross my arms defensively. "I was looking at him."
"That's so effing gross—is that where you got that herpes rash all over your body? From that nerdzilla?"
I roll my eyes. "If there's anyone on Earth whose body would develop a new strain of the herpes virus, it would be yours, Lauren." She gapes at me, opening her mouth to speak but I beat her to it. "And you know what? I'm just a big a geek as he is. I like comic books and Star Trek and Twilight Zone. I watch SyFy and the History channel. I like reading about the universe and learning about Quantom Physics..."
Jasper opens the classroom door, poking his head out and interrupting my tirade, looking all cute and confused with smudges all over his shirt. "Bella, what's going on?"
I grab Jasper's arm and pull him to me, the force makes him stumble but I steady him with my lips, kissing him hard before I turn back to Lauren with a smirk on my face. "And I fucked him last night. I was a virgin."
Her face is comical—the speechlessness is expected. The girl's brain is most likely short circuiting from trying to work so hard.
All three of us are standing there, me with a look of defiance, Jasper and Lauren with looks of disbelief. None of us say anything. What is there to say? I've spoken my piece.
She finally decides to say something. "Well, you're both dumb."
I laugh at her. A loud, snort-fest.
Jasper turns his head in an attempt to hide his chuckle.
"Yeah, well, you're a slut."
I turn to him, mouth agape, and laugh even harder at his insult. "Nice!"
We high-five and Lauren huffs, stomping off.
We finally calm down, still staring at the spot that Lauren had just vacated.
"What was that?" Jasper breaks the silence.
"I don't know," I shrug. "An after-school special?"
The day passes pretty fast after that. Of course, word spreads like wildfire about my sexing up Jasper and I am now officially a social pariah. Oh, well. Fuck 'em.
During fifth period, while the popular kids were huddled around making fun of my lameness, Rose decided to join me in my rebellion.
She came out of the closet, loudly announcing that she was a lesbian. Emmett McCarty broke out in tears at the news.
Needless to say, everyone forgot about the unimportant, dorky duo and Rose was now the talk of the campus. She brushed off the hateful slurs like a pro, flipping her blonde locks as she batted those long lashes at every narrow-minded puppet that looked her way.
Since we had a few classes together, I even held her hand a few times while walking through the halls. That drove them nuts.
We laughed in their faces.
They scowled in ours.
When the last bell finally rings, I ignore the stares and whispers as I walk to Jasper's truck with my head held high. He looks surprised when he sees me headed his way.
And his eyes turn to saucers when I attack his lips, practically dry humping him in front of the entire school amidst a flurry of gasps and heated whispers.
When I pull away, he still looks stunned. "What are you doing?"
"Meh," I shrug. "I'm ready to be myself. I was tired of killing baby seals."
His brows knit. "Huh?"
I really don't feel like explaining it to him, so I decide to use a distracting tactic. "Nothing. My dad's not home. Wanna do it?"
Jasper's answering smile damn near breaks his face. "Yeah!"
He's so cute.
God, boys are easy.
Maybe I can use my feminine wiles to convince him into going to U-Dub with me. After all, we have to cover all of the fine print in the virginity pact— because I'm pretty sure something about "copious nipple licking" was mentioned in that thing...
Prompt: Bella and Jasper are in a pickup truck by a lake and somehow Baby Got Back is incorporated.