TITLE: She Likes Him Selfish
DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
A/N: A companion piece to He Likes Her Damaged, probably best read after that since I think it works better that way. All credit for the (highly inspirational) title goes to G o B – I was going nuts trying to think of one, so many thanks to her!
SHE LIKES HIM SELFISH
She likes him selfish, because selfish mercenaries take what they want. She likes the way his thoughts focus on everything around solely as factors affecting his gains, his desires. Likes the way he grouches, gripes and grumbles whenever something doesn't go his way.
She likes the strict definitions in his head; "my gun", "my food", "my hat". Always "mine". She likes the way he doesn't realise that his own definitions are fluid, changing things. From on ship ("my stuff") to off ship; "my crew", "my captain", "my people". She likes the way his selfishness collides angrily with his concepts of "my friend", "my doctor", "my mechanic".
She likes his self-centeredness when it comes to his body. All solid, dense weight; brick wall of a man. She likes his massive arms, the thick ropes of muscle binding him, likes the monster in the man. She likes the work outs, the dedication to self-preservation, the continuous maintenance of his best weapon – his body.
She likes the egotistical method of eating – grabbing as much as possible, wolfing it down, little or no regard to the plates of others unless there are leftovers. She likes his interactions with the crew, the burly older brother of the bunch, domineering and proudly self-interested.
She likes the way his eyes covet so fiercely – better food, better weapon, better women. Likes the way he can't rest until he has the more he is constantly searching for. Likes the way his eyes sometimes travel greedily over pale skin, strong legs and long hair. Likes the way the weapon is portrayed in his eyes, likes the sight of herself against the bloody backdrop as the crash doors open. She likes his greed, likes the way cashy money makes his eyes light up, likes the moments of idiocy they bring. They follow with enlightenment.
She hates his insecurity, deeply hidden and even more fervently denied. The fear of loss; loss of his money, of his things, of his crew, of his life. She hates the way it makes him stop and pause, hates the effect his newfound morals have on his psyche, hates the way he turns those coveting eyes to something lesser rather than face the music.
The mercenary of before would never hesitate, would never question, would only take. Trouble has come of this, the money was too good, he got stupid, but Ariel taught lessons, and she likes lessons. She hates the denial his insecurity permits him.
She hates it when he doubts, when he pauses, when he forbids himself.
She likes him selfish, because selfish mercenaries take what they want.
Damaged girls included.
A/N: Thanks for reading this little reflection, please review!