Tired Professors and History in the Making

Minerva rubbed her temples irritably as the teenagers bickering got too much. Along the table she could see many other professors looking particularly irritable – however Horace and Dumbledore seemed to be enjoying the show. Dumbledore turned his head slightly and winked, making Minerva scowl at him.

"…bloody prat! Why on earth would I ever think of saying yes to you?"

Lily Evans' voice was becoming annoyingly shrill.

"Oh, so you were thinking of saying yes, Evans?"

James Potter's voice was becoming obnoxiously loud.

Dumbledore chuckled. Minerva's left eyebrow twitched irritably.

Students were tiring at the best of times – even model ones like Lily Evans. At that moment, however, Minerva had just had to deal with a marriage proposal from Sirius Black, had to consult Gideon Prewitt that no, Fabian was not trying to steal his assignment for the order and had to deal with two bickering first years – one of whom had accused the other of stealing her boyfriend! Minerva scoffed as she thought about it.

Honestly.

Now, when she had been expecting a rather pleasant meal in which she could scold Albus for once again forgetting to do his paper work she was faced with the alarming prospect of listening to Evans and Potter argue for the whole evening.

It was simply not right to put so much pressure on one person.

"…bloody perfect Evans of course! When was the last time you so much as ate with your mouth open?" James snapped viciously and Lily quickly bypassed red and turned maroon.

"Coming from you!" She hissed back, wand out. Jabbing it harshly into Potter's chest she scowled. "Quidditch captain, unrightfully Head Boy, Mr Popularity –"

Minerva looked over to Dumbledore who was watching the scene with a twinkle in his eyes and decided to take responsibility.

She had to be the only one who did take responsibility in that nut place they called school.

Standing up, she cleared her throat. Lily and James payed no mind and continued swapping insults.

"…arrogant…"

"…prude…"

"…bloody git!"

"…stupid perfect Lily Evans!"

Minerva sighed wearily and flicked her wand sharply, rendering the two speechless. Those who were still watching the pair fight turned towards McGonagall.

"Please," Minerva felt smugly satisfied as in unison the student body gulped. "I am trying to eat my tea and I do not need a live show of two teenagers; one who's clearly in denial, and the other who is clearly rather pathetic."

Sirius Black's jaw dropped and Minerva realized what she had just said. Sirius, almost instinctively causing mischief, waved his wand and the silencing spell was released. Minerva was so shocked at herself she didn't even glare at him.

Turning her head so she could see Dumbledore quite clearly, Minerva thought viciously: you stupid old codger. This is your entire fault.

Dumbledore smiled vaguely.

Lily's voice seemed tiny as she spoke to Minevera hesitantly. "Bu-But I mean, Professor…I'm not in denial."

"And I'm not pathetic," James cut in quickly.

The school turned to look at him incredulously.

"No, you're very pathetic," Sirius cut in. Lily nodded.

James glared at the two of them before saying smugly: "Well, you're in denial, Evans!"

Lily glared back. "No I'm not." Not bothering to look at Minerva she commented sharply, "I'm not, Professor."

"She is, isn't she Minnie?"

Minerva's jaw clenched at the hated nickname.

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"No, I'm not!"

Minerva sighed as both of her Gryffindor students aimed their wands at each other, perhaps foolish enough to think that they could have a duel in the Great Hall without the professors noticing. However, Minerva just suspected they had been blinded with rage.

Dumbledore commented to the tired Transfiguration teacher benignly, "Go on, Minerva." Smiling at the rest of the teachers he said cheerfully, "I feel that history is going to take place, right in this very hall."

Slughorn beamed down at Lily and James. Sprout and Pomfrey scowled at one another, still bitter over the row that they had had last week concerning the Hospital Wings necessity of several plants that Sprout was not willing to give away. Flictwick muttered to himself about lack of respect, as their DADA professor watched the scene with confusion.

"You are!"

"I'm not!"

"You-"

"POTTER! EVANS! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR IN MY WHOLE LIFE!" Minerva exploded, aiming to scare them into silence. She had added a bit too much enthusiasm into her speech. The Great Hall was motionless. Sighing slightly, Minerva added, "Now, out with it. Say every bad thing to each other you can think of."

Although later she would wonder what on earth had possessed her to say that at the time she reasoned that perhaps if they got all their anger out that night then they would be quiet enough for the night (maybe even the whole week) and would let her eat her dinner in peace.

More jaws than Sirius Black's dropped this time – James and Lily's included.

"Go on then," Minerva ushered, more insistently.

There was silence before Lily finally exploded. "I hate the way you're so immature!"

James snorted. "I've matured Lily."

Minerva had to give him that; he had. Sirius looked highly scandalized, although this was surely not the first time James' maturity had been bought up.

Lily huffed and blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. "I hate how you call me Lily."

"I hate how you call me Potter," James countered, smirking.

"I hate how you're so arrogant and egoistical."

"I hate how you're so prude like."

"I hate how you drive me insane when you ask me out."

"I hate how you say no."

Heads were whipping back and forth watching the two trade 'hates' as if at a Muggle tennis match.

"I hate how you make me want to scream."

"I hate how you do scream at me."

"I hate how you stopped constantly bugging me for my attention!" Lily cried, working herself up into a rant.

James – and the rest of the Hogwarts population – looked startled. "Wh-What?" He floundered.

Minerva rubbed her temples again and looked pityingly at James. Lily was bound to be rather frazzling at times.

Lily ignored the confused looks. "I hate how you make me over analyse ever thing you do! Did James mean this or this? Was it flirty or friendly? I hate how you make me question everything! I hate how you make me treasure every scrap of attention I get from you! I hate how you distract me from my work because I'm too busy staring at you! I hate how I bloody well love you!"

Lily breathed heavily and appeared to be quite relieved to have gotten that off her chest before she realized the rather stunned silence that had echoed through the hall. Minerva placed a hand to her heart in shock and James looked wide eyed at Lily.

"Do you mean it?"

Lily looked shocked at herself. "Sorry, just forget about me…honestly…mentally unstable…"

As she turned to run away no doubt, James caught her arm and pulled her back to him, so close their noses were almost touching.

"Lily bloody Evans, did you mean it?" He said fiercely. Their breaths were mingling together. Minerva watched with an inkling of surprise.

Lily sighed, not bothering to move away from James. Her shoulder slumped in defeat. "Yes," she whispered.

As James' arm slunk around Lily's waist and their lips met together Minerva thought she had done a rather fantastic job for such a terrible day.

But that didn't prevent her from giving James and Lily three detentions each and deducting points for PDA, disturbing the peace, publicly yelling and using magic outside classes.

At least she assigned their detentions together.


A/N: Under the influence of lack-of-sleep. Please do not blame me for the disastrous outcome.