Akatsuki in Fanfiction

Author: Mishil

Type: Humour

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…

Warning: The characters are out of characters…


One fine day when the Akatsuki were having a little break, until Deidara clicked the site… What would be their reaction to this?

It was summer, the sun was shining warmly outside, the birds were chirping, the weather was wonderful. After all, it had been a pretty good year, and therefore everyone was enjoying themselves as much as they can, as often as they can. They might be called murderers, sociopaths, psychopaths, or whatever 'goodly good' ninjas called them, especially the ones who lived in the Leaf village…

Akatsuki's new hideout was nice to live in than the previous ones they have had. They have now a luxurious daimyo's traditional Japanese mansion for hideout… According to their leader, having caves, dungeons and old temples were not considered 'home' and having mansion was for their own goodwill. Currently, they were taking a short break for their odd jobs. Therefore, everyone was inside.

The sun was already in its high peak when Deidara's head was pounding as he slowly started to wake up. Feeling nauseated and terrible headache he felt in the good gracious afternoon. Deidara swear to himself that he would never ever drink liquor that Hidan had given to him.

After taking medications for nausea, Deidara decided to open his laptop and browse for new information regarding their enemies. He opened up Google Chrome and typed Naruto into the search engine, a few quick clicks and here it was! The search engines brought allot of information, but a certain result had picked his curiosity, he opened the tab named fanfiction.

"Fanfiction, hmm." After minutes of discovering what might this site, his jaw dropped when he saw his teammates name paired with everyone, and even himself. "What the hell is this? I am paired-up with some pink haired slut! In addition, even with Sasori-danna! Hmm."

"Sakura, I love you and I don't care if I betrayed Akatsuki, hmm." He said. "Deidara, I love you too, but Akatsuki was the only one where can we live together..." DeiSaku, please review! Lemon and limes content.

After reading the passage, Deidara felt that the medicine wasn't working at all, he even felt more nauseous than earlier. Betraying Akatsuki? He was not a sappy romanticist. He decided to tell this to their leader. As he walked down the hall, he saw Uchiha Itachi meditating at his own room. 'Tch, what a boring yogi guy, hmm.'

He found their Leader, Pein at the rooftop. He was staring off and as usual, thinking many things regarding the rotten ninja world. What a busy buddy their leader was.

Pein could not believe what he read. He was a God for goodness sake and how their enemies made up this? On the other hand, weren't they afraid how mighty and powerful the organization called Akatsuki was? All of sudden, a thought came up to him; they have many stalkers! Stalkers for goodness sake! Akatsuki has stalker- err, spies…

"Gather at the assembly room! Right now!" Pein said as he used his communication technique to his members.

Pein stared at his members in front of him. They were the people who have been stalked or should he say, spied and he feared for their safety. It seemed as if that were more or less stalking them. In fact, these people knew so much about them they had to be stalkers. No, scratch that. They were just sick-minded people. Nonetheless, the issue was downright scary, and he felt his members should know.

"What is it? I am giving my offer to Jashin-sama!" Hidan cursed his unlucky day. Fresh blood still all over to his body.

"Yes, Leader! Deidara-senpai suddenly dragged me out while I am surfing on Facebook. What would be so important calling us out in our lunch break?" asked Tobi.

"It is certainly important." Answered Pein. "It is about our safety."

"Huh?" asked Kakuzu.

"Well, Deidara came across a website this afternoon."

"And so, website won't even lay fingers on us?" added by Kisame.

"Well, it seems like we all have stalkers. It's kind of hard to explain. I think I should show you instead." Pein said, pulling out his laptop. Everyone gathered around as he opened up Firefox and typed "fanfiction .net" into the address bar.

"How is this so bad?" asked calmly by Itachi. "It's just a bunch of stories. How bad can they- wait! Is that…me?" Itachi asked as he pointed to the first story's description.

"Sasori-danna you're in this too." Deidara said and Sasori stopped from walking out.

"What is this?" Itachi continued, reading the description. It reads:

Itachi lay Sakura down onto his bed. They can feel each other's love. A passionate love that both of them felt those times… Their eyes met, and Itachi leaned down, giving Sakura a passionate kiss.

There was an awkward silence that befell upon them and no one tried to speak when they felt Itachi's chakra. In addition, his murderous aura.

"Itachi-senpai! I didn't know that you slept with Haruno Sakura, and there was also ItachixSasuke, an Uchiha incest as it said!" Tobi break the deafening silence.

"Hey, are they making millions with this?" Kakuzu asked. He was starting to calculate his awaiting money.

"Madara? As in Uchiha Madara? Hmm, hey Uchiha, I think you're ancient relative wasn't an exemption either, hmm." Deidara said and open the stories…

Itachi smirked and a good idea came to his genius mind. "If you don't mind would you read it out loud?" he asked and took a glance at Tobi whose posture has stiffened.

"What a pain in ass, hmm." Deidara muttered and read it. In addition, most of the members were laughing at the stories. When he was in middle, a certain voice startled them.

"That's enough!" Madara said and everyone was staring at him. "I- I mean, that's enough it is hilarious, Deidara-senpai, ahaha…!" he changed his voice again.

"The thing is, I, the leader of the Akatsuki wasn't able to escape with this." Pein explained and he looked at his childhood friend, at the same time, his partner, Konan.

Konan, who had been standing in the corner quickly turned beet red while Pein stared blankly at the screen. The story entitled 'Love and Fate'

It was their special day in their life and their feelings seems more mystic… A love that last…

Konan was too embarrassed to do anything and she frozen in her spot. She shuddered violently, and after about a minute dashed quickly out of the room. Pein just kept blinking.

"Hey! There are also ItachixKisame, HidanxKakuzu, SasukexNaruto? What is this, are the Akatsuki members turning into gays, hmm?" Deidara said.

"I hope that I wasn't paired with that pink haired brat…" Sasori muttered to himself but Deidara answered him and show some stories about the said kunoichi.

"I didn't know that you have a romantic side, Sasori-danna, hmm." Deidara said and continued his browsing, until Kakuzu opened his own laptop and browsed at the same page.

"It was a good thing that I have nothing to do with this romance." Zetsu said. However, his other side was annoyed because they were the one who really found out about that fanfiction thing and Deidara took the credit. He thought that blonde was a delicious supper; it was Friday at the same time, FRY-DEI… His majestic plan made him chuckled.

"Hey, look at this one, it's…" Kakuzu said. And his sweat dropped at the ridiculous pairing he had ever seen, Akatsuki and the bijuus. What happened to the world they are living?

"Orochimaru and Sasuke?" everyone said aloud when they saw Deidara's screen.

"Let's not go there," said Itachi and automatically he activated his Mangekyou Sharingan. That was too much for him to handle, as he the loving older brother couldn't take that kind of humiliation for his beloved brother.

"I disagree." Deidara replied and smirked at the stubborn Uchiha. He read it loudly enough for them to hear.

After reading the passage, all of the Akatsuki members felt nauseated and they cannot imagine it. Pein quickly turned off his laptop, and everyone left silently.

The Akatsuki members avoided each other for the rest of the day. Moreover, some of the members had started to have nightmares. Especially Deidara and Itachi. Even the great Uchiha Madara ordered Pein to hunt all the stalkers… Even if they take years or even decades to search them all…

Madara just cannot fathom what he read earlier, he was paired-up with Sasuke, Itachi, Haruno Sakura and even Orochimaru, for goodness sake. What happened to the world he was trying to take over? People in his era were insane...

Finished (10/28/10)

Author's Note:

I am not definitely bashing Sakura or any SakuraxAkatsuki pairings... This is only for entertainment purposes only…

I made this story inspired by Zhulia's "The Discovery". No plagiarism occurred.

All rights reserved.

Reviews are appreciated… It makes my day. :D