It made absolutely no sense to put this in two chapters but I did... ain't nothing you can do about it!
The house after the old woman was set a bit in the woods. At first Gaara was going to skip over it… he never liked the forest and he surely didn't like the pervert that lived in the house though his lover was a bit nice. 'I really want that candy…' the clown-ish dressed boy thought before walking towards the house.
Gaara took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It was silent for a moment then there was a knock from the inside. Confused, Gaara knocked again. Instead of a knock, the door swung open.
"Come on in!" a cheerful, creepy voice ordered.
"Fuck that!" Gaara responded, turning around and dashing away. He didn't make it very far before a hand caught the back of his shirt and pulled him back to towards the house. Gaara dropped his candy bag and ripped away from the pervert, swinging his bat as hard as he could.
The metal met some part of the man's stomach as he went down with a grunt. Gaara began to beat the man as hard as he could, making sure that pervert knew not to fuck with him ever again.
"Hey, hey! What are you doing!" a voice demanded. Gaara looked up to see Iruka, the pervert's lover and the nicest man on this entire block. The redhead stopped beating on Kakashi and said an apology to Iruka.
"He told me to come in the house and he grabbed me when I tried to leave!" Gaara justified. He looked down at the man who was smiling up at him as if he hadn't just got beaten with a metal bat. Iruka sighed and looked down at his lover with a disappointed frown on his face.
"I'm sorry about that… here you go. Candy," Iruka smiled, finding Gaara's bag and placing about two fists full of candy into it. Gaara thanked the man and watched Kakashi be dragged off by his hair, loudly complaining about how he wasn't going to do anything.
"Why do we have to live in the one town with these weirdos!" Gaara grumbled, stomping away. He wondered how his brother was doing.
Naruto wasn't doing too good. After the fat woman, he stopped at Sakura's house and she was the cutest girl and she always had a boyfriend. Actually, Sakura was a bit of a whore and everyone knew it. She had told him to drop his pants and she'd give him something…
That something was a flick in the balls! So, now he was hobbling and grumbling to the next house, just waiting for the worst. He frowned when he noticed the hearse standing in the drive-way.
"Not another dead body, not another dead body…" Naruto prayed and hoped. Gulping, the blond knocked on the white door and whispered, "Is anybody home?"
To his surprise, the door opened to reveal a really old man with no teeth and tanned skin. He smiled at Naruto and said, "Of course little child! Now, have a sugar coated kidney stone." He dropped a sugar coated kidney stone in Naruto's bag.
Then he closed the door in Naruto's face. The blond didn't comment and just ran onto the next house.
The next house that Gaara was going to was through a field. He had no idea how this one house had a field while the others were barren. Hell, when he was about ten or so, he had tried to make a garden or even weeds but nothing grew. The redhead shook the thoughts out of his head and realized that friendly little Hinata was standing on the porch.
She was about two years older than him and very shy but she was the nicest person—Hell, Iruka didn't even have anything on her. If there was someone that needed another person to talk to, Hinata would be the first one. The girl was standing there in her cooking bib which was always a good sign.
"… How about some candy?" Gaara asked, holding out his bag. Hinata smiled and shook her head. She held out what looked like freshly made bread. The redhead tilted his head and watched as she dropped it in his sack. It wasn't that bad considering the shitty things he had gotten from other people last year.
"How about, instead, a nice hot, fresh loaf of yeast infection bread?" her eyes were looking a bit larger than usual.
Gaara turned green around the edges and rushed away from the woman's house, more than slightly disgusted.
Naruto's bag was getting heavy so he sat on the curb. The last house he was at gave him cereal in a plastic baggie and corn on the cob… well it was more like the cob with half the corn eaten from it. The blond looked up to see his brother rushing from Hinata's house 'Lucky son of a bitch. She probably gave him loads of candy!' he thought bitterly.
"Hey, Lee, are you sure we should be here?" a voice asked cautiously. Naruto picked up his head to see two kids riding on their bikes. These kids were most definitely not Suna street kids and they really shouldn't be on such a dangerous block.
"Oh, Kiba-san—youth is everywhere so we shall trick-or-treat here!" a weirdo with black hair in a bowl cut and an odd, green jumpsuit on shouted. Naruto smiled mischievously and looked across the street to see his brother nodding to him. The blond nodded and hid slightly in the dark. "Let's split up, shall we?"
The kid named Kiba was on his side of the street while Lee went on Gaara's side. 'Too easy,' Naruto thought as he ran forward and tackled the wild haired brunette dressed as a dog off his seat. The kid gave out a loud yelp and he heard the Lee-kid scream too. Naruto snatched away the kid's bag filled with candy and delivered a swift kick to the boy's stomach before taking off to the next house, whistling happily.
Gaara smiled to himself. His bag of candy… well, whatever was actually candy, had tripled in size! And he got to beat up a tall, greenly dressed kid around his age or older! All's well that ends well. He wasn't even worried about what the next scary prize would consist of. The pale redhead knocked on the door harshly before shouting in a rather cheerful voice,
"Trick or treat, trick, treat, tricky dick!" he had no idea what it meant but he felt like saying it. The door immediately opened just so a hand could come out and flick him on the lips before slamming the door in his face.
"This fucker didn't give me shit," Gaara hissed angrily. He put his bat through the guy's window and ran swiftly to the next house.
Naruto was at the huge Uchiha mansion (his friend Sasuke lived here). He couldn't be any happier though he always wondered why a rich family would build a mansion on such a shitty street. That didn't matter because he was going to get the best candy from this house!
"Hello?" Naruto called out as he rang the doorbell. The door was yanked out and there stood an extremely tall, grumpy looking man in a suit. He had the oddest, scariest eyes in the world and his mouth looked like it was sewn on. He was a bit tanned and looked almost like a zombie. 'Less Lurch looking motherfucker,' Naruto found himself thinking. He had never seen this particular butler.
"Trick… or treat?" Naruto asked, holding out his bag. The man grunted and reached in his pocket. Naruto wasn't sure but he thought that the man hurt his back because he paused for a long moment. Naruto tilted his head as he continued to hold his sack out and the man continued to just stand there.
"It's taking him an hour," Naruto muttered under his breath, "My bag is open and fucking ready…" Then the man seemed to find what he was looking for. He dropped it in Naruto's sack… a fucking penny!
"Are you kidding me!" Naruto burst out before kicking the man in the shin and running swiftly away.
Gaara wasn't sure but he thought that the house he was standing near was abandoned. He had never seen anyone live in the broken down thing. He should just forget it and—
There was a shuffle somewhere in the dark house. 'You cannot hide from the awesome Gaara!' the redhead thought to himself, cackling and knocking on the door at the same time.
"Trick or treat!" Gaara said loudly. A man tumbled out looking dangerous and thin. He was obviously a crack head… the redhead had seen him at the school a couple of times buying from a known drug dealer (Shino).
"Hahadoh!" the crack head shouted before falling into Gaara's bag and dying instantly. 'Okay…' Gaara thought, wincing before pushing the man out of his bag and continuing to the last house on the black.
The last house on the block was thankfully theirs. Naruto darted across the street to his brother who smiled slightly at him, holding up his bag filled with candy and… other shit. Gaara squinted his eyes. There was his mother-figure (Shukaku)… sitting on the porch… with a pistol in his hand. And, judging by the blood stain on the ground, someone was foolish enough to approach Shukaku.
"Back yard?" Gaara stated casually. Naruto nodded only to put an arm on Gaara chest in the next second. The redhead raised an eyebrow before looking up. Trained on his forehead was a red dot… sniper gun.
"Roof?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah…" Gaara climbed on the roof with his brother Naruto before smiling slightly. He truly hated Halloween on their block—danger and death all around but… it was a bit fun with all the thrill and disgusting stuff they received. His older brother smiled at him, thinking the same thing. Naruto threw an arm around his Gaara's shoulder and they both tilted their heads upwards.
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND DEMON LOVE TO THE CITY!" they yelled just as a car blew up down the street and a house set on fire. They were sure they could hear wolves cry to the full moon and Shukaku cackle evilly.
OMG! That was the hardest thing ever… the last shout, I don't really know what the Hell it means but that was the last lyric of the song… which I still don't own.
What I wasn't trying to make fun of: people getting hurt during Halloween, fires, drug addicts, and razors in candy bars
Things I was trying to make fun of: I don't have the answer for that. So… erm… just comment on the damn thing. Please don't put down my efforts on humor. The character bashing wasn't really character bashing—just wrong name at the wrong time.