I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer. I will still not own twilight or make any money off this story in any chapters to come so please note this disclaimer for this work in its entirety.
This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.
This was my very first fanfiction story. It has been edited and lightly revised to fix a few minor issues.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO LEAVE REVIEWS J
I hugged my mother tightly, I would miss her but this was the right choice. I needed to go, I needed to start fresh somewhere. I needed more than she could give me. Our roles had always been reversed, I the mother and she the irresponsible daughter but I was broken now, I couldn't take care of her, I needed to take care of myself and she had Phil now. He would take care of her. With this thought I hugged my stepfather, he was a good man, he loved her and would be sure she was happy but he couldn't help me. Hell he was younger than my mother and had no kids of his own, he didn't know how to be a parent and yet he was one, perhaps more than my mother who was more friend than parent. It was because of him I was now boarding a plane to fly to Forks to live with my father. It was an idea my mother had rejected at first until Phil had spoken to her. Late one night I had run into him in the kitchen, neither of us having been able to sleep.
"You alright Bella?" he asked concerned as he handed me the chocolate milk.
"Sure." I shrugged.
He hesitated but continued, "I think you and your mom will like Jacksonville."
I sighed, "its not about moving Phil."
"You know I don't know anything about being a parent, but I care about you kid. You know I want you with Renee and I don't you?"
I looked up at him surprised; did he think I didn't like him? "I know Phil, and I don't exactly need a parent but you are pretty good at this father thing." I tried to reassure him, the idea to leave them wasn't about him, it was me, and a little bit her, "Mom misses you when you're gone."
"She'll miss you more."
"Maybe" I shrugged, its not that I ever doubted my mothers love for me, just that I knew how much she loved him.
Phil was quiet for a minute but I could tell he had more to say so I leaned on the stool and waited for him to continue.
"You haven't been happy Bella."
"Its not you Phil. I'm glad she found you."
"But it's something."
"It might be better in Jacksonville, having a fresh start."
"Its not enough." I wanted to tell him I didn't feel safe, that I was lost inside myself and needed to leave everything. It was selfish; I wanted to separate myself from everyone and everything I knew, to start fresh, to be free. How could I tell him I loved them and I knew they loved me but that it was suffocating me?
"You really need this."
It was more a statement then a question but I nodded any ways, it was only later I realized he said needed and not wanted. He understood, I didn't want to leave my mother, to leave the warmth and sun for the cold, grey rain, I didn't want to feel like this, but I did and so I needed this.
The next afternoon my mother came to tell me she had called Charlie and talked to him about my living there. He had been thrilled. My mother hugged me to her and cried but we didn't say anything else about it. Not then and not since, at least not until today.
Today she asked me a thousand times, was I sure I wanted to do this? Telling me over and over I didn't have to, that she and Phil wanted me with them. I hugged her to me and lied, telling her I wanted this. Phil said nothing. He hugged me and handed me a credit card and a cell phone, told me he loved me. I told him the same. He knew I didn't want this, I needed it, he understood so he comforted my mother and said nothing more.
I hugged them both again before going through security and boarding the plane. I closed my eyes and listened to my iPod the whole way, trying hard not to think. When we landed in Seattle I had to change planes to go on to Port Angeles where my father was to pick me up. It had been a long time since I had seen him, longer still since I had spent any amount of time with him.
He looked the same as I remembered. He was tall, broad shouldered, thick brown hair and a trimmed mustache. He smiled as soon as he saw me and pulled me into a hug before quickly pulling back and taking my bag.
He asked about my flight but little else. He was a quiet man, he felt no need to fill every silence and for that I was grateful. I knew he had questions about why I was there, why now, I supposed he believed it was to give my mom and Phil time to themselves, whatever the reason I was glad he didn't ask, didn't pry into my life at all, at least not to anything below the surface.
When we arrived I noticed an old truck in the drive. "Had Charlie finally bought a car other than the cruiser, if so why did he use it to pick me up? Or did he have guests? Did Charlie have a girlfriend? I realized then how little I really knew about my father.
"It's old I know, but it runs good." Charlie motioned to the truck as he went to the back to get my bag from the trunk.
"It's a nice truck." I told him taking my carry on and heading up to the house.
"Yeah well I knew you'd need something to get around in so when Billy said he'd sell it to me cheap I figured it'd make a good homecoming gift." His voice was gruff and he didn't look at me when he spoke. I shot a look to him and back to the truck.
"Its for me?"
"Yeah." Charlie shrugged and passed me into the house.
"Thank you." I told him as I followed him in and up to my room.
"Thought we'd go to the diner for dinner later if you aren't to tired." Charlie said after setting my suitcase in my room.
"That sounds good." I smiled at him.
"Ok, well come down when you are ready to." With that he left. I was grateful he didn't hover.
I spent the next few days getting settled. I was sure Charlie and I would get on well. We were both quiet and independent. It was easy to settle into a routine together. Finally it was Monday and I was going to start school. Great. Note the sarcasm. New school in the middle of the last semester of the year, not just any year but senior year, this was not going to be fun.
I rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a black tank edged in lace and a grey zippered hoody, then I ran a brush through my long brown hair and slipped into my black converse. Charlie had already left for work so I just grabbed a pop tart and headed out to my truck.
The school was down the highway a short ways a way. The parking lot was still empty when I arrived. I pulled into a spot and went to the office to get my schedule, grateful that years of extra summer programs had put me ahead and I needed few credits to graduate so my semester was light. AP English, History, Art, Biology and PE. Stupid Forks, why on earth was phys ed. mandatory every year, I hated sports and worse, they hated me, my coordination was nonexistent I mean I could fall over nothing walking down a straight, even road ask me to run and pay attention to a ball, that shit just wasn't happening.
By the time I left with my schedule the school was teaming with people, all of who stared as I walked by.
"Hi, I'm Erik. You must be Isabella." The boy sounded overly helpful and nice, sort of nerdy but not shy, chess club type nerdy, more like the semi-popular, nice to everyone always happy type.
"Bella." I said, smiling back at him.
"What class do you have?"
"Sweet, me too. Come on I'll walk you in I just need to toss this in my locker." He said holding up his bag.
The day went by fast, much more so than I thought it would. I even made a few friends. Angela was the one I liked the best, she seemed the most genuine and nice. Asides from her and Erik there was Jessica who was a little fake, one of those bubbly, gossipy cheerleader types, Lauren was her best friend, she was more bitchy gossipy cheerleader type. Tyler was a typical jock but a total laugh and then there was his best friend Mike Newton who was overly friendly but not in the sweet just trying to be helpful and nice way Erik was, he was more flirty and pushy in a shy eager puppy type way.
I had at least one of them in all my classes so we sat together in class and at lunch, by the end of the day I was comfortable with all of them, by the end of the week, which went as surprisingly fast as the first day, I thought of them as friends. We had even made plans to hang out and go to a bonfire on Saturday.
Friday night I was going to dinner at Billy Blacks, Charlie's best friend. Apparently I used to play with his kids. Both his daughters had gone away to school and one of them married but his son still lived in La Push. I vaguely remembered the girls from summers past. Mostly I remembered playing with Jake, he was a small scrawny kid, quick to smile, who his sisters teased mercilessly. We made mud pies and sand castles together. He had been my closest if not my only friend here as a kid.
After school I went home and made cookies to bring to the Black's while I did my homework and waited for Charlie. He came in at quarter to six calling out as he went up to change that we were leaving in five minutes. I closed my books and started putting the cookies in a Tupperware.
The drive to La Push was quicker then I thought, the small red house pulled at my memories. The front door had opened and a man sat in a wheel chair waiting for us.
"Bells you remember Billy." Charlie said as we mounted the steps of the porch.
"Sure, yeah, how are you Billy?"
"Good Bella. How are you? Settling in ok? Your dad was so excited you were coming out."
"Yeah, everything is good." I told him following him inside.
"You remember Jake." I had followed him inside at this point so I looked up to see Jake standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"Oh my god, you are so different." I let my eyes wander over Jake, long gone was the scrawny kid I remembered. This Jake was huge. He had to be over six foot and was all muscle.
Jake laughed, "You too."
"Yeah I guess." I laughed; of course we had changed it had been years since I had been here. "How old are you now?"
"Seventeen, you turned eighteen this year right?"
"Yeah, back in September."
"Cool, cool." He was eyeing the container in my hands now. "Did you make something?"
"Oh I just made up a batch of cookies real quick, nothing special."
"Cookies, yum." Jake reached over and took the tub leading the way into the kitchen. After we all ate, Jake and I sat and talked while the two old timers sat in the living room and watched whatever game was on. He was easy to be around, like our friendship had never wavered over the years even though it had been so long since we had been together or even talked.
I hugged him as we left later, grateful to have my friend back.
"Um so Bells, we are having a bonfire at first beach tomorrow if you want to hang out?" Jake asked as we headed out.
I grinned at him, "I know some of the kids from my school are going and invited me along. I take it I will see you there?"
"Yeah" he grinned back at me. "Come over early if you want."
"Thanks Jake. I'll see you tomorrow." I waved and got in the cruiser next to Charlie.
The next day I got up early and did the laundry and some cleaning before finishing my homework. After lunch I went to Mike's place to watch a movie with everyone and hang out before heading to the beach. We stopped at the diner to eat and finally drove out to the reservation. I looked around for Jacob when we got there but he was nowhere in sight, I thought about walking over to his place but decided to go with the others to see the tide pools before it got dark instead.
When we got back the fire had started. I saw Jake standing with some people so excused myself and went over, hugging him from behind. "Hey Jake."
"Hey Bells." Jake pulled away and turned around only to pull me into a bear hug that nearly cracked my ribs.
"Jake. Need. Air." He set me down laughing.
"Sure, sure." I laughed with him.
"Hi," I smiled over at the group standing with Jake.
"This is Bella Swan." He told them, his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders. I realized how warm Jake was, he just seemed to be radiating heat.
"These are the guys, that's Sam, Jared, his girl Kim, Leah, her brother Seth, Quil and Embry."
I looked over to who he was pointing to and met the darkest pools of liquid chocolate eyes, I felt like I was drowning in their warm depths and suddenly felt the urge to step forward, closer to him, like his eyes were drawing me forwards a moth to a flame. As soon as I felt the urge I stamped it down and forced myself to look away to the others Jake was introducing. Mentally cursing myself to my reaction and refusing to meet any of the others eyes.
"Hi" Quil raised his eyebrows slightly in a flirtatious manner, making me blush and look away, when Jake got to him. I quickly scanned them all again avoiding looking at the first, Sam. Like Jake they were all really tan and fit. I'd bet under their fitted shirts they all had eight packs. Down Bella, do not start drooling over Jake's friends. I looked at Kim and Leah. Kim was really pretty with longish black hair and big eyes; she was curled into Jared, their arms around each other. Leah was beautiful, tall and lithe with cropped straight black hair and high cheekbones she looked regal and exotic and hella intimidating with her angry scowl.
"How do you like living here?" Kim asked smiling at me.
"It's alright. Colder than I'm used to but everyone is really nice." I told her smiling back she seemed genuinely nice.
"Hey dude, you're late!" One of the guys suddenly called out. Embry I thought.
"Whatever." The guy shrugged as he and a third girl joined the circle.
"This is Paul and his girl Emily." Jake told me before turning to them, "This is Bella. Chief Swans daughter." He told them.
Paul was good looking, as they all seemed to be, tall and muscular, I mean really what was in the water down here? The woman at his side was petite, shorter even than Kim and I; the top of her head was just under his shoulder. She had soft features and a sweet smile with long straight hair falling around her She was easily the prettiest except for three parallel scars running down the side of her face.
Paul glared at me when Jake introduced us and leaned down to kiss one of the scars.
Emily sighed happily before focusing on me, "Its nice to meet you Bella. Jake told us you were coming. How are you finding the move?"
"Good. I started school on Monday and made some friends so I'm pretty well settled in. And now I have Jake again so it all feels a little less foreign."
I felt Jake's arm tighten around my shoulder and smiled up at him. He was grinning back happily.
"Hey Bella!" I heard someone calling my name and turned to see Tyler waving me over.
"I better get back to the others. It was nice meeting all of you." I told them turning back to Jake, "Come find me later ok? Charlie wants me to stay with you and Billy instead of driving back tonight."
"Sure, sure." He let his arm fall from around my shoulders and I walked around the bonfire towards the gang from Forks. I felt a pang of sadness and looked back to Jake and his friends. Jake was heading towards the cliff with one of the guys, the others were laughing amongst themselves.
I pushed away the odd feeling and hurried towards my circle of friends. We sat and talked for a while, laughing. A few people had already gone home and others were hinting of going when Jake came over.
"Hey Bells. You ready to head out?"
"Yeah." I let him help me to my feet and said my goodbyes to the others as they to got up to leave. While we walked Jake was quiet, I couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him.
"What's up Jake?"
"Huh. Oh nothing Bells." Jake shrugged and continued walking, so I grabbed his arm to still him.
"Jake? Tell me what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong Bells. Everything is great actually."
"So why don't you seem happy?"
"Just worried for a friend is all, but I know it'll all be fine." He tells me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me forward, "It's all good Bells, I promise."
He seemed honest enough and as soon as he said it his mood seemed to lighten again and he started to tell me about the bike he was fixing up now that he had finished building his rabbit and how he fixed up cars on the res for extra cash. I don't know anything about cars but listening to Jake talk about them made it sound interesting. Turns out he, Quil and Embry wanted to open up shop on the res when they finished school. Quil would do the books, while he and Embry focused on the cars. This led to what the other guys did or planned to do. "Embry and Quil are with me in eleventh, Paul, Jared and Kim are seniors like you, Seth is sixteen so he's in tenth year. Leah graduated last year now she works part-time at her mom's diner. Emily is the same age as her, they're cousins actually and she works part-time at the bakery. Sam does construction work, though really the guy fixes almost everything. Paul and Jared work for him sometimes too. And Collin and Brady are grounded but you'll meet them soon, they're only in ninth."
"They all seem very nice." I told him, though it wasn't exactly true, both Paul and Leah had glared unhappily at me, Jared had mainly ignored me while Sam had stared with a look I couldn't read but that burned my skin.
"Sure, sure." Jake laughed, "They're great, we are just sort of an odd group. They'll open up more next time you meet them."
By this time we had reached the house, I followed Jake upstairs where he disappeared and came back with one of his shirts and a pair of shorts for me to sleep in. he showed me to his sisters' old room and left me after kissing my forehead. "Night Bells. I'm really glad you're here."
"Me too Jake. Night."
That night was one of few I had without nightmares but my dreams were no less odd. I dreamt of a large black wolf with chocolate and caramel eyes. He was standing in the tree line of the forest just watching me. I felt the need to walk over to him but something kept me rooted to my spot, paralyzed with fear, but not fear of the wolf exactly.