I want

To do with you what spring does with the cherry trees

- Pablo Neruda

Anything you recognize from Mass Effect belongs to Bioware.

Garrus Vakarian awoke to the gentle sigh of his lover's breath, the rise and fall of her chest as she slept lulling him with its peaceful rhythm. Her skin was bare: the heat of his body was all she needed to keep her warm, the strength of his arms all she needed to keep her safe. The marks he'd so lovingly carved into her flesh the night before had faded to reddened trails: he found himself wishing that for once her healing wasn't quite so rapid, that when she emerged from the sanctuary of her quarters the world would know that she was his and his alone.

He purred, the baritone rumble pulling her slowly from the depths of her dreams. No maddening horrors had visited her this night: in his embrace she dreamt of metallic skin pressed against hers, delicate kisses from sharp teeth, and of cool ocean breezes caressing her body, relieving the scorching burn left by Palaven's harsh sun. She stirred, reaching behind her to stroke his thigh, moaning as he nipped at her throat, arching her back to press against his arousal, inviting him to bring her dream to a satisfying conclusion. He didn't fight the primal urges she awoke: she'd made it clear she wanted him just as he was, scarred and taloned, ravenous as he breathed her in and prepared to join with her, body and soul.

Flesh yielded to claw, resilient softness to brittle armor, her sacred spaces alien yet so inviting. Spirits, this must be where he belonged. He was consumed by the need to take and be taken, worship and devour: no matter the heights of their pleasure there was always more to give. At last he could delay no longer, leaning in to face her in the manner of her kind, purring ancient words into her ear before releasing the last of his restraint. His roar as he mated drowned his words, her cries, until all that was left was silence, broken only by the soft sounds of two beings breathing as one.

Sated, exhausted, he drew his tongue languidly across her neck, her sweat and blood and pheromones at once aphrodesiac and soporific. It was inconceivable that the scent of a human could be so intoxicating, but this was her. Shepard. His beloved, his mate, defender of the galaxy and steady anchor of his sanity. To think of her as human seemed as preposterous as to think of himself as, well, a good obedient turian. Nimble little fingers tracing his scars brought his attention back to the moment, her mouth hot around his injured mandible eliciting an appreciative purr. Damn, he'd forgotten how incredible it was to feel sexy, to have the object of his carnal desire wanting him just as badly. But this was more, so much more, and he wanted to linger here, drowning in the bliss of her love.

"Tell me, Shepard, when did you first know you loved me?"

She blushed. "Long before you knew, I suspect." Nuzzling his throat, she tried to distract him from what promised to be an embarrassing confession. Although their current relationship was one of equals, she'd been his mentor once, what felt like a lifetime ago. Casual intimacy would have been acceptable to a turian under those circumstances, but anything more serious would have violated both of their military codes. Did she love him back then, she wondered, or was it just an infatuation with a fiery young man who reminded her so much of herself?

Gently interrupting her playful bites, he lifted her chin to catch her gaze. Garrus wasn't about to let her off so easily. "I'd really like to know. I want to hear it. How you fell in love with a man like me." His tone was sweet but insistent; a flicker of doubt in his eyes betrayed the uncertainty behind his request. It hit her: he still couldn't quite believe she'd given her heart to him, even though the truth was she'd been his all along.

"Come here." She pulled him in to lie nestled against her, fingers stroking his fringe as he put his head on her shoulder. She wanted him to feel her words resonate against him, hear her heart pounding as she bared her soul. After all they'd been through, after everything he'd endured and overcome, deep down her fierce warrior was still just a little bit awkward and insecure. And she loved him for it.

"I don't quite know how to answer, Garrus." He jerked his head up, staring at her with eyes wide. "Shhh, hear me out. I've never felt like this before. I look at you and my heart wants to burst, like it's so full there's no room for anything else. It's hard to imagine a time when I didn't love you, hard to think of you as anything but my mate, impossible to picture waking up tomorrow or any other day without you next to me."

He settled in, wrapping one arm around her waist and tucking his head against her chest. "I remember being drawn to you from the moment I met you. Sure, I was mad at you for shooting so recklessly: do you remember what happened in the clinic?"

"How could I forget? You nearly ripped my head off. That was pretty hot, come to think of it."

She laughed softly. "That's not my point. I was angry, but mostly shocked that you'd even tried to take the shot. What I'm trying to say is, even back then I couldn't be levelheaded around you, although I had no idea what you'd come to mean to me."

"Mmmm."

"I'll admit, I had a crush on you in the old days. Not right away. It always bothered me that you were a better shot than I was." Actually, it bothered her a lot. She'd always been competitive, striving to be the best no matter what the circumstances, often to the amusement of her squadmates. So when Garrus started keeping a running tally of their kills, teasing her that being biotic meant she didn't have to learn how to aim, it was all she could do not to show how much he'd managed to get under her skin. She'd spent countless hours in the cargo hold, honing her marksmanship to try to keep up with him. Maybe that was why she was so hard on him back then, never missing an opportunity to lecture him about ethics and doing things the right way.

Everything changed when they hit Virmire, and what seemed like a grand adventure chasing Saren across the galaxy became a desperate battle to save civilization. Shepard was making a mad dash for cover through a hailstorm of geth bullets, alarms screaming as her shield generator failed. For a fleeting moment, it crossed her mind that she might not survive the mission, that she'd fail to live up to the overwhelming expectations of her new title. Out of the blue, a freight train of armored turian plowed into her, sending them both sprawling in the direction of a shipping crate. He popped his head out of cover, returning fire before leaning down to grin at his pinned commander. "Forty-seven," he said, and before she could thank him he was off again. Shepard watched him sprint away and was surprised to discover she was enjoying the sight, mesmerized by the dissonance of his ferocity and elegance, disciplined strength and youthful cockiness. Blood rushed through her, heart pounding as she shook off the unsteadiness and chased after him with renewed vigor.

"So you fell for me when I knocked you over? Spirits, Shepard, if I'd known you were into that sort of thing…"

"That's not what I meant and you know it. It was the first time I'd thought of you that way. And… I needed it. Something to distract me from the impossibility of the mission. To remind me I was still human."

Irony is a difficult expression for a turian to wear, but somehow Garrus managed. "I think I know what you're trying to say." He rolled his eyes, a mannerism of hers he'd long used to tease her. "All this time I thought you brought me along because of my extraordinary skill. Turns out you were using me for eye candy. I feel so dirty."

"You're insufferable! I thought you wanted to hear this."

"Go on. You haven't said a word about love, yet."

"I'm getting there. It's complicated. I loved you as a friend, well, ever since we became close on the old ship."

"Was that before or after you were checking me out?"

She paused. "Before, I think. Yes, definitely before. That's partly why it floored me when I started to have feelings for you." It had never felt right to say anything: the turian clearly had no interest in intimate companionship outside his species, and despite their friendship he was still her protégé, her subordinate. Flirting with him seemed wrong for so many reasons. And so she kept her emotions to herself, already taking heat from the more xenophobic members of her crew just for befriending Garrus. But at what point did sparks become flames, lust become love?

Shepard was lost for words. Taking a deep breath, she started with the certainty of the present and worked her way slowly back.

"I knew I loved you last night, when I felt your plates hot against my skin and tasted your tongue in my mouth: I wanted nothing more than to give myself to you, to make you feel more pleasure than you could bear. I've never needed anything so much in my life. And then I felt you, the thrill of you inside me so different and so right." She shivered, remembering the exquisite moment when she felt him enter her, her bed and her ship and the whole damned galaxy disappearing, until all that remained was him, and all that mattered was that he didn't stop, didn't ever stop because she knew she could never have enough.

"But I've been in love with you for a while now. When I healed you, opened my heart to take away your pain. When I stopped you from killing in cold blood, and stayed by your side when rage was eating you alive. When I stepped into the sights of your sniper rifle and trusted you not to pull the trigger." His breathing was becoming ragged, her words venturing into territory still painfully raw.

Shepard's voice lowered to a whisper, nails digging in between his plates as she relived her worst nightmare. "I knew I loved you when you were dying in my arms, when I thought I would lose you and it tore me apart. It was worse than losing my own life. It was…"

She stopped abruptly: a distant memory tugged at the corners of her mind, hazy fragments slowly becoming clear. Her death. Helplessly adrift, surrounded by the crushing silence of deep space, she watched in frenzied horror as the Normandy disintegrated all around her, the stars dispassionate sentinels of the last embers of her life. Mustering what courage she could, Shepard prepared to die alone. Hypoxia set in, blurring her vision and numbing her mind. Consciousness fading, an unexpected sound eclipsed the hiss of her suit breach. It sounded like… purring. The soft rumble and familiar metallic scent soothed her, and she could swear she'd felt warmth blossom all around her. Shepard closed her eyes, wrapping his arms around her as he welcomed her into an eternal embrace.

"I remember it now. Dying."

"I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say, holding her tight as she began to tremble.

"It felt so real. You were there with me, Garrus. That's when I knew I was in love with you. I wanted to stay in your arms forever."

"Forever," he said, shifting his weight to press down against her, his purr resonating through her body as he spoke, "sounds perfect to me."