A/N: I love this holiday.
"Konzennn!" Goku whined, being dragged down the hallway by his hair. "Lemme gooo!"
"Urusai, chibi saru!" Konzen yelled back at his charge. This was the last straw, damn it! The chimp had drawn all over his late paperwork, made paper mache out of his documents and some old glue he found(Konzen's not sure where he got said glue, but the name 'Kenren' comes to mind, and damn it if that sticky substance didn't get all over his desk!) and tracked mud all over the floors after playing outside in the vast field of flowers.
"I'm sorry, Konzen!" Goku apologized again. "Really sorry! I've just been so bored lately!"
Konzen sighed and loosened his grip on the monkey's scalp. His boredom was palpable. God knows, there's no kids here around his age for him to play with. (And the one that is, well, they're just a match made for disaster). Tenpou and Kenren had been out on a mission in the world below all week. Goku had been left to find his own entertainment most of the time while Konzen was working and really, that was just asking for trouble.
"I know," he tells the boy, ruffling his wild hair. "But Tenpou and that idiot are back today. So you can bother them for a few hours while I catch up on work."
Golden eyes lit up at that. "Ten-chan and Ken-nii-chan are back? Yay! Let's go, let's go!" Somehow the situation turned around completely and Konzen was the one being dragged along.
"Ten-chan!" Goku called cheerily, banging at the wooden door. No answer. Konzen raised an elegant eyebrow. "Oi, Tenpou!" He tried.
Nothing. With trepidation, Konzen pushed open the door barely a crack, when a small avalanche of books came pouring out. He managed to pluck Goku out of the way just in time to not be hit in the head by some 500 page book on gardening.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting company." A casual voice said from the vicinity of the mess. Goku smiled and skipped without a care into a rat pack's delight. Konzen made his way much slower and less enthusiastic. "Please excuse the mess."
"You wipe that goddamn smile off you face Tenpou Gensui!" He scowled at the strategic genius. "You could have killed us! How is the room this messy when you just got back?"
Tenpou grinned. "Ah, well you see, when me and my dear superior Kenren came back here to enjoy some lovely sake I'd been saving I realized, I'd forgotten where it was!"
Konzen wasn't buying it. "Doesn't Kenren keep some attached to his hips at all times?"
"Ah yes, but he finished it off in the lower world, I'm afraid." Tempou gestured with his chin over by one of the many haphazard book cases. Half buried under books and random mementos lay a snoring Kenren.
Goku giggled, saying, "Baka Ken-nii-chan!" Konzen couldn't agree more.
"Uh huh. Well, that's all fascinating, but I need you to watch the monkey for a little."
"Sure, no problem. We're always happy to have Goku here." Konzen nodded his thanks.
"See you then. Don't cause too much trouble." Konzen told his charge firmly. Who was he kidding? As long as he wasn't bothering him.
"Bye Konzen!" Goku yelled back at his protector's retreating form.
Tenpou smiled and looked longingly at the sleeping man in the corner. He was tired, but... "Ne, Ten-chan, can you read me a book?"
Tenpou could have said no and retired, but that would have left Goku to his own accord and that was just begging for trouble. Besides, he was smiling with those large innocent eyes.
"Of course, Goku." The boy cheered and hopped over to him and they sat down for the pleasant afternoon, Tenpou lying leisurely with a cigarette in his hand and Goku's chatter blaring out Kenren's oblivious snores.
Somewhere after the tenth chapter of the book though, Tenpou nodded off. Leaving Goku on his own.
Goku was fine finishing the book on his own. Ten-chan said he was doing very well with his reading, but he still had trouble with some of the bigger words. After rummaging around for more children's books to keep him occupied, Goku sighed. He wished he could color.
To his luck, he managed to find a pack of markers. But when he searched for the stack of scrap papers he knew Ten-chan kept handy, he found they were coincidentally placed under the dozing general.
"Ken-nii-chan!" he huffed. "Move your ass!"
He tried to shove the general up, but the older man batted him away, mumbling something like "buzz off saru." Irritated at not getting his way, he kicked a stray pile of books near the lazy man.
Now what am I going to color on...?
Suddenly, a mischievous smile lit up on his face. Giggling with evil glee, he took the markers and decided to develop his artistic skills on a live specimen.
"You little brat!"
The angry yell came from a struggling general, trying to get his hands on the heretical boy half his size, who was currently taking shelter behind the awakened Field Marshall.
The general in question was also sporting various colored marker scribbles on his face. Black around his eyes, orange around his cheeks, green on his forehead.
"Now, now, Kenren. No need to maim the poor boy. I'd say it's a very...complementing new look for you." Tenpou tried, only earning him a scowl from Kenren and a disbelieving glance for Goku.
"You were blocking the paper, Ken-nii-chan!" Goku argued, still clutching Tenpou's labcoat. "And I had nothing better to do!"
"Get a hobby!" The dark-haired man yelled back. "My poor, ladies man face!"
"Ah, well, yes what a shame. Goku, why don't you go get some towels to help our victim here wash off."
"'Kay." he agreed, rushing off to find the items his babysitter asked for. When Goku was out of earshot, Tenpou couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"I don't approve or anything, but you have to admit, it is quite funny." Kenren glared again, vigorously attempting wipe the marker off his face.
"But boredom is no excuse to behave as such," he continued to say, "and Konzen just can't dump him on us when he's in a mood. He's need to learn to deal. I think they're both in need of a lesson."
This piqued Kenren's interest. "What did you have in mind?"
Tenpou smiled, a mask of his true malicious intentions to anyone who knew him as well. "Revenge is a sweet game."
Kenren grinned wolfishly when Tenpou pulled out a certain 'item of vengence' from the lower world and called Goku into the room.
What a pleasantly dull afternoon...
Konzen thought while strolling through the corridors. With all the peace and quiet, I actually finished my work. Let's hope he didn't cause any mayhem.
Smirking, Konzen mentally deadpanned that it didn't reallly matter, as long as it wasn't him. With any luck, it was Kenren.
As though the God of Fortune had heard him, when Konzen walked in the Field Marshal's office (and wasn't assaulted by books) he met with a general whose face was marred with poorly washed off marker. Konzen donned a smirk.
Snorting, he said: "You look like a retarted jack-o-lantern."
Scowling, Kenren gave him the finger, but then smirked like he had something much better up his sleeve. Raising an elegant brow, Konzen looked past him to find his chimp-
"Wha- What the hell?" He screeched in horror.
"Oh. Hi Konzen!" Goku greeted cheerily. "Ten-chan was just telling me this cool story about a holdiay they have in the lower world called 'All Hallows Eve.' Where you get to dress up and stuff! Sounds fun, ne?"
Konzen didn't respond. His brow was twitching uncontrollably and he was torn between beating the hell out of his charge or the two soldiers grinning like idiots.
His charge was dressed up in a frilly white dress, hanging by spaghetti straps on his thin shoulders. Trimmed with pale lavender lace, and a pink rose decorating the piece, and his hair done tied back in two ponytails-
He looked like a very cute little girl.
The Field Marshall smiled. "Yes?"
"Why is he dressed up?"
"Why, for the holiday of course. And besides, he looks just so adorable doesn't he. We have a matching dress if you'd like to dress up as well-"
One loud crash later, and the collapse of a precariously placed stack of books behind Tenpou, Konzen was dragging the golden-eyed boy out of the room, exclaiming something along the lines of, "Never again am I leaving him alone with you two."
As if that was a promise. Goku waved behind him, smiling naively, wishing them a, "Happy holiday!"
Kenren waved back, laughing harshly, despite his own predicament. The buried alive general sighed, emitting a muffled, "Revenged is often plagued with cross dressing."
500 years later...
500 years later...
"Oh, hello Goku. Did Sanzo drop you off?"
"Yeah," the boy answered, bouncing into the house. "He said he didn't want me getting into trouble while he went to the market. And it's boring at the temple with those monks."
"I'm sure," Hakkai mused, patting him on the head fondly. "Why don't you go play with our guests?" Gojyo groaned.
"Yes, I'm watching little Tai and Tao from in town for their grandmother. Why don't you go play with them?" Goku's face lit up at the thought of playing with kids his own age.
"Okay!" He ran off to the other room. Gojyo moaned piteously.
"Man, more brats to watch. It's bad enough that monk uses us as his personal babysitter! This is gonna ruin my street cred..."
"Oh, I'm sure it's completely obliterated by now, what with taking in a stray man, allowing him to live in your home, hanging out with a monk and monkey-like child. And now, doing favor for kind old ladies... What will the women think?"
Gojyo didn't answer, only threw an unaimed beer bottle at his best friend and started nursing another one.
"Hi!" Goku greeted the two sisters. They looked up in surprise from the dolls they were playing with and blinked in the awkward silence of the room.
Until the older girl, Tai exclaimed, "He's so kawaii! Isn't he Nee-chan?"
Tao nodded, smiling giddily. They dropped their forgotten dolls, obviously finding a much more entertaining toy.
Goku, confused as hell to what they were talking about, just decided to play along. He really wanted to be friends with these girls.
"Do you wanna play dress up?" Tao asked, green eyes sparkling with delight.
Goku must not have seen the evil glint somewhere inside those eyes, and he nodded dumbly to their request. He wanted to make friends with other kids and playing their games didn't seem so bad. Though, he had never heard of 'dress up.' But for some reason it sounded vaguely familiar. Perhaps from some memory he's forgotten?
And for another unexplained reason, when thinking about 'dress up,' things like jack-o-lantern, markers, revenge, and candy came to mind.
"What. The. Hell?" Sanzo screeched, the big blue vein in his forehead threatening to pop. Tai and Tao were taking shelter behind Hakkai, grinning and looking proud of themselves. Gojyo was barely able to contain himself, laughing hysterically behind his hand.
"Maa, now Sanzo-san." Hakkai said gently, holding his hands up in a gesture of peace. "Just an innocent children's game. Now, put down the gun..."
"Ne, what's the problem?" Tai injected. "I think he looks cute."
Angry violet eyes stared down at her like a hawk to a rabbit. She was completely unaffected and smiled obliviously. Sanzo inwardly cursed child stupidity.
"Yeah, Sanzo-sama." Gojyo panted between laughs. "What's the problem?" A bullet streaked past the redhead, missing him by a crimson hair. Hakkai muttered something about 'just fixing the last bullet holes.' Gojyo still couldn't breathe, despite his near escape from death.
"What's the problem..." Sanzo muttered darkly, fist trembling with the need to whack someone.
There, stood a still confused Goku, dressed in a yellow sundress which complemented his glowing golden eyes and tan skin nicely. His wild hair was tyed back in a long braid and a purple lilac flower was placed there for decoration.
All in all, he resembled a very cute little girl.
"Stop cross dressing my charge!" He screamed. The ensuing sound of bullets firing traveled all the way to the nearby village.
"Ahahaha!" The Merciful Goddess chuckled, watching the whole things from her throne in the heavens. "Some things never change."
Jiroushin sweat dropped at his lady's morbid sense of humor and muttered an exasperated, "Happy Halloween."
A/N: Goku's too cute for his own Happy Halloween!