Whoo~ this is (most likely) the final chapter! :D

So the poll results are as follows~ And I can honestly say that they were not what I was expecting 8X

Smoker: 8
Mihawk: 7 I'm sorry you guys, but this one isn't gonna be possible with the time frame I have D:
Sanji: 5
Forgetting all together: 2
Ace: 2 (whaaat! *sad face*)
Akio: The poor bastard got a vote! Only 1 though...
YAOI ORGY!: 1 (sadly lol :D)

x: lol I agree, it would be hilarious :3

anon: *is biased towards Sanji* I also kinda wanted him to win too

Nikki: Hehe thank you so much for all your great reviews! :D *waves flag* and the free-for-all has begun! Awuh! You flatter me yet again! You're gonna swell my ego~ *wiggles happily* unfortunately, I'm afraid that mihawk's not gonna come into this one :C cause I really just don't have enough time to bring him in without it seeming too sudden and even worse than crack. THANK YOU FOR THE INCREDIBLE REVIEW! :D

storyteller: Lol it warn't the end :3 I was just joshin! But this chapter is the end...FOR NOW! Muahaha. And I'm sory to say mihawk won't make an appearance this time. v.v

ramb: hehe thank you! :D


Chapter 4 – And A Pirate, No Less!

The three men and reindeer had moved themselves to a more isolated location, where they wouldn't disturb any locals or the rest of their crew. Zoro lay sprawled out in the grass, dozing comfortably. The wind would ruffle the short soft spikes, running over Zoro's body like every man (and reindeer) there wanted to do so badly. His breathing was light and his cheeks were a healthy pink from the warm sun. Luffy, Chopper, Ace, and Sanji all took a moment to admire Zoro as he slept. He was lying on his side with his hand balled up by his mouth. His legs were bent, as if he was trying to curl up. They followed the curve of hips that dipped down at his waist and then broadened again towards his shoulder. He truly was their sleeping beauty. Granted, their brainwashing definitely shopped the image a tad, so it wasn't quite as cute as it had seemed.

"I can't wait to make you mine, Marimo-chan~ I know you secretly prefer me~" Sanji was struck from behind by a rubbery hand and knocked flat on his face. "Oi, Luffy! You bastard, we haven't set the terms!"

"Who cares? I'm gonna kick all of your asses and then take Zoro!" Steam exploded from Luffy's nose, like a bull preparing to charge.

"So a free for all, huh?" Ace grinned confidently. "If those are the terms then it should be no problem." Ace's body burst into a column of flame, making his competitors take an instinctual step back.

"That's not fair! Ace has a huge advantage being a Logia! I think it should be more of a challenge than a fight!"

"Nami? Where'd you come from?" Nami, Usopp, Robin, Franky, and Brooke all stood about 50 feet away, and they had Zoro with them. When had they managed to steal him away? A combined effort of the incredibly stealthy Usopp'n and the thieving skills that our dear Nami had honed through years of practice, perhaps? That was just a guess.

"O-Oi! Give us back our prize!" Ace cried angrily at the thief that had stolen away his future bride. He had already planned out which apron he'd want Zoro to greet him in every morning while he cutely panicked over a ruined breakfast, and how he'd kiss away Zoro's tears and how this~ would lead to that~ and—

"Oi, Ace, chill your boner." Sanji remarked snidely as he lit up a cigarette. "So what's the game, Nami-san?" He asked as he stared at his unconscious lover in the arms of the Cyborg. Franky's cold, steel hands were not worthy enough for someone as brilliant as Zoro.

"We're gonna go hide with Zoro. Whoever finds us first will win~" And with that they began to run off. "You have to wait thirty minutes before you can start searching! And NO FLYING! That includes launching, turning into fire, etc." Nami added as they ran dramatically under the evening light. By the time they would be allowed to search for their princess, the sun will have set.


Nami and Usopp were huffing and puffing when they were finally able to sit down, after having ran at their top speed over almost the entire island just to find a decent hiding spot. They'd chosen a spot that was right under the nose of the hustle and bustle of the little portside town. They had gotten comfortable inside their craggy cave.

"I can't believe, we're doing something so complicated just so you can have you peace and quiet." Usopp managed through many a labored gasp. It seemed like he was always the one that Nami made run along side her. Perhaps it was for the comfort of knowing that there was someone else right next to you that was just as pitiful as you were. Or, more likely, it was so she could have someone to trip if she ever needed a diversion. But that wasn't the point this time. This time, it'd been Nami's selfish wish to keep this as violence free as she could.

Nami tilted her head back as she gasped for air, bargaining with her side stitch to please go away rather soon, as it was most uncomfortable. "Ah, Usopp, I know you're mad, but you don't have to shine that damn light in my eyes."

"Ah-a-a-ahhh~ Naaamiii~"

"Oh my." Nami could hear Robin stand up and take a few steps. In which direction Nami wasn't quite sure, as she still had her eyes shut, but her voice sounded like she was in a less than idea situation.

"What's the matter, Robin?"

"Shit, what're these guys doing here?" Franky shifted his sunglasses down over his eyes as the bright light shifted over his face. "So not Super~"

"Mugiwara no Kaizokudan! You are all under arrest!"

"Nani!" Nami straightened up so fast that there was no way her back wouldn't feel that in the morning. "Why the hell is Smoker here?" She and Usopp retreated into the far depths of the cave, perhaps they hadn't been spotted yet?

"Yohoho~ My heart is all a flutter with fear! Oh, but I don't have a heart...YOHOHO!" Well Brooke's practically nonexistent role so far had been a blessing to some. To think you'd almost escaped without a 'skull joke.' Well, my friend, I could never deprive you of such.

"Today has been quite an interesting day. Perhaps things have yet to get even more interesting."

"OOW~ Nico Robin, I don't know whether you're being optimistic or you have a wicked sense of humor~" Franky posed for all the marines to see. Many grimaced. The faint of heart...well...fainted.



'Shit, where could they've gone?' Sanji was running through the streets of Hirataimura, franticly searching through the crowd. He was desperate to win this contest. He knew that Zoro was meant to be with him, he could feel it in every fiber of his being! He imagined a happy smiling Zoro looking up at him, his big eyes fluttering coyly at him. "I knew you'd be the one to find me~" He would purse his lips ever so slightly as he would begin to remove his shirt. "Love always finds a way~"

"Oh ho ho~" Sanj's nose began to drip with blood. "So that's how it's gonna be~ YOSH! MARIMO-CHWAAAAAAN~ I'M COMING FOR YOOO—hm?" Sanji looked down over the bay and saw that there was an impressive fleet of marine ships anchored with spot lights trained on a specific spot on the coast. He knew, at that very moment, that it could not be anyone except for the very people he was thinking of. 'Shit, those guys...' Sanji's Mellorine Radar System kicked in and zeroed in on his beautiful prince(ss). "They're taking Zoro!"

"Who's taking Zoro?"

"Ah! You guys!" The remaining three had all managed to reach the same spot, even Luffy had managed it. Though Sanji felt it was a bit unfair that Chopper had his superb nose, he was still first to arrive, and that was all that mattered. "I'm first. I win Zoro."

"The challenge was to be the first to get Zoro back."

"No it wasn't! I found him first! He's mine!" Sanji cried childishly.

"Yeah," Ace mocked, "well he's The Marine's right now."

"FIRST ONE TO ZORO GETS TO KISS HIM!" Luffy cried, jumping down off the ledge and toward their trapped Nakama.



Franky had picked up the still asleep Zoro in his arms. How this an had slept through it all was just beyond ridiculous. But something had gotten Zoro to stir. Our of reflex, Franky looked down at Zoro for a brief second to see if he was ok. Perhaps that second had been fated to happen, because steel blue eyes met Zoro's spicy brown ones, and suddenly...Franky didn't want to give out the winning prize he'd been holding. What the hell had he been thinking? Giving out a beauty like this, he must've been out of his mind. He didn't take his eyes off of Zoro once as he was escorted onto the ship and out of sight, along with Brooke and Robin. Nami and Usopp had managed to escape just in time and were watching from above. They were sure that everyone would be fine, it wasn't anything they couldn't handle.


It had been a long, and dangerous process, but after many a man was injured, a group of highly specialized marines were able to separate Zoro from the cyborg's arms, and Zoro was taken off to his own separate detainment cell to be questioned separately. He'd awoken, but was still far from being really "awake" yet. He stared up at the ceiling and was thinking about everything that had happened in only the past couple hours or so. What was going on? Why were all the guys acting so funny? He thought about the kisses he'd received and blushed. He turned his head to the side and saw that Smoker was watching him keenly.

Zoro saw Smoker's eyes widen and then reset. But even through the calm façade, Zoro could see inner turmoil.

'Shit,' Smoker thought as he looked over Zoro's body, 'why is he so...' Smoker didn't want to finish his thought, but we all knew what he was thinking.

"Oooi~ what do you want?"

That voice. Oh, how dirty your tactics are, Roronoa. To use a man's hormones against him! You should know the pain of such a technique. 'You lowlife pirate scum, you'll stop at nothing to make me succumb to your will.' Smoker took out a key and unlocked the cell door. "Well, it's worked."


Smoker walked in and firmly shut the door behind him, his face twisted up as if he was in pain. Well, I suppose it could've been painful to be in the position he was in, but let's not get into that...oh who am I kidding.

Smoker kneeled down beside Zoro, looking over the body that was heaving with heavy breathing. "What do you want?" Smoker's groin twitched viciously at the sound of this sexy boy's voice. He took off his jacket and gloves, revealing a bare, chiseled torso and strong hands. Hands that were itching to rip Zoro's clothes apart and explore that perfectly bronzed skin. So he did just that. He ripped Zoro's shirt open and began to run his hands up and down Zoro's chest roughly, enjoying the gasps that escaped Zoro's lips. He stopped at Zoro's nipples and gave them both a harsh twist, getting a real moan out of the swordsman. This was probably one of the first moans that had not been hallucinated. Nor had Smoker imagined Zoro arching off the floor into his touch. No, that had all been real.

"So fuckin sexy." Smoker rearranged himself so he was in between Zoro's legs. Lifting Zoro's legs up so they could be curled comfortably around Smoker's waist, he bent down and began to suck at the abused buds that protruded from Zoro's heaving chest.

"Stop it! D-Don't." The stutter was real, and so was the blush. Zoro didn't know what to make of it all, except for the fact that it felt amazing.

"I'll never obey a pirate." Smoker growled as he bit his way down to Zoro's pant line, quickly removing them. He was rewarded with the beautiful sight of Zoro in those incredibly sexy panties. He tugged them down ever so slightly.


Too late. Zoro's hardening member had been freed and Smoker licked the slit teasingly. Zoro bit into his lip, not wanting to let any more sounds out. But something else soon took care of his loud mouth: two large fingers. Smoker shoved his fingers deep into Zoro's mouth and gave his demand. "Suck."

Zoro, real tears, though caused by his gag reflex, began to pool at the corners of his eyes, making Smoker want him all the more.

He removed his fingers and shifted Zoro into a position that was more suitable for Smoker's needs. He slipped one poorly lubed finger into Zoro's tight entrance, and Zoro cried out and swore as Smoker quickly moved his finger in and out and in and out again, adding another finger before Zoro was really ready for it.

"Ahhh~ Ah! It hurts!"

"Then fuckin relax. Cause it's gonna hurt more in a second."

The fingers were gone, and Zoro was already too exhausted to think about what was coming next. Smoker flipped him over and pulled his hips up and back so his ass was high in the air while the rest of him slumped to the ground. It was really quite the erotic pose, but Zoro felt like nothing more than a 200 Belli whore. He felt Smoker's dick slide between his cheeks, teasing.

"You want me?" He asked, no humor in his voice. It was like a test, and if he failed he was gonna pay for it.

Zoro didn't even think about what he was saying and nodded dumbly. He felt too good at the moment and he didn't want it to stop. Smoker grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. "I said, do you want me. Answer me! You fucking pirate trash!"

Zoro glared at Smoker as best he could. "Go to hell, bastard."

"Hn." Smoker was oddly satisfied by Zoro's deliberate lack of respect and his unconventional way of showing submissiveness. "Good boy." He praised before guiding his dick to that taught ring of muscle. He pushed in, but could only get in half the way. "Dammit Zoro, loosen up." He growled. He pulled out and slammed back in. If Zoro wasn't going to let him in, he'd force it. But Zoro was already beyond his ability to speak. His world consisted of nothing more than his ass and the pain that it was being subjected to. Smoker slammed into him again and again, trying to get deep enough to hit that sweet spot to hear...oh, yeah. There it was. The delicious, orgasm inducing moans that only the sexy creature beneath him could ever manage to utter. Smoker pounded into Zoro, not letting any time go to waste. "Hn!" He grunted as he came, hard. His fluids spilling out in large amonts as he withdrew his softening member.

Smoker then seemed to awaken from his daze. He looked down at Zoro and was immediately...appalled?

Had he just had sex with a man? And a PIRATE, no less! Surely this couldn't be! Flushing bright red with horrible embarrassment, Smoker turned to smoke and fled the scene, leaving behind the keys and a completely fazed Zoro...and someone else who'd happened to find their way.

"I see! So that's how they can break the curse!" Nami exclaimed! "All they need to do is have sex! Isn't this great Usopp? ... Usopp? Are you alright?"

But Usopp was completely unresponsive on the floor of the prison. He'd seen too much. He was just going to go back to that nice world where there were no crazy bitches, mindless zombies of love, or magical panties.


(for now)

Author's Note

There will definitely be an extended version of this story. Definitely. It was just too much fun to write and so much stuuf wound up getting left out D: Like I wanted to bring back that chick pirate from the beginning and Akio had to make another appearance and Chopper and Sanji and Ace and Luffy all ahd to come back and yadda yadda yadda. That'll all be written in at a later time!

So speedy writing cause I was tired and I didn't bother editing. That'll be for another day :/ ideally tomorrow.

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING! AND LOOK OUT FOR A LONGER VERSION! I'll post an update here when the first chapter of the new version is out :3