A/N- To those of you joining me on this Carlisle/Bella adventure, "Welcome Back" (that was sung to the tune of Welcome Back Kotter). I realize that this pairing isn't for everyone and I totally accept that. For me, however, it's a guilty little pleasure. First and foremost, I have to thank velvetbutterfly who wrote, What Happens at Charlie's Wedding, the first ever Bellisle story I read. If it wasn't for her, I might not be giving this one a go. To Hibbleton who gave me the plot bunny because as she said, there is no way I can write anyone other than Bella & Edward. Thanks twin! A big special thanks to littlemissb who preread every single chapter for me. I was total fail in providing her second one shot for the FGB so she graciously accepted the honor of prereading this little nugget for me. And to LizF22 who provided infinite words of support & encouragment, not to mention, a few suggestions for when I did something just so utterly canon. I love you girls so much! My beta, katydid2363 who is venturing into a different pairing from what she normally reads, just for me- thank you so so much! Who knows, maybe I'll make a fan of you yet. More at the end, but until then, let's meet the good doctor. Stepanie Meyer owns everything but pairing Carlisle & Bella together. I don't own that either, but I do own the fact that there will be NO Edward in this story. GASP!
A/N- To those of you joining me on this Carlisle/Bella adventure, "Welcome Back" (that was sung to the tune of Welcome Back Kotter). I realize that this pairing isn't for everyone and I totally accept that. For me, however, it's a guilty little pleasure.
First and foremost, I have to thank velvetbutterfly who wrote, What Happens at Charlie's Wedding, the first ever Bellisle story I read. If it wasn't for her, I might not be giving this one a go. To Hibbleton who gave me the plot bunny because as she said, there is no way I can write anyone other than Bella & Edward. Thanks twin!
A big special thanks to littlemissb who preread every single chapter for me. I was total fail in providing her second one shot for the FGB so she graciously accepted the honor of prereading this little nugget for me. And to LizF22 who provided infinite words of support & encouragment, not to mention, a few suggestions for when I did something just so utterly canon. I love you girls so much!
My beta, katydid2363 who is venturing into a different pairing from what she normally reads, just for me- thank you so so much! Who knows, maybe I'll make a fan of you yet.
More at the end, but until then, let's meet the good doctor.
Stepanie Meyer owns everything but pairing Carlisle & Bella together. I don't own that either, but I do own the fact that there will be NO Edward in this story. GASP!The Messenger
When you've spent a little more than three centuries existing in the world, you learn a lot about yourself and about other people. I've learned that people are not always good. They are cruel, selfish, and ungrateful. Every once in a while, however, you find the good in someone. Whether it's an act of kindness or someone paying it forward, the world isn't consumed with bad.
I've had to believe this about myself as well. Growing up the son of an Angelican pastor, my father held hunts, attempting to rid the world of evil. When he fell ill, I was slated to take over his role. That was how I met my untimely "death". Today, I am one of those creatures my father and the other pastors searched the night time for. It took a long time for me to understand that I wasn't something born of the devil. I've come to terms with what I am. I'm not a monster; I'm not the bad guy. I'm simply a vampire. I can use my knowledge, that I've gathered over the course of my lifetime, for good. I can help people. I can be compassionate. I can act like them, the humans. The problem with my life however, is that I can not have them.
I took a vow early on that I would never consume the blood of humans and I can proudly say that I have never done so. I find substance in that of animals. I can function in today's society under the impression of everyone around me that I am a doctor. I am a doctor. I'm also a historian, a trained martial artist, and a classical pianist. I'm fluent in almost every language and I've lived just about every where. I can have and have had almost anything I've ever wanted, except the companionship of a woman. It's not like I haven't had the offers. Believe me, I've had the offers. I don't want them.
That's not to say that I've never been with a woman. I have. Many times over. In my time in Italy, with a coven of vampires known as the Volturi, I had shared a bed with other women of my kind.
The upside to having another vampire fulfill your sexual needs is that they never dwell on the issue of forever with you. When you have an eternity to spend on Earth, you don't tend to over analize feelings for another. It's more of an opportunity, a release, to get your rocks off.
I've even taken residence alongside a human in bed as well. It's dangerous, but exhilerating. The way you have to be careful with them so you don't break every bone in their body is frustrating, but what makes up for it is the heat that radiates from their body. Seeing as how I'm dead, I run a litte...cold. Having the comforts of a warm body lying next to you in bed makes one feel almost human again.
The downside to taking a human lover is that there is no forever with them. I would never, I could never, subject another to this type of life.
Instead of dwelling on the comforts of a woman, I've regarded myself as more of a ladies man. The one that's hard to catch, only giving in to a human when it was time for me to leave town, in search of the next city to call home. They felt like they had succeeded in landing the hottest catch in town, and I was able to feel satisfied. For a short while, at least.
It never occuried to me that I could have the best of both worlds. I had been too busy learning about the world around me and how to blend in just perfectly. My quiet little world had been knocked off it's axis when I was surprised with a visit, many years ago, by a pair of vampires that I now considered family.
The first time I had ever met Alice and her mate, Jasper, I had been living in Philadelphia. Alice had seen me in a vision and was determined to find me. She saw a way of life in which we could co-exist with humans. She saw my vegetarian way of life. Jasper proving to struggle with it more than Alice. Over time however, he managed to keep his bloodlust at bay.
Alice and Jasper each had their sorrid pasts. Alice, could not recall how she had come about this form of life. Jasper, on the other hand, could recall perfectly how he had met his fate. They were soul mates in every sense of the word. I sometimes joked that it was in their southern nature to be drawn to one another. She being from Mississippi and he from Texas. It was only natural for two southern gems to find one another. Part of me envied that. Part of me wanted someone who was my own soul mate. A part of me knew that it would never happen.
Alice constantly kept me on my toes. I never knew, from one minute to the next, what her motive was, but for her, guessing was never apart of the agenda. She possessed the gift of seeing the future and Jasper was able to manipulate the emotions of those around him. I had witnessed first hand vampires possessing special gifts during my time in Italy. Along my travels in my life I had met others who had their own special.
Alice was responsible for the wealth I had acquired. She always alerted me when I needed to move stocks or invest in something so unheard of that my stock brokers thought I was insane. Of course, after several times and a few million dollars richer, they stopped asking questions and began to trust me. Alice had never let me down.
Since Philadelphia, the three of us had been living together as a family. As we moved from city to city, our story never changed. Alice posed as my niece and Jasper was her boyfriend. The longer we stayed in town, the longer we could keep the lie up. Sometimes, Alice and Jasper would "remarry", but it was never a drawn out affair. I had never seen two people, or vampires, more attuned to one another. When she moved, he moved with her. When she hurt, he hurt for her. I envied them more than they knew. That was a lie. I think Alice knew and Jasper could sense it.
After Philadelphia we moved to several other cities. We held a residence in Alaska, near another coven of vegetairan vampires, as well as our current home in Forks, Washington. It wasn't a case of this was mine. It was all ours. Alice and Jasper occasionally retreated to our home in Denali when they wanted the privacy or to rekindle their many honeymoons. It was those trips when I felt the lonliest. In all of my years, I had never shunned the moments that I spent alone, but after living with a couple who were the epitomy of soul mates, I began to dread the quietness of the house.
It was late one evening when I walked into my study, after having spent the better part of the night at Forks General, where I found Jasper relaxed in the chaise lounge reading a book.
"I hope you don't mind me using your space for reading," he said, never looking up from his book. "Alice is on a rampage. She feels like you need more of a woman's touch around this place."
I smiled more to myself since Jasper was engrossed in his reading. "She's lived here for how long and she doesn't think it has much of a woman's touch?" I walked behind my desk and sat at the large, executive chair, scratching the back of my neck. It wasn't that I had an itch, just a human habit I had picked up over the years. "What exactly is Alice going to do?"
Jasper laughed softly. "Carlisle, I have no idea and I know better than to ask."
"Of course," I said, thinking that Jasper was a smart man. I glanced at the book he was reading and laughed to myself. It wasn't until Jasper diverted his attention from the book to me that I realized that I had laughed out loud. He gave me a quizzical look, arching his eyebrow. "War and Peace?" I asked, nodding to the book.
Jasper shrugged. "I'm not much for the romantic classics and since I have no desire to work in medicine, this was the next best thing."
My extensive library held many first editions of some of the great literary classic novels. Being a doctor I also had just about every medical journal ever published. I could see Jasper's dilemma.
We sat in silence. Jasper reading the book for what I was sure was the hundredth time and me contemplating on whether or not I should bring up the hesitations I had been facing lately. Sensing my emotional turmoil, Jasper took a deep breath and sent a wave of calm over the room. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, reveling in the peacefulness, if only for a moment.
"Thank you," I finally breathed out.
"You're welcome. Now, would you like to tell me why you have been so anxious? It's not like you, Carlisle."
"Jasper, I honestly don't know where it's all coming from. I'm not sure if I even know where to start."
"How about the beginning," he said sitting up from his reclined position and resting his elbows on his legs.
"The beginning. When is that?" I asked. "I'm not sure I even know."
"Not to sound like a doctor or anything," he said with a wink, "but I keep getting the feeling of uncertainty from you. It's almost like you're not happy. Are you happy, Carlisle?"
"I'm happy, Jasper, but I almost feel like I'm missing something, or someone. I can't help but think that maybe I haven't made the best decisions in my life. Does that make sense?"
"Absolutely. But why? If anything, Carlisle, you've only ever made the right decision. You don't feed from humans. You work alongside them on a daily basis, you save their lives. You taught Alice and me your ways. I don't see how you've ever made the wrong decision."
I sighed and stood from my chair until I was standing in front of my desk. I perched myself on the edge and crossed my legs in front of one another.
"I see you and Alice, you have each other. Every day you two are there for one another. I don't have someone like that. I'm not remorseful about it by any means, but from time to time it would be nice to have the same sort of relationship with another."
"Then why don't you? Your bloodlust has never been a concern for you. You're around them all the time. Why don't you take a lover?"
"A human lover? Jasper, unless I plan to leave the area, I don't see where that would be a good idea. I only tend to take up residence with a human when I'm ready to leave town."
"You know better than anyone how to be careful with them. You'd never consider harming them because you're too compassionate for that. I don't see why you don't at least entertain the idea. Or," he said, eyeing me. "We could plan a trip to Denali. I'm sure Tanya would be more than happy to help relieve your stress."
I shook my head and chuckled. Tanya, whom Jasper had spoken of, was quite willing to seek pleasure with me, and any other man for that matter. "I don't know. It doesn't seem like the wisest choice. We could be discovered. I just, I just couldn't chance that."
"Carlisle, if I've ever met a more careful person it's you."
"It's just not that, Jasper. What if I become involved with someone? I can't do normal boyfriend things. I can't take them out to eat. I can never tell them what I am. What if things end badly? Or worse, what if they become suspicious of what I am? I'd have to move."
"Carlisle, may I ask what has stemmed all of this? You're never like this and quite frankly, it's wearing me down."
"I've just been thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I was thinking back on my time in Wisconsin, before you and Alice joined me. It was the turn of the century and I was practicing medicine there. I treated a young woman. A beautiful young woman who was on her deathbed. I could have saved her. I could have made her my mate. Instead, I let her die.
Then, in Chicago, during the height of the Spanish Influenza, I was treating a woman, a man and their son. The mother, on her death bed, begged and pleaded with me to save her son. It was like she knew what I was. What I could do. Do you know what I did, Jasper? I let him die. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bestow the same fate as myself to those poor innocent people. Even if I had saved their human life, I couldn't do it." I sighed heavily and looked Jasper in the eye. "Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing."
Jasper stood from the lounge and paced towards me. He extended his hand and clamped it down on my shoulder. "Carlisle you are too old and too wise to play the what if game. Let me ask you something. What if you would have turned them and they resented you for what you did? What if that woman was never intended to be your mate? And that boy, what if he went on a killing spree? Have you considered what would have happened then?"
I thought over his words and allowed his second wave of calm to rush over me. He was right. I had only considered what the benefits of being surrounded by my equals that I had never entertained the idea that they would not welcome this lifestyle or me for that matter.
"You're right, Jasper. You are absolutely right. I'm sorry for my onslaught of despair you've had to deal with," I said, smiling and patting his back.
"It's no problem, Carlisle. You know I'm here to help in any way possible."
"Have you hunted today?" I asked, as a slight burning sensation worked it's way down my throat.
Jasper shook his head no.
"Then let's see what the Olympic Peninsula has to offer us this evening."
"Carlisle, I've taken the liberty to purchase new sheets for your bed," Alice began as she rearranged throw pillows she had just purchased on my couch.
"Alice, why would you do that? You know was well as I do that I never use the bed."
"Well, you never know. Maybe someone else will enjoy the comforts of one thousand thread Egyptian cotton, or the luxury of silk." She smiled to herself as she surveyed the placement of the pillows.
"I have a feeling there is something you are not telling me."
She sighed and sat gracefully on the couch. She patted the open space next to her for me to join her. "Come sit, Carlisle. There is something I'd like to talk to you about."
I nodded and sat down on the plush couch, crossing my legs. "I had a feeling you didn't just do all of this for nothing."
"You don't give me enough credit. Maybe I like buying new things. Trends constantly change, Carlisle. Sometimes a good freshening works wonders on one's mood."
I arched an eye at her but said nothing further.
"Oh please! You don't have to feel the emotions around here to know what's going on." She tapped her head lightly which earned a chuckle from me.
"So what is it? Is one of the nurses at work finally going to get their way with me? Let me try and guess here…" I trailed off, thinking of the women I worked with who publically threw themselves at me on a daily basis.
"Carlisle," Alice said with an exhasperated sigh, "you're going to meet your mate soon."
I froze in place at her words. I looked Alice over, analyzing her face just moments after the words had left her mouth. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I was finding it hard to formulate words.
"Hear me out," she said, holding up both hands. "I've been having these visions, very unclear visions, for about six months. I don't know who she is, because I myself have not met her. But Carlisle, she is your mate in every sense of the word. I've seen the outcome of her fate."
My ears perked up, yet my expressison stayed the same. Was Alice serious? Was I going to lead someone into this lifestyle? Would she know beforehand what she would be getting herself into? Would she be hurt, or ill, and I would use my ability to save her life?
"She's going to be like us," Alice stated. "I don't know how it happens, but I do know that she will love you so much and it won't matter to her what you are."
"You're sure about this?" I asked.
Alice glared at me. "Have I been wrong yet?"
"No," I said with a chuckle, finally able to show some sort of emotion other than shell shocked. "You haven't."
"Of course not. Unfortunately, I don't know when it's going to happen. I've only seen bits and pieces of your first meeting. Everything around the two of you is hazy. I can be certain of her outcome, though."
"Thank you, Alice," I said, patting her hand. "I appreciate you telling me this."
"I'm going to love her, Carlisle. She and I, we're going to be best friends," Alice added enthusiastically.
I smiled at Alice. "I'm glad, Alice. Truly, I am."
Jasper took that moment to join us in the living room. He looked from Alice to myself and smiled. Contentment, without his help, was present in the room.
"Alice, are you all set?" he asked.
"I'm ready," she replied.
"Where are you two headed?" I questioned.
"No where far," Alice replied. "Just Alaska."
"Send Carmen and Eleazer my love, will you?"
"Of course, Carlisle," Jasper said, walking over to shake my hand. "I guess dropping a hint to Tanya that you might need a companion is out of the question now, huh?"
"Oh, Jasper," I said with a smile and a sigh. "I'm not putting all of my eggs in one basket yet."
Alice made her way to the door and began collecting her and Jasper's belongings.
"Alice, let me help you with that," I said, grabbing a hold of her rolling suitcase.
I walked the two lovers outside and gave them each a hug and Alice a kiss on the cheek. The car fired up and as Jasper began to put the car in drive, Alice rolled her window down.
"Carlisle, I almost forgot to mention. I ran into Chief Swan while I was at Newton's. He asked me how college was going and I might have told him that Jasper and I were taking a year off to find ourselves," she said, rolling her eyes and making air quotes with her fingers. "Just wanted you to know in case he mentions anything to you."
"I'll keep that in mind Alice."
"Did you know that his daughter is living with him now? She moved here about six months ago from Arizona. She works there, you know? I got the chance to meet her. Lovely girl."
"I heard the news when she came to town, yes. Charlie told me himself but no, he never mentioned she was working at Newton's. I tend to try and stay out of the town gossip."
"Humph. Well then, maybe when Jasper and I return, I'll invite her over for a slumber party or something. Either way, I have a feeling I'll be seeing her again."
I never questioned Alice's motives. If she wanted to be friends with the Chief of Police's daughter I wasn't going to tell her it was a bad idea. I wasn't either girls' father. Alice was smart and the fact that she had the whole future seeing ability, I knew she would know if anything terrible happened.
"We'll see, Alice. You two have a safe trip." I said and waved to them.
"We will, Carlisle," Jasper said as he began to drive the car down the driveway.
Alice wasn't finished though. As the car was in motion, Alice stuck her head out of the window, calling after me. "One more thing, Carlisle. Have your brokers reinvest your BP stock. Things aren't going to be looking so hot for them in the future."
I nodded my reply and watched as the two of them disappeared, away from our home.
A/N- so there you have it. The first chapter. The entire story will be from Carlisle's POV. The story is already written and updates will come every Monday & Friday. I'm doing NaNo this year- starts today- so I had to make sure I had this completed because I've been itching to post it. Let me know what you think so far! Until then, I'll see you on Friday!
A/N- so there you have it. The first chapter. The entire story will be from Carlisle's POV. The story is already written and updates will come every Monday & Friday. I'm doing NaNo this year- starts today- so I had to make sure I had this completed because I've been itching to post it.
Let me know what you think so far! Until then, I'll see you on Friday!