Attention: I need a beta, quiet badly it would seem. Would anyone be willing to help me in that department?

Please send me a message if you would like the job. I have ideas that need cohesiveness and I make grammatical errors out the whazoo…as a warning.

I own nothing because it all belongs to Bioware. Also one obscure reference to a coming strip called 'help is on the way'.

Rating is yet to be decided; right now it stands at T, for cursing, violence, and mild innuendo.


I cannot tell you the sheer horror that comes from having a templar, one you barely know mind you, giving you the 'You're a wonderful girl but I don't feel that way about you' speech. Also he is doing a terrible job of it which only makes the situation even more humiliating for me. Andraste's ass! What is this man going on about?

That's when all the comments and questions today make sense. Holy Maker's left testicle! This templar, a man named Cullen, thinks that I am in love with him. My knees feel slightly weak and I want to be ill. I think he has noticed my pale face or the look that I don't doubt has crossed my face.

"P-P-Please don't cry." He tells me shaking his hands around like that would stop me if I wanted to cry. I don't want to cry. I want to die from mortification. Judging from the way people have been looking at me all day, everyone in the tower thinks the truth about something that isn't real.

How did this happen? Oh, I have a feeling. I have a feeling it was that little entropy mage tart-harlot, named Meghan. She and I have never really gotten along. I'm a student of the school of creation. Meghan is a fantastic student at the art of being a dried-up slut. I am nice to people where she is incredibly cruel. I am a friend to most and she to none. I am not a hooker-bitch. She is. I bet you can see the problem already. Perhaps I am being a tad unkind, but right now staring at the nervous face of the Templar Cullen and to hear him tell me that there is 'someone out there for me', makes me want to kill her.

I mean literally kill her. I'm not being glib. I am so furious right now, I could spit acid. Well, if I could spit acid I would. I'm not sure what you have heard, but no, mages can't shoot lightening out of their eyes or spit acid. We do however, have a delightful disposition brought about by forced seclusion, and we are astoundingly wonderful joke-tellers.

But I am off topic aren't I?

Where was I? Oh yes, death to Meghan. I have no idea what she has actually told everyone. Then again she could have said one thing and the rumor-mill of the tower has turned it into an epic tale of some sad love tale. You have to understand…we are all locked into one area with nothing to do to pass the time with the exception of fighting, studying, and fornication. All of which do get tedious after a while. However, gossip seems to keep people fêted for months.

Rumors go around all the time about who is into some illegal activity, whom is planning on escaping, and my personal fade nightmare; whom loves whom. I bring my hands to my face to cover my fury. I tremble with the effort it takes not to run screaming out of this hall and zap the little instigator of this rumor to bits.

Apparently, it would seem that Cullen thinks I am crying. I say that because he awkwardly places one hand on my shoulder and pats it. He clears his throat and a few strangled noises press past his lips. Dear Maker let me kill them all. Is that too much to ask? Truly? Well you're a right bastard anyway Maker and the worst part is I already know you aren't listening.

This tower gets to you.

I shield my face with one hand the best I can and bring the other up in 'just stop' gesture. The effect is immediate and Cullen hastily steps back. I wave him off because I have listened to his attempts to let me down gently for the last half hour. I would welcome any abomination past or present to please come and do their worst before I would hear that speech again.

This has to be a nightmare. I have only spoken to Cullen an astounding number of four times. Really, it was just the four. I can name the events for you right now. The first time was when he had just come to the tower and all I said was 'Well met. I'm Solona." That was the entire conversation on my part.

The second time, I had eaten my fill at breakfast and gone to study in the library. I already knew I would be hungry later so I had filched a snack. I had been there for two or so hours when I heard his stomach rumble. To be honest, I wasn't even aware it was the same templar I had met six days ago. Being that I had a snack and could sympathize that standing around doing nothing was tiring, I offered him my snack. He took it with a little reservation but a lot of thanks. I had thought nothing of it at the time.

I had been running after Jowan the third time I spoke to Cullen. Jowan had knocked into the walking armory, and almost toppled them both. I grimaced at the sound of flesh hitting metal and slowed down to help Jowan up. Cullen had told us not to run in the halls. I said "Alright."

This was the fourth time I have ever spoken to him. It was humiliating. No I don't think humiliating is strong enough. It was like a hot slice of death served with public defamation of character. Yummy!

My stride is purposeful as I seek out my 'friend' Jowan. I would get Meghan later, after I knew everything that was being said about me. Jowan would be in the apprentice quarters like he always was…well if he wasn't off with his love interest. Who I still haven't met by the way! Now I am angry for two reasons and someone is going to pay for it.

Not me of course, because that would be absurd.

The door to the apprentice room is always open and that makes it easy to make a commanding entrance; Something I need right now. The room is full of my fellow mages and classmates who are staring at me with gazes ranging from pity to fear. I will provide death to the pity and mercy for the fear.

Jowan comes slowly toward me and he is fidgeting like a leave caught in a wind storm. Squirm you bastard.

"Jowan…my friend" I stress the word and watch him flinch. "What, in the name of the Maker's but hole, is going on?" I do enjoy how I can keep my voice so calm as I watch a hush fall over the room.

"Oh Solona, we are so sorry." His dark eyes glitter in pity for me. Well thanks, but that doesn't answer my question.

"Sorry for me?" I can't help but repeat it dumbly, even though I am pretty upset. I notice that everyone is looking away from me now. I crane my head around. How many apprentices are in here? There as to be at least two-thirds of them crammed around my bed.

"Well…yeah…I mean…we all heard…" His voice trailed off and I raised an eyebrow. Oh this was going to be good. What had they heard? I stared at them expectantly.

"Well, Solona, you see. I heard from Christie, who heard from Anders, who heard from Surana, who heard form Theodore, who heard from Jack, who heard form Adam, who heard from Petra, who heard from Gideon, who spoke to Carla; who said that she had talked to someone who had talked to you; that you were in love with Cullen." A girl I only half recognize launches on Jowan's behalf. I must admit I am impressed that she could say that all in one breath... she must have had practice talking for prolo-….wait. What? WHAT!

Then the nightmare just gets worse. "I heard from Everett that you told all of your fellow creation mages that you wanted to bear Cullen's children." A voice from my right draws my attention.

"I thought you said, Erika said, that she wanted to have no less than a dozen children with Cullen!" A woman's voice argues sharply with the voice from my right.

"No no no, I said that Erika said that Bryan said that Solona had told Cullen that she wanted a dozen children but that he had been left speechless. So, Solona had declared her intentions to her whole class of creation mages." The first voice argued back.

A dozen children? One dozen. As in twelve screaming, snorting, pooping, crying, and needy little humans? Are they insane? They must be. Do they have any idea how much time, effort, and money it would cost to raise that many children. Do I look like I am just going to be popping out kids left and right?

"Really? I heard that you two were going to try and run away from the tower… that is why I offered to help you hide your tracks." Oh well that would explain the odd conversation with Jack earlier.

"I was told by Ser Terrance that you two were secret lovers already and it was suspected that you were already in the family way!"Jowan explained in surprise. Oh he was surprised? Even the Templars were talking about this? I feel dizzy, like really really dizzy. What the fade is wrong with these people? Jowan of all people should know that I have never even kissed a boy.

I am going to murder them all. Watch me. I will get a large and knife and wait until they are all sleeping. After the first three or so it should just be a matter of a quick jerk of the knife and they will all be dead. Then I will make a poncho out of their hides.

I have had enough. Truly, there is only so much a girl can stand. "WHO!" I thundered across the room watching them jump in shock and forget their petty squabbles over my imagined love life. "Who started all of this?" I am near ready to call forward demons just to enact my revenge on the perpetrator. I would never live this down. You don't understand. We are a very small community of people and no matter what I do, most of them will think that I still harbor a deep seeded love of Cullen. I could never so much as look at the man again and still somehow we would be star-crossed lovers that everyone would talk about.

Maker please let the Orlesians attack us right now.

The hush that has fallen over them all again only further irritates me. All of your lips were moving so freely before, but now none of you will utter one sodding word?

"WHO?" I shouted at the top of my lungs. My reputation is already in ruins. So that really is a bonus when going on a near demonic –rage around the tower. I like to look at the positive side when possible. It's just who I am.

Jowan darts his beady eyes back at me. I glare at him because this has got to be the most unbelievable rumor I have ever heard. Have any of these people met Cullen? He is like a stray puppy! He is all feet and eyes. They couldn't have thought of this with a more…oh I don't know…believable male? Even Knight-Commander Greagoire would have been a better fit!

"It was Meghan…" Jowan said quietly and they all held their breath waiting on my reaction. I called it. That damn hooker-bitch! You know, I have no idea how that froth came out of my mouth. I walk steadily over to my bed and grab my staff. I'm going witch hunting.


Well…I was going witch hunting. However, it would seem that just about everyone in this whole forsaken tower seems to know that I have been 'dumped'. I bite my tongue back painfully each time. No one seems to understand that one has to be dating, in order to be dumped. I tried a few times to correct people. I honestly did.

Until Second Enchanter Wynne, a woman I found to be like a mother to me; pulled me in her arms as I marched like a warrior down the halls. Yeah…it was difficult. Her embrace was strong and comforting at the same time. She smoothed my hair and whispered reassuring words into my ear. Now that part wasn't so bad. It was the fact that the other victim of the rumor happened to be in the same room. Is there a description beyond utterly tense? If there is, than this situation was it. Cullen, the poor misguided guy, was looking like he had betrayed the chantry or something equally sordid. The man looked ashamed. I pitied him for feeling so terrible over this because I really am not devastated. I don't even love the man!

I try to untangle myself from Wynne. "Truly I am fine!" I stressed a little too much perhaps because she looks close to tears.

"You are so brave little one." She pulls me into a tighter hug. "You will be fine. I know it hurts now. Trust me I know; but give it time and the pain will fade." I adore Wynne any other time than right this moment. This is just beyond mortifying.

"Wynne, I know what you might have heard, but-" I can't stand pity. I really can't. However, everyone seems to want to heap it on me like there is no tomorrow.

"Chin up dear girl. One day there will be a man that deserves your love." I saw her through a rather nasty look at Cullen. I want to beat my head against a wall. It's not his fault, its Meghan's and she will pay for it. Once I find a shovel and a shark that can live in a pool of acid. "When that day comes you will forget all about this." She finally let me go. I can't believe my ears. How many people are going to try and reassure me that there is someone out there for me? I know there has to be! It's a statistical improbability that there would not be someone out there for me.

Uh-oh. I see she is rounding on Cullen. "And you!" her boney finger points at him with distain. Oh no… stern Wynne. Well that old sense of panic is still intact, even if she is not coming after me. "You ought to be ashamed young man for crushing a poor girl's heart!" Oh dear Maker. No. The black city would be better than this.

"Wynne! Please stop. Ser Cullen has done nothing wrong. I am fine Wynne. Really it's fine." I sound desperate because I am. Hands down, this is the worst day of my life. They are both looking at me like I have grown a second head. My hands itch. I hate being stared at too.

I don't say a word as I continue marching toward my destination; the final resting place of Meghan the rumor starting floozy. However, it would seem that she has some sort of divine protection. I am stopped by Knight-Commander Greagoire on the fourth floor. I'm really pissed by this point, I am sure you can understand. I don't want to talk to him, I want blood. A lot of blood from one person.

Oh come on! Even Greagoire is looking at me sadly. I hate the circle. The least they could do is have the common decency to look disgusted, or angry, and heck I would even take mildly gassy. It is extremely to have someone who normally hates your existence look at you with sympathy.

"Mage Amell." I snapped my gaze up to meet his even though it's the last thing I want to do. I sigh.

"Yes Knight-Commander?" Alright. Let's get this over with. Bring on the speech about how I 'deserve love' and how I am 'very special'. Just let me get to beat the ever living magic out of the person that started all of this.

"I know about what happened." He looks at me and I stare right back.

"You-You do?" I am pleasantly surprised. Perhaps he will allow me to take Meghan into a private room and once I am finished he will help me dispose of the body. I think I was wrong about him. Greagoire is alright for an old crotchety templar!

"Yes." He shifts to the side and I almost think for a moment there that he is giving me leeway to pass. He's a good guy at heart after all. Who knew? I most certainly didn't. "I…I am sorry for your…loss." His words are carefully chosen and I feel the sharp pang of disappointment.

Ah. So he thought I was in love with Cullen as well. Fade take it all! "Uh…Thank…you?" I force it out as quickly as I can and try to get around him once again.

"You know a mage and a Templar would only end in tragedy." His voice was soft and firm.

Yes, yes, I get it. The two are never meant to be. All that lies between them is an unholy union. Abomination station. "Yes I know." It is really hard to keep the irritation out of my voice. I want to go hide in my room and shut everyone out. I can't do that until enact a small amount of bodily harm.

" I didn't do it to harm you child." that regret I hear? "I wanted to spare you the pain that I endured." Maker's soggy balls! I am not having a heart to heart with Knight-Commander Greagoire! I quickly look for an escape route. I will have to regroup and attack Meghan later. "She was beautiful you know." His deep timber reverberated against the horror welling in my chest. No! No sappy chats! "I loved her far beyond what was acceptable." If I clawed my ears off, would the pain distract me enough not to hear this? "She was the very light in my life. The way she brought joy into a room or the way the sun caught her red hair…"

Can't take it. Going to explode. "I have to go!" I pushed past him and near ran down the length of the hall. I rushed into the first room I could find and slammed the door behind me.

"Oh!" Came a surprised gasp behind me. "S-Solona. What are you doing here?"

Hooker-bitch. I have been looking for you. I didn't say a word as I launched myself on her. I grabbed her short black hair and claw at her face. I have no fighting experience. I have no shame about that. My hands are open as I slap her about. I think I fight similarly to a cat. I alternated between clawing and broad swinging of my hands and fists. She fights back against me.

There is screeching and cursing. I knocked her to the ground. She is on her back, a position I am sure she knows well. I couldn't tell you how long we fought for. I feel myself being lifted off of her and that is the next thing I remember. Greagoire and three other Templars , with the exception of the one still holding my arms, are looking at me with open mouthed shock.

Hm… I might not have thought this one through.