This is my first Tudor fic. I know that Anne is really out of character, sorry, but I like to think that she's not all ambition you know?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything
People say that they see their whole life flash before their eyes before they die. Well, I had time to think about what I wanted to see. I didn't want to see my whole life. I didn't want to see my failures, and I didn't want to see my triumphs either. I wanted to see further back in my past. When I was standing on the scaffold, there was only one memory that I wanted to see.
It's funny really, no one would ever imagine that I would cherish this memory the most. Most people probably think that my coronation would be my choice recollection, or maybe the birth of my beloved daughter, Elizabeth.
There are two people who might not be surprised if they knew. My brother and sister, George and Mary. The three of us were the best of friends. We knew each other so well. But I destroyed that with my jealousy and my scheming to get to the throne. I do not regret becoming queen, but I regret only having the throne for a few short years. My greatest regret is pushing my only two friends away.
Mary I pushed away cruelly. I took her place and banished her. I know I took everything from her: her lover and her son. At the time I felt no remorse, but now, at the end I wish that I hadn't. George I pushed away by death. If only my court hadn't become so dark, there was too much intrigue for even me to handle without the help of my family, which I had lost. They accused the two of us of adultery. And I lost my brother, my friends, my admirers, my crown and my dignity. The only thing I gained was some favor from the people. Finally! After years of hating me, they were actually upset at the prospect of my death. But it was too late, nothing would change Henry's mind.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever would have done this if I had been allowed to stay with my only true love, Henry Percy. I loved him so much even though we were so different. But my memory isn't of him either.
My memory is this. I am seven years old. My parents brought us back from France for the summer and we are in the golden wheat fields at Hever Castle. George, Mary and I had just run a race through the tall grasses and we were dipping our feet into the cool pond water to cool off. We splashed around and were laughing, but I remember more. We were just talking, having an unimportant conversation about childish things. There were no worries for us back then. I can't even remember what we were saying. I just remember that it was a wonderful day. We were home, we were together, we were happy and peaceful. Peace is something that I have not felt for a long time.
I suppose that will be one good thing about death.
I'm kneeling now, I know that I have seconds left to live.
It terrifies me, but I am ready for it. My time has come.
The last thing I want to see is my sister. I know that she will have come, she would not abandon me. Despite everything, we are still sisters, she is still my best friend, my only friend that is still alive. I feel the vibrations of the scaffold, the executioner is coming towards me. I panic internally, I cannot find her. But then I see her, for a split second. She sees me too, I can tell. I smile, ever so slightly. I wonder if she remembers the wheat field at Hever, where we could have fun, before court ambitions got in the way.
She probably does, Mary always preferred the country to court. Mary always had a heart of gold. And I always took her for granted. That is probably one of my deepest secrets, even deeper than all my sins. I, Anne Boleyn, the Queen of England, always was jealous of my little sister, who has a happy and simple life, while I stand on a scaffold and the sword swings through the air I wish…