Okay, this is my first Harry Potter fic. now you have been warned.

I have gone around with this idea for a while and now I wanted to try it out. I hope you will like it.

Warning: light bashing, abuse, death and whatever else I can come up with.

Disclaimer: Does Hedwig live in the end of the HP books? No? Then I do not own Harry Potter. That would be J.K. Rowling.

Thanks to angelhitomie this story is being betaed, so while it may take time the quality will be better.

August 29, 2011

He was many things.

A boy

A freak

A celebrity

A hero

A weirdo

A liar

And the newest one: A murderer.

What he most of all wanted to be was Harry just Harry. He wondered what it would be like to be able to go down the street without anyone recognising him.

He would just be Harry James Potter the only child of James Potter and Lilly Potter nee Evans.

The thought made the nearly sixteen-year-old boy smile. He would never just be Harry. Even his family, who he was supposed to spend yet another summer vacation with, didn't see him as Harry.

To them he was a freak.

An abnormality.

Someone who took up space in their house and they would rather treat him like a houseelf, though they did not know what it was, than as a part of the family.

Until school started he had not even known his own name. When the teacher had called for a Harry Potter no one had reacted. After all the other children had been seated he had been the only one standing. Waiting for someone to call out his name so he could go and sit with the other children.

The teacher had kneeled down in front of him and asked for his name. Harry remembered looking at her with his unnatural green eyes before he had answered. "Boy."

That night he had gotten his first real beating. But it had not been the last one.

Now, fifteen-years-old, he sat alone in the castle called Hogwarts and looked out of the window next to his bed in the Gryffindor tower, one of the four houses in the castle.

Hogwarts was a school where witches and wizards could attend from they were eleven. There, hidden from the sight of muggles, they learned about the magical world.

He watched as the other students made their way to the carriages which would take them to the train. From there they would go to the station in London where their families would be waiting for them to arrive.

He had been ordered to stay back because the headmaster, Albus fucking Dumbledore, wanted to have yet another talk with him.

Harry snorted at the thought. He was not sure he could take another one of those talks. Ever since his godfather, Sirius Black, had died all the teachers had treated him as if he was a bomb ready to blow up if they moved or said a single wrong word.

…After what had happened in the headmaster's office he could not blame them for thinking so.

With a deep sigh Harry got up from his seat. No matter how much he wanted to stay away he had to show up. After whatever the headmaster had planned for him someone would escort him so he could spend another summer in a living hell, also know as Privet Drive number 4 where his relatives lived.

Slowly Harry made his way out of the portrait which hides the entrance to the Gryffindor tower from plain view and walked through the empty corridors. Only seeing a ghost once in a while. Otherwise he felt like the only living being in the whole place.

He dragged his trunk after him. Hedwig, his owl, would be left at the school where Hagrid could take care of her. That way his uncle Vernon would not be able to do anything to her this year.

"Mr. Potter. Should you not be on the train with your friends on your way home to get pampered by your family? I am sure your fan club would cry if they knew you were about to miss the train." The sneering voice told him who it was without him having to turn around to look.

"The headmaster ordered me to get to his office to yet another one of his talks. So if you would please excuse me. I don't want to be late for that." He tried to step around the potion master but the older man followed his movements so he had to stop.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for disrespect for a teacher." Harry just raised an eyebrow in a similar manner to what Severus Snape said potion master normally did in his lessons. He was not going to let to great bat of the dungeons nook him down. "Unfortunately, professor, the school year is over so you can't take away points from the houses."

His smile disappeared when the potion master suddenly hovered over him. Harry scowled inside his head. Due to malnourishment in his younger years he was smaller and more petite than the rest of the boys in his year. Hell, even Hermione Granger, one of his best friends, was taller than him.

The greasy-haired head of Slytherin glared and Harry swallowed. Why had he not listened when the little voice in his head had told him to keep his mouth shut? It was the same voice he usually ignored when he was about to do something which would lead him into troubles.

"Detention with me Potter as soon as the school year starts again. You will meet at my office seven o'clock. You do not want to know what will happen if you are to be late, believe me. Hurry up before I decide that it will not be enough punishment for you."


The last part was added after another glare from the teacher.

Harry hurried down the corridor. He would not risk spending more time with the bat than necessary. Besides he was already about to be late for his meeting with the headmaster.

Cursing Harry started running as soon as he was sure that Snape was nowhere in sight. Down the corridors and up the stairs. The Harry hunting as his cousin, Dudley, liked to play paid of as he arrived in front of the gargoyle hiding the headmaster's office only five minutes late.

"Blood pops." Harry stepped forward as the statue moved aside. For once the headmaster didn't make him try to figure out the password. For some reason that fact didn't calm him as it was supposed to do.

"Come in." Harry stepped inside the office only to find the headmaster seated behind his table. The man looked like he was too old to lead a school. His beard reached his stomach. It made him wonder if the headmaster was able to hide anything in there. How many would think he could take forth a wand from there? He had to look away so he wouldn't start laughing at the thought.

"Hello, my dear boy. Have a seat. Do you want anything, tea, Lemon Drop?"

"No, thank you professor." Harry mumbled. He wished he was not alone with the headmaster. The way the man was looking at him made him want to crawl into a hole and hide though he did not understand why. "Umm, you wanted to see me?"

Looking around in the office he found that most of the things had been put back at their originally place after his little magical outburst. However he noted that the headmaster had fewer weird things standing at his table than before. Maybe he had not been able to repair all of his things.

When the silence continued Harry started to move a little in the chair he was seated. Normally the headmaster and he would have no problems with talking to each others. He actually saw the headmaster as the grandfather he had never had. But today things seemed different through he could not say what it was.

The headmaster was dressed in his usually colourful robes. This time it was orange mixed with pink dots. Harry wondered who had inspired the headmaster to dress like that. Or had he always been like that. He tried to think how a young Dumbledore would look in those clothes but found it impossible to see him different from what he looked like now.

"Yes, I wanted to talk with you about something." Now Harry noticed that the usual annoying twinkle was gone from the headmaster's eyes. Instead a man who gave of the same scary aura as Voldemort sat in front of him.

He gulped and forced himself to look away from the headmaster's eyes. From the lessons with Snape he knew how Legilimency worked. As long as he did not look him into the eyes the headmaster would not be able to get into his mind.

As if the headmaster knew what he was doing the older man frowned. "Harry, is something wrong? Something you are not telling me about? You know you can come to me with anything that might bother you."

The boy-who-lived kept his head bowed. He was not sure what to think of the headmaster anymore. After all, the man had kept important information from him. Pieces of information which could have saved his godfather's life. If he just had told him Sirius would still have been alive.

Harry blinked the tears away before they could fall. He was not going to let the headmaster see him cry. He did not need the man's pity. Hell, he did not need anyone's pity.

"I will take your silence as a no. Do you know why I asked you to come here today?" The boy-who-lived could only shake his head. His interest was awoken by the headmaster's words. It seemed like they wouldn't have the talk he had feared so much.

"Once I knew a man. He was a brilliant man with great ideas and big ambitions. He wanted nothing than to be left alone but still managed to create rebellion around him. He was a dangerous man who nearly destroyed the plans I have for this world."

Dumbledore paused as if he tried to decide how much he should tell him. Harry leaned forward in his chair, eager to hear more about the man Dumbledore was telling him about. "I gave him a lot of chances to see the light. Unfortunately he kept dragging others down with him. So I had to…take care of the problem he was."

Harry did not react when the headmaster stood up from his chair and slowly walked around the table until his was standing right in front of him. He tried to figure out what all this had to do with him. No one had ever told him about such a man.

"I hoped I would not have to do this." Harry blinked and starred with wide eyes at the wand pointed directly between his eyes. "Professor…?" He trailed of not sure how to continue. Sure, this was a joke. In a minute the headmaster would start laughing and they could go back to the way they had been.

When nothing happened Harry looked away from the wand and, for the first time since he entered the office, looked directly into the headmaster's blue eyes. "What are you doing?" His voice trembled a little. The man in front of him reminded him more of Voldemort than the old headmaster he had known for five years by now.

"You are starting to become more like him. I can't let you chose that way. Sure you understand that much, Harry. This is all for the greater good. I am sure that you will be able to forgive me."

Still trying to figure out what the headmaster meant Harry blinked. His eyes darted around. There had to be a way out of the office. The window was out of question since he didn't want to die just yet. The door was closed and probably also locked and warded. No way he would be able to get out that way.

All the paintings were empty. Maybe some of them had gone of looking for help. If he could just get more time some was bound to come in. Hell, even Snape would be more than welcome in the moment. Where was the great, greasy bat when you needed him the most?

"You are going to regret this Dumbledore."

"No, I am only doing this for the greater good. The world will forgive me. I can't let you be like him. It was him who destroyed all my plans and created the monster we all know as Voldemort."

Harry grabbed his trunk and tensed. He did not like the way this had turned.

Dumbledore smiled one of his gentle smiles which made him seem like a slightly confused grandfather. "Remember, my boy, death is just another big adventure."

The boy-who-lived opened his mouth to scream in hope that someone would hear him and come to his help.

"Avada Kedavra."

And then he knew no more.