Many thanks to vjgm for her awesomeness.

Thanks to LJ Summers, Fantasy Mother, and TwilightMomofTwo for the beta-ing.

Thanks to Mizra for pre-reading.

This piece is dedicated to Pomme_de_terre, a good friend through thick and thin.

This story is rated M due to mild snarkiness on the part of the author and references to violence, death, and battle.

Cullenary Coupling Extra – It's Always the Quiet Ones You Have to Watch - Bella and the Priestess One-shot

Snarky Summary – I know. I know. How the heck can you have a summary in a one-shot? Like this: Hi there! I'm Books. I write Cullenary Coupling, which is a satirical rewrite using an entirely different plot of the Twilight Saga. That means all four books packed into one file, so it's kind of long. If you haven't read that story, this probably won't make much sense. To make a short story long, Bella cut a deal with a powerful woman to kill Maria with extreme prejudice and extra ketchup on the side, and never told a soul prior to springing her trap. And Edward never saw it coming, which for the record has him all kinds of hysterical. This happened in the last chapter. This one-shot is intended to shed light into Bella, as well as the priestess who aided her.

Things you need to know/remember in order for this to make sense are as follows: Tipped off by traitorous Maria, who was a servant in Caius' household, Marcus' family were ambushed by his enemies. Those that survived scattered to the corners of the earth where they lived unaware of one another and hid from the Volturi. In the attack, almost all of Marcus' children died, including his oldest four newly turned sons. When news reached him, Marcus went mad with grief.

He begged his mother to intercede. She reminded him that she had warned him against marrying that woman and having children with her – that combining the houses would result in too much power and bring on the rage of the gods. Gee, thanks, nice time to do, "I told you so," Mommy Sneerest. She's clearly winning the June Cleaver award of the immortal world.

After consulting the gods, the priestess offered Marcus a deal – a thousand years away from his mate and he would have four children returned from the dead, she'd toss in his massacred three lost legions as a bonus, and she'd help him kill the demon that attacked the family. The catch? Marcus had to pick which children lived and which stayed dead. Appalled, Marcus finally told her to send him the four strongest. Marcus defeated the demon, slaughtered his enemies, and returned to the other Volturi where he served out his sentence in utter silence.

A thousand years passed, Marcus had done his time, had four children returned to him along with his legions. So Marcus, the Cullens, and their allies have been waiting in Washington State for Maria and her Southern Coven army to attack. In the last chapter Bella vanished and Edward believed her kidnapped lost his temper and went chasing after her trail. He was all kinds of upset to find her saying, "About time you got here – by the way I went looking for her because she was taking too darn long." A fight ensued and Maria went to the great ash-heap in the sky after the priestess made an appearance. Bella admitted that she had cut a deal with the priestess to hurry things along.

This is the story of how that deal came about told from the viewpoint of the priestess: Marcus' Mother. Bella is sniffing that she can't help it if men constantly underestimate her due to their limited imaginations. Oh, and she's tapping me on the shoulder and telling me to tell Edward, "Gotcha." Wait. I think he just fainted. If that mild of a shock does that to him, then I have no idea how this man is ever going to survive sex. And with that, let's begin our tale after the standard don't-sue-me-lawyer bits.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction. So there.

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."

-Agatha Christie

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."

- Maya Angelou

Once I had dwelled among the gods and goddesses. Then I had made the mistake of bearing several children that had shown the potential to have unprecedented power as they had matured. In so doing, it had sparked the wrath of the other gods. In the case of my family, the hand that had rocked the cradle had ruined my world.

Faith proved to be my downfall. I had begged my husband to lay down his arms. I had pleaded for him to accept a vote at a summit. We could reason with them, I had insisted.

After all, we were family. Our children played together. The others simply needed to hear our logic. How I lived to regret that plea. For love, he followed my lead. For love, we went to the council.

They had voted that all the children should die. Their father and I had put up a fight. Foolishly, I had been willing to make any bargain. As a result, in exchange that one of our children would live – they would not give my mate or me the choice of which; I had to give the gods and goddesses time in recompense away from my husband. Imprudently, I had agreed to their price before my husband could declare war. I had believed that I had conceded nothing that would harm our family: that our children were strong enough to survive any trick of the gods. With the passage of each moment since, I had lived to regret my actions.

The gods and goddesses knew how to punish and had made cruelty a peerless art. Agony comes not from being powerless to prevent the destruction of your loved ones. It burns the soul to the quick when you instead possess the ability, but know if you use it that something far worse would happen. Now that was vengeance.

First, my daughter had died in childbed; the babe had perished with her. No matter what technique I had employed to stop the bleeding, she had slipped through my fingers, my granddaughter as well after two weak breaths in my shaking hands. I had never been an emotional person: their loss had left me too stunned to feel anything I could label.

Then my older sons and their families over a period of weeks had fallen by sword, flame, and poison. Marcus had been the only one left standing when his family had been ambushed and almost all of his children and soldiers had been slain. The only reason, ironically, that they had permitted him to live was because as a vampire, he was the weakest of my children that had been alive at the time. Besides, everyone knew vampires were sterile.

Marcus had come to me begging for succor at the temple where I had been enslaved by my own tongue. The gods and goddesses had forced me to bargain with my son for the lives of his children. They had agreed, if he too would separate from his mate for a thousand years, to bring back four of the dead. Eyes spitting grief and hate, I had not seen my son since. Add to it years confined to a filthy cave for one who lived aboveground in splendor at my spouse's side – and you had a feast of god-like proportions upon my entrails.

In the time that had passed, people had traversed the globe for centuries to seek my counsel, offering me emeralds, gold coins, silver words, and every kind of animal one could imagine. Earnest Edward amused me so, while trying to finagle his way into my affections with heartfelt bribes. I had no intention of letting him know he was one of the few I had met in over a millennium that had succeeded with a simple gesture. It would have gone to his head – which had already seemed full of strange notions. He had kept me out of most of his mind, so I had used what time I had with him to learn about the world and the language humans now spoke.

His powers intrigued me. Primitive, they were nothing like mine; but I held the advantage of time and the bitter broken road of experience. Give that man a thousand years of proper training, and he could set the world alight.

Since he had joined my family by allying with the Volturi, I now had to watch over him. The past thousand years of being without his mate had weakened Marcus. Young Edward would not learn much of use from that hollow-jawed Quileute spirit Hezekiah who claimed to teach him. His control over his gifts seemed haphazard at best.

Searching for answers, I studied the portrait of the girl. No one had ever made a drawing for me. I was no judge to decide if it was fair or foul. She had unusual eyes for such a young person. Their depths captivated me, yet I could not tell why, not being one for useless sentiment. They reminded me of a statue I had seen of Athena. The man who had sculpted it made her seem wise and sad at once; like she had seen more than she should of your nature and had no intention of divulging your failings to another soul. Bella had a stubborn set to her jaw that reminded me of my long dead, headstrong daughter. Like water falling over a cliff, I could not stay away from the approaching ground, pinned by the gravity of her stare. I had to see this Bella; this new purportedly human piece of me. It was my nature.

'Twas easy to find her since Edward had visited and had no idea how to conceal his trail. I would have to find another time to correct him on his lackadaisical work. I kept my presence unknown from all – the gods be damned. My son was not even making a token attempt to be subtle and conceal his amassed power and forces. Surely Marcus must have kept Edward ignorant of how to hide his path for a reason.

Slipping through Marcus' traps and past his guards showed me he had grown in creativity, but proved no real challenge. So I strengthened them, to keep the other gods and goddesses from interfering with any who dwelled within. I left Marcus signs so he would recognize my handiwork although I did not alert him to my presence. A thousand years had passed since I had seen my son. For reasons I knew all too well, I doubted he would welcome the sight of me.

Earlier, Edward had left bearing a gift of a pendant for Bella from me. It had acted as a loadstone and had led me to her. I had been stunned at first.

Greedily, I took the sight of Bella in as she nestled against Edward's side. They both listened to some ghastly noise I believe they called music. Part of me lurked on the other side of the room waiting for enraged deities to attempt in vain to yank me from the room. In fury for my disobedience and meddling, the gods had forbidden me from tracking my children these ages past after that fateful day we forged an agreement. They had never said that I could not track their children, or their children's children. For Marcus' sake alone, I had resisted the temptation to follow my line. Until now.

Because of my blind dislike of Marcus' wife and all she portended, while the grandchildren had lived I had never met them. Instead, I had used my power to watch them from afar, and their minds had cried out to me the night they had been slain. They had possessed the sweetest voices in the mere seconds I had seen them caught between the edge of life and the underworld. In their current state, they slept untroubled.

I had felt the gods would have penalized me more had I woken the grandchildren to keep me company during my imprisonment - which for all the world looked like I worshiped and served them in a temple like Delphi. To remind me of my transgressions, the gods had insisted that I could only see their savaged bodies. It fueled my rage. The gods underestimated my wrath and offered the perfect fuel that had turned me into what I now was: an obsidian blade intent on severing my bonds.

Marcus' time of suffering to pay off his debt had been paid in full measure to the gods and goddesses. I, however, still felt content to protect and pay for the privilege of guarding my slain grandchildren. Years might have passed, but my ire at being forced to punish my son had not waned. Acting as their guardian represented the only way I could show Marcus my love that he would ever accept. Now I had another reason.

I had waited for a thousand years for such a sight as I watched Bella's sleeping face. It shames me not to confess that I wept without making a sound. From the short time I had watched, I had noticed that she had my daughter's lips, my grandson's hair, and the quietness of Marcus.

Shaking hands clenched into fists, and I swept the back of a palm against my wet face. If only Marcus had listened. If only he had not thrown aside the priceless gift of his pure nature to transform into such a debased form. If only he had not had so many children with that woman and had not tempted the wrath of those I had served. If only he would have guarded them better and heeded my warning. If only I had not been hobbled by my foolish promises. I would not have been condemned to being a hapless spectator at the decimation of my once immortal line. If only I could, as the humans said, 'forgive and forget,' yet I found I could not. I could only remember and respond when the time was right. And the time for a reaping had come to pass.

Once I saw the picture of the girl, I vowed that my days of servitude had ended. I summoned power I had hidden away and I cared not who knew.

"What are you doing?" roared a bass voice – a colleague who had not deigned to acknowledge my presence for two thousand years. He expected me to tremble in return. I batted away his power like a cat would a ball of string.

"What I must." I answered. "Do not interfere. I no longer serve any one but myself."

As I expected, a powerful blast came from the heavens aimed at my lair – at my grandchildren's souls. From the screams I heard in response, they had not anticipated the resistance that they had encountered. One attacker had actually died. That rarely happened in our world. I believe I had sent my first message in breaking the most sacred of taboos: I was a god-killer. I had not even been physically present to kill the female that had attacked my former home. That was my second. The fact that the one that I had slain without a second thought was my own sister? That served as the final message. After that, what really was left to say?

"Fool!" The voice hissed but faded as I expected in a fit of self-preservation. He would not hinder me. I smelled his awakened fear. Gods were not supposed to be harmed like that. I surveyed my realm with disgust and made my displeasure known. The gods and goddesses had let it fall into ruin and had broken their word.

Since the other gods had neglected to keep their side of our bargain, I felt no qualm at abandoning mine. This would take time to repair. My realm was now filled with strange spirits – like those that had shaped Edward.

Invisible to all within the dwelling, now I simply had to wait and bide my time. I would learn more when she slept as all humans must. After all this time, I had thought naught on this realm could surprise me. Seeing Edward fall asleep by her side – I sent a message that a certain smooth-talking Quileute spirit by the name of Hezekiah had more explaining to do.

Ordinary vampires did not have heartbeats and they certainly did not sleep. Those faulty trinkets that Marcus' mate had ordered made to protect her children's nurses hung from a chain around Bella's neck. They sat by another one like two naughty children peeking up at me hiding their sins behind their backs. Both had been fashioned and blessed by the same charlatan who had doubtlessly overcharged for his pathetic work. Considering that it had failed so spectacularly all those years ago, I was surprised they let Bella wear one, much less two of them. Both pendants set off a pretty white light – more sleight of hand tricks than actual substance.

I strengthened the crude shields that were on the dozing couple. In her weakened state, I could not have him – or any other fiend - biting Bella. I had plans, provided she showed the right mettle. Those gyrfalcons that spiritually perched on the couple's souls and guarded them from harm, once I talked to them, proved to be a charming lot of rascals. So I made them stronger, and in return for the favor they swore to protect my heirs.

If I had my way, Edward and Bella would soon have need of the increased security. I called upon my fecund rage. I needed it now more than ever. The earth heard my cry and answered my need.

The gyrfalcons were gaudy in color, so I made them darker to send the clear message that their creator possessed great strength. After witnessing the uneven play of it around him, I decided that Edward's power required adjusting. I did what I could without being too obvious. The primitive but effective bindings on him from the spell made it difficult to do much.

When impatient Marcus had debased his nature and had allowed himself to be changed into one of those life-stealing parasites, I had raged. All the signs from the gods had pointed to disaster and bloodshed. Despite my warnings, he had ignored me, impatient for influence. He had not had the time to study at my side or his father's to learn how to use his innate gifts. It took years of training to achieve god-like status. Had he simply done as I had suggested, the man would have possessed the power and the living children. He had ventured from his path and had fallen in love with the wrong woman. Love of that strength between such a man and such a woman always costs dear. And the gods had demanded a price for having that much power in one line. Everything required balance. I had been convinced for the past thousand years that my line had ended.

I had been helpless to interfere to save my grandchildren. I had wept while watching their slaughter at enemy hands as the other gods watched pitilessly. When I had snatched their souls from the demon's claws that killed them, I had broken every rule. I had paid – still paid for the offense against the gods – well one in particular. The lord of the underworld had not been amused at the loss of such powerful souls. I had cared not, and he was long used to my scorn. They were mine, and I was not handing them over to some demon to torment them in Hades' hall since they had died at a demon's hands. Whereas Marcus suffered from being separated from his mate, the gods punished me by making it painful to guard my grandchildren – to keep them safe.

Vampires could not bear young and multiply like me and mine or humans could. Even with the inventions that those humans had made – Bella's existence made no sense. That meant some magick had been involved. And powerful magick always demanded a price – a steep one. There was only one with power strong enough and the fearlessness from the wrath of the gods to make her: Marcus' father. What had he done? My visions offered me no aid. So I ripped the fetters I had accepted ages past and cast them to the sky. I would no longer act the role of the suffering immortal, cowed by others. I called out to my husband and showed him an image of Bella.

"What have you done? Where have you been? She has needed us," I scolded. I could not help but smile at the sound of his voice. It was the first contact we had been permitted in a millennium.

"Hiding her and you have undone all my efforts, dear one."

Watching Bella, I detected an unsteady heart, and weak lungs. What had Edward been feeding her? I studied the power around them. Damned vampires. I could see the weaves of their mate bond wrapped around her trying to become one with her nature. Since she was human, this was bound to a bad end. Marcus' mate, before the gods had ripped her from my begrudging care, had suffered similarly, except she had been with child. Knowing her, she had probably had him turned as well if he had survived childbirth. I searched for his mind. Ah, sadly, I was right. I reached out over the entire world – indeed the only remnants of my once-powerful line – except for Bella – were all blood sucking vampires.

I had to save what I could. My typical dwelling would harm Bella. I decided we would meet elsewhere. Leaving her body in place under the arm of the unsuspecting Edward, I brought her spirit to a small room that I had never used. With pillows on the ground, it had been designed to show hospitality for guests. I created a garden in vivid yellows, blues, violets and reds to brighten the place and had the sun shining.

She rubbed at her eyes, sounding sleepy as she sat up. "Who are you?"

Odd, initially she did not appear to be disturbed, waking up in a strange location.

"I am your Great Grandmother. The reason Edward stank so foul earlier this eve." I offered her a hesitant smile. Her heartbeat raced. I feared baring my teeth could send her screaming.

"Oh. Wow." She sniffed. "It does not smell that bad here." She stared in appreciation at the flowers I had growing around the room.

"That is because I like you."

She stiffened. Loyal little thing.

"Child, I know your lungs are weak and did not want to risk harming you at my usual home. Do you find these flowers pleasing? If not, I can send them away."

"They're beautiful. What do I call you?"

No one had asked me that in so long. Even Edward.

"Gaia is my name. I have not used it for years."

Someone had raised her with manners. "Nice to meet you, Great-Grandmother Gaia," she inclined her head respectfully and held out her pale hand to me. I took it and felt a surge of power from her. The girl was strong – of a kind the average immortal would never sense unless she chose to show him or her. No wonder she still lived. I squeezed Bella's delicate hand and let it go.

"How old are you, Bella?"


She did not look that old. "You have no young?"

"No." She appeared startled.

In my time, I sighed, she would have been on her sixth or seventh child by now. Humans confused me. But she was not, by the smell of her, quite human.

"If you accept their vampire teeth on your neck, you never will."

"I am well aware." She stared at her hands.

"Bella. Meet my eyes. Otherwise, people believe you weak and it invites attack."

"Or they know what is on your mind." I saw a spark of defiance from her. Excellent.

"Why did you agree to be changed?"

"If I am no longer in a human body, then I cannot be hurt so easy. Immortals seem to want to kill me in droves. If I am like them, I can protect the family I have left."


She pushed away her hair that had fallen across her face and fleetingly touched the side of her skull. "I fall a lot. I have a head injury from when I was small. Last year, I got hurt in an attack because of Phoenix and that made it worse. So I am not very steady on my feet. If I were immortal, nothing would happen if I fell. Maybe I'd be more graceful or pretty."

"So you are not doing it to make Edward happy?"

She snorted. "Please. He doesn't want me immortal, either. The very idea repulses him." Bella turned her head and swallowed. She said, "He's making the best of it," to the lilies by her left hand.

Apparently, that lad was smarter than I gave him credit. The idea of this beautiful girl turned into a red-eyed demon was repugnant.

"So Edward said people asked you for things all the time."

"They used to when they believed in the gods. Few come to my door now."

"There's this vampire named Maria. She is building an army to come and kill everyone I love."


"I do not have all the details. They don't like talking about her around me. She is leading a rebellion against Marcus."

"Foolish chit."

"She's killed an awful lot of people so far. Grandfather Marcus said she had something to do with how my aunts and uncles died. I want her stopped." Now she had my attention. The demon that had killed my grandchildren had been destroyed. I knew that. But if this Maria had a role? I would kill her myself with my bare hands.

Humans in general could hide nothing from me. Bella appeared composed, but I could smell her stress. Her mind was a thing of wonder, because even I could not penetrate it without causing harm.

"I am sure Marcus will handle her. He is good with an army behind him."

I could see the traces of scars left from the injuries that she had described. Whoever had dropped her had literally cracked her skull.

Bella whispered, "He's making her come to him."

"That seems wise." She appeared to like the jasmine and ylang ylang, so I increased their scents a bit. Both were known for being calming to mortals.

"She is killing humans all across the United States for food and kicks."


"Sorry. That means 'fun.' Maria burned down an entire town in Texas. No one stopped her."

"What do you want?"

I had to give the girl credit, she was refreshingly candid. "Maria dead. Sooner rather than later."

"Why?" I shrugged. "This is the affair of men."

"Her troops butchered my family," Bella whispered. "They attacked the Quileute tribe for months."

"Was Edward not there to protect you?" I already knew the answer from his remarks and thoughts.

"He was away trying to save us all. His family was, too. I handled it." Yes, I had seen what Edward had found upon his return. That could never happen again.

"So what worries you about this Maria?"

"You mean aside from the fact that she wants to kidnap me and use me as some kind of bargaining chip along with Alice and Jasper?"

"Who are Alice and Jasper?" Ah yes, Edward had shown me drawings. I did not mind playing the fool to convince her to speak. She seemed as hesitant to converse as Edward. For once, I thanked the gods his kind were sterile. Children from those two would be a disaster.

"Edward's siblings. Jasper used to work for Maria years back and he left. Maria wants him back to plan battles for her, I think. She also would love to have Alice at her disposal because Alice can see the future sometimes."

"Having a good battle leader and seer would only strengthen her army. And those two are mates?"


"Taking them both guarantees the loyalty because if one dies, the other will follow. Silly vampires. It's a major flaw in their species."

"Can I bring something to this side to show you?" Nervously, she ran her fingers against the cloth of the skirt of her nightdress.

"Of course, simply think of it." I held out my palm. A small paper bird appeared in it, covered, by the smell of it, in red human paint.

"That was meant to be me."

"How so?"

Her voice shook. "My last name is Swan. That is an origami swan."

"I see."

"Maria sent that to me at school. It's a replica of the paper swan she had her soldiers leave on the pieces of the body of Harry Clearwater who was like an uncle to me."



"Give me your hand." She offered it again. "Think of that day." I saw from her mind more than I suspect she intended. That poor child. She made me proud.

"Well, we cannot have that, now can we?" I dropped her hand. "You do realize what you are asking?" Maria the demon was incredibly powerful – and Bella was a mere mortal. Marcus, doubtlessly would throw an epic temper tantrum. Edward would probably require stunning into somnolence.

"I'm tired of sitting around jumping at noises. I want her gone. Edward said you were the strongest person he had ever met. And he knows a lot of strong people. Can you help me, please?"


"Why what?"

"Why do you require my help? Marcus has an entire army at his disposal. His legionnaires alone could handle Maria." That was a lie, but I wanted to know the answer.

She cast her eyes away and sounded shamed, "Because when she comes, Edward will have to fight."

"He is powerful, you know. I know he has fighting experience."

"Oh, I have seen him fight. He's fearless."

"So what is the problem?"

"Edward's powers, they are young. They don't always work like he wants them to, especially if he is upset." She rubbed at her pate.


"When he came back, he got into a fight with a demon that had possessed a friend of ours. His heart stopped. It took every powerful immortal in the house to bring him back to life."

She held out her hand again and showed me what she had seen. What was wrong with Marcus? He must be so weak. How did a demon of that nature get near Bella? His days of avoiding me were going to have to end. Had he learned nothing? I was going to have his father have a firm chat with him.

"Bella, Edward healed. Soldiers learn by fighting. Sometimes they are wounded. The wise ones train to avoid having that happen."

"Marcus said that Edward is like a newborn three times over. He does not have control of his powers."

"Ah. I see." Her words rang true.

"So if he lost his temper - which is easy for a newborn to do - there's no telling what could happen." Her eyes were wide. Clearly she had seen him lose his temper before.

"You are worried about your man."

"I am. I cannot stand to see him suffer. He could die for real. I can't have that. Not if I can do something to prevent it."

"Well then, listen up, girl. We have some planning to do."

"You'll help?" She smiled. I had not seen a true one in eons. I wanted to freeze the moment in time.

"You only had to ask. Besides, this Maria is foolish. Bah! She made it easy to find her." I wagged the paper. "This is simple."

"Thank you!" The girl seemed about to cry. "I am so tired of being afraid for everyone."

"You are welcome, Bella."

Her smile withered on the vine. "So what do you want in return?"

"You knew I expected something back?"

"No offense, Great Grandmother. But nothing in life comes without a price."

"That is true." What a solemn young woman. A wise one as well.

"And it probably would be best if I did not reek when I wake up. Edward would become . . . hysterical." She also understood her man.

I held an index finger to my lips and said, "He'll never hear a word from me about our meetings. You can tell him if you wish. You are going to be my student."

"Yes to the student. Heck no to telling Edward." Bella shuddered, "He would only try to stop me. It's better if I just handle this on my own. Can you show me how to kill her?"

"Of course, girl. We have work to do. You have to crawl before you can kill."

"I know."

"I expect hard work."


"You'll come here every night."

She did not seem hesitant. "Nightly training. Got it."

My, what an excellent student she would make. I refused to show her the rage that boiled within me. I took a deep breath and fixed my features to seem kind and gentle, two words that had never been associated with my name. I did it for her sake. She looked like she needed a mother's love. With that, we began our first lesson.

"Gaia! What have you done?" A shrill voice that Bella could not hear wailed at me from the heavens.

"What I should have done years ago. I am taking back my name. I am taking back my power. I am taking back my family. I will crush any who stand against me, so dear Sister," I paused, "I suggest you stay out of my path. I am late for a family reunion."

"You are making me wait." My husband teased from afar. "A thousand years apart and you go to do this rather than see your mate? I definitely married the right woman," he laughed.

"A few moments more will not cost you the joy you soon shall feel," I promised. "Now hush and stop distracting me, beloved. I believe it is your turn to find nourishment for us." With that I left him chortling. Men.

I strengthened the shields on my former home, and moved my grandchildren's souls under cover of the chaos I had wrought. That should give every last one of the gods something to worry about. Fools. If those children frightened them, the ones I planned on conceiving tonight would scare them witless.

Reassuringly, I smiled again at Bella. My cheeks felt stiff from disuse like frozen ice under the warmth of the spring's first serenade. She met me with dancing eyes. In them, I saw the future and salvation of us all. I sent Bella back to her bed with an awkward caress on the forehead. It had been so long since I had touched a child that I had fallen out of practice.

Throwing off my robe - the mark of my servitude - I dressed to meet my husband. I had a thousand years of love and vengeance awaiting me, and I could not wait to begin. Newfound joy kindling in my heart, I approached the laughing voice of my man.

The End

Please review, it amuses Marcus' Momma.

Snarky Summary – Ok fine. So Marcus' Mother sentenced him to suffer for a thousand years and that was a wee bit harsh. Someone gave new meaning to the term "time out" in regards to child rearing. But she had good cause. It kept him alive in the undead sense. With the worst case of blue balls in the VampVerse aside from Edward Cullen. But still. Oh, correction, sparkly blue balls. My bad. But hey, Marcus' Momma wasn't getting any either during that time, which could possibly account for part of the reason she's so cranky. That and being surrounded by the spiritual corpses of the grandchildren that the gods forced her to watch be slain. Bitter much?

She is now a woman on a mission. She's going to kick some butt and take names. After she gets epic sexin' from her man. Oh, and she already killed one sibling. So the rest of those targets – I mean gods and goddesses - had better sit up and take notice. School is back in session. And ambitious Bella is going to be the recipient of all that good will. After all, Marcus' Momma insists she knows how to treat her family right. Those that are still alive that is. And not on her hit list. But still.

If you like this, please consider putting me on Author Alert. It is the easiest way for you to know when I post another one-shot. And I will.