Such a beautiful disaster

Author's notes

Seen loads of one-shots based around Kakashi's death, not nearly enough around Sakura's. So I figured I would write one. That's all- for once I figured I would keep this short R&R XD


Every morning Kakashi would wake up, drenched in a sea of tears and sweat, his body convulsing, his entire being shaking from the terrible re-enactment that never failed to reduce him to a state of vulnerability.

Every morning he would stand under a cold shower, trying to get a grip, using the water pummelling his form to hide his tears. He would then dress entirely in black, a constant for his mourning. Except for the tiny cherry blossom on the end of a long piece of black rope, hidden from everyone.

He would then sit at his kitchen table, drinking tea from the mug Sakura had bought him for his birthday- a limited-edition mug with a picture of the Make out paradise cover on it- whilst holding the picture of her on her 18th birthday, an arm slung around his shoulders, the other around Sasuke while she laughed. He remembered it well; Naruto had just walked in, dressed as a bowl of Ramen for some obscure reason. It had been a ludicrously hilarious sight though, and thus, the result equalled a picture of Sasuke half glaring and half laughing, Sakura laughing and Kakashi smiling, a real smile that lit up his whole face, a smile that was more likely induced by Sakura's smile and her arm around him than by Naruto himself.

He would then wipe the never ending flow of tears off the photo, before placing it on the small memorial table in his living room and picking up the small black box that never failed to unveil memories.

He would always lift of the lid slowly, as if it were hugely delicate. He would stroke the black satin lining the box, his fingers trembling as he did so.

He would then gently slide the ring out of the box, the one he had never gotten to give her. He would lightly trace the inscription inside; the one he had gotten Sai to add to the gift for him. In this engagement ring, Kakashi had wanted an element of individuality as well as wanting it to be personal. The thin band of the ring had been impossible to inscribe by the Jeweller, but Sai had managed it, lightly carving the words: Sakura, here is my love, from Kakashi. A simple message that he couldn't word any other way.

He would then hurriedly yet carefully return the ring to its spot, for fear of dropping it, for damaging the testament to his love, before everything assaulted him.

Kakashi was helping himself to more cake as he reasoned with himself. He just didn't know how to ask the beautiful kunoichi. He decided, for fear of being rejected, to wait until the end. Happy with this incredibly simple and blatantly obvious plan, he filled his plate and walked back to her, smiling as he watched her punch Naruto's stupid, Ramen hat that topped off the moronic yet amusing costume. It had seemed that her birthday had put her in such a good mood that she had decided to pick on the costume rather than the kid himself. Kakashi optimistically reasoned that it helped his chances as he came to a stop next to her, content to stuff his face until Naruto gleefully announced that he was going to go try some of Ino's homemade ramen.

"Kakashi, you've got frosting on the edge of your mask" with this observation Sakura wiped it off, the movement brushing Kakashi's cheek and causing him to blush slightly.

"Thanks. Ummm Sakura-Chan, can I ...speak to you at the end of the party?" She frowned as if confused, but nodded in assent.

"If you wanna talk, you'll have to do it now, copy-nin" Kakashi gasped as he realised, that, in his befuddled state he allowed his guard to drop completely. Before he could respond he found three ninja restraining him for reasons unknown.

"I thought it would be harder than that to catch you, Kakashi. I'm rather disappointed." A fourth ninja was suddenly standing in front of him, kunai raised in front of him.

"Want to know why I'm here, Kakashi?" The ninja smiled a sadistic smirk that could have easily made someone sick.

"Yes, actually. Though the correct sequence would be: who are you, what are you doing here, what do you want with me?" Kakashi managed to clip out, which was quite an amazing feat considering the hand clamped firmly around his neck.

"That's all unnecessary, Hatake. You killed my girlfriend, you worthless prick. So I will kill you. A life for a life is generally an even trade."

"A life? As in any life? Kill me instead." Kakashi heard Sakura order, her voice steady, face determined.

His heart sunk as he realised that this ninja- which he could now clearly state was akatsuki- wasn't going to let this one go.

"No, Sakura, don't you dare! You can't do this! I won't let you!" He heard himself shout pointlessly as he struggled against the restraining hands equally pointlessly.

"Yes, you will AND you will watch!" He heard the man practically sing in glee.

And he did. He watched as the heartless bastard of a man wasted no time in carrying out his vendetta, plunging the Kunai through her chest in one swift movement.

Then all four vanished with a puff of smoke, at least staying true to the point of one life and one life only. They seemed to think that it would be crueller to spare his life than to let him join her. Not that she was dead at that point, just too close to it to have any chance of survival.

Kakashi ran to catch her as she fell, only needing to move about three steps due to their proximity before the disaster.

He saw the blood stain her perfect white dress, forming a flower shape, almost like a cherry Blossom. Such a beautiful disaster. Especially as she smiled peacefully at the agonised Kakashi.

"Kakashi, I love you" She choked out, forcing her eyes to concentrate on his. She coughed a few times, ruining the perfection, before shakily reaching her hand to his face, which he promptly covered with his, holding it there as if he could keep her with him so long as the contact remained.

"I love you too, blossom," He replied, equally choked, though through tears rather than blood.

He knew she was dead when the emptiness took a hold of him. He no longer felt whole as he had done in those last few minutes, even in his panicked state he had finally lost that feeling of being alone. And he was back to being alone, her hand had gone so slack that he knew she was dead, and the trembling had stopped, though it took awhile for him to notice due to the tremors that were wrecking havoc through him.

When this realisation caught on, he started to scream in agony, he collapsed over her, fingers tracing over her face, lightly so as not to move a single hair out of place, not to change her in any way.

That was when the world started to come back to him. The shrieks turned into cries for help, remembering the guests told him that someone could help, someone could do SOMETHING. Anything.

He knew there were people, but he only acknowledged their actions briefly as someone tried to pry her body out of his arms. He realised that everyone had been frozen in shock unprepared for the display of violence that never appeared outside of work. He then realised that nearly all of them had been thrown into action by his screams, people rushing for medics, people looking for someone to tell them what they were meant to be doing.

As he sat in the hospital, it took three days to remember how to sleep, and two weeks to stop the random fits of screaming. And three months later, the crying still never ceased. Kakashi was simply unnatural like that. Anyone would think that he had run out of tears long ago.

And every morning Kakashi would decide that he couldn't face the world in which Sakura had been annihilated, and go back to bed. Every morning he would wish that he had the strength to join her, that he wasn't a weak excuse for a man. And every morning he would curse his weakness. And every morning he would dream that he had the strength to end it. It was the only dream he always woke from without screaming.

And every morning, Sakura would wish that he could feel her arms around him as he cried, that he could hear her reassuring him.

That he could hear her telling him she loved him.