This is a new story I'm going to be working on. It's going to involve cutting again, but it'll be more realistic/in character than my other story, Her Own Box Full of Sharp Objects. I'll let you guys know if there's going to be cutting in the chapter because I know that it can trigger people. It'll follow some of the storylines in Degrassi, but not all of them. Also, I don't know how often I'm going to be able to update. I have a shitload of schoolwork and a SOCIAL LIFE, so I can't spend all day writing. Sowwwwryyy.

And there is cutting in this chapter.


"She spends the weekends with me, Helen! We had a deal!" Clare closed her eyes as she heard her parents fighting. Divorce was supposed to make this stop, she thought to herself.

"I don't care! I didn't see her enough this week! She's staying here! Now leave, Randall!"

Clare flinched as the voices grew louder. She hated how much easier it was to hear everything in an apartment. Even Eli's headphones couldn't mask the yelling.

"Holy shit, Helen! And you still wonder why I spent so much time at work? You always make things worse! Clare is mine on the weekends, so shut up and leave us alone for two days!"

Clare felt a tear roll down her cheek. She pulled out her phone, ready to text Eli, but decided that she'd bothered him enough. After the "I want to spend the night with you" drama, Clare spilled her heart out to Eli. She told him almost everything that she was holding in, and even though it took a huge weight off of her shoulders, she didn't want to overwhelm Eli with her problems. The memory of that night played back in her head.

"Thank you, Eli," Clare said. She took a deep breath and felt a smiling tugging at the corners of her mouth when Eli's fingers met her cheek, wiping away her tears.

"Anything for you," Eli said with a smirk.

Clare leaned into him again. "I just want things to go back to normal," she sighed, feeling a new set of tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I know. But some things... some things just change, even if you don't want them to. It sucks, but it happens." He pulled away to face Clare, making eye contact with her. "But you and I, us... we won't change."

Clare sighed and nodded. She melted into Eli's embrace as he put his arm around her.

After a couple minutes of silence, Eli spoke up. "I should get you home. It's almost nine. And your mom still hates me, I assume."

"I told her that you aren't as bad as I tried to make you seem like." Clare smiled, a little embarrassed by her behavior when she invited Eli over for dinner. "And she knows that I was going crazy last week, that I was just... trying to stop the d-divorce."

"Good," Eli said, smirking. "Because I want to come over for dinner again. I'll even learn how to... thank God for the food...?"

Clare shook her head and giggled. "You don't have to learn anything new, don't worry. If my parents knew that I tried to have sex with you and you said no, they would probably worship you. You know, after they kicked me out..."

Eli kissed her cheek, and they both got into his hearse.

"Clare! Are you almost ready to leave?" Clare awoke from her thoughts, her dad's voice coming through her bedroom door.

"A-almost," she stuttered.

"No, Clare!" Her mother walked into her room. "You're staying here tonight! I didn't get to see you enough this week. Put your bag away, and help me get our dinner ready."

"Helen, give it a rest! She's coming home with me tonight!"

"No, Randall! Clare, who do you want to stay with?" Her mom asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Clare opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. "W-well... Mom, I'm technically supposed to stay with Dad to-tonight. So I think that it would be best... for me to go with him."

"Oh, nonsense, Clare! You're only a kid. I shouldn't be asking you that. You're staying with me!"

Clare watched in shock as her mom forcefully pushed her mom out of the house.

"Leave, or I'll call the cops!"

Clare stood up, sharing a glance with her dad as he left the apartment. After a few moments passed, Clare turned to her mom. "I'm not even hungry, Mom. How about you go out to dinner somewhere?I'll order pizza or something if I get hungry."

"Nonsense, Clare!" Her mother scoffed. "I want to spend the evening with you!"

"Well I don't want to eat dinner with someone who shoved my father out of this apartment!" Clare snapped. She took a deep breath, trying to recompose herself. "Mom, please. Just let me be tonight. This whole thing... it's all just... too new for me. I just want to be alone."

Helen sighed. "All right, honey. I... I'll go out with Tina. Just don't leave the house. I'll be back home tonight around nine, okay?"

Clare faked a smile and nodded. She headed towards her bathroom- luckily, both of her apartments had more than one bathroom, so Clare always had her own-, stopping at her bed to take a razor blade out of her bag. She took a shaky breath and rolled up her sweater sleeve, pressing the blade against her upper arm. She slid it against her skin, sharply inhaling as the pain flooded her thoughts.

As sick and twisted as the logic was, the self-inflicted pain was her relief. The blood, representing her anger, her sadness, her frustration, flowed out of her arm, and even if it was just for a few seconds, she forgot how upset she was. The numerous scars, running up and down her arm, permanently marked each issue that she had to battle.

When did she start cutting? She couldn't even remember. When would she stop? She didn't know. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. It was like every other way that she would deal with her problems was gone- hurting herself was the only way she knew how to stop hurting.

Cutting was her secret. No one knew, and Clare was going to make sure that it was going to stay that way.


Let me know what you think. And sorry if it wasn't clear when I would write Helen/Clare's mom and Randall/Clare's dad. I didn't feel like correcting all of that in the end.:D