"I find it fascinating, really," Mello mused, staring wistfully at a fly on the window as I walked over and stood next to him, "that something that knows it has a mere twenty-four hours to live spends its last moments in the company of those most likely to kill it."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Mello, it's a fly."
Ignoring me, he continued, "Is it suicidal stupidity? Or rather, poetic justice? Those flies… they go right into the heart of their soon-to-be murderer's domains, as if teasing them, taunting them. It's almost as if they're saying, 'I know what's coming, and I'm not afraid.' Such brave, brave little creatures."
"It's just a fly. Don't you think you're over-analyzing it?"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" he whisper-yelled, trying to keep quiet so as to not wake up the rest of our group. "This little creation of God is just as important as you and I, and he deserves to be treated with respect. In fact, I have half a mind to say he's in possession of twice the amount of balls you'll ever have!"
Resisting the sudden urge to bang my head against the wall, I muttered, "Once again, it's just a fly. As far as I'm concerned, these little bastards serve no purpose on this planet other than to annoy the piss out of me while I'm trying to eat dinner."
He huffed, glaring sideways at me and lightly placing his right hand about six inches away from the fly, as if wanting to caress it but not wanting it to leave. "You just can't appreciate the beauty of life, and I pity you. I pity you highly. Your heart is filled with an unbridled amount of hatred and lies, and you seek to understand things you can't even begin to comprehend. To you, love and beauty are just words, just possessions, but to me, they're everything."
Giving one last longing look at the 'little bastard,' he whipped a flyswatter from somewhere and smacked it on the window, smirking at his perfect aim and flawless execution.
"What the hell, Mello?" I asked incredulously, beyond confused at what had just happened.
Rolling his eyes, he turned his back on me and headed away from the window. "There was a fly. The hell else was I supposed to do, talk to it?" he replied sarcastically, purposely kicking Near on his way to the bathroom. Even after he closed the bathroom door, I could still hear him. "Talking to flies. You're one fucked up dude, Light."
Feeling my eye twitch, I continued staring in the direction of the bathroom, coming back to reality only after I heard Ryuuzaki speak up. "He gets like that sometimes, Light-kun," he said, voice sleep-laced as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You shouldn't try to make much of it; it rarely means anything, and the times it does are few and far between."
"He must be a riot when drunk," I deadpanned, pinching the bridge of my nose in irritation before shuffling over to wake Matt and Near up, only to find them already awake and well-aware of what had just happened.
Matt grinned at me. "Hell, you think that was weird? You should've seen him the first time he tried drugs; crazy shit, man. Near can tell you all about it. Right, buddy?"
"First of all," he started, voice as monotone as usual, "I am not your 'buddy.' I have no real interest in anything you or Mello do, so kindly stop trying to include me in everything. Second, there are some memories I work to repress and block from my mind to spare myself the mental trauma. Why do you insist on bringing them back up?"
Sticking his tongue out playfully at the 'fun-sucker,' as I'd heard Near called before, Matt explained, "So, Mels and I were at this crazy party, right?"
"I don't know; I wasn't there."
"…never mind. Continue."
"Oh… so, crazy party. One person brought something in a baggie, and seriously, to this day I still don't know what the fuck it was. Anyway, Mels decided to try some, and from then on he was loopy as all hell. When he woke up the next morning after passing out, he was wearing an obscenely short mini-dress, had no underwear on, and was apparently using a lampshade as a hat. He vowed never to do drugs again."
Staring at him for a while, I looked over at Near, who was shaking his head as if saying 'no comment.' I turned around to face Ryuuzaki again and blinked at him a few times, pressing my lips into a thin line. "Do I really wanna know?"
"Probably not, Light-kun. It's for the best."
"Oh, I'm not complaining."
He sighed. "My successors are a bit… quirky." No shit, Ryuuzaki. "It's really not a big deal, just a little bit distracting. They are all good-natured, upstanding citizens, but, as with any person, they have their abnormalities that are a tad bit of a drawback."
Before I could say something to that, Matt pounded loudly on the bathroom door. "MELLO, HURRY THE FUCK UP! I HAVE A BONER I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF!"
Ryuuzaki and I both shuddered at the same time. "Okay, I could've lived my whole life without knowing that."
"Same here, Light-kun."
Motioning to Matt, I said, "So, is modesty one of those traits that 'good-natured, upstanding citizens' have? Or did I miss that memo?"
"A true friend accepts the flaws in the other's family."
Having successfully caught my attention, I took a good look at Ryuuzaki; with his big, innocent eyes, it was hard to dislike anyone he was even remotely associated with. Just the sight of him made me feel like melting, and I sat down on Matt and Mello's bed to make sure my knees didn't give out. "I never said I denounced them, did I?"
"It was implied."
"I never imply things."
"You're also a liar, Light-kun."
Fighting off a pout, I challenged, "Oh, yeah? When have I ever lied to you?"
"Last week, when I asked if you were the one that emptied the shampoo bottle and neglected to tell someone. You adamantly denied that it was you, despite the conclusive evidence."
"Well, that was only once! I'd like to see you try to find another example."
"Direct lies, or indirect? I have a plethora."
"ALRIGHT," Mello announced loudly as he walked out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a pair of acid-wash skinny jeans and his rosary, "break it up, ladies." Putting on a British accent (hilariously enough, he didn't have one normally. I didn't bother asking), he mock-complained, "Goodness knows the bloody tension in this room will make my hair frizz."
I pulled a face. "For fuck's sake, Mello, put a damn shirt on."
The floor there was quite comfortable. The carpet was soft, silky, and had many endearing qualities that made me feel warm and cozy. Were it not for the pathetic and pointless banter transpiring, I could have fallen back asleep.
With nothing else left to do, I absolved to grabbing my stuffed bear and heading silently off to the bathroom to shower after Matt finished and came back out.
They did not miss me.
Not that I cared.
Teru Mikami sat down in front of his computer, flicking it on and sipping from his cup of coffee methodically. "Time to check my email," he said decisively, opening up an internet browser and logging into his account. "Let's see…" He opened the first one.
We regret to inform you that your order has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances. You can call our 24-hour service desk if you have any questions or concerns, or you can reply to this email with any complaints. We are very sorry for the inconvenience, and we hope to have your order to you as soon as possible.
Thank you for your understanding,
Sipping again at his java, he hovered his finger over the 'delete' button calmly before jamming it down forcefully, making it clack loudly. "DELETE!"
When are you going to come out and visit again? It's been too long, son, and I have missed your company.
Please write back,
And so it continued for nearly half an hour.
Playboy. "DELETE!" Clack.
Comcast. "DELETE!" Clack.
Yahoo! "DELETE!" Clack.
Royal Caribbean International, Princess Cruises, Disney. "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!" Clack, clack, clack.
Suave Hair Care Products. "DEL—wait. SAVE!"
Author's Note: This chapter got rewritten so many flipping times because Light sounded too damn much like Mello.
I'm pretty okay with this version, though. DELETE, BITCHES!